How do you feel now compared to when you joined?

[TheSkaFish]

total flip,when i joined 11years ago was in a bad place even till not that long ago and alot of **** went down ,but making the change i need to,and actually getting my **** together, im in the place i always wanted to be

just keep strong <3

If you don't mind sharing, what is the place that you always wanted to be? And how did you get there? Just curious.

 

[Syber Tiger]

just being happy with myself how/what i am,and where i am in life
mentaly,spiritualy and physicaly

after years of struggeling with selfworth,depression,anxeity,drug addiction,and other bad ways to deal/mask what i felt

step one is to truly want to get better,and not just say it and let it stay there

i was just truly done with it all i could not take it anymore and i decided that night i want to get better, and putted effort into it, yes it was hard,yes there was/are bad days but thats part of life, also there will be time that u may feel like your failing, but you just need to keep on pushing on day by day its the small things that helps, and it all adds up after time,what helped me the most to keep going was my spiritual path to myself instead of seeking that fulfilment from outside cuz it never worked out,it just made it worce cuz the void was always there...it does get better, just need to really want it and realise it take time and not give up in a week cuz nothing changed
keeping your mind busy with productive helps alot and staying away from all that depressing quotes and people help alot,as if you keep it around you ,your making it your life/reality as you keep telling your self your depressed or what ever it is your keep telling your self over and over

 

[ardour]

things just keep slowly getting worse as the months & years pass by.  i truly cannot even remember when i was last happy or content-if ever.  each day is another one wasted being alone & unwanted and as the song goes- older, shorter of breath and one day closer to death.  some people consider life to be a gift because they were fortunate enough to be born with the tools to succeed & thrive.  for those of us who were cursed at birth with garbage genetics life is anything but and our existence is one of loneliness, depression & envy for those who have what we never will.  far better to have never been born at all imo.

Yup, but I wish I'd spent what time I had left (mid 30's) doing everything I could rather than whinging.  It would be easier to accept knowing I had at least given it a good shot.

 

[African_weasel]

I've made some progress but I haven't gotten to where I'm able to have an irl gathering. I'm still haven't gotten a partner after 6 years of being a member of a this forum. I was 18-19 back then

 

[4No1]

In my real life almost the same. But here I became bolder and post posts withouth a lot of thinking of my "obfuscated language" or stupid thoughts. I'm not sure wether it's good or bad.
In short terms I feel braver.

 

[TheSkaFish]

things just keep slowly getting worse as the months & years pass by. i truly cannot even remember when i was last happy or content-if ever. each day is another one wasted being alone & unwanted and as the song goes- older, shorter of breath and one day closer to death. some people consider life to be a gift because they were fortunate enough to be born with the tools to succeed & thrive. for those of us who were cursed at birth with garbage genetics life is anything but and our existence is one of loneliness, depression & envy for those who have what we never will. far better to have never been born at all imo.

^Kinda feeling this lately. I'm afraid that it's too late for me to turn my life around, and I'm doomed to a life where I'll just have to save every penny while I sit on the couch and do nothing for the rest of my life. That the best I can hope for out of life anymore is TV, movies, videogames, booze, weed, sleep, and pretending to be happy with corny, lame free stuff instead of actually living. I hoped for something more than that, but I'm afraid that unless I somehow unlock some kind of latent genius and become a millionaire, that's going to be my existence. And I can't imagine there are too many women who would want to join me for that.

Or I'm afraid that I never had a chance in the first place, because my genetics just weren't good enough to begin with. Not talking about looks either, talking more about intelligence (which would allow me to do something that pays well enough to have a life instead of just waiting to expire), or having some kind of talent or natural ability which would allow me to be an interesting person.

no hobby or distraction can make up for the complete lack of physical & intimate connection.  i think if i were to admit defeat i would not find much to make it worthwhile to carry on

^This too. Again, only drinking and smoking comes close, when you get to a point where you are OK just laying on a couch or the floor. Or just sleeping.

^ How about changing your focus? If you can't succeed in one area, women, or even several areas. Admit defeat. It's completely unfair. You'll never win. It sucks. I agree. I'd rather not have been born myself. My life is not a gift. If given the option to come back after I die I will request to go into nothingness. I had a vasectomy early in my life partly because I didn't want another human being to have to go through what I have. But, continually beating yourself up about it doesn't help you.

Try focusing your attention in areas that you can exceed in where others might very well fail. It probably won't make you as happy as getting what you want. But, it might very well get you satisfied and at least get you feeling better about yourself. Because after all your genetics are not your fault. The decisions you make about them are though.

The problem is when you can't succeed in ANY area, when you can't shine at anything, and can't beat anyone at anything. Makes you feel like you just aren't good enough, like you are just inherently a loser. Like you were born to be just another member of the crowd, a nobody. Like the ******** are right - some people really ARE better than others. As much as I've always hated that view, I've always been afraid that it's true.

I find that success and failure kind of build on each other - like if you're good in one area, it can carry over to another area, and another, and so on and just kind of build you up. Like if you're good at a hobby, or have a good career, you can have confidence that you're a valuable person (or at least NOT think of yourself as mediocre/inferior/a loser), and then you have better interactions with people, a more optimistic worldview which people like instead of a pessimistic one, and so on and so forth.

But when you don't have any strengths, your problems compound, which saps your confidence, makes you feel like a loser, makes you frustrated and pessimistic, and turns people off from getting to know you because it makes you negative and boring. But it's hard to get out of that, because that would require you to actually be successful at something - which you feel is impossible, because there isn't anything that comes to you easily.

I don't know. I'm feeling gloomier than usual today.

 

[4No1]

The problem is when you can't succeed in ANY area, when you can't shine at anything, and can't beat anyone at anything. Makes you feel like you just aren't good enough, like you are just inherently a loser. Like you were born to be just another member of the crowd, a nobody. Like the ******** are right - some people really ARE better than others. As much as I've always hated that view, I've always been afraid that it's true.

The same feeling.

I find that success and failure kind of build on each other - like if you're good in one area, it can carry over to another area, and another, and so on and just kind of build you up. Like if you're good at a hobby, or have a good career, you can have confidence that you're a valuable person (or at least NOT think of yourself as mediocre/inferior/a loser), and then you have better interactions with people, a more optimistic worldview which people like instead of a pessimistic one, and so on and so forth.

And this too. I've read that if a low-rated monkey learn a new thing, for example to get a banana from a puzzle, others would just take it away, but if alfa-monkey learn it, others will watch and learn from it(not because they are mean just the hierarhical style provide better survival for the spieces). IMO humans are not really too far though I don't like it.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I've read that if a low-rated monkey learn a new thing, for example to get a banana from a puzzle, others would just take it away, but if alfa-monkey learn it, others will watch and learn from it(not because they are mean just the hierarchical style provide better survival for the spieces). IMO humans are not really too far though I don't like it.

It's too bad humans have to be this way. I used to hope we'd have evolved past this by now, but the older I get the more I feel like most people haven't. It's made me somewhat disillusioned with people and society as a whole, although there are individuals I like. And it's made me especially disillusioned with attraction.

I feel like I wouldn't even be the low-rated monkey that solved a puzzle and got the banana, only for it to be taken away. Instead I feel like I'd be the monkey who can't even figure out the puzzle. I try things, and it just doesn't work, I just don't get it.

 

[kaetic]

Depends on the day... but probably not much different.
I honestly thought I was doing better. I started taking antidepressants a couple months ago. After years of thinking I was going to fix things on my own, I finally asked for help. I don't feel any better though, today especially. It's my own fault...

 

[Forgottendanfan]

I've made one very sweet friend on here who I talk to everyday, so it's been worth joining simply for that reason alone.

 

[4No1]

I've made one very sweet friend on here who I talk to everyday, so it's been worth joining simply for that reason alone.

Nice to hear it! Thx for sharing, it encourage.

I used to hope we'd have evolved past this by now, but the older I get the more I feel like most people haven't. It's made me somewhat disillusioned with people and society as a whole, although there are individuals I like.

So did I. Sometime I feel like not most but all the people haven't including myself.

 

[xephier102]

Redundant question feels redundant, lol.. If people are still here, I imagine the typical answer would be 'the same', or 'worse'. As people don't typically go to help sites, when they don't need help, lol..

 

[TheRealCallie]

Redundant question feels redundant, lol.. If people are still here, I imagine the typical answer would be 'the same', or 'worse'. As people don't typically go to help sites, when they don't need help, lol..

Not always true. When I first joined, I was a horrible person (some here might say I still am ). I was alone, lonely, a shell of a person. I'm not anymore. I only experience the "normal" sense of loneliness on occasion that most people in the world feel and I'm okay now. I'm a much better person than when I first joined.
I stayed because I made friends here and I like helping people. And well, someone has to run the chat room

 

[xephier102]

Not always true. When I first joined, I was a horrible person (some here might say I still am ). I was alone, lonely, a shell of a person. I'm not anymore. I only experience the "normal" sense of loneliness on occasion that most people in the world feel and I'm okay now. I'm a much better person than when I first joined.
I stayed because I made friends here and I like helping people. And well, someone has to run the chat room

Yea.. I think I remember you from before, the feeling behind it isn't great. They say that you can always forget a face, or a name, but you'll never forget how the person made you feel.

 

[user15010]

I joined first quite a few years ago, then, left and joined briefly again. Now, after six years I'm back. If defined by a number of closer contacts, I'm in a more tragic situation than at the beginning. However, I don't feel worse. I kind of like the state of not having anyone really close. It may sound sad but it's not. I'm not even sure if I even want to meet someone in the future. I feel at peace. Time will tell

 

[ladyforsaken]

I joined first quite a few years ago, then, left and joined briefly again. Now, after six years I'm back. If defined by a number of closer contacts, I'm in a more tragic situation than at the beginning. However, I don't feel worse. I kind of like the state of not having anyone really close. It may sound sad but it's not. I'm not even sure if I even want to meet someone in the future. I feel at peace. Time will tell

Hey rivermaze, I remember you.

I think I know what you mean. I'm kinda at peace with keeping people at a distance and in fact I think I haven't truly been socialising this whole pandemic and I'm liking it.

As for me, I feel like I've grown quite a bit since the first time I joined back in 2007 and then left to join again in 2012, both at different stages of my life. It's been a crazy rollercoaster but I think I'm at the stage where I just go with the flow... whatever will be, will be. Before, I was always concerned about my future or what's in store for me in the journey ahead of me. I guess I can say I'm at peace too?

 

[user 139760]

Well, at the risk of repeating what the lil darlin' above me said lol, it's been a rollercoaster ride lol. Ups and downs. But overall...better. I joined kind of being fine, just bored at my workplace at the time and looking for an old school message board, to living the worst possible thing I could hardly imagine and needing this place like a drowning man needs a safety vest...so it's been wild. But the people here are good people, despite being from many different backgrounds, with many different stories and a whole lot of differing opinions. In the end, it's what matters, because it kept me sane. Well, moderately sane. Well okay, I'm alright.

 

[4No1]

I don't feel a shame/guilty for posting anymore
I still type and delete without posting sometimes, but if I post, I feel almost normal))

 

[Bratwurst0516]

How did you feel about your life when you joined the forum compared to how you feel now?
Has there been much change? and if so, whats changed for you and how long did it take? what helped you change?
or are you exactly the same as before?

Worse now, than before. While I was in an LDR(Long-Distance Relationship). The woman I loved. Died on 9-4-2021. She was only 52.

 

[non_entity]

Well, I've only been here a little over a week, I think. I feel about the same.

I seriously need to tone down my propensity for over-sharing.