How do you feel when people get together ?

[putter65]

I've noticed one of work colleagues has a new boyfriend. It's all over her facebook. She's been complaining recently about been single.

There seems to be a pattern when people get together. Judging from her facebook, she liked him, told all her friends, they must have told him and he did something about it. They become a couple. Simple as that !

I always have a feeling of 'not been as good as everybody else' when this happens. I've been single all my life mostly, seen loads of people hook up with each other. I have that feeling that I'm not good enough for dating, women don't like me, I never get set up with anybody. All those crushes I had with women were just that; crushes. None of them were ever interested. No signs that I am missing. Just nothing. No interest.

Anyway, from that it's obvious why I'm clinging on to that woman I met last year.

Can anybody relate to feeling like this ?

 

[Okiedokes]

When I was single, I guess maybe it would bring all these thoughts of when will I meet my guy...or maybe they don't exist. Nowdays, as I've had a couple relationships..one being pretty long now, it's like well that's great... but I can see some of them splitting up in a few months or so. Is that cynical or what? lol, but it's just seems to be common. My thoughts are... "slooooooooow dooooooooown". And... "you don't know what their flaws are yet, so stop saying they are perfect". :]

 

[LoneKiller]

Don't ever say that you aren't as good as everyone else. That's ********. Do you have any idea how many people are out there that feel just the same as you?

You are just as good as anyone else. Celebrities are millionaires, people drive Ford Mustangs, people are very attractive, some are none of these.
This doesn't mean that you are less of a person and don't have a bunch of love to offer. Everyone has the right to be happy.

What good is a rich husband or wife if they make your life miserable? Does their fancy car make them a better person? Take the courage you've shown by posting here and use it to find someone that loves you, not your possessions or status in life. To Hell with all the others that seem better than you because they have what you don't.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Honestly, I get a bit jealous and sick at the same time with ones that gush over their new "love of their life". How long have you known each other? You've only been dating a week? WTF? Now when people have been together longer and still are so much in love, that's when I get jealous. Wish I could find that. :/

 

[The Good Citizen]

A good friend off mine was talking about her problems with her new boyfriend, both families seem hell bent on splitting them up on religious grounds I guess. Everyday she has her mother, and sister on her back, his mother is at him or both mothers at each other. Don't know where the dad's are (hiding in the back I guess ).

Anyway point is for the first time I thought, you know being single isn't all that bad. All the grief and misery I was getting 6 months ago, I have none of that at the moment! What you see from the outside is not there all the time, relationships can be a real pain in the ass! I'd always look to be back in one though but I shouldn't forget that there are plus sides to being your own person and being answerable to no one.

 

[putter65]

A good friend off mine was talking about her problems with her new boyfriend, both families seem hell bent on splitting them up on religious grounds I guess. Everyday she has her mother, and sister on her back, his mother is at him or both mothers at each other. Don't know where the dad's are (hiding in the back I guess ).

Anyway point is for the first time I thought, you know being single isn't all that bad. All the grief and misery I was getting 6 months ago, I have none of that at the moment! What you see from the outside is not there all the time, relationships can be a real pain in the ass! I'd always look to be back in one though but I shouldn't forget that there are plus sides to being your own person and being answerable to no one.

Oh yes I know what you mean.

If I see some bloke walking with a tribe on screaming kids and a woman who is calling him names, I think 'thank god I am not in his shoes !'

Alot of the trouble for me was when I was a teenager in the late 80's there wasn't an internet. I thought I was by myself. The only loser around. Everybody else was dating and I wasn't.

Of course now I know, loads of single people about, loads of poor people who haven't been on a single date in their lives.

---

Honestly, I get a bit jealous and sick at the same time with ones that gush over their new "love of their life". How long have you known each other? You've only been dating a week? WTF? Now when people have been together longer and still are so much in love, that's when I get jealous. Wish I could find that. :/

Women tend to go on and on about their new fella. They make them seem perfect, somebody like Brad Pitt. And then you get to see them and they don't seem that special. Just some normal bloke.

The thing I used to think when I was in my late teens / early twenties was 'when is it my turn ?' - when ?

I don't tend to think like that anymore.

 

[Lost Drifter]

Upon hearing that someone has a new partner in their lives my first reaction is akin to "You? Really? But you’re mean/racist/arrogant/smell of cabbage" and I walk away all the more confused. My second reaction is more envy at how easy they do it, I swear the "friends" do all the leg work with the "couple" just getting together afterwards, I wish I had friends that would hook me up with someone like that.

Like Okiedokes though I do tend to think "slow down before you crash" kids. I see a lot of younger couples rush head first into everything these days, I know it’s a lot about the impatience of youth but it seems that some couples are picking out baby names not long after their first date. Sure there comes a gush of excitement with a new romance but people need to be realistic too, all this nonsense about calming them to be the love of your life (or getting their names tattooed) within a couple of days is worrying.

I do know what you mean about feeling not been as good as everybody else though putter65. I often feel like the grunt, the person there to do the dirty work and move on to the next job with no concern about happiness and well-being, I’m not entitled to things like that. It’s like someone somewhere is cracking down that whip and telling me to move along and get back to work the second I start wanting things. Always on the outside looking in, always having to make do without ever being satisfied. It’s not so much that I want what others have but to have what I want if that makes sense. Like I’m not envious of the man with a wife and three kids because he has a wife and three kids, I’m envious because he seems to have what he wants while I’m still going without.

*CRACK*

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I feel a bit jealous that they're experiencing something I never have, but also feel good for them as well.

It's a mixture of emotions.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Well I can relate to being annoyed by the sudden celebration that most people seem to have once they "get together". Otherwise, it does not bother me much. Because people leave me alone when I make them awkward by not giving a damn.

 

[Peter Lorre]

I feel happy for them.

 

[Felix]

I too get jelly but that attitude will only hurt you.

Instead, what you do when jealous? rationalize!

Start thinking what that person did to get the girl or vice versa.

 

[Barbaloot]

I feel happy for them.

Me too.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

It's none of my business, and not of my interest. Though I sometimes feel frustrated and depressed when I see certain couples together. Just a spontaneous reaction.

And from it I would usually begin analysing the things couples do together, places they go, the overall atmosphere between them. And the actuality of having the woman you love at your side; someone to love and to be loved by. Then, I ponder on what it might be if I was in a relationship- as hard as that is to imagine- and it's strangely pathetic, while I somehow reject it.

 

[putter65]

It's none of my business, and not of my interest. Though I sometimes feel frustrated and depressed when I see certain couples together. Just a spontaneous reaction.

And from it I would usually begin analysing the things couples do together, places they go, the overall atmosphere between them. And the actuality of having the woman you love at your side; someone to love and to be loved by. Then, I ponder on what it might be if I was in a relationship- as hard as that is to imagine- and it's strangely pathetic, while I somehow reject it.

Xmas wasn't a great time for me. I had that fisaco with that woman who faked an holiday so she could be with someone else. While 2 people on my facebook annouced their engagements.

 

[VanillaCreme]

There's a problem when someone clings on to a person for the simple fact they don't want to be alone. You should care for and about someone and want to be with them for other reasons than not wanting to be lonely. If you don't have any real feelings for a person, there's no point.

 

[putter65]

It's none of my business, and not of my interest. Though I sometimes feel frustrated and depressed when I see certain couples together. Just a spontaneous reaction.

And from it I would usually begin analysing the things couples do together, places they go, the overall atmosphere between them. And the actuality of having the woman you love at your side; someone to love and to be loved by. Then, I ponder on what it might be if I was in a relationship- as hard as that is to imagine- and it's strangely pathetic, while I somehow reject it.

Xmas wasn't a great time for me. I had that fisaco with that woman who faked an holiday so she could be with someone else. While 2 people on my facebook annouced their engagements.

Another thing that gets on my nerves is when women say 'it's hard to meet a nice man' or 'there aren't many good ones about'

But I am right about how people get together. I see this time and time again. A woman is interested in a man, she tells all her friends and they tell him / give him hints etc and then the guy does something.

I think from 17 to now I just *********** myself. There was no interest from women, not much anyway. And because nothing happens, you make things up in your head. Start imagining stuff, making big deals about little things. Most advice I've got on forums is 'you can't see the interest from women. Your blind to it' - I know people want to be nice and try to encourage me but they were wrong. All they could see was words on a screen. They didn't know me, how I looked, how I sounded. I used this other forum for about 10 years and because I was fed up listening to people saying I was normal, I made this little video of myself talking and asked people if they wanted to see it. About 10 did. I expected people to say I was ugly but the feedback was way worse. They described me as looking like a 'serial killer' , said I was ugly, creepy, funny looking, miserable, awfull body language and demeener. My best friend on there said I looked 'average' and told me to smile more.

Anyway that was about 3 years ago and that was a low point. I have the feeling now of I look how I look, I sound like I sound. If people don't like me then it's there problem. I also worked at having the best personality possible. And I think I have achieved that to some degree. People seem to like me, accept me. Of course that doesn't mean women will be attracted to me.

That's why the date last year I had was like winning the lottery.

 

[MadMonkè]

There's a problem when someone clings on to a person for the simple fact they don't want to be alone. You should care for and about someone and want to be with them for other reasons than not wanting to be lonely. If you don't have any real feelings for a person, there's no point.

theres some good advice...
Relationships can dull out... but love should be motivation to stay together... not anything else.. unless its loneliness... no what am I saying... its easy to mix up tho...