how long is too long to wait for someone?

[priscella]

The original poster has deleted himself from this forum awhile back but the forum really tried to help him with our experiences.

 

[TheRealCallie]

The original poster has deleted himself from this forum awhile back but the forum really tried to help him with our experiences.

What are you talking about?  Azariah is still a member of the forum.

 

[priscella]

The original poster has deleted himself from this forum awhile back but the forum really tried to help him with our experiences.

What are you talking about?  Azariah is still a member of the forum.

Yesterday I checked the deleted members and if I am wrong I sure do apologize for the mistake..priscella

 

[priscella]

You will have to check because I can not find the delete section..maybe it was another name similar to his that I saw deleted with a date on it.. priscella

 

[priscella]

Well I sure hope he comes back to his thread because he had a lot of responses who cared about him so I guess people can still respond to this thread if he comes back.. So sorry I got that wrong I guess ...

 

[ardour]

The decision to disregard a person's choice of who they want to have in their life isn't healthy. I feel like some treat this almost like a game, if they just are persistent enough then they will earn and prove themselves as a valuable mate. It doesn't make any sense. 

Well, it's called mixed signals. Probably not in this case, although I doubt we are getting even half of the real story. It's much more fun to make up the missing information like being a stalker. But, I used to think that when someone said no to me that was it and I was out of there. Later, a couple women asked why I gave up so easily. I thought WTF? You said you where done with me. So I left. You didn't call me back. They said they wanted me to fight for them so they knew that I REALLY loved them. Again, I thought WTF?

Can attest to this. Something similar happened recently. But ignoring 'no' comes with too many risks for a man. At the very least you risk losing yourself and any sense of pride. Then there's the risk of being bad-mouthed as a stalker if you misread the situation. Women who make dating an obstacle course full of stupid games are more trouble than they're worth.

 

[Azariah]

Honestly all these years of waiting got me got me feeling tired.

I've opened my door and she's welcome to step in anytime. Her door is closed so I can't barge my way in. I've knocked and im done knocking. I can't force love to happen but I'm still leaving my door open for her. No more messages or poems from me.

 

[priscella]

anybody would feel tired and just eat something good and listen to your pretty music...

 

[lucybrighton]

Ahhh, difficult situation nevertheless a beautiful feeling to like someone unconditionally. But sometimes there are certain human/basic gestures that you expect and when you don't get that back it could be heartbreaking. You could consider these following actions:
1) Talk to the person and express whatever you feel. But as someone pointed in the comment section, it could break the fantasy bubble.
2) To continue the fantasy and live your life unaffected. You can always love the person but consider looking for a person to live with.
3) If it is something that has been running in the back of your mind for long and kinda bothers you, I think you'll have to forget and move past. A rejection actually helps move forward, so the option again would be try and talk to he person.

 

[Azariah]

Id rather her be blunt and tell me she does not like me than for her to just keep silent. But that's exactly what she does.

 

[WanderingInTheWoods]

I rather have someone tell me I am wasting my time, than try to lead me on. Leading anyone on will just hurt them in the end. I've had it happen to me and it sucks. This is why I love it when people are honest with me.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I rather have someone tell me I am wasting my time, than try to lead me on. Leading anyone on will just hurt them in the end. I've had it happen to me and it sucks. This is why I love it when people are honest with me.

I seriously doubt this is a situation where he is being lead on.

 

[Finished]

Well, this scenario has blossomed into more then the original post. So, at this point, the original poster is the victim and everybody else involved should be punished.

 

[Just Games]

Honestly all these years of waiting got me got me feeling tired.

I've opened my door and she's welcome to step in anytime. Her door is closed so I can't barge my way in. I've knocked and im done knocking. I can't force love to happen but I'm still leaving my door open for her. No more messages or poems from me.

Peoms?Ok sheds a bit more light on it.Didnt realise that.Im ejecting from this thread then.

 

[Winter Fire]

Did you grow up with emotional neglect? I'm asking because you have a fantasy bond with unrequited love. Maybe you should work on your childhood traumas. Because it doesn't matter if you totally forget this person. She will be replaced with another unrequited love. You should eliminate the root cause of this problem. I know you don't think it's a problem but it's a problem.

 

[Azariah]

Would if I could...


...would if I could.

 

[Myra]

(I didn't read the whole thread)

You're not "waiting" for her, because you should know by now that she doesn't give a flying crap about you. If you respected that then you wouldn't use the word "waiting".  Respect that she's moved on with her life and you aren't wanted in it. Learn to respect boundaries and choices.  If someone makes it clear (e.g. by ignoring all your messages) that they aren't interested in you being in their life, you got to accept it. You can't just disrespect her choice and think it will change in your favour just because you want it to. You can't just send unwanted messages to her just because it feels good to you to pop into her life against her will with a creepy message. She isn't interested, period. If you think you are "waiting" it means you haven't accepted her boundaries and her feelings about you. I know I'm speaking harsh words. But you must come to terms with that she simply doesn't give a damn about you and never will.

 

[Azariah]

If you're trying to discourage me... try harder.

 

[Azariah]

I think im ok without her now. Ive lost touch with reality.

 

[Myra]

yay