How much of an age gap would you be willing to date?

[Alonewith2cats]

I thought this would be a fun topic to explore. I am 40 and still attracted to younger men but I have what I consider to be a reasonable rule. I'm not ruling out the possibility of dating outside this boundary if it really is true love, whatever that is, but I don't think I should date anyone young enough to be my son and certainly not old enough to be my father. But there are different ways to define this. I could biologically mother someone as much as 13 years younger than me because a 13 year old girl can physically have children so by these standards a 27 year old man is too young for me. I have also heard of the formula, take half your age and add 7 and that is the youngest you can date, the minimum age requirement. So by these standards I can date a 27 year old. But I prefer them to be at least 30. 35 would be nice but I want to be open-minded.

I just got a message from a 26 year old on OK Cupid.
"How's it going? UR cute."

Flattered, I wrote back "Thank you. It's going good. You are really young. I don't want to be a cradle robber but we can chat. I'm always open to making new friends."

Feel free to post your opinions about age gap dating and relationships. I'm curious about what people here think and have to say about it. Post away.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Late 30's to mid 50's for me but I'm more interested in spirit and enthusiasm than a chronological number. Any age works if she's a mute, built, nympho who owns a Harley dealership....

On that note I'm going to bed before I say anything else of a stupid nature...

 

[78109guy]

Well hello there. I am new to the site and as it goes, this happens to be my first post. To get an idea of where i am coming from; i am a male, 32 years old and single. Let me just say that you are correct on the "not wanting to be a cradle robber" aspect of things. I have myself been 10 years older and 10 years younger of my own age and have found the younger folks to be younger, as in immature. Not to say that i wouldn't try again and there are always exceptions, but i would be hesitant towards the younger people. Just my two bits, hopefully it helps in some way or shape

 

[Alonewith2cats]

I also think that usually the reason these significantly younger men message 40 year old women is because they think of them as being so much more experienced in sex and that is really what they're looking for, a sexual encounter, booty call, not a relationship. I actually had a quick trip there, I don't want to go there again. It was last year, I was 39, a 29 year old messaged me on OK Cupid. I met him in public, had coffee and pizza with him, should have then gone straight home but I stepped outside my character which is not to have sex with anyone I'm not in a relationship with, we ended up going to my place to "cuddle" as I hadn't had any physical contact with anyone for a long time and he was good looking. Of course, cuddling was not his intention, we had sex and then I decided never to see him again because I cannot respect anyone who wouldn't be interested in me as a human being as I really am very interested in human beings and am beyond this BS. Anyway, please don't judge me. It was outside my character. We used a condom. I take full responsibility for my actions and have corrected forward not to do this again and I rejected all further advances from him and blocked him on OK Cupid.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Well hello there. I am new to the site and as it goes, this happens to be my first post. To get an idea of where i am coming from; i am a male, 32 years old and single. Let me just say that you are correct on the "not wanting to be a cradle robber" aspect of things. I have myself been 10 years older and 10 years younger of my own age and have found the younger folks to be younger, as in immature. Not to say that i wouldn't try again and there are always exceptions, but i would be hesitant towards the younger people. Just my two bits, hopefully it helps in some way or shape

Welcome to the forum, Guy.

I'd have to guess about ten years on either side of my current age is likely who I'd fit with most, but there are always exceptions.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

So this 26 year old just messaged me back on OK Cupid, "Age is just a number. Let me make you feel young again." I really don't know right how I'm going to respond to that or if I should respond. I'll have to think about it.

 

[ringwood]

I say there shouldn't be any hard and fast rules when it comes to dating and age. It's completely up to the two people involved in the relationship and whether they are happy and comfortable together, despite age differences - beyond that, it's nobody else's business. Of course, people tend to make it their business, especially when there's a pretty large difference between ages, so make sure you feel secure in your relationship and prepared for the careless comments that people may make. Case in point: myself. I've always loved older men, and one of my best friends ever is a man I dated in my late twenties - he was in his 60's at the time. We did get a lot of 'wow, robbing the cradle there, aren't you?" and snickering comments from friends, "Ummm, isn't he a little old for you?" type of crap.

 

[TheSkaFish]

First off, I'm not trying to advise you or anyone else what you should do in this situation because that is, of course, always up to you and what you feel you are comfortable with. I can't and don't speak for anyone but myself. But if I met someone attractive and with an interesting and fun personality, I wouldn't throw the opportunity away just because of a major age difference. Who knows. They could really be someone wonderful and it could be the chance of a lifetime.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

I wouldn't throw away an opportunity to get to know someone wonderful because of an age gap either but on the internet I tend to chicken out because I'm afraid all they want to do is get into my pants and I'm probably right.

 

[kamya]

20-45. I'm 25.

Age difference doesn't really matter to me as long as things work out.

 

[OnlyMe]

I'm 36 (male)

I'll say 22-38 years old although realistically, I know that 22 is probably too young.

However it's an honest answer as I currently have strong feelings for a woman (co-worker) who is 22.

Some people say that it's an ego / status thing when older guys want to date younger women.

It's definitely not the reason in my case, it's just that I've always found myself attracted to younger females.

First off, I'm not trying to advise you or anyone else what you should do in this situation because that is, of course, always up to you and what you feel you are comfortable with. I can't and don't speak for anyone but myself. But if I met someone attractive and with an interesting and fun personality, I wouldn't throw the opportunity away just because of a major age difference. Who knows. They could really be someone wonderful and it could be the chance of a lifetime.

Excellent post.

 

[Triple Bogey]

35 to 60

 

[Regumika]

While age is just a number, and it's about maturity/experience/love... recently I have thought about this factor with age..

Someone is going to die 'a lot' sooner than the other, of old age. Is that fair to the other person?

 

[kamya]

While age is just a number, and it's about maturity/experience/love... recently I have thought about this factor with age..

Someone is going to die 'a lot' sooner than the other, of old age. Is that fair to the other person?

I'm sure if you asked the surviving spouse if they would rather go back in time and go after someone else, they probably wouldn't.

 

[Peaches]

also, women live much longer than men, in most cases

 

[Mike510]

I am 24 I would probably say 21-35

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

It usually depends with me; if someone is mature, has similar interests with me, share the same views on life.

19-35 is my age limit.

I'm willing dating younger and people close to my age. Very open minded and don't judge people by their age.
Age is just a number in my book: but they have to be legal of course.

 

[ardour]

You're kidding yourselves if you think differences in life experience aren't going to matter.
For anyone about to turn 35, dating a 22 year old is time wasted, it's unlikely to work and the time with that person could have been spent looking for someone else.

 

[OnlyMe]

You're kidding yourselves if you think differences in life experience aren't going to matter.
For anyone about to turn 35, dating a 22 year old is time wasted, it's unlikely to work and the time with that person could have been spent looking for someone else.

As a general rule you are probably right.

However it really does depend on the individuals involved, their level of maturity, intelligence and what they want from life.

The girl I mentioned in my previous post who is only 22 is already well on her way to saving the deposit to buy a home.

whereas some of the women I work with who are in their 30's or older still struggle to get by week to week.

Also there are some who despite their real age would have a younger 'life experience' age.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I don't believe that age is an indication of anything. You can't exactly choose who you fall in love with and there's nothing saying that love only happens to people who are close in age. It can happen with anyone, regardless of age, shape, gender, race, whatever.

However, just because it can happen anywhere, doesn't always mean it will. Should you give up the opportunity to explore a relationship or have run just because of an age gap? If it doesn't bother him, why should it bother you?

You're kidding yourselves if you think differences in life experience aren't going to matter.
For anyone about to turn 35, dating a 22 year old is time wasted, it's unlikely to work and the time with that person could have been spent looking for someone else.

My grandparents were 18 years apart in age. They were together for a LONG time and they were very happy together.
I also have a friend who is married to a man twice her age. They are also very happy together.
I know quite a few other people that also have quite the age gap between them and their significant other.