How much of an age gap would you be willing to date?

[Triple Bogey]

this customer at work had this crush on me. She was 89, a bit too old !

 

[Tiina63]

I would date someone up to five years younger than me and up to 15 years older than me.

 

[Tulip23]

this customer at work had this crush on me. She was 89, a bit too old !

LOL

 

[Alonewith2cats]

I would date someone up to five years younger than me and up to 15 years older than me.

Interesting. I have a preference for men up to 10 years younger than me to up to 5 years older than me, age 30 to 45. I'm borderline cougar.

---

I don't believe that age is an indication of anything. You can't exactly choose who you fall in love with and there's nothing saying that love only happens to people who are close in age. It can happen with anyone, regardless of age, shape, gender, race, whatever.

However, just because it can happen anywhere, doesn't always mean it will. Should you give up the opportunity to explore a relationship or have run just because of an age gap? If it doesn't bother him, why should it bother you?

You're kidding yourselves if you think differences in life experience aren't going to matter.
For anyone about to turn 35, dating a 22 year old is time wasted, it's unlikely to work and the time with that person could have been spent looking for someone else.

My grandparents were 18 years apart in age. They were together for a LONG time and they were very happy together.
I also have a friend who is married to a man twice her age. They are also very happy together.
I know quite a few other people that also have quite the age gap between them and their significant other.

I like what you're saying. It's encouraging to remove barriers and limits when seeking love. It's important to do that. Regarding if it doesn't bother him why should it bother me? Well, it wouldn't bother me at all if the guy is sincere and genuinely interested but what does bother me are these much younger guys on the internet who pursue lonely, older women like me only for the sake of getting into their panties. That is what I find offensive. The problem with so many younger men is they just don't want to have a relationship. But turning 40 hasn't changed what I'm attracted to. I still find myself more attracted to younger men than older men. It's frustrating. But so many people tell me I don't look 40, I look like I'm in my early 30s so I guess I can go younger.

 

[jaguarundi]

AW2Cats wrote

But so many people tell me I don't look 40, I look like I'm in my early 30s so I guess I can go younger.

Sorry there m'dear, and I think you don't wquite mean how it sounds (I hope) but how is this about how you look? Being with someone isn't about how old you look, but how old you are in spirit, yes?

I have had my cougar days, and dated a guy who was just 23 when I was 39. It wasn't about looks, we clicked in a great way and I would never, ever describe our time together as wasted. Also it was not about booty calls - he was a lovely guy, he liked that I knew what I wanted, and I liked that he was the ONLY guy I ever met who would fetch me a cuppa, and massage my feet without asking, when I came home from a day of ****** meetings in my heels and suit....

Thing is, when he wanted us to go out as a couple and meet his friends, and some of them had girlfriends who were just finishing up in high-school........ I couldn't do it to him. He deserved a nice girl who wanted his kids and everything a balanced couple should have, so I finished it before he - and I - became too attached. I hope he has everything he wants, and I learned as much from him as I hope he ever did from me.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I ... dated a guy who was just 23 when I was 39. It wasn't about looks, we clicked in a great way and I would never, ever describe our time together as wasted. Also it was not about booty calls - he was a lovely guy....

^^ Me too. Well, the ages were slightly different, but similar situation.
It only lasted a few months, but he was great and we're still friends. Like you, Jag, I also hope he finds contentment in life.

 

[ShybutHi]

I think in the end it is about personality and how well you click with the other person. Age shouldn't matter so much... As someone said it is possible that you may get negative comments but who cares, it is not their life nor their relationship.
I am 27 and see myself as a fairly mature guy who likes interesting conversation, history, visiting places and such, someone who is very laid back, so I get on well with more mature types of people. The upper age range for that reason for me is probably a bit higher than a lot of guys so it is about 18-40.

 

[jaguarundi]

Eve wrote

^^ Me too. Well, the ages were slightly different, but similar situation.
It only lasted a few months, but he was great and we're still friends. Like you, Jag, I also hope he finds contentment in life.

I didn't stay in touch with him, but I truly hope he is happy. I haven't thought of him in a long time, so it was good to remember him because of this thread. Glad you had a taste of someone nice like that Eve, and that you are still friends!

 

[9006]

It depends on the person, age really IS just a number (unless it's illegal or whatever; that's different) and does not represent that person entirely. You can connect with someone at almost any age really, weather it's feasible depends on many aspects of the situation.

 

[nerdygirl]

The thing about a large age difference is that you are usually at different points in life. As we age, it isn't such a big deal- for example I think it's fine for a 51 year old person to date a 41 year old... but I'm bothered by a 31 year old with 21 year old. The 21 year old is at Point A while the 31 year old is at Point B. Sure, there's always an exception to this. However, I don't think it's that common. This isn't just about maturity. It's about life experiences. Either one person has to skip ahead or one has to wait around. One or both people end up sacrificing experiences they would have had if they'd been with somebody their own age. I realize that at that time, the people in that relationship don't mind at all. However, I think that sooner or later, a lot of those people would feel regret, and possibly resentment. This is especially true if things don't work out.

Anyway, I just turned 36. I think that if I was open to dating, my age range would be about 5 or 6 years in either direction.

 

[ardour]

The thing about a large age difference is that you are usually at different points in life. As we age, it isn't such a big deal- for example I think it's fine for a 51 year old person to date a 41 year old... but I'm bothered by a 31 year old with 21 year old. The 21 year old is at Point A while the 31 year old is at Point B. Sure, there's always an exception to this. However, I don't think it's that common. This isn't just about maturity. It's about life experiences. Either one person has to skip ahead or one has to wait around. One or both people end up sacrificing experiences they would have had if they'd been with somebody their own age. I realize that at that time, the people in that relationship don't mind at all. However, I think that sooner or later, a lot of those people would feel regret, and possibly resentment. This is especially true if things don't work out.

Anyway, I just turned 36. I think that if I was open to dating, my age range would be about 5 or 6 years in either direction.

That about sums up what I think.

 

[ladyforsaken]

AW2Cats wrote

But so many people tell me I don't look 40, I look like I'm in my early 30s so I guess I can go younger.

Sorry there m'dear, and I think you don't wquite mean how it sounds (I hope) but how is this about how you look? Being with someone isn't about how old you look, but how old you are in spirit, yes?

I have had my cougar days, and dated a guy who was just 23 when I was 39. It wasn't about looks, we clicked in a great way and I would never, ever describe our time together as wasted. Also it was not about booty calls - he was a lovely guy, he liked that I knew what I wanted, and I liked that he was the ONLY guy I ever met who would fetch me a cuppa, and massage my feet without asking, when I came home from a day of ****** meetings in my heels and suit....

Thing is, when he wanted us to go out as a couple and meet his friends, and some of them had girlfriends who were just finishing up in high-school........ I couldn't do it to him. He deserved a nice girl who wanted his kids and everything a balanced couple should have, so I finished it before he - and I - became too attached. I hope he has everything he wants, and I learned as much from him as I hope he ever did from me.

jag, I totally respect you, cool lady

 

[Alonewith2cats]

I just met someone on OK Cupid who is 6 years younger than me. He is 34, 6 year age difference, this is more the age range I'm going for. So far he seems pretty cool. He is from India and highly values kindness and compassion. That speaks maturity. We have a coffee date this Sunday. We'll see how it goes.

 

[jaguarundi]

I just met someone on OK Cupid who is 6 years younger than me. He is 34, 6 year age difference, this is more the age range I'm going for. So far he seems pretty cool. He is from India and highly values kindness and compassion. That speaks maturity. We have a coffee date this Sunday. We'll see how it goes.

Sounds a very good plan to me! Best of luck to you.

 

[Tulip23]

I just met someone on OK Cupid who is 6 years younger than me. He is 34, 6 year age difference, this is more the age range I'm going for. So far he seems pretty cool. He is from India and highly values kindness and compassion. That speaks maturity. We have a coffee date this Sunday. We'll see how it goes.

Good luck Hope it goes well

 

[Alonewith2cats]

Thank you.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I just met someone on OK Cupid who is 6 years younger than me. He is 34, 6 year age difference, this is more the age range I'm going for. So far he seems pretty cool. He is from India and highly values kindness and compassion. That speaks maturity. We have a coffee date this Sunday. We'll see how it goes.

Good luck and hope you have fun.

 

[lonelyfairy]

It usually depends with me; if someone is mature, has similar interests with me, share the same views on life.

19-35 is my age limit.

I'm willing dating younger and people close to my age. Very open minded and don't judge people by their age.
Age is just a number in my book: but they have to be legal of course.

^ This! I agree that age is just a number. What matters the most, is the connection and love between two individuals.

 

[sk66rc]

I'm now 43 so this was about 10+ years back... I've dated a lady who was 28 years older than I was... She & I had our birthdays in same month, January... A week after I turned 32, she turned 60... You wanna talk about the oldest cliché, age is just a number...!!! Her youngest daughter was 2 years older than I was... Over all, we've dated for about 2 years & the reason why it didn't last has nothing to do with our age difference... I've always been attracted to older women but that's not to say I'm not attracted to younger girls at all... Youngest girl I'd date would be no more than 15 years younger... I haven't really thought of upper limits of the age...

 

[Cavey]

I think age matters much more when you're younger. Speaking as someone about to reach the big 40, I'd be willing to consider a relationship with anyone aged between 30 and 50. I may be willing to break that, but it would take someone that's absolutely perfect in order for me to do that.