How to find a mate when socially awkward

[Barbaloot]

Maybe then, TSM, the OP and even Lonely, I should set a challenge to you to talk to at least 3 women who are also total strangers this week. Theraab has some pretty good suggestions. Give it a try, it won't kill you, and the more you do it, the easier it will be in the future.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Maybe then, TSM, the OP and even Lonely, I should set a challenge to you to talk to at least 3 women who are also total strangers this week. Theraab has some pretty good suggestions. Give it a try, it won't kill you, and the more you do it, the easier it will be in the future.

Hmmm, what constitutes talking? A greeting, or a full conversation? Just need to know the parameters of this challenge before I attempt it

 

[Barbaloot]

Maybe then, TSM, the OP and even Lonely, I should set a challenge to you to talk to at least 3 women who are also total strangers this week. Theraab has some pretty good suggestions. Give it a try, it won't kill you, and the more you do it, the easier it will be in the future.

Hmmm, what constitutes talking? A greeting, or a full conversation? Just need to know the parameters of this challenge before I attempt it

A conversation that lasts longer than 5 minutes.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

A conversation that lasts longer than 5 minutes.

With a stranger? Holy crap. Well, I'll try, but I fully expect to be glared at like a madman many a time, lol

 

[Barbaloot]

A conversation that lasts longer than 5 minutes.

With a stranger? Holy crap. Well, I'll try, but I fully expect to be glared at like a madman many a time, lol

You can do it. Just be friendly, engaging and smile. The worst that can happen is they won't reciprocate. We'll all be so proud of you if you do it. <3

 

[LonelyInAtl]

A conversation that lasts longer than 5 minutes.

I actually did this last night. A woman and I were comparing the gift baskets we won in the fund raiser raffle.

However, I was a bit tipsy at the time.

 

[theraab]

A conversation that lasts longer than 5 minutes.

I actually did this last night. A woman and I were comparing the gift baskets we won in the fund raiser raffle.

However, I was a bit tipsy at the time.

Good job! Hey, maybe you're like Raj from The Big Bang Theory - super smart but can't talk to women unless is drinking. To quote the late great John Belushi, "My advice to you is to start drinking heavily".

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

I met other socially awkward people!

The thing about those people is that they were receptive to having me in their life.
I was just friendly and attractive, and they seemed unique and interesting. And attractive. So we talked and found out we had a lot in common (similar tastes in culture, music, or else were just curious about learning as much as we could about things, including the others culture, music, books, genitals, etc). We made plans to hang out for coffee and wink wink, nudge nudge, dessert!

 

[Walley]

* rubs my eyes... did you say genitals?
i'm sorry, after reading that i totaly forgot what this thread was about ;p

 

[IgnoredOne]

Yeah.

 

[putter65]

Maybe then, TSM, the OP and even Lonely, I should set a challenge to you to talk to at least 3 women who are also total strangers this week. Theraab has some pretty good suggestions. Give it a try, it won't kill you, and the more you do it, the easier it will be in the future.

Hmmm, what constitutes talking? A greeting, or a full conversation? Just need to know the parameters of this challenge before I attempt it

A conversation that lasts longer than 5 minutes.

that would be hard with a stranger.

Mission impossible

 

[LonelyInAtl]

that would be hard with a stranger.

Mission impossible

I did it Saturday night.

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

* rubs my eyes... did you say genitals?
i'm sorry, after reading that i totaly forgot what this thread was about ;p

The thread was about how to find potential mates. Mates have genitals, usually. Ppl can get all awkward and not pay attention, knowing this. ;p

 

[Barbaloot]

that would be hard with a stranger.

Mission impossible

I did it Saturday night.

Good job.

How did it go?


(and see, it can be done)

 

[putter65]

that would be hard with a stranger.

Mission impossible

I did it Saturday night.

well done !

I'm off work this week and rather than stay in and listen to my Dad moaning, I went to this other city to take some photographs. (This is becoming my new hobby !) - anyway I went on train, got there and walked around the city for a few hours taking photo's. I never spoke to anybody. A few people in shops when I was buying stuff but that was it.

I tripped on a curb and this woman said 'opps' so I said 'opps' back and then walked away. Coming home a few people asked me where the train was going so I told them. But that was it. I just do not start conversations with random people. My mother talks to anybody so I am nothing like her.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

that would be hard with a stranger.

Mission impossible

I did it Saturday night.

Good job.

How did it go?


(and see, it can be done)

It was just a casual conversation. We both won items in the raffle at a fundraiser for Angels Among Us and were comparing what we had won.

I was a wee bit tipsy though.

 

[ardour]

That's simply not true. I've never known a serious couple that met each other at a bar or a party. They met each other because they didn't stay at home on their computer every night complaining about how shallow the opposite sex is.

So where DID they meet? The laundromat? The grocery store? Starbucks?

I think the OP was referring to getting out in general, not just parties or bars.

It's a valid question, and not well answered.

Where, if not in some dump that stinks of alcopops.

Interrupt in a pottery class or book group? Supermarket? Just park yourself at their cafe table?

A women starting a random conversation in most public places would make the average guy uneasy, so imagine it from their perspective.

 

[putter65]

that would be hard with a stranger.

Mission impossible

I did it Saturday night.

Good job.

How did it go?


(and see, it can be done)

It was just a casual conversation. We both won items in the raffle at a fundraiser for Angels Among Us and were comparing what we had won.

I was a wee bit tipsy though.

drinking helps most people open up and gain confidence.

It doesn't help me though. When I have drank in the past, I have got depressed, withdrawn and quiet. That's why I don't drink.

 

[Barbaloot]

That's simply not true. I've never known a serious couple that met each other at a bar or a party. They met each other because they didn't stay at home on their computer every night complaining about how shallow the opposite sex is.

So where DID they meet? The laundromat? The grocery store? Starbucks?

I think the OP was referring to getting out in general, not just parties or bars.

It's a valid question, and not well answered.

Where, if not in some dump that stinks of alcopops.

Interrupt in a pottery class or book group? Supermarket? Just park yourself at their cafe table?

A women starting a random conversation in most public places would make the average guy uneasy, so imagine it from their perspective.

I am pretty sure I *did* answer it. They met everywhere people are. And Putter *did* suggest, based on what the OP asked, that if one cannot meet a mate at a bar or a party they simply don't meet. So where did the couples I know meet? Work, social and activity clubs, the grocery store, mass transit systems, through mutual friends, cafes, because, get this - they just went up to the other person and started talking to them.

Echoing what I said before, they didn't meet each other by drawing out threads on a forum about why they can't meet women, why everyone's suggestions are invalid, why this or that is impossible, they just went out did it. And that is the difference.

At least TSM and Lonely try.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

At least TSM and Lonely try.

Well, what happened Saturday was well outside the norm for me. LOL Sometimes I can start a conversation over some common ground, but it never gets any farther than just casual conversation.