How to find a mate when socially awkward

[Barbaloot]

At least TSM and Lonely try.

Well, what happened Saturday was well outside the norm for me. LOL Sometimes I can start a conversation over some common ground, but it never gets any farther than just casual conversation.

Make it the norm and stop holding yourself back.

 

[putter65]

At least TSM and Lonely try.

Well, what happened Saturday was well outside the norm for me. LOL Sometimes I can start a conversation over some common ground, but it never gets any farther than just casual conversation.

keep at it and something may happen

 

[LonelyInAtl]

At least TSM and Lonely try.

Well, what happened Saturday was well outside the norm for me. LOL Sometimes I can start a conversation over some common ground, but it never gets any farther than just casual conversation.

Make it the norm and stop holding yourself back.

Then I'd have to be tipsy and win something at a raffle every weekend.

 

[Bones]

Before I stopped drinking, it was a lot easier to meet people because I was not as inhibited - I also miss being younger and going out dancing because i would meet people that way too, but it required drinking as well - after removing all the "fun" in my life, I am a hermit extraordinaire.

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Then I'd have to be tipsy and win something at a raffle every weekend.

 

[Fragile]

I've met people in school, on the net and in "group livings"? What's it called in english?

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I tried out this "talking to strangers" thing today XD

Sat with a girl in the library, after about 20 mins I noticed she had a load of papers covered in writing everywhere and I asked what course she was doing. She seemed sort of surprised but then told me about what she was studying.

She was a foreign student and she explained that she writes so many notes because she finds it easier to interpret English when she describes it with her own vocabulary.

Although we didn't share names, she made a point of talking to me a little more after that and even asked if she could borrow some paper from me.

One thing that hit me was that often I can sit right next to someone, and I always feel I must keep staring at the table/my work instead of looking towards them. I do this in classes too.

However, after talking to her I felt I could just look over or get her attention without feeling "guilty" or "weird". It was like an invisible barrier disappeared o_0

 

[Barbaloot]

I tried out this "talking to strangers" thing today XD

Sat with a girl in the library, after about 20 mins I noticed she had a load of papers covered in writing everywhere and I asked what course she was doing. She seemed sort of surprised but then told me about what she was studying.

She was a foreign student and she explained that she writes so many notes because she finds it easier to interpret English when she describes it with her own vocabulary.

Although we didn't share names, she made a point of talking to me a little more after that and even asked if she could borrow some paper from me.

One thing that hit me was that often I can sit right next to someone, and I always feel I must keep staring at the table/my work instead of looking towards them. I do this in classes too.

However, after talking to her I felt I could just look over or get her attention without feeling "guilty" or "weird". It was like an invisible barrier disappeared o_0

Yay TSM. Way to go. Maybe if you see her again, you should ask her what her name is.

 

[theraab]

I tried out this "talking to strangers" thing today XD

Sat with a girl in the library, after about 20 mins I noticed she had a load of papers covered in writing everywhere and I asked what course she was doing. She seemed sort of surprised but then told me about what she was studying.

She was a foreign student and she explained that she writes so many notes because she finds it easier to interpret English when she describes it with her own vocabulary.

Although we didn't share names, she made a point of talking to me a little more after that and even asked if she could borrow some paper from me.

One thing that hit me was that often I can sit right next to someone, and I always feel I must keep staring at the table/my work instead of looking towards them. I do this in classes too.

However, after talking to her I felt I could just look over or get her attention without feeling "guilty" or "weird". It was like an invisible barrier disappeared o_0

Awesome. Very glad to hear this.

 

[SophiaGrace]

1.) Spin your social awkwardness into something that's cutely awkward
2.) Be happy with the success you find with this strategy.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

1.) Spin your social awkwardness into something that's cutely awkward

Examples?

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

1.) Spin your social awkwardness into something that's cutely awkward

Examples?

I think Soph means there's the sort of "Hey, I'mma say something really socially inappropriate, lol" awkward, and then there's "I really, really like you but I'm kind of shy" awkward. The latter is the positive epitome of awkwardness, the former is not

It is weird though, the more I think about it, the more I somehow feel like I'm not "allowed" to talk to people. Isn't it bizarre? It's like some sort of thing in me I've never noticed before. I didn't used to feel so restrained either, I don't know what brought it on.

I wonder if I feel like I talk to people more than I actually do. I can't actually remember the last time I just talked to someone for 10 minutes straight.

Edit - I have to say though, I do feel like actually asking someone out is an insurmountable obstacle. I've been trying for 5 years and yet it never feels to me like a girl would say yes. Even if she did, I don't know what to do on a date. So I guess it's a pretty deep rooted problem

 

[LonelyInAtl]

Edit - I have to say though, I do feel like actually asking someone out is an insurmountable obstacle. I've been trying for 5 years and yet it never feels to me like a girl would say yes. Even if she did, I don't know what to do on a date. So I guess it's a pretty deep rooted problem

I'm the same way, except that if I ever got said "Yes" to I have plenty of ideas. Some of them, while not appropriate for a first date (more for after you're in a relationship) are pretty amazing. I guess that's one of the advantages of being established in your career and making good money. Now I just need someone to spend it on. LOL

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I'm the same way, except that if I ever got said "Yes" to I have plenty of ideas. Some of them, while not appropriate for a first date (more for after you're in a relationship) are pretty amazing. I guess that's one of the advantages of being established in your career and making good money. Now I just need someone to spend it on. LOL

Oh, I've got loads of ideas too. I just meant when I actually think of being on a date, I can't even imagine the sort of stuff I would talk about. I guess it probably comes more easily when you're actually there...I hope.

I used to do basic illusions every now and then ages ago, I'd love to do a little bit of a date around that. I can do lots of flirty magic tricks, I've just never showed anyone because I'm too shy, lol :shy:

 

[ardour]

deleted

 

[Will8285]

I've met quit a few women on ski lifts. I hate bars and parties and am socially awkward as well, but have a healthy list of hobbies which have lead me to meet many interesting women. When I was getting certified to scuba dive I met a beautiful woman taking the class alone (like me). One time rock climbing indoors I met a woman. Anyways I'm sure you get the picture, even if the woman is not single, I'm sure she has friends that are.

 

[shelbydanielle]

just being honest, there are many other places other than bars and clubs. there are parks, libraries, universities, coffee shops, poetry/cooking/etc classes, lakes. just put yourself out there and dont stress, if you see a lonely blonde sitting on a park bench just sit beside her, say "hi there, im ____, i saw you from over there and you looked like you could use some company. how are ya?" and smile. if you are relaxed and dont feel pressured, it will go great, pinky promise!

if you want a GOOD girl meet her in a GOOD place

just my opinion, hope i helped!

shell (a girl who wouldn't mind company if i were lonely)