How Would You React To Catching Your Significant Other In Bed With Someone Else?

[LoneKiller]

I think we all can agree that this is an emotional discussion and is tense. Regardless of which gender we refer to, one fact still remains. None of us can truly know the motives of someone who has been betrayed in such a manor. That's why we as humans are alike. We can't read each other's minds or ever truly know what to expect from a person who has experienced this.

Many have killed themselves after being cheated on. Others have murdered the cheating duo with a shotgun blast. Some remain silent and just cry every day over it. Others have needed psychiatric counselling to get better. Whether we are talking about men or women, we all share one thing. We are all human.

---

Lone. Any kneejerk vindictive reaction is wrong. I understand you were upset, but why persist at all. You're much better off cutting your losses in the event of a cheat. There's been case studies that people are predisposed to cheat, a gene that can cause that behavior. Some people may be die hard loyal, but most are not. You cannot allow one persons shallow action to have that kind of control over you.

It may hurt for a bit, it may make u steam when u lay down at night, but you can never let that get the best of you. Just suck it up and move on. How old are you lone

Eve, I didn't think there was anything said that was horrible, certainly no direct assult on any individual at all. It's just a well versed mans opinion and if it offended anybody I apologize, but that doesn't change my opinion I'll just keep
it to myself

I'm 37yo

 

[monkeysocks]

To actually catch them in bed - horrific !. I figure that first you must be in shock, Then real anger sets in.

I really think its the ultimate betrayal and worse than bereavement because if your partner dies - they can't help that.

When someone cheats and you find them in bed with someone else can they hurt you anymore ?, leaving you with that vivid picture in your mind and especially if its in your own home.

I was cheated on, very hurtful as my son was only 4 months old, didn't catch them but he rubbed my nose in it while it was going on.

But in the end once you are over it you realise that you haven't lost anything if someone would do that to you. But hey I had a great time gently snipping all the buttons on all his clothes so that when he did them up they would all fall off ! After all he had a weird phobia about lose buttons. When he complained I said ''well as she is so wonderful ask her to sow them all back on.''


An old friend did catch her boyfriend in bed with another - what she said to them when she caught them was genius

'' Oh another one !.........are you going to give her herpes as well''

The greatest double whammy and humiliation is greater than pain

 

[LoneKiller]

lol @ cutting buttons off.

 

[monkeysocks]

Well I had to chose something I couldn't be arrested for LOL !

 

[LoneKiller]

Could you imagine his reaction if those were like $200 Georgio Armani shirts? lol

 

[monkeysocks]

Well no, but the same 'snips' at the designer jacket lining went down like a lead balloon - he went mental . LOL

Well I had just had his baby ! and he had told me he wouldn't be back that nite because he was taking his mistress for a meal . It was insulting and like mental torture while he stayed out that night - but glad I did it because I can look back and laugh about it instead of just remembering rejection.

 

[LoneKiller]

Well no, but the same 'snips' at the designer jacket lining went down like a lead balloon - he went mental . LOL

Well I had just had his baby ! and he had told me he wouldn't be back that nite because he was taking his mistress for a meal . It was insulting and like mental torture while he stayed out that night - but glad I did it because I can look back and laugh about it instead of just remembering rejection.

That is a very positive and mature way to look at it.

 

[monkeysocks]

Thank you Lonekiller - well they do say 'who laughs last laughs longest' : D

 

[A_T_Swordsman]

Hm...
I'd probably leave the situation. Go Home and scream into my pillow and maybe punch the wall a couple of times. After I had re-composed myself:
I would then confront my Significant Other about what happened, asking them to explain their intentions. What happens after that would depend upon their response. If it was a one time deal, and they want to remain together or something, I would probably have a long and hard discussion with them and the end result to that is anyone's guess.
If they wished to end our relationship I would tell them ok, but ask them that if they fall out of interest in another relationship, that they break up with the guy before doing something like this to that future person.

As for whomever they were with, I could care less. They can do whatever they so choose. If I knew the person, I'd probably feel a little hurt, and I doubt I could look at them the same way, but I'd attempt to maintain composure.

 

[Walley]

the best legal and moral vengence you can do in this day and age is whip out your cell phone and takes some pics or a video to post online. never know it could go viral and get you a guest spot on the Ellen show!

 

[Chikid]

I don't even know. I can't think of something worse you could do to someone than cheat on them. (Aside from the illegal side of things).

I would have to call a friend and hangout or something so I didn't do I something I regretted.

 

[Phaedron]

1) If its the woman: husband is obviously the nice guy who treats her right, and shes in bed with some bad boy, maybe an ex or an old boyfriend. Relationships are built on lies to make each other feel good. Women tend to obey alpha males who treat them like crap while rebelling against the hold of the nice guy, but the nice guy is better in all the other ways. Around the house and with the kids.

2) If its the man: She realizes shes got a bad boy / player who can't be trusted with keeping the integrity of intimacy, and yet the fact he is considered attractive to women and gets a lot of attention is the most likely very thing she's attracted to. She'll probably kick his ass out, wind up with some nice guy, and then we go back to one and start over again from the top.

The limitation of monogamy implies a certain level of owning each other in so far as limiting what a person can and cannot do. If you're a man you feel like the wife is yours, but does the woman feel like she owns the man or that she is owned by the man? She wants to be the girl of someone who is worthy. This is especially true because she can walk out the door wearing something pretty and flirt with any number of eager horny men. Its embarassing for a woman to be with a man who isn't worthy, but where men are concerned almost any girlfriend would be an improvement. The guy doesn't feel like hes owned, and the kind that do, nothing about the woman would change that. They are simply the kind of men who can't be satisfied with one woman. They avoid intimacy and live for the game.

Solution: go back to the days when men were men, and it meant something to be a man, and the man had power. Feminism was a conspiracy to destroy the family unit. I'm sorry but its true. Todays male is emasculated in a society where women can get away with anything, forcing the scenario above. As with black plantation slaves, the women is elevated above the man to increase compliance.

3) You've also got the scenario of the nice girl. That one has an overly submissive woman who is stuck in an abusive relationship. When a woman is overly nice, she apparently gets stuck with an ******* and fails to pick the nice guy that likes her. She still chooses the bad boy, only in this case she stays with him and lets him do whatever he wants. Abuse is preferable to dating a nerd or something.

These are typical results. It doesn't mean every relationship is doomed to go this way, but to make it work takes effort. The majority of typical problematic relationships fall into 1, 2, 3 as stated above.

People make me sick. Relationships make me sick. Whoever isn't obsessed with holiness and morality ain't worth the ink they use to sign their name on any contract they agree to.

4) What if you caught your boyfriend / girlfriend in bed with someone of the same sex? Would it change anything in anyones answer? Would it be less threatening and possibly even acceptable if they regard you as their only man / woman in their life but still fool around with others of the same sex?

 

[Walley]

Solution: go back to the days when men were men, and it meant something to be a man, and the man had power. Feminism was a conspiracy to destroy the family unit. I'm sorry but its true. Todays male is emasculated in a society where women can get away with anything, forcing the scenario above. As with black plantation slaves, the women is elevated above the man to increase compliance.

People make me sick. Relationships make me sick. Whoever isn't obsessed with holiness and morality ain't worth the ink they use to sign their name on any contract they agree to.

really?
are you serious¿
i like Archie Bunker but it was just a sarcastic comedy show.. not meant to be taken seriously..

 

[EveWasFramed]

1) If its the woman: husband is obviously the nice guy who treats her right, and shes in bed with some bad boy, maybe an ex or an old boyfriend. Relationships are built on lies to make each other feel good. Women tend to obey alpha males who treat them like crap while rebelling against the hold of the nice guy, but the nice guy is better in all the other ways. Around the house and with the kids.

2) If its the man: She realizes shes got a bad boy / player who can't be trusted with keeping the integrity of intimacy, and yet the fact he is considered attractive to women and gets a lot of attention is the most likely very thing she's attracted to. She'll probably kick his ass out, wind up with some nice guy, and then we go back to one and start over again from the top.

The limitation of monogamy implies a certain level of owning each other in so far as limiting what a person can and cannot do. If you're a man you feel like the wife is yours, but does the woman feel like she owns the man or that she is owned by the man? She wants to be the girl of someone who is worthy. This is especially true because she can walk out the door wearing something pretty and flirt with any number of eager horny men. Its embarassing for a woman to be with a man who isn't worthy, but where men are concerned almost any girlfriend would be an improvement. The guy doesn't feel like hes owned, and the kind that do, nothing about the woman would change that. They are simply the kind of men who can't be satisfied with one woman. They avoid intimacy and live for the game.

Solution: go back to the days when men were men, and it meant something to be a man, and the man had power. Feminism was a conspiracy to destroy the family unit. I'm sorry but its true. Todays male is emasculated in a society where women can get away with anything, forcing the scenario above. As with black plantation slaves, the women is elevated above the man to increase compliance.

People make me sick. Relationships make me sick. Whoever isn't obsessed with holiness and morality ain't worth the ink they use to sign their name on any contract they agree to.

3) What if you caught your boyfriend / girlfriend in bed with someone of the same sex? Would it change anything in anyones answer? Would it be less threatening and possibly even acceptable if they regard you as their only man / woman in their life but still fool around with others of the same sex?

*sigh*

 

[SophiaGrace]

I don't like this thread.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I'd leave them. Simple as that. I couldn't bare to look in there eyes after them sleeping with someone else.

 

[theraab]

Solution: go back to the days when men were men, and it meant something to be a man, and the man had power.

Being a man means honoring your commitments - how about instead of going back we just start honoring our ******* commitments to one another (and women do the same)?

 

[MissGuided]

^ +1,000,000

 

[Phaedron]

Solution: go back to the days when men were men, and it meant something to be a man, and the man had power. Feminism was a conspiracy to destroy the family unit. I'm sorry but its true. Todays male is emasculated in a society where women can get away with anything, forcing the scenario above. As with black plantation slaves, the women is elevated above the man to increase compliance.

People make me sick. Relationships make me sick. Whoever isn't obsessed with holiness and morality ain't worth the ink they use to sign their name on any contract they agree to.

really?
are you serious¿
i like Archie Bunker but it was just a sarcastic comedy show.. not meant to be taken seriously..

I'm not saying people shouldn't have rights or be able to work where they want to, on the contrary many men love to be the king of the castle while the queen, like in chess, is out kicking butt. There is a side to what we have now that works against the family. Some men still cling to Chivalry, and for instance, if you see a woman crying in the street you comfort her, but thats far less likely for a man. Equality only goes so far, and there is nothing to balance it.

Note that I edited the above and added:

3) You've also got the scenario of the nice girl. That one has an overly submissive woman who is stuck in an abusive relationship. When a woman is overly nice, she apparently gets stuck with an ******* and fails to pick the nice guy that likes her. She still chooses the bad boy, only in this case she stays with him and lets him do whatever he wants. Abuse is preferable to dating a nerd or a nice guy.

Clearly women want the bad boy. So let men have the power so that all men can be bad boys. There, problem solved. Let men be men, since woman don't want men that aren't men anyway. This is true with the exception of women who like men that are gay. Here they show their enjoyment of destroying what it means to be a man. Such women probably think nice guys and beta males should be gay.

Chivalry worked because the woman was cast into a position of humility and the male uplifted her. All the men had power, there were no nerds or inferior men. It was the mans job to do the dirty work, women didn't want to do anyway, or to climb the mountain to bring her a flower. That was when you had romance.

In the Bible two things come to mind. "A woman shall compass a man"meaning surround. In the day of the lord women shall surround men. It is also written somewhere that many women will cling to a man. In other words, as women have gained abundantly in all things, their numbers will soon be very abundant. God declares "I will make a man more precious then gold." Men will be few. Then we will have the Muslim paradise on earth where men keep harems. So on judgment day the men are punished with death, and the good men rewarded with wives. "I will burn the world with few MEN left, for they have transgressed the laws, changed the ordidnance, and broken the everlasting covenant." Isaiah 24:5. Still need to find the other verses when I'll do I'll make a video sermon.

 

[musicstoodstill]

Being a man means honoring your commitments - how about instead of going back we just start honoring our ******* commitments to one another (and women do the same)?

right???

and incidentally....commitment and exclusivity is not only physical -- it is emotional as well.