I am in pain

[Bratwurst0516]

I am new. I(54yrs.-old) may have experienced that last week. I had known the woman(52yrs.-old), since 2010. Yet I didn't physically meet her until 2016. Because, She lives on the West Coast, and I live on the East Coast. I did visit her again in 2017 n' 2018. 2019 I couldn't because of moving expenses. Then came Covid-19. So, I haven't flown out there since 2018. We talked twice daily on the phone. If I didn't call, she wondered why. She does have Bi-Polar II. I know they can have mood swings. This isn't the first time I have 'communicated' with a woman who has Bi-Polar II. So, I knew what could happen.

But, The Saturday prior to the 20th Anniversary of 9/11. She told me she had a sore throat. I offered to hang up. She said her sore throat wasn't that bad. On Sunday I called, no answer. I just wanted to find out how she was feeling. The same thing happened on Monday, and Tuesday, no answer. Wednesday, I got the automated message, 'this number has been disconnected and is no longer in service'. Now I was worried at this point. I had to wait 48hrs. before calling the local police. Because they ask people to wait 48hrs. before doing anything close to filing a Missing Person's report. Also, Her cell phone was in her son's name(31yrs.-old). So, He had to cancel it, not her.

So I wait 48hrs.. The police tell me they will not do a welfare check, since I am not related to the woman. So, On 9/11, I google the apartment complex for its' phone number. I call it, and get the same automated 'disconnection' message. Granted Google isn't 100% accurate. So I check it on apartments.com, and apartmentguide.com. Both websites(which are advertised on TV, and in magazines) have the same phone number for the apartment's office. So, I call the woman's cell phone, from another phone. To see if my phone had been blocked. The same thing happened calling from a second phone. Also, It doesn't make sense. Why the office phone would be disconnected. It is very ominous to me.

 

[Sarah G]

I don't know what it could be, such a mystery. I'm sorry you're in such pain though.

 

[TheRealCallie]

What the hell kind of police don't do a well check simply because you aren't blood relation? That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. It doesn't take sharing blood to be genuinely worried about someone. Here they will check on anyone, doesn't matter if they are related to you or not.

Does she have any social media or anything? Maybe google her name? Or check the son's social media?

 

[Hallyonprime]

I'm sorry you are in pain man it sucks when you think someone doesn't want to associate with you anymore I hope everything works out for the best

 

[Bratwurst0516]

I don't know what it could be, such a mystery. I'm sorry you're in such pain though.

Thankyou

What the hell kind of police don't do a well check simply because you aren't blood relation? That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. It doesn't take sharing blood to be genuinely worried about someone. Here they will check on anyone, doesn't matter if they are related to you or not.

Does she have any social media or anything? Maybe google her name? Or check the son's social media?

I was thinking the same thing. We are still 'Friends' on Facebook. Because, I thought she would have 'Un-Friended' me, by now. But she hasn't posted anything since June of 2020. She didn't even reply to Birthday wishes from a number of people(me included). When she had her Birthday in January. Except, at that time. Even though she was recovering from surgery for two broken legs. I was able to wish her Happy Birthday on the phone. Also on her Facebook page. She is still 'Friends' with a guy from high school. Who 'romantically' refuses to have anything to do with her. So, That makes me wonder, if what is going on. Is actually a BP-II mood swing. I found her son on Facebook. But, I am not going to contact him.

My (ex)fiance also has BP-II. She also, has history of blaming every single man she has been with. Which is why. They(including me) are her ex's. But, While it doesn't seem the pattern, here. It doesn't mean, it isn't.

If someone ticks me off, I un-Friend them pretty quick.

I'm sorry you are in pain man it sucks when you think someone doesn't want to associate with you anymore I hope everything works out for the best

Thankyou.

 

[kaetic]

Maybe the bill didn't get paid? It's been about a week, right?
Does she access fb through her phone?
I don't know why the apartment office number would be down too. But that could be unrelated, unless she runs the office?

Sorry you can't contact her. But I would imagine she's ok if her son hasn't posted anything about her. My sister posts everything anytime my parents have an issue.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Thankyou

I was thinking the same thing. We are still 'Friends' on Facebook. Because, I thought she would have 'Un-Friended' me, by now. But she hasn't posted anything since June of 2020. She didn't even reply to Birthday wishes from a number of people(me included). When she had her Birthday in January. Except, at that time. Even though she was recovering from surgery for two broken legs. I was able to wish her Happy Birthday on the phone. Also on her Facebook page. She is still 'Friends' with a guy from high school. Who 'romantically' refuses to have anything to do with her. So, That makes me wonder, if what is going on. Is actually a BP-II mood swing. I found her son on Facebook. But, I am not going to contact him.

My (ex)fiance also has BP-II. She also, has history of blaming every single man she has been with. Which is why. They(including me) are her ex's. But, While it doesn't seem the pattern, here. It doesn't mean, it isn't.

If someone ticks me off, I un-Friend them pretty quick.

Thankyou.

I would say maybe try to reach out every few days just to make sure she's okay, but just give her some space. It might be all she needs.

 

[Bratwurst0516]

Maybe the bill didn't get paid? It's been about a week, right?
Does she access fb through her phone?
I don't know why the apartment office number would be down too. But that could be unrelated, unless she runs the office?

Sorry you can't contact her. But I would imagine she's ok if her son hasn't posted anything about her. My sister posts everything anytime my parents have an issue.

The possibility of her son not paying the cell phone. Has been mentioned before. Since he is an attorney and works at a VA location. I don't think it could be a lack of money(I hope not).

 

[Bratwurst0516]

I would say maybe try to reach out every few days just to make sure she's okay, but just give her some space. It might be all she needs.

I haven't called since I found the line had been changed/disconnected on 9/8/2021. In the back of my mind. I hope it has nothing to do with her mental health.

 

[Bratwurst0516]

I did some more digging. I found out the worst news possible from the local Police just a few minutes ago. Her son called the Police a couple days ago, to do a welfare check on his mother. The police found her deceased. I am in a daze, still trying to grasp the enormity of it.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'm so sorry for your loss

 

[Bratwurst0516]

I'm so sorry for your loss

I don't think it is a giant leap to think she committed suicide. Since she told me, the last time we talked on 9/4/2021. That she had a sore throat. Then she didn't answer the phone or call me back, on 9/5/2021.

 

[Bratwurst0516]

I'm so sorry for your loss

Thankyou

 

[Sarah G]

I'm so sorry to hear that

 

[JJW]

Condolences. I'm sure the pain is made all the worse for the days of uncertainty. Loss is self-perpetuating. It exists in its own timeline. I'm not sure that words help, but we all hope for your well being.

 

[Bratwurst0516]

I'm so sorry to hear that

Thankyou

 

[Bratwurst0516]

Condolences. I'm sure the pain is made all the worse for the days of uncertainty. Loss is self-perpetuating. It exists in its own timeline. I'm not sure that words help, but we all hope for your well being.

I chatted with her son, today. He is still in shock(as am I). He said he found his mother laying face down on the bed, on the 7th. I think she died on the 3rd. Not long after I talked to her at 10pm(EST)(she lived in California, I am on the East Coast). When I tried to reach her twice, around 12am(EST), she didn't answer the phone.

 

[Bratwurst0516]

Condolences. I'm sure the pain is made all the worse for the days of uncertainty. Loss is self-perpetuating. It exists in its own timeline. I'm not sure that words help, but we all hope for your well being.

 

[SecondStarTotheRight]

Good god. I expected a better outcome, hoped for a happy ending, your being reunited, ending up together. What a horror for you, and her son too. Horrible. I sincerely hope you're doing okay, considering, doing better, on a path to healing...

 

[Bratwurst0516]

She didn't commit suicide. Her son sent me her autopsy report. She died from 'Dialated Cardiomyopathy'. That is the thinning of the heart muscle and occurs around middle age.

While there is a high percentage of those with Bipolar Disorder, who commit suicide.

Neither her son, nor I, expected what the Medical Examiner listed as her cause of death.