I don't know what to do

[nerdygirl]

I am 31 and I work over 80 hours a week. I still do not know what I want to be when I grow up.

 

[oarivan]

I am 31 and I work over 80 hours a week. I still do not know what I want to be when I grow up.

Haven't you already grown up?

 

[nerdygirl]

I am 31 and I work over 80 hours a week. I still do not know what I want to be when I grow up.

Haven't you already grown up?

Nope! I have not grown up! (and I won't, if I have my way)

 

[Too lonely]

Dear Arnaert

First of all, I would like to let you know that I went through the same thing that you went through at your age. I am now 26 and will be 27 next week and I still haven't achieved everything I've ever wanted in life.

When I was a kid, I suffered from depression at an early age of 13/14 which I believed stopped me from really living my life and finding a path in life. So when I reached year 12, I still didn't know what I wanted to do. I let my depression take over my life and then I did poorly in year 12. I then went on to do a uni course I hated and continued to fail and dropped out.

I know all this sounds bad... but the point of this story is that I continuously failed in life but somehow I made it through and started a new uni course 3 years ago and now I've almost finished!! I'm still not completely sure what I want out of my career, but what I learnt from growing up is that life will never be perfect and you will constantly evolve as a person.

So please don't feel sad. I know I get lonely sometimes but I always believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Go out with your friends and live your life and have fun. That is the one thing that I regret - and is probably the reason why I've struggled through my life a lot.

If you ever need someone to talk to, then just give me a hoy!

I really don't. I'm 17 & everyone I know is talking more about what they're gonna do career wise. Countless of them are talking about being tattoo artists. I don't know why it must be a trend, I really don't think many of them actually will they know nothing about tattoo art except that its "cool". But at least they're dreaming about something. I'm not. When I look inside myself I don't see anything, no dreams or goals, I never have. Even if they haven't necessarily decided on a career just yet they at least have a hobby. What do I have? Nothing. I don't do anything. I try, I can't. My mind is constantly locking whenever anything new dares to get in. My body can't handle ANYTHING. I dunno, I was thinking I'd get a career in something very repetitive, where the routine is endless & my mind doesn't have many demands. It'd be best for me I think. I dunno, I'm just so lost & I feel like I just can't seem to grow up. My mind still works the same way it did when I was a child(I'm actually being serious there). People talk about hormones going mad as a teenager, I didn't really even feel that. All my friends going after the opposite sex nonstop. I've never been like that, I've never been sexually attracted to anyone EVER. I just don't feel it. I just don't know how to make sense of anything in my life. What am I a late bloomer in every aspect of life? When's it gonna kick in, when I'm 30 & 25 year olds talk about me behind my back even though they're not far away? I'm just completely lost.

 

[Skye]

Dear Arnaert

First of all, I would like to let you know that I went through the same thing that you went through at your age. I am now 26 and will be 27 next week and I still haven't achieved everything I've ever wanted in life.

When I was a kid, I suffered from depression at an early age of 13/14 which I believed stopped me from really living my life and finding a path in life. So when I reached year 12, I still didn't know what I wanted to do. I let my depression take over my life and then I did poorly in year 12. I then went on to do a uni course I hated and continued to fail and dropped out.

I know all this sounds bad... but the point of this story is that I continuously failed in life but somehow I made it through and started a new uni course 3 years ago and now I've almost finished!! I'm still not completely sure what I want out of my career, but what I learnt from growing up is that life will never be perfect and you will constantly evolve as a person.

So please don't feel sad. I know I get lonely sometimes but I always believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Go out with your friends and live your life and have fun. That is the one thing that I regret - and is probably the reason why I've struggled through my life a lot.

If you ever need someone to talk to, then just give me a hoy!

I must say, this post is the reason I joined this forum today. Thank you very much Too lonely - may you find direction even though everyone's on the dole! It's given me a sliver of hope. Just a sliver. I'm 25. I'm what could be called an INFP according to myers-briggs. But in the end that doesn't mean anything because I'm still very different from anyone else who is an INFP. The only time I actually had the opportunity for paid work was when i began university at age 19. But all my previous life experiences made for major low self esteem/entitlement schema/jus tplain cluelessness and dreaminess and all the time I was in Canada I kept telling myself you don't deserve to be here, you don't belong here, you're this and this.... I suffered from high anxiety/avoidance/homesickness/SAD/poor life skills - the whole thing and kept thinking I'll do it soon.... I'll figure it out. I'll become confident and extraverted and everything...

But then life happened. It was a major struggle to do university work, make friends, lose people whom I thought I'd be friends with but they weren't interested, as I said I'm 25. Never had a real job ever - not even at the supermarket because I've been too scared. I took a gap year instead of going into teacher training which I KNEW wasn't right for me at all, thinking I'd figure it out, but instead became completely engulfed with depression. I volunteered at Oxfam and that gave me something to do until I couldn't drag myself out of the house at all. I couldn't even keep up volunteering at Oxfam for more than a month - and I was just helping sorting the clothes, I couldn't even face working the till because i can't count change nor so I have any customer service skills! that's how pathetic it was. And then there was a job opening in the public library but I couldn't even sit down to write my CV - I didn't know how to make one! And just couldn't face going out of the house as I mentioned before. All this time my ESTJ dad was in his own way trying to get me to grow up - get a job.... i don't put up with this.... i also went for counselling on the NHS but by that time the antidepressants had put me in such a haze that it didn't help as such....the ethnicity of the therapist meant they were even more far removed from what my experience was.

Anyway, the antidepressant effect made me impulsive and violent and I lashed out at my ad one day and after that i had to leave the UK. 2 years down the line, i may or may not be depressed, may or may not have bipolar/borderline/OCD/anything else but the bottom line is even if i still am, i still need to find work. and i still can't bring myself to even do yoga daily - that doesn't even require you to go out. i got one of those useless degrees as they call them BA English with no work experience, not even on the university newspaper because i couldn't face journalism.

So the OP is only 17 and i have confidence he'll do well eventually, just taking his own time. I'm just not too sure about myself. I've been really fortunate to have been blessed with enough financial resources to not have had to work but..... that doesn't help me now.