I have an important decision to make and I'm not sure what the correct answer is?

[Finished]

Okay, so I quit working more then a decade ago. At the time, I calculated out my funds and figured that I didn't need to work ever again as long as I lived as if I was broke. But, a lot has happened since then. Now I'm concerned that my savings will run out before I'm dead. Inflation has made a lot of older people homeless and / or broke. I'm very concerned about future inflation and medical costs. I currently don't have medical insurance and probably never will until I get to age 67, medicade.

As a safety precaution I have kept all my credentials up to date incase I NEEDED to get a job. Well, I have a HUGE gap of unemployment now to deal with. That's not easy to explain away. BUT, the nearly exact same position for me has opened up and it's about the best time to apply for it. I'm by far the most qualified for it. There is a shortage of workers right now and I can probably get a decent salary because of it.

HOWEVER, I REALLY don't want to work! I don't want to be told what to do! I don't want to deal with all the traffic! I don't want to deal with all the people! It's a people person type job. So, I'll be interacting with others much of the day. There will be lots of stress including deadlines, pressure to perform, and bosses that aren't so friendly. All while, I will need to smile and tell everybody how lucky I am because I love my job, which would be a total lie! Then I'll also be pressured to lie about the status of projects to the outside world. If I don't I will get ridden hard. If I do I'll hate myself for it. Then I'll be told to MAKE sure the projects turn out the way I was pressure to tell others they would.

Also, I believe that this is my one opportunity to get back into the game. If I don't take a shot at it right now I will not get another chance. It gets more and more difficult the older you get. In another ten years it will be too late for sure. So, how about five years? What will the economy look like then? I would have to explain away a 17 year work gap. That's nearly impossible to do.

But, I REALLY DON'T want to make a resume, cover letter, buy a suit and shoes, apply, smooze with the boss and other co-workers, get interviewed by a panel, take an exam, put on a happy professional face, seem very excited about working again, and then negotiate my salary. All while everybody is judging me and jealose that I was able to take a 12 year or so break from working.

Plus I will piss off a lot of people currently at the job because I will be taking away a position the someone has worked a long time there to step up into. So, they will be gunning for me. Plus there are still a few people there that remember me and they were quite angry I left in the first place. When I left the place fell apart because I was expected to take over and nobody else was paying any attention to the projects.

So, what do I do?

Last night was the first night I haven't slept in a long time. This job posting has hit me like a wall.

Part of me, thinks that I should force myself to do everything needed to get the job and then do it for about another 10 years or so until I can officially retire. At that point money definitely would not be a concern for me.

However, I quit working because I was so stressed and frazled. Why in the hell would I torture myself like that again? I have a feeling my health will plummet in order to keep the job.

If I get the job and quit after a year or two it would not help me at all. Also, I would definitely burn that bridge forever and others would not want to take a chance on me. It's a tight industry.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I get that you are qualified for this job and that's why you want to jump at it, but it doesn't sound like this is the type of job you WANT to do....isn't there any type of job that you could do instead that might fit your lifestyle better and keep you away from people and being forced to smile all the time?

As for the gap, just be honest. A lot of people who "retired" early are going back to work now because they have to. I don't think it'll be that big of a deal. I was a stay at home mom for 10 years and didn't have too much trouble getting back into the working world and that was 12 years ago.

 

[user 148069]

it sounds like you are already stressing out. I don't know exactly what field you are in but what do you think of remote work/ work from home type jobs?
Would that be an option?

 

[Adamridge79]

For the large gap, just mention in the most vague way you can that you had some medical issues that needed attention. They really can't ask, and if someone does, you just say you had some things broken inside. I used it, granted it was only a two year gap, and I wanted to work, so not quite the same. And it wasn't technically a lie, since my brain did decide to go all haywire, and it's inside. But as has been mentioned, you really don't want to go back. I don't have any advice for that part.

 

[StarDust]

HOWEVER, I REALLY don't want to work! I don't want to be told what to do! I don't want to deal with all the traffic!

I think this is your first conflict to resolve. Embrace the fact you are returning to work (with 5 or 10 year plan), or regardless of the job you accept, it will not last.

I don't want to deal with all the people! It's a people person type job. So, I'll be interacting with others much of the day. There will be lots of stress including deadlines, pressure to perform, and bosses that aren't so friendly. All while, I will need to smile and tell everybody how lucky I am because I love my job, which would be a total lie! Then I'll also be pressured to lie about the status of projects to the outside world. If I don't I will get ridden hard. If I do I'll hate myself for it. Then I'll be told to MAKE sure the projects turn out the way I was pressure to tell others they would.

It's a job, don't take it personally. I disagree with many procedures at my job, but follow them as that is my job. I am not paid for an opinion and know they are not interested in my opinion. As for dealing with people, stay focus to the job and tasks of the job. It is not personal relationship, but work collegues/customers. I correspond with clients all day... about work. If discussions go to personal topics, that is where I fumble. So just keep it professional and you will do fine.

Also, I believe that this is my one opportunity to get back into the game.

It sounds like a great opportunity.

Plus I will piss off a lot of people currently at the job because I will be taking away a position the someone has worked a long time there to step up into. So, they will be gunning for me. Plus there are still a few people there that remember me and they were quite angry I left in the first place. When I left the place fell apart because I was expected to take over and nobody else was paying any attention to the projects.

Are these assumptions or fact?

 

[TropicalStarfish]

What's the job? The housing market has exploded; if you own a house, you could probably sell high and then just downsize or something.

If it's salaried job, beyond the bleak pale of minimum wage offerings, and you get hired, just hold out till it's not worth it anymore...

Or if you do own a house, with a spare bedroom, you could rent out to some one.

Or you could try to start your own business/freelance, if you have any of those skills. Make your own hours, be your own boss. Maybe take the job, and spend some freetime figuring out how to become your own boss/freelance.

I dunno, my situation is f'd in that department, so, consider yourself lucky, I'd say...

Or try to land a job that's agreeable to you, and just work part time or whatever to offset dipping into your savings and pay into a healthcare plan...

I'm probably not the best person to ask such things; but, that's what rings off the top of my head...

 

[Finished]

Thanks to all for reading what I wrote and for all the suggestions!

I'm really troubled because I don't think I can go back to working with people any more. I have trouble dealing with people even on a limited basis now and get totally stressed out about it. If I speak with someone more then just a minute or two I get a headache and feelings like I did something very wrong. Then I react badly. I am sure I could force myself to do it for a short time. But, then I'll pop and/or internalize everything and make myself sick.

All my previous experience, education, certification, and training has lead me to a very specific job so if I switch to something else I will have to start near the bottom. That's just not acceptable any more. I would rather be homeless and broke, which would take atleast two decades. A lot can happen in that time frame. I tried switching careers along the way as I was advancing. But, every time I tried to do that something went wrong or the timing was bad.

But, I've also thought that, well, maybe I can go ahead and try for the position and request a certain salary. If for some reason I didn't get the job then I could feel releaved that I tried. But, if I did get it then I could try to work with a shrink to help me deal with people and normal life. That would be the mentally healthier path. It would also put in front of a lot of people that would see me as a catch. So, that could lead to maybe finding somebody special. That's pretty much the only way I got a girlfriend in the past.

However, before I quit working I tried getting help with a few Psychiatrist. IMO, it did help me deal with not allowing myself to be a victim. I learned to own every decision I made / make. But, none of them were able to change me into a people person. Sure, they wanted to put me on drugs. But, I didn't want to take drugs with side effects.

I started and ran three businesses on and off over the years. I quickly learned I needed to be even more of a people person unless I could grow the businesses into hiring others to deal with people. The economy, supplies, and new competition continually may it tougher so I closed them all up and will not do that again. Hell, I don't even want to deal with selling stuff on Ebay any more. I either donate stuff or toss it now.

I looked up the work numbers for the people that are probably still at the job. I might call one or two of them and maybe invite them to lunch and ask about out how the atmosphere there is now. I would be working directly with upper level managers so who they are and how they run the place makes all the difference.

Or, I might just say F it and do nothing.

One of the biggest problems I'm having is that much of my time used to be occupied with taking travelling adventures. But, for many reasons doing that is something I don't really want to do any more, except maybe once a year or something, maybe.

So, I have a **** load of time to piddle around now. I can do that. But, I'm getting tired of working on hobbies and projects. If I started working again...............

Blaaa. Ha! ha!

 

[user 188522]

Go back to work; retirement sucks!

 

[Finished]

Or if you do own a house, with a spare bedroom, you could rent out to some one.

I dunno, my situation is f'd in that department, so, consider yourself lucky, I'd say...

I do and that is an option. Yes, I am lucky. I bought my house needing tons of work when houses were still fairly cheap. I remodeled it and focused on paying it off as quickly as possible. So, I'm doing well on that front.

 

[Finished]

it sounds like you are already stressing out. I don't know exactly what field you are in but what do you think of remote work/ work from home type jobs?
Would that be an option?

Definitely!!!!!! The thought of dealing with people while appearing happy and positive is totally stressing me out. I rarely leave my house any more. I stress out just being out in public now. I love being able to get back home, close, and lock the door. I won't allow myself to get groceries delivered because I fear I will never be able to leave my house at all.

My field / job requires lots of personal interactions with business owners, politicians, attorneys, upper level management, contractors, and many others. So remote work is not possible. I always need to appear positive, extremely knowledgable, and very confident.

I have over the last decade looked into doing remote work. I used to program. I even did some freelance stuff with others in peacemeal fashion. But, my computer knowledge is very out dated at this point. I have looked into the new languages and new styles of program and found them to be horrible. I want no part of the new crap they are using and the new proceedures they are using.

So, that would leave me at the starting over point, which I am unwilling to do any more.

It's soooooooooooo much easier and less stressful just saying screw it all and if my funds run out then they run out. I have a feeling MANY senior citizens are going to be in very bad situations in the next four to five decades.