I have no sympathy for anyone in relationships

[2fresh4youx]

I still say that the whole "friend zone" can be surpassed. Sure, it may exist. But a lot of relationships start out as just being friends. There's always hope if you hold on to it.

Never once had any success, so I don't see what the point of trying is anymore. I refuse to be classed as a friend that women can simply "pitty".

Keep being negative about it. That'll help ya a whole lot.

Seriously though, I doubt anyone has pitied you as far as that. Is every female that you look at suppose to fall all over you?

No I don't. I don't have such ridiculous expectations. It's just that I've had bad luck in terms of women I've liked, swaying into areas where they somehow bring up my love life and consciously blurt out phrases like "You'll find the one" "You're such a nice guy".

I'm just trying to say, can't a guy catch a break once in a while?

 

[VanillaCreme]

So it's bad for someone to tell you that you're a nice guy and that you'll find someone? Patience goes a long way in life. I'd rather wait 50 years for the person who's right for me, than to have relationship after relationship of people who I think might be right. Let life work its magic.

 

[2fresh4youx]

So it's bad for someone to tell you that you're a nice guy and that you'll find someone? Patience goes a long way in life. I'd rather wait 50 years for the person who's right for me, than to have relationship after relationship of people who I think might be right. Let life work its magic.

Not bad. Just "boring" and useless advice. Clearly there's more to winning over the heart of a woman than just being nice, otherwise I'd be winning over the hearts of the said women who are saying such things.

 

[Ak5]

Not bad. Just "boring" and useless advice. Clearly there's more to winning over the heart of a woman than just being nice, otherwise I'd be winning over the hearts of the said women who are saying such things.

Being nice goes a long way, but so does being confident.

 

[VanillaCreme]

So it's bad for someone to tell you that you're a nice guy and that you'll find someone? Patience goes a long way in life. I'd rather wait 50 years for the person who's right for me, than to have relationship after relationship of people who I think might be right. Let life work its magic.

Not bad. Just "boring" and useless advice. Clearly there's more to winning over the heart of a woman than just being nice, otherwise I'd be winning over the hearts of the said women who are saying such things.

Being nice isn't all that matters, no. But that's with nearly everything in life. Being nice at an interview won't guarantee you the job.

 

[2fresh4youx]

So it's bad for someone to tell you that you're a nice guy and that you'll find someone? Patience goes a long way in life. I'd rather wait 50 years for the person who's right for me, than to have relationship after relationship of people who I think might be right. Let life work its magic.

Not bad. Just "boring" and useless advice. Clearly there's more to winning over the heart of a woman than just being nice, otherwise I'd be winning over the hearts of the said women who are saying such things.

Being nice isn't all that matters, no. But that's with nearly everything in life. Being nice at an interview won't guarantee you the job.

Exactly. I can win over the minds of a prospective employer yet I would never be able to win over the heart of a woman. I have too much of a formulamatic/routine type of mind to ever see a relationship in the right way. If I ever get feelings for someone, I see it as a task/challenge that requires strenuous effort, which usually ends up with me acting like an over-confident, not being himself guy.

 

[Astral_Punisher]

I have become so down about relationships to the point that I experience anger/feelings of bitterness whenever someone or something mentions them. If I meet a girl and she brings up she has a boyfriend, my entire interest and perception of her changes. I couldn't care less about what she has to say anymore. She obviously has her needs met through her boyfriend. Why would she bother talking to me (despite work obligations)? If her needs arent being met and she is taking more interest in me than her boyfriend, than it points that she is obviously a cheater/immature girl, so I should not pursuit her. Either way it's a catch 22. Women will always see me as a friend, nothing more. When they instantly meet me, I am friend zoned.

Heh. I am also annoyed by women whom have boyfriends, yet ask me for help, or assistance when they REALLY should be asking their boyfriends.

No, I don't want to drive you to the mall. No, I don't want to go purse shopping with you. No, I don't want to go see a chick-flick with you.

Some might say: "Oh, well maybe she likes you more then her boyfriend, and she might switch to you!" - But this is false, because these women will constantly mention the boyfriend, such as, "Oh, Bob plays that game!" or "Bob always laughs at that joke!". She isn't interested in making me her man. She just wants to add to her collection of "Beta Orbiters"

I am not their boyfriend. I am not in their pants. They are not providing any reason to do things I don't like, with them, just because they want me to.

Also, some might say: "Oh, well maybe she just wants to be friends!"
If she and I shared a common interest, or we traded off doing things each other liked together, 50/50, then that is more like a friendship. The women that I am referring to will ALWAYS ask you to do things that you have NO interest in, and NEVER do anything that you want to do. They use you, and never repay the favor.

Not Friendly.

/rant

Exactly. I can win over the minds of a prospective employer yet I would never be able to win over the heart of a woman. I have too much of a formulamatic/routine type of mind to ever see a relationship in the right way. If I ever get feelings for someone, I see it as a task/challenge that requires strenuous effort, which usually ends up with me acting like an over-confident, not being himself guy.

You are logical, like a lot of men seem to be. You want something, you take the route that is most obvious and straightforward. You put in effort because you want to succeed. You are Focused. These are truly amicable traits in a man .

Getting a lady is more like a dance then a feat of strength. You have to vary your levels of intensity, and allow both her, and yourself, to have a turn putting in the effort. If you drag her around the floor, you're not letting her enjoy the chance to dance with you back. I bet you'll be surprised if you just give her a little more room to 'work'. I'm not saying to ignore or avoid them, just... don't be right in front of her all the time.

Be yourself. You won't be happy if you have to pretend to be someone else for the rest of your life. Please trust me on this one .

 

[ladyforsaken]

Let life work its magic.

I like that phrase, let life work its magic. Sounds very familiar like I've heard it somewhere.

Any who, a random thought related to topic, I guess some people who like to whine about their relationships to other people are just seeking attention. It can be positive or negative attention. Positive attention where they may want to hear what other people's opinions are if they're not looking at the situation well. Negative attention where they just want others to envy them or give them sympathy for being treated a certain way when their significant other is probably not giving them the sort of attention / sympathy they want.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Lonesome Crow....

You could be more sensitive to those around you. I am not saying walk on eggshells but remember who you are talking to when you are complaining or talking about your sexual escapades. Maybe they don't want to hear it. Maybe it's too painful. It's sort of like someone earning $100,000 a year complaining about money stress to someone who makes $30,000 a year. Do you get it? Because it can make the other person feel bad. Do you care about that?

Please don't think you are better than anyone on this thread. Not being able to be alone, to keep your own company is not an evolved state. If you haven't found the joy within...that is nothing to brag about. Being with women just because you can't be alone or are uncomfortable with you own self is nothing to brag about. Seriously.

Also, most of your posts here come across as bragging, overly sexual, full of ego and just kind of juvenile. Maybe instead of bragging everytime a topic comes up...maybe give it a rest. Only people who are insecure bragg. It's not nice especially when others have emptied their hearts online only to have you berate them, make fun of them and in general just not be understanding.

^No offense but I didn't understand

Anyway...OP, I can relate. I am one of the few among my girl friends that's still single (since forever too). I hate how they complain about how their boyfriend did this or that. My response? Just dump him then if you're so unhappy! When I'm in a good mood I tell them to be happy...or dump them. Gawd. Just shut up!

What's worse is when these said friends break up...and they make SUCH a big deal about being single...But they only end up being single for a couple weeks before they find the next boyfriend...who usually lasts around 2 years. I don't understand why they can't just "enjoy" single life like me....for several YEARS in a row. I've been single so long, I don't think I know how to be in a relationship. If I ever happen to meet someone compatible, I'll probably scare him away.

Then they always say there's less drama when you're single. Not true. I get a lot of crap from dudes that are confused about what they want from me (platonic vs. romantic).

The longest Ive been single is 5-6 months tops.
I like to say 1 year. If I check the actual time line, it's only around
6 months. I took the suggestion of getting to know myself and
all that good stuff....I found out I dont do very good alone.
I'll simply think too much. Then get all mental and depressed.
Plus my sexual drive is relitive still strong. Surpressing this
will also lead to depression. Sexaul fustrations.

So I'll get into relationships...hoping for the best. I know it's not
always gonna smooth sailing. Sometimes I just need to vent
or talk to someone about situations while being in a relationship.
Emotions are high and I might not see so clearly when my gf and I
are fighting.....Maybe just to vent or someone to listen to me.
I know I must work through the problems oneway or the other.
I guess that's what marriage counseling or journaling is for....
Or Im better off talking to my other friends the are in relationship
about such matters...Their more understanding becuase they'll
go through the same ******** every so often too. But they're
bussied in their relationship ans arnt always avaliable.

**** all my lonly single freinds that just wanna see me happy, feeling good, Or they'll complain that I've move on with my life and left thier ***** behind. The other ones that are more active...will want me to go chase women with them.

So when Im in a major fight while in a relationship..
My single friends are wacked out and depressed.
My friends that are in relationships are too bussied.
I dont want to go hang out with my other friends becuase it'll sabatage my relationship.
See how a person can feel lonely or alone while in a relationship from time to time?

Bascailly the same stupid **** was happening to me even trying to use my support group.
I'll call people because I really need help or need to talk to someone....
30 sec into the phone call...Im listening to thier god damn problems.lol

**** it...i cant count on no one other than me...anyways.
I'll just talk to myself before I check into the loonie asylum.
This way I'll really see **** and talk to GOD.lmao

I seriousely doubt you read all of my posst. You see only what you
want to see and procress everything through your own perceptions.
In other words...your opinions or comments about me or anyone are just reflections of yourself or awaerness.

What I've written was never ment to disect or psycho annolize.
If I was sick in the head, I'd probably buy into the old unhealthy
and unworkable beliefs system.

Guilt,shame, people pleasing, praise seeking, love earning are very
unhelathy behaviors that leads into codependency and low selfesteem.
It's basic 101 recovery or healing material that any good counselor or therapist would inform a person.

With over 45 years on this planet, A person have or regconized confidence somewhere along the line....

i wouldnt be me...if i didnt linked this, wouldnt I.
Plenty of people already know i lost my virginity to a super model and I make them too. it's all good. Positive begets positive.

 

[perfanoff]

Did you just post a collage of pictures of girls you've had sex with?

I'm not sure how to respond to that.

 

[ShybutHi]

I think he did and it is LC afterall so that does not surprise me in the slightest.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Did you just post a collage of pictures of girls you've had sex with?

I'm not sure how to respond to that.

Yes, some...
Some are more significent than others.

You dont have to do anything.....

well,...it's the same message written in different ways.
And it's also how a person intuprate the message.
Some of the subject matters, I was going through it myself.

It wasnt easy to walk away from someone I love very much.
As Ive said...She loves me.
At the sametime I couldnt sit around and drown in my sorrows.
Self pity gets me no-where...right, wrong or indiffernce.

Life gose on...With or without her. I had to move on.
I have my perfernce of women. I had to put myself out there
again and again. Willing to take that risk of getting hurt or being
loved. Nothing is garanteed

At the end of the day I had to be true with myself. Belive in myself.
Do what I believe in. Do what works for me. Do what is right for me.
Stop comparing myself to other people or do what others think is best.
Not what society, groups of people, or a person thinks is best for me.
What works for them might kill me. What works for me might kill
them....The very core of myself worth or self esteem.

and there it is.... Self empowermement.
No one is responsible for my hapiness or consequences.
Therefore...I am not responsible for anyone else's hapiness or miseries either. The blame game stops. The guilt trip stops.

In a perfect world or life...Renae and I would had gotten married
from the very beginning. I've wirtten about her on this site from
the very beginning. Things happened...Life happens.

Im with her, now. Again.....Im grateful for this.
I choose to be with her. I chose to drive across the country again
and again to be with her. Put my heart, soul and life on the line again.
Im doing it for me...as much as Im doing it for her.
Whatever it takes. Whatever issues or challenges.
Whatever it is I must get over,face, forgive or let go of.

I love Renae more than anything. She's beautiful to me.
She's the love of my life...And i certainly dont need anyone's
approval or permission to love her.
Even if I'm not perfect. Even if She's not perfect.
Even if our lives arnt perfect. Even if our relationship isnt perfect.

I focus on our love. I feel this....
The positives things we have
It's my choice and responsiblity. Painting my side of fence green.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Did you just post a collage of pictures of girls you've had sex with?

I'm not sure how to respond to that.

On the plus side, at least they're work safe. Even children learn, see?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

childen or employees using PC to surf the net or browing forums at a worksite???
that's ignorant...dude.
Pleeted pants are out dated...btw.lol

 

[Phaedron]

I can't deny that having a relationship is surprisingly valuable to someone's sense of self, for better or worse.

Well it is quantum verifiable. Things only exist in relation to other things. So if you don't have a relationship it's kind of like you don't exist, and this line of reasoning would further lead to becoming invisible, (but I still don't see where the levitation comes into play) In any case, its perfectly natural to define ones sense of self in relation to ones relations.

I don't like hearing the complaints either most of the time. It's rude, like eating food in front of someone who can't have any. Food that smells bad and gives you gas, (because their complaining) but still. On one hand you're hungry and want to eat it, and on the other hand you're disgusted by it. Either way it's rude. Twice as rude. Plus its rude to talk about someone behind their back. So thrice as rude. Trouble comes in threes, so do as you please.