I Just Don't Understand Her Decision

[Badjedidude]

She chose him despite having feelings for me. I am supposed to say "Oh that is just fine"? Oh I completely understand, you know I have feelings for another person however, I cannot be with that person, because this other person gave me what I wanted first. I like this other person. I want to feel something for this other person, however, I don't. So I need to get away from these feelings I am having.

She would never talk to me again either way. Even if I had said "Well I completely understand, you take all the time you need". Because she would be convinced that if she did not talk to me for however long it would take for her to be dumped by this guy. That I would despise her anyway. Even if I was completely fine with her situation.

If she never talks to me again, that is fine. She ruined what we had with her god damn title lust.

Bitterness, bitterness, bitterness. (no)

You're going to choke on it.

 

[nerdygirl]

She chose him despite having feelings for me. I am supposed to say "Oh that is just fine"? Oh I completely understand, you know I have feelings for another person however, I cannot be with that person, because this other person gave me what I wanted first. I like this other person. I want to feel something for this other person, however, I don't. So I need to get away from these feelings I am having.

She has feelings for her boyfriend, too. Otherwise, she wouldn't be with him. She wouldn't care how he felt about her spending time with you. She's trying to make it work with him. The way you didn't try to make it work with her.

Does it suck? Yes. Is it okay for you to be angry? Sure. You can be as hurt and angry as you need to be. But the thread topic was about understanding her decision. Well, she's doing what she feels is best for her. You don't have to like it, but it's not really that hard to understand.

Imagine somebody here posted that she had a new boyfriend. She says she cares for him, but still has feelings for her ex. The ex never really appreciated her, and she finally decided to leave because she wasn't happy. Once they were breaking up, the ex started behaving differently. The new boyfriend, on the other hand, always treated her the way she wanted to be treated. She feels that keeping in touch with the ex is keeping her from completely falling for the new guy... but she's having a hard time not hanging out with the ex. Because she has those feelings for him. Most people would tell her to drop the ex and make it work with the new guy.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Bitterness, bitterness, bitterness. (no)

You're going to choke on it.

Yeah I can see it choking me now... I think this whole experience is showing me that I am probably bi-polar

She has feelings for her boyfriend, too. Otherwise, she wouldn't be with him. She wouldn't care how he felt about her spending time with you. She's trying to make it work with him. The way you didn't try to make it work with her.

Does it suck? Yes. Is it okay for you to be angry? Sure. You can be as hurt and angry as you need to be. But the thread topic was about understanding her decision. Well, she's doing what she feels is best for her. You don't have to like it, but it's not really that hard to understand.

Imagine somebody here posted that she had a new boyfriend. She says she cares for him, but still has feelings for her ex. The ex never really appreciated her, and she finally decided to leave because she wasn't happy. Once they were breaking up, the ex started behaving differently. The new boyfriend, on the other hand, always treated her the way she wanted to be treated. She feels that keeping in touch with the ex is keeping her from completely falling for the new guy... but she's having a hard time not hanging out with the ex. Because she has those feelings for him. Most people would tell her to drop the ex and make it work with the new guy.

I guess I just use too much logic. Ending a relationship while you still have feelings for the person just seems stupid.

 

[Badjedidude]

Yeah I can see it choking me now... I think this whole experience is showing me that I am probably bi-polar

No, don't sluff off the responsibility on a condition that's hard to prove and only continually victimizes you.

Take the weight and bear it. You have to find a way to lose the anger about all of this or it's going to eat into you like a cancerous tumor.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

You misunderstand me friend. I am not blaming my feelings for this incident on that condition. I am well aware that the feelings I have are my own and I have to deal with them. I am just thinking about how many times my mood has swung from I am going to kill myself to I am going to become the best I can to get back at her.

I do not want to use mental illness as a crutch, especially one that is hard to prove. Just thinking about how I go from suicidal to life is a challenge and back

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Its all part of the process.
There's nothing with you. Its about a normal reaction as your going to get.
You havn't hurted anyone. You havn't hurted yourself going through this.

Here's the thing....people or society now a day thinks that if you FEEL your feelings
that there's something wrongs...If U feel sad or angery that theres something wrongs with you.
You have mental illness, ADD ,Bi polar or whatever the ****.

The more you allow yourself to process your feelings and thoughts. This is actually is whats letting
go is...It's letting your mind process whatever it's going to process.
Seize fighting it. What you resist persist.
The sooner you process it...the sooner you will get pass it.
When youre going through this...letting things out or expressing your feelings and thoughts as
your processing, that you not be judge, condem, ridicule or be told that there's something wrong
with you. In time you will adjust. In other words...THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
You will move forward in your own time or heal in your own time.
In other words...people needs to get the **** out of the way and let the miracal happen....and not fix
you. Not tell you how to feel, thinks, belive or do.

If you feel hurted....you feel hurted. If you feel rejected...you feel rejected.
If you feel like killing yourself...you feel like killing yourself.
You are not your thoughts and feelings....you have thoughts and feelings.
This is what is call HONESTY...To thy ownself be true.
You're not pretending that everything is honkie dori with you at the moment...You're accepting things as they
are....Not the easiest thing is the world. But the Truth will set you free.

Intuitively you alredy know...you can't change her and you can only change yourself.
You know this....it's just a pain in the *** walking through it sometimes.
Whatever your threashold maybe....
When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired of having these feelings and thoughts. Or living the way you do.
You'll stop dwelling on it or stop the pains and suffering. In other words CHANGE or GROW out of it.

Its all good. A part of you is already moving forward already. You know this already.
And you also knew you had to leave it somewhere or talking about it so that you the rest of U may move forward.
Thats why U started this thread.
......................
anywho I have a thought
its all logical. I've consider it .hahahaha
If I should respect, accept, get over her decisions and actions.
So..when I do whatever the **** I wanna do...such as treat women like cars.
When I get done using them or breaking them in after a wild ride...I should be able to just get a newer younger model and move forward.
People better accept and repect my decisions. None of this BS about being a hustler, player, womanizer.
Women better grow some fucken titays and get over it.

 

[Sus]

anywho I have a thought
its all logical. I've consider it .hahahaha
If I should respect, accept, get over her decisions and actions.
So..when I do whatever the **** I wanna do...such as treat women like cars.
When I get done using them or breaking them in after a wild ride...I should be able to just get a newer younger model and move forward.
People better accept and repect my decisions. None of this BS about being a hustler, player, womanizer.
Women better grow some fucken titays and get over it.

I wanna think that I'm missing something here, because this tone... if this **** is for real you have serious issues with women.

 

[nerdygirl]

I guess I just use too much logic. Ending a relationship while you still have feelings for the person just seems stupid.

That's not using "too much logic". It's a deliberate refusal to understand something because you don't like it. She wasn't happy, so she left.

If having feelings for a person was all there was to it, a lot of people would stay in bad situations. People would always stay with significant others who cheated on them, beat them, stole from them, etc. What you did to make her leave might not have been as bad as that, but it was enough to make her unhappy.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

anywho I have a thought
its all logical. I've consider it .hahahaha
If I should respect, accept, get over her decisions and actions.
So..when I do whatever the **** I wanna do...such as treat women like cars.
When I get done using them or breaking them in after a wild ride...I should be able to just get a newer younger model and move forward.
People better accept and repect my decisions. None of this BS about being a hustler, player, womanizer.
Women better grow some fucken titays and get over it.

I wanna think that I'm missing something here, because this tone... if this **** is for real you have serious issues with women.

hahahaaaa... read the entire thread.
Yeah...your missing som'in....wtf???

The cum stain on her blouse that ain't mine makes me unhappy.
Not really...its the fucken strap on she's been using on him.....

 

[sadface]

why is this thread so entertaining

 

[Sus]

anywho I have a thought
its all logical. I've consider it .hahahaha
If I should respect, accept, get over her decisions and actions.
So..when I do whatever the **** I wanna do...such as treat women like cars.
When I get done using them or breaking them in after a wild ride...I should be able to just get a newer younger model and move forward.
People better accept and repect my decisions. None of this BS about being a hustler, player, womanizer.
Women better grow some fucken titays and get over it.

I wanna think that I'm missing something here, because this tone... if this **** is for real you have serious issues with women.

hahahaaaa... read the entire thread.
Yeah...your missing som'in....wtf???

The cum stain on her blouse that ain't mine makes me unhappy.
Not really...its the fucken strap on she's been using on him.....

Ohhh, of course! I get it now!

Yeah, serious ****, definitely.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Lonesome Crow: True enough, if people do not feel pure bliss there is obviously something wrong with them. I know I am tired of being this way and I am working ot change it... however, it is hard. Especially since I have not completely escaped these feelings

Your posts always make me laugh. Treating females like cars. that made me laugh.

I wanna think that I'm missing something here, because this tone... if this **** is for real you have serious issues with women.

He has serious issues with females is one way of looking at it. Another way of looking at it is the women he is with are dull sheets who expect their good looks to keep him interested. On some level everyone feels this way about the other gender. If not, then people would not fall out of love or get bored or grow apart. If not no one would be choosy about who they mate with and trust. On some level, we all are guilty of doing this. I am right there with him. You know what, if females did not like that kind of an attitude then men would not have it.

@nerdygirl: Yeah I guess you are right. Granted what made her unhappy just shows that she will never be able to have the happiness she wants. In fact she told that when this relationship fails the romantic part of her life is over.

why is this thread so entertaining

Because I am an *** hole that is why

 

[Sus]

As long as that is what you expect of the oposite gender, that is what you will get, so enjoy.
However, there is lots of sexist attitude here for me to bother reading this anymore. I'm out.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

As long as that is what you expect of the oposite gender, that is what you will get, so enjoy.
However, there is lots of sexist attitude here for me to bother reading this anymore. I'm out.

XD I love it When people tell me They are out. However, if you come back there is one thing you need to consider. Relationships in and of themselves are sexist. Both genders have a role to play in them, as well as their own view of them. In this case it is a guy bashing a girls method of thinking. However, had I been a female then it would be a female. My point is that you call this sexist however this is a case where it cannot be truly equal.

 

[NOAH_FX]

@AFrozenSoul : I understand where your coming from, but only because i've been their. The Rational side of my brain wants to tell you you're wrong. That you were a **** and she was in the right. However I know thats exactly what you want, it's what you wanted than and now by posting here. It's easier that way, you just fill up with hate, hate everything, everyone, because it's easier than being sad. Being sad's depressing, being angry is envigorating it lets you feel right without consequence, because who cares anyway? I don't see how sexism was brought into this.. It has nothing to do with people siding with her because she's female, the sided with her because you were childish. She hurt your feelings (Once you figured out you had any, again experience) and you had two ways to deal with it, feel rejected and hurt, or angry and bitter. You chose the latter, instead of taking the high road, you decided to trudge through the ****, we'll now your covered in it. Please don't think im judging you in any way, im just weighing in with my oppinion.