I think I might have a problem

[somerandomdude]

I'd like to start by saying that this is a whole new low for me. I don't usually whine about my failed social life online, I used to honestly think that it's only for miserable losers, no offense guys, but it doesn't really matter now anyway. Alright, hmm, now where should I start. I haven't really had a single friend or even a buddy to talk to ever since seventh grade ( that's when me and my mom moved to a new town ). Now I'm in college, so, uhh, that makes a whole lot of years. I don't really want to consider myself socially retarded, I can deliver a speech or hold a conversation when needed, heck, I've given presentations even. I don't really know what it is, everyone is pretty much always nice to me, yet never did I manage to make any long lasting social relationships. People just come and go. Well, now I'm in my twenties, all alone. I spend most of my spare time watching tv, movies, playing video games, lifting weights, all by myself. I never even receive any calls if you don't count the relatives. At some point, I guess, I finally gave up. I don't even bother talking to anyone nowadays, I just sit through my classes, going through the motions, I just don't really care anymore, I don't care about my future bachelor's degree, I don't care about my future job, it all just feels meaningless now. That's pretty much what my life has become. Just going through the motions. To think about it, I actually attempted a suicide once, looking back at it, I probably should had tried harder, but yeaaaah, I don't really know where I'm going with this rambling, guess I felt like opening up a little. Man, I will surely regret this tomorrow.

 

[undone (._.)]

I'm also in my twenties, and I've had friends come and go. In kindergarten through 8th grade, I had pretty much the same group of 3-5 friends. Then we all went to different high schools, so I didn't really see or hang out with them much after that. In high school I had one close friend for the first 2 1/2 years, then another friend for the last 1 1/2 years. We went different paths for college/careers, so I didn't really see these people much after high school. In college, I was only really close friends with one of my roommates through the four years, and even that friendship started to fade toward the last year.

During each of these periods in my life, I had close friendships that I thought would last the rest of my life. Currently, there's only 2 guys I would consider close friends, but I only see maybe one of them once a month at best. I can't say with confidence that I have a best friend right now in my life. I can't even think of someone that I can talk to about my deepest thoughts and feelings (beside prayers to God).

My life sounds pretty similar to yours right now: I go to school, eat, work out, use my computer, and play video games by myself. While I would like to have friends, I don't seem very good at starting up or continuing friendships. The main reason I can think of that my past friendships ended/faded is that the friend and I just stop putting effort into making time to hang out. Based on my past friendship failures, I don't really know what type of person I should be looking for that would want a long term friendship as I do. However, I also wonder if I'm being too optimistic about the possibility of long-term friends as many other people I read about online have talked about their friends not lasting. Maybe friends only last for a season of life at best?

 

[Sci-Fi]

Don't regret opening up, it's good to do. It's kind of disheartening to read that you don't care about your future. What are you studying? You attempted suicide once and failed, good, because that means you are still meant to be here for some reason.

I'm older than you two, I'm 35 and all I do is go to work, then go home and sit on the internet, play DC Universe Online, and sometimes draw/paint/write if I feel like it. I never get phone calls, mostly because I use phone cards and don't give my number out. I go on facebook to see what my friends are up to, who are all married with children for the most part. Sometimes I comment on status messages, sometimes I worry about them if they are having a bad day. Lately I haven't even commented on those because I have my own issues. I guess the point I'm trying to make is for you to get out of your rut before it is too late. Find some kind of purpose. Don't be like me when you get my age, which will be exactly where you still are right now. Make a change now.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

You sound a lot like me friend. Much like I can really care less about the world. I have only really used my phone this month because my sister was in town.

I think my view that people who whine about their problems are losers really makes things worse. It forces us to hide ourselves. This week recluse even further. However, it is never too late to change your view. . It is hard however, it will do you a lot of good I think. You should take advantage of what time you have left in college and experiment. Because once you get out in the real world it becomes much more difficult to find places to experiment.

 

[cumulus.james]

You sound like a spoiled brat with ideas above their station and would not have a clue about the horror of loneliness to me. You have everything going for you. So take advantage of it all. Its too late and too hard for people like me, but you have no excuses.

As an awful and corny singer once sang "live your life be free".

 

[kamya]

What the hell is your problem cumulus? Do you really take yourself that seriously? I might have an idea why you are so lonely. >>

You don't have to go into every thread and bash the OP and tell them how good they have it and how you are the only truly lonely person and how no one understands you. You can't measure loneliness just like you can't measure success or happiness. It's subjective. Of course it can sound like whining or complaining sometimes because that's exactly what they are doing. There's nothing wrong with a rant to get things off your chest.

By the way, how is it too late for you? What is your super awesome excuse for being lonely?

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi SRD-
Thought I would post since the thread got derailed pretty badly. Have you been checked for depression? Can you do so? Is there a campus wellness center that students can go to? Please look into it, you definitely sound sad and down and I've been there too. Stick around awhile and let us know how you're doing.

Teresa