I'm sobre, and I don't like it.

[TheRealCallie]

Makes me feel better when I cut. Does not harm anyone else. I am not sure what the fuss was about. I was senior first-aider, I can cut without nothing happening.

But I am drunk now. And I need to cut and I can't even cut.

I understand that it makes you feel better. I really do, but there are safer ways to make yourself feel better.
The fuss is because it endangers you. Even if you are the best doctor in the world, you can still hurt yourself more than you want to....especially when you are drunk.

I got nothing. There is nothing. And I am so alone.

I can't think of a single solution.

Only this 4.8% solution.

I hurt. All day. Every day. And I got no one.

I hate myself so much.

There is something, there is always something. You just have to find it.
There are places that could help you, places you can go to make you not feel alone, but you have to take the steps to get yourself there.
There are people out there that could care about you if you let them and you don't have to hate yourself forever. You could turn yourself around and have a good life. You just have to ask yourself how bad you want it.

where are these places?

I'm crying now and I hurt so much where can I just find another human?

It all hurts.

It just hurts.

Well, that's where the "how bad do you want it" comes in. There's AA (It is NOT based on religion). There are support groups for just about everything, you just have to look for them. Google AA, Google Support groups for sexually abused, Google support groups for gay people. Hell, just Google support groups. Go to therapy, find a hobby and join a group that does that.
You can find people everywhere, you just have to look around the haze of the alcoholism and see what is really there for you. You CAN do it, you just have to let yourself.
Letting go of things is hard, especially when it's control, but are you really in control of your life or does your life have control of you?

And if you want to talk, I mean sincerely, no judgments or ********, you can always PM me.

 

[jd7]

I'm sobre, and I don't like it.

How do peolpe cope? Is this what it is like all the time?

Makes me wanna add a meth habit too.

15 years later...and sobriety is like being high for me...

Reality is a trip...

Trust me, you don't want a meth habit...

I've lost seven friends to it.

 

[cumulus.james]

I'm sobre, and I don't like it.

How do peolpe cope? Is this what it is like all the time?

Makes me wanna add a meth habit too.

15 years later...and sobriety is like being high for me...

Reality is a trip...

Trust me, you don't want a meth habit...

I've lost seven friends to it.

I used to like amphetemine. I have a medication that is very midly like that.

 

[jd7]

When I experimented with meth (one time), I was already a long-time cocaine connoisseur, mostly preferring pharmaceutical grade ether-based...personally...

I knew better than to touch meth and had already snorted a point (half an 8 ball of cola). This experience confirmed my suspicions as I felt pure evil coarsing through my veins and realized I had now met something stronger, meaner, and more cunning than me. I knew this thing had the power to turn me into something straight from Hell. Never touched it again.

I'm sobre, and I don't like it.

How do peolpe cope? Is this what it is like all the time?

Makes me wanna add a meth habit too.

15 years later...and sobriety is like being high for me...

Reality is a trip...

Trust me, you don't want a meth habit...

I've lost seven friends to it.

I used to like amphetemine. I have a medication that is very midly like that.

 

[cumulus.james]

I would never touch meth I just pulled it out the air. I have largely stayed away from drugs. Only had a few puffs of a joint twice, tried ketamine once and anphetemine a couple of times.

 

[FauxReaL]

I have been using drugs since I was 12. The heaviest years of usage were from 15 until literally the day I turned 20 when I was sent into rehab on my born day. I've been (relatively) sober since. You're going to want to go into rehab and NA/AA if you want to get serious. Keep an open mind. At least try NA a few times and see how it goes. If you're not religious, that's cool. I'm not either and I make due. I haven't been to a meeting in a month tbh though. I've gotten to the point where I can drink socially at parties (no weed or harder stuff anymore). It's still not optimal. I haven't used for two weeks, and I want to see how long I can go. It's tough. Addicts don't get enough credit. Just keep with it. Post acute withdrawal symptoms linger for up to six months, dawg. 3 months is my record and I was feeling way better than ever during that time.

 

[cumulus.james]

I have been using drugs since I was 12. The heaviest years of usage were from 15 until literally the day I turned 20 when I was sent into rehab on my born day. I've been (relatively) sober since. You're going to want to go into rehab and NA/AA if you want to get serious. Keep an open mind. At least try NA a few times and see how it goes. If you're not religious, that's cool. I'm not either and I make due. I haven't been to a meeting in a month tbh though. I've gotten to the point where I can drink socially at parties (no weed or harder stuff anymore). It's still not optimal. I haven't used for two weeks, and I want to see how long I can go. It's tough. Addicts don't get enough credit. Just keep with it. Post acute withdrawal symptoms linger for up to six months, dawg. 3 months is my record and I was feeling way better than ever during that time.

I am so sorry you got into drugs at 12. How did that happen if you do not mind me asking?