Imoral Christian's Venting and Ranting for stress release.

[Imoral Christian]

Hi
I looked at threads here on this website.
There normaly about just one topic only.
Well thats not how l upkeep a thread.
I normaly love to keep all my thinking in the one thread.
That way it cuts down on a very lot of confusion.

My first venting tonight is.
I want a goodnights sleep but my body keeps wanting to cramp up.
I have prevented them up until now by streching and moving around when pain sets in.
My bloody body is keeping me awake.....

 

[Mick Travis]

I'm sorry you're in pain. I only have to sleep with 2 layers of blankets on my legs to escape. I can't imagine what it would feel like to constantly fight cramps.

If I may address your abandoned thread here, welcome. I know what you mean about forum troubles. I haven't noticed the mob mentality here. That's how I got here.Thinking of a search term to find yet another a new forum, I concluded that being the odd man out made me lonely.

 

[Imoral Christian]

There is this lady in my life.
She is not my wife.
She was my girlfriend once before l married my wife.
I still got very strong feelings for her.
She is one of them ladys that people control her life.
Normaly arguing and telling me not to talk with her.
I have knowen her for 3 decades.
We both have very bad memorys but we keep reminding each other.
Been like this most our lives.
When l am with her my heart wants to care fror her like no tomorrow.
Its like l married the wrong woman.
Well yesterday l seen her talking with her mum and she
Looks like she is in her 90's.
This worries me about my life long friend.
She has lived with her parents all her life.
I hope with all my heart she is inderpendent enough to make it on her own.
My sister is simular to my friend she has doown-sin-dome when mum was to old to care for her she was put into a group home a very long distrance away. I have never seen my sister since.
Getting back to my friend once her mum passes on l don't want her to be forced to live a long way away. We will never speak with each other again.
She is so pretty all ways has been.
She has a hart of gold and all ways smiling.
She values me l see her telling suport workers not to worry about her and she feels safe around me.
This makes me feel very protected as they can attack with horrible words if this lady does not stop them.
But as our friendships grows its all for nothing because her life will change a lot once her mum is out of her life.
I can't help worry about her.
I still love my X from years gone by but being married to a diferent women its very very hard. Too many people control our lives. If it was same sex me and my lover could adopt her into our house and not break any laws.
Because l am married l could be jailed for poligermy.
Then we are in goverment housing too. Two people living in a one bedroom unit. The goverment would object if there was 3 people here.
I can't get a devorce both me and my wife are very dependent on each other very much.
Then there's all the people on her side controling her by helping her make life choices many times l hear her angery with them.
Yet all the time she is wearing a smile every day.
I will miss my X a very lot when others remove her from this town.
I been dreaming about her life all night trying to figger this all out.
I need to confront her workers and tell them if she wants to live inderpendent they should help her live a inderpendant life not put her away into a group home away from every thing she grow up with.
God my X has live in the same town all her life.
I do worry but there's very little to comfert that worry.
I do know she is in the best of care. When people care they choose what they knew is best for you and they ignore your own wants or needs.
Bloody sucks. I hope she is not hurt as little as possible.
I wish l could adopt her into my own family and take away any fear of how to cope when both parents die and you never lived alone before.
Some people you never stop loving. I am sure of it.

 

[Imoral Christian]

Hi
My bodys tormemting me.
I kissed my wife 5 or 6 times and l hurt myself.
It made me miss my very first girlfriend Kylie.
No one else in the history of my life can kiss as good as her.
I do things to produces happyness and at times its backfires on me.
I hate memorys that make me sad.

 

[Imoral Christian]

My venting about online love.
Online love is pretend there is no reality in online love.
Well cops do say if your a actor you still acted it out.
We need to be responcable not to get arrested for just having pretend love called online love.
Love is a tool its can be used for good or bad.
To me online love is a excape into fiction there is not much responcability in online love.
Online love can be very shalow and not very deep at all.
You can have online love for a couple of hours then it gets very boring and people stop being interested.
Online loving is just shaed feelings expressed in words.
Feelings never last forever.
Feelings need to be suported and pretected by a even much stringer friendship.
Problem is everyone has there own understanding on love.
No one is submisive anymore.
No one is willing to adopt new ways to love.
Everyone is set in what they want out of love.
So people get hurt because there is no agreement or willingness to change.
Where is trust? I tell you trust has nothing to do with feelings of love. Trust is built up over time between two people sharing heart to heart information.
Building trust can never be rushed.
But people can work together to increase it.
So do l want online love? Yes to have a growing friendship where two people can freely share there hearts in private without the fear of falling in love. Yeah who wouldn't want that.
I don't know what a true friend is, l don't even know how to be a friend. I only know how to love.
I guess l am interlectualy handicaped in that part of my life.
Bye

 

[sothatwasmylife]

My venting about online love.
Online love is pretend there is no reality in online love.
Well cops do say if your a actor you still acted it out.
We need to be responcable not to get arrested for just having pretend love called online love.
Love is a tool its can be used for good or bad.
To me online love is a excape into fiction there is not much responcability in online love.
Online love can be very shalow and not very deep at all.
You can have online love for a couple of hours then it gets very boring and people stop being interested.
Online loving is just shaed feelings expressed in words.
Feelings never last forever.
Feelings need to be suported and pretected by a even much stringer friendship.
Problem is everyone has there own understanding on love.
No one is submisive anymore.
No one is willing to adopt new ways to love.
Everyone is set in what they want out of love.
So people get hurt because there is no agreement or willingness to change.
Where is trust? I tell you trust has nothing to do with feelings of love. Trust is built up over time between two people sharing heart to heart information.
Building trust can never be rushed.
But people can work together to increase it.
So do l want online love? Yes to have a growing friendship where two people can freely share there hearts in private without the fear of falling in love. Yeah who wouldn't want that.
I don't know what a true friend is, l don't even know how to be a friend. I only know how to love.
I guess l am interlectualy handicaped in that part of my life.
Bye

Think for most people online love equals offline delusion a dangerous emotional place to be...sexual fantasia online I guess can be just that but has some pretty serious built in pitfalls..and you will probably find that anyone adopting a submissive role on line is likely to be a 55 year old bloke...Not really sure why you've marooned yourself on this thread but I guess the choice is yours.

 

[Imoral Christian]

I guess l am lonely.
I see old friends faces from years gone by.
They walk past me at the chip table as if l was not even there.
I see workers l know.
They walk past without even looking at me.
Hay my worker buddies please don't work so hard you quit a social life when your on the street please.
I see old people that have stoped being my friend.
That list grows every day.
I am like the invisable man. No one see's me.
As long as l don't break any laws everyone puts a blind eye on me.
I am compleaty alone.
But get this l am not sad at all.
I am just sitting around enjoying chips and Zero coke at a table in public.
Do l need to fear lonelyness? Well not today...

 

[Imoral Christian]

Think for most people online love equals offline delusion a dangerous emotional place to be...sexual fantasia online I guess can be just that but has some pretty serious built in pitfalls..and you will probably find that anyone adopting a submissive role on line is likely to be a 55 year old bloke...Not really sure why you've marooned yourself on this thread but I guess the choice is

A 55 year old mate we can share what ever is in our hearts. Hell yeah. Its been 30 years since l had mates.
I miss doing mates stuff together a lot.

How did l end up here. Let me try to remember.
I was contacting Contact Us to 5 or 6 forums.
This was the only forum that added me.
Marooned that is the right term here.

So l am setting in just voicing publicy what ever pops in my head. Something to fill in the long endless holiday from being pensioned off.

 

[Imoral Christian]

I am so sleepy.
Its the middle of the day.
And l am sleepy.
Meals on wheels comes soon.
Not hungery at all.
I should be playing Xbox.
All l want to do is sleep.
I am not even horney.
My head hurts.
My eyes hurt.
My body feels heavy.
The wife leaves for craft soon.
Maybe then l can get some rest.
I bet my own body will not let me sleep.
Bye

 

[Imoral Christian]

There are times in my life when l don't want a extra lover.
A extra person means l got to do twice as much house working.

 

[Imoral Christian]

Today l was sleeping.
A lady came knocking on my door looking for my wife.
She wanted to make a apointment to see my wife as she was not home.
I gave her the papper and pen.
I seen her face. I said my god your beatiful.
I could not of said a more offencive thing.
It was like a guy told a guy there very attractive.
Ever since that conversation my mind has been flooding me with happy gay thinking.
Thinking l don't have control over.
I am not gay by choice because of aids.
Yeah its like god said if you **** you will die.
But that does not explane why a lot of men not all but a lot come out of prision with full aids and there as strait as any other guy.
Its very wrong we got gays in our town in there 80's been gay all there life with no aids.
Somethings wrong somewhere and it stinks.
My old bible study leader has been a nurse all her life she is now 81 years old she says stay away from doctors as much as you possibly can.
I think she is onto some thing there.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

^I think you have too much time on your hands. Need a job? I know of several.

 

[Imoral Christian]

Govermemt Centerlink said l am not alowed to work ever again.
When l was accessed for a pension the approval team said l was a danger to myself and others.
It is against the law for me to drive anything.
I am not argumenting with goverment rulings.
Goverment mental health teams said l will be on a pension for the rest of my life.

Thats how people control you in australia.

 

[Imoral Christian]

Here l am sitting around in the winters sun.
Drinking lemonade sugar free.
I need to motovate myself to do some house work l have not done any all day.
I see the sex worker has knocked off work for the day.
Still walking around in her job clothes.
That ladys so rich if the police fine her she just pays them and they walk away.
Don't know what peoples see in her she is not attractive.
She must have a loyal subscriber service she has had all her life.
Loads of new faces in town.
Its a wonder they have not started beging for money.
When that happends its time to become a equally opportunity offender to them. LoL

 

[Imoral Christian]

I just talked to a lady as we walked together on the way home. She was complaining she was lonely.
I asked her does she have any friends? She answered no.
I said l could give you my address and phone number if you wanted to have a go at being friends.
She said she was too busy working to have any friends.
How the **** do workers treat lonelyness if they can't remove it with friends because they don't have time to keep any friends.

Wow thats a rant and a half.

 

[Imoral Christian]

OMG l all most lost my Xbox.
I over filled my Coke cup.
The Zero Coke ran down into the Xbox vents at the top to let the heat out.
The Xbox started beeping talking like a Robot.
I turned it all off and quickly moped it up.
I was very lucky it turned back on.
All most lost a Xbox that time.

 

[Mick Travis]

So, you're into girls because you identify with them and not because you're attracted to them?

 

[Imoral Christian]

So, you're into girls because you identify with them and not because you're attracted to them?

Very good question.
To answer honesty I have been lucky enough to of loved both sex's.
I have seen gay friends die very quickly when I used to get very bad flues.
There deaths still bother me to this day memory's like that stay with you all my life like memory's of a miscarriage.
That's why I choose willingly not to die from aids no matter what goes on inside my brain or body. Self control keeps you from Death Sentence.

I do find women attractive but most women are just guys born inside women's body. I do know a very lot of nonsexual women.
Sometimes in life we don't get any choice. I'll explain, for two years every day I would ask a women to be my lover. All of them rejected me. After two years my wife accepted she was 21 years older then me and when she cuts her hair short she does indeed look like a man.
For a bisexual I had the best of both worlds in a women. So I married her off. Been married 22 years and She's my best friend ever.
Screwed my brain over time I'm now attacked to people much much older.
Getting back to answering your question
"So, you're into girls because you identify with them and not because you're attracted to them?"
My answer would be Friendships have to come first because Pretty normally hides a person pretending to be a nice person its a cover up or a first impression bluff. Anyway kiss a women for 5 hours strait and you will be lying if you said she was not pretty. Our body's adapt to people we choose to love.

 

[Imoral Christian]

There is nothing.
The grass is not greener on the other side.
I got all l want or need.
Online girlfriend is not imposible.
Online boyfriend is not imposible.
Why? Everyone wants there own way.
Here l am asleep holding my phone
I compleated every side quest in a game tonight.
I got the achievement for doing so.
I keep dreaming and holding the phone.
How do l know when l have made a friend here?
I wouldn't know one from a bar of soap.
Goodnight

 

[Imoral Christian]

One of the people that got me into this forum said the old BBcodes
stoped working after the last update, well I found an official BBcodes
published for these Forums. It might help clear up some confusion.

The BBcodes for this website have been renamed Mycodes
here's the link http://www.alonelylife.com/misc.php?action=help&hid=7
Now everything will work again. bye