**** insecurities ;(

[jjam]

It's not that people don't like me. It's that they don't find me interesting enough to hang around and develop a true friendship with. People love me as an acquaintance.

 

[jales]

People definitely like you.

Hugs, hope you are well.

I feel that all the freaking time

 

[Sean]

Curious to know if anyone else has ever had the feeling that people don't like them, for no reason at all?

Once in a while I get this,
Most of the time I can reassure myself that this cannot possibly be true . . because I know everyone loves me (this is a joke).
But sometimes it sticks, and gets me a little upset over LITERALLY nothing.

Anyways,
Some situations like this have been on MSN or Facebook chat.
I guess it would be more common to happen there, than real life, cause it's hard to tell how the other person is feeling, and you can't really hear the tone of their voice, or sarcasm . . etc.

Scenario: Person i'm talking to says "oh gotta go, bye." but doesn't sign off for 10 minutes.
A few minutes after they say they're going to leave, I notice them still online, and I think to myself . . . "Maybe they just said that so they wouldn't have to continue to talk to me."

What probably happened: They do like talking to me, left facebook up and 'locked/switch user'd', or walked away from their computer.


Only other I can really think of is to actually confront the person, and ask them what's going on. What they're honestly feeling or thinking.
I probably would only do this if I highly valued the relationship, or thought it had potential.
Because it could be kind of embaressing.
(I did this once .)

Oh Sean, I feel your pain in this. I know EXACTLY how you feel. No matter how much someone tells me they like me or even love me, I always wonder if they really mean it, even when they demonstrate over and over again that they do. Not commenting on a status doesn't mean no one cares. It's most likely that they just couldn't think of anything to say that to them wouldn't sound dumb or fake or whatever. I know that's the primary reason why if I don't comment on something. I read all the status updates of my Facebook friends and sometimes will actually go to their walls to see if I missed anything in the feed. Of course, my friends probably don't realize I do that unless I mention it or comment on something.

One of the things I've found that helps me feel more secure is when I stop and think about the demonstrations that someone cares. For example, most of my friends are online. If I don't talk to one of them for a few days I start to think that maybe they don't care. Well, this happened recently. When he and I did talk again, he almost immediately linked me to something he found on the 'net that he thought I would like to see. To me, that was a demonstration of caring that he thought of me during the time we didn't talk. Since he and I are friends online, you have to do a little more thinking in terms of the limitations of the ways to demonstrate you care.

And you have to look at yourself too. Sometimes it's not enough to say, "I care." You have to show it. Are you demonstrating your caring of the people in your life? Commenting on Facebook statuses (if they're sincere) is one way but there are others. Caring is a two-way street and we have to look at our own behavior and make sure that we're demonstrating that we care. You only get out what you put into it.

Really though, for the most part, I think a lot of people are just forgetful. They get so wrapped up in their own stuff that they don't think about anything else. It's not personal...they're just self-centered. (Most people are actually.) The world we live in is busy and hectic at times and it's easy to forget the little things.

But the key to remember is that actions speak louder than words. Don't pay so much attention to the words, but look for actions. It helps.

aww thanks ,
i'll definately keep this in mind.

 

[Nina]

I still think you're adorable!

 

[Badjedidude]

*whispers*

you are the wolf, ************!

 

[Sean]

*whispers*

you are the wolf, ************!

ahaha, I try .

 

[Dessa]

That is how I feel right now.

I get that way all the time, even from strangers. Like who cares what a stranger thinks, right? I do. I used to get picked on a lot in school even from kids I didn't know, so whenever I pass by someone and hear them snicker I wonder if it was directed towards me. Sometimes I wonder if my friends really like me or not, like when no one responds to status messages on Facebook. I start to wonder if anyone really cares.

And Sean idk you that well but take solace in that I feel your pain, too. *Pats your back.* And I second Badjedidude's comment.

 

[cookie]

Wow, you totally described how i feel right now. I often think
about that too. Wondering if people hang out with me because
they like me or just because they just need me to do tzem a favor. Some
do just really wanna use you. i dont know but i've come to
the conclusion that most of the people are crap because they only think about their own advantage. Anyways let's say i know how you feel and you're not alone with that. Made me feel better as well when i've read this thread. Thanks all for the good comments btw and stephanie i loved your post.

 

[Stephanie]

Wow, you totally described how i feel right now. I often think
about that too. Wondering if people hang out with me because
they like me or just because they just need me to do tzem a favor. Some
do just really wanna use you. i dont know but i've come to
the conclusion that most of the people are crap because they only think about their own advantage. Anyways let's say i know how you feel and you're not alone with that. Made me feel better as well when i've read this thread. Thanks all for the good comments btw and stephanie i loved your post.

Aww, thanks. I love your user name. There was a running joke for a while about me and cookies. You may want to watch out. I am a known and notorious cookie thief. LGH1288 even posted a cookie recipe to hold me at bay to protect the innocent and unsuspecting cookies in the possession of other members. Yeah, it's that bad.

Seriously though, glad my post helped even if it was just in some small way. Dealing with my insecurities is an almost daily struggle, especially if I'm feeling lonely on top of it. Some days are worse than others. It seems I'm not the only one. I think the key is to watch out for people who feed on others insecurities to use to their own advantage. Unfortunately, it does happen and some of us are easier targets than others...especially those of us who wear our hearts on our sleeves.

The only exception to this for me is when cookies are involved. Then, all bets are off and your cookies belong to me.

 

[cookie]

Aww, thanks. I love your user name. There was a running joke for a while about me and cookies. You may want to watch out. I am a known and notorious cookie thief. LGH1288 even posted a cookie recipe to hold me at bay to protect the innocent and unsuspecting cookies in the possession of other members. Yeah, it's that bad.

Hehe, I must say I have a passion for cookies as well. Generally I love anything with chocolate. That and the fact that I'm sweet as a cookie ;-P (kidding ;-) ) I can be a tough cookie, too. Haha, enough kidding.

Seriously though, glad my post helped even if it was just in some small way. Dealing with my insecurities is an almost daily struggle, especially if I'm feeling lonely on top of it. Some days are worse than others.

Yes me too. Sometimes it's so severe I wonder about how it was the last time and how I was able to deal with. Like it's always the first time you feel bad about being alone and have no one you can talk to, who really cares and understands. Or someone with whom you can share silence and enjoy each others company. This week kind of is one of my worst and I felt like crying all day long. I don't know why, going to the gym helps me (good thing, when you regard my passion for sweet stuff).

I think the key is to watch out for people who feed on others insecurities to use to their own advantage. Unfortunately, it does happen and some of us are easier targets than others...especially those of us who wear our hearts on our sleeves.

So true. My "problem" is, I'm actually keeping distance when I first meet someone. Slowly I start letting them in my life and later I open up. Sometimes I think I open up too much, maybe I should always keep a decent distance but that would make me a little paranoid . But maybe it's some unwritten nature rule that people with their "hearts on their sleeves" are victims in first place and if you happen to be one you need to be cautious all the time. I know it sounds negative but I think it's reality, sadly. :-/

The only exception to this for me is when cookies are involved. Then, all bets are off and your cookies belong to me.

Hehehe...I used to eat all the cookies in the office I work. When someone asked I acted shocked and sad that all the cookies were gone (the last one is even true).....

*hugs*