Intelligence and loneliness

[Walley]

The more I carry on living, the more I notice that a surprising amount of people are pretty smart..

Lol.. I was thinking pretty much the opposite! I am suprised at how many stupid people are in the world.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Wait, what?

Eve, you're taking my words out of context. I said people are smart in different ways. Being book smart is different from being socially smart.

Edit: I edited out the quoted text, because it's clear that people don't want to read the whole post and relate it all together.

 

[Walley]

opps, it's seems my post got duplicated somehow. (that's what I get for posting with my smartphone)

anyways, I may as well expand on my comment above:
there are far more stupid people than smart ones in the world, but intelligence has little to do with education or intellect. those things are generally just measurements of our memory capacity.
true intelligence is the ability to understand how little you know, and how much everyone else around you knows.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Wait, what?

Eve, you're taking my words out of context. I said people are smart in different ways. Being book smart is different from being socially smart.

Edit: I edited out the quoted text, because it's clear that people don't want to read the whole post and relate it all together.

Nah...I didn't take anything out of context. I was just pointing out how what you said sounded. Glad you did the edit though...it sounded kinda bad.

 

[African_weasel]

I like how nobody responded to my post

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I like how nobody responded to my post

It was overly negative.

 

[Alienated]

There are several things going on here, in order to try and keep things simple I will handle them separately.

1. The message in a bottle

This is about the intent of my post. It was never my intention to 'wow you with my intellect', to declare myself superior or anything of the sort. I'm not looking for advice or analysis of the specific words I used. I don't need you to dissect my problem and point out the mistakes in my reasoning (as there aren't any! just kidding). My post was intended as a beacon, a message in a bottle for others like myself to stumble upon one day. They would definitely not be offended by me saying I'm exceptionally smart, as it's one of the keywords that needs to be in the message in order to maximize the chances of said people actually reading it. For instance, I've googled the phrase 'gifted but lonely'. I imagine if there is someone out there like me, they could very well do the same. If I don't mention 'gifted' in my post, how would they ever find it (and me)?

2. Conclusions drawn about my mental state and character

It seems not only was the intent of my post misunderstood, but several wrong conclusions were drawn from it concerning who I am and how I treat people. Don't you think one post (and not even an offensive one!) is too small a sample size to categorize someone as 'arrogant' or as anything, really? I get called out for being rigid and for my supposed lack of open-mindedness but you have me all figured out from this one paragraph I wrote? I'm completely harmless and innocent, like a child really. I have never in my life purposefully hurt someone. When you jump to conclusions like this and sling derogatory adjectives my way, it hurts me and depresses me. Which is fine, I have both anticipated and accepted this as a possible (and likely) consequence of my decision to post the story. But I say it so you know. The only one of the adjectives that actually fits me is 'misunderstood'.

3. Socrates

The Socratic mantra of "The only thing I know is that I know nothing" has actually been really prominent in my life. It was one of the ways in which I learned that I was smarter than other people (from a very young age), in the sense that people were always claiming things to be absolutely true and I knew they could never know this for sure. I have however since pretty much abandoned using this principle in everyday life since I found to be quite impractical. I'll try to explain: If I fall down the stairs, I will get hurt. Of course I don't know this for sure, and there's a chance I won't get hurt. But when it comes to decision-making, it saves time just to add the consequence 'I will get hurt' to the action 'falling down the stairs' because that's what's most likely to happen. This system of probability is one I use in all my decisions. I will think about all of the possible options and then decide on the course that I believe has the best chance of a good outcome.

Now, when it comes to my world view, there has been a similar evolution. I used to be completely open-minded, and if you dig deep enough, I still am. It's just that my theories have been proven right enough times that I can safely say they are universally true, in the sense that they are very likely to be (same principle as my example above). Does that mean that I am rigid? Absolutely not. If you present an alternate theory, or a rational argument disproving mine, I will always listen. If I think you have a point, I have no problem whatsoever with a modifying my theory or even abandoning it. This just doesn't happen very often. Keep in mind, I've spent half my lifetime on something most people just don't have time for, if you have an argument that isn't completely original chances are that I've read about it, heard about it, and tried to understand it several times already. If it was a good one (like the Socrates thing) it already has a place within my way of thinking.

4. Superman

If you haven't seen the movie The Iron Giant, I can't recommend it highly enough. It's the origin of my nickname, and what this means has also been misunderstood. Basically it comes down to this: Being Superman is choosing to do the right thing, transcending your nature or original purpose, to become something better than yourself. When you think about it in this sense, the world can't have enough Supermen, right? People that each day aspire to be someone better than they were yesterday? I'm no hero, but I could be one day. All that matters is how you see yourself. If this form of confidence in myself is again mistaken for arrogance, so be it!

Phew! I think I'm going to leave it at that for now. Again, thanks for the feedback.

I have to comment on something you pointed out here...

Don't you think one post (and not even an offensive one!) is too small a sample size to categorize someone as 'arrogant' or as anything, really? I get called out for being rigid and for my supposed lack of open-mindedness but you have me all figured out from this one paragraph I wrote?


I just don't know what to say.... I bet you got beat up ALLOT in school !!

That gifted class you attended.... Was for special people alright, it's called remedial.

But I do see a natural aptitude ( GIFT) you might call it....

To REALLY PISS people off !!

 

[MTrip]

It depresses me when people jump to conclusions too.

Yes, you are clear. And that is okay, as long you can accept the consequences. That attitude and course of action are likely to result in further isolation. Why should anyone care about what you have to say if you seem not to care about how you make them feel? You truly might care, but if you don't show you care, then it won't make any difference how much you care inside.

It's not so much dancing around as being considerate, tactful, and understanding cause and effect. People have needs, and people need reasons, incentive to engage. If you want relationships with others, it's actually up to you to treat them in a manner that invites them to open up and share with you. That's what I meant when I said that human nature will not accommodate you. If someone's not comfortable talking to you, your relationship can't reach a deeper level. So if you're not willing to help others feel comfortable with you, then it doesn't sound much like you are giving them a real chance.

That pretty much sums it up. Also, based on certain items in a couple of replies, I suspect that Superman is overestimating his own abilities to some extent. Even the Man of Steel could be felled by a chunk of glowing meteorite from Krypton.

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The more I carry on living, the more I notice that a surprising amount of people are pretty smart..

Lol.. I was thinking pretty much the opposite! I am suprised at how many stupid people are in the world.

I made the same observation a long time ago. The difference between us & Superman here is that you & I have enough sense not to say that to everyone we meet. As Alienated pointed out, bright people who don't bother to hide their intellect when in the wrong company, do get their ***** kicked. It's something that most "star students" learn in grade school.

 

[ardour]

again... by what standards do you consider yourself highly intelligent - IQ, GPA or other achievements?

 

[Lippy_Kid]

I thought I'd re-read the OP because as is often the case with threads I end up thinking, what are we actually talking about or trying to achieve here?

So it’s a post intended to look for like minded individuals with a view to companionship or more, judging by the last two paragraphs. So setting aside the intellectual posturing for a moment, I think maybe you need to find a forum that’s right for you to meet the sort of people you desire.

Not that we're all just a bunch of thickies on ALL you understand! but you state you are A: Lonely and B: Intelligent so I suppose you've come to this forum to meet similarly lonely people and separate the wheat from the chaff and find someone that you can connect with on a level you can both relate to. There's nothing wrong with that, a lot of people come here hoping to develop friendships and that can happen. Personally I think you'd find more immediate benefit joining a forum dedicated to an interest of yours, be it Physics, Philosophy whatever, start with a forum full of intellectually likeminded souls and then look to forge some friendships with people who you think you relate with best.

Put it this way, take a 1000 lonely people and you'll find maybe 1 or 2 who share a number of specific interests with you. Pick a forum dedicated to those interests and you'll find just about anyone there will be open to developing friendships with the people they meet. I mean, not everyone likes to discuss Satre but everyone needs a friend right?

Personally and like most people here, I have the ability to see the worth in people of all interests and intellects and I fear that until you develop a similar ability, you won’t find what you are really looking for. Or who knows maybe you will, it’s all about finding a connection that works for you, I'm just speaking from instinct here. I feel for you though because deep down I don't share your view that intellect needs to equate to loneliness, many (most?) smart people can find lasting happiness in the simplest pleasures in life, things we all crave. The brain and the soul require wholly different things and I feel that’s what you really need to appreciate.

 

[African_weasel]

I like how nobody responded to my post

It was overly negative.

It's not negative if I enjoy being called a smart ass.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

It's a lonely life, some times...

 

[Superman]

As I seemingly have a natural ability to piss people off, and will never understand the life lessons I didn't even ask for, and will end getting my ass kicked... the point of continuing the thread seems lost on me Perhaps it's time to cut my losses and call it a day. I appreciate you taking the time to reply, as even overly negative comments have some learning value for me.

rdor, I consider myself intelligent by any standard. But continuing about this would take us to the 'bad place' again, as I never intended this post to be proving just how smart I really am. It's what most of you chose to focus on, but keep in mind we're on a forum for lonely people... that's why I'm here, because I'm lonely. It seems sympathy is easier to achieve if you are overly negative about yourself, but I'd rather be honest. And the truth is, I think I'm a wonderful person.

And as are you all, I'm sure. There's nothing wrong with liking yourself, loving yourself. After all, you're going to spend the rest of your life with yourself. As with most people, I have things I'm good at, and things I'm not good at. For instance, I'm terrible at practical things (bordering on an autistic level). But I am intelligent, and if it's relevant to a discussion I will mention it without hesitation, as it's nothing to be ashamed for.

 

[Lippy_Kid]

You see, I can't connect to most people even if I wanted to. I can help them, take care of them, listen to them, understand them... yet none of them can return the favor.Everyone stuck in his or her own life, unable to see the big picture. I *can* see this big picture, and it looks a bit like this: <3

You see, we are a young species, and still evolving. Eventually we'll outgrow all of our 'problems' and we will be at peace with ourselves, each other, other animals, the planet, and everything, really. I know this, because this calmness is already inside me. It's the result of years of thought and experience, but it's there and undeniably true. If I can feel it, we all can (and will, eventually).

See you talk about receiving life lessons you've never asked for but by your OP above you seem to offer out your share of life lessons and also appear unhappy that you are not receiving anything in return.

To be honest I don't get it, or you. You're what? Calm because you know that everything is going to turn out ok in the end and we will all be at one with the animals and planet? (both of which we are losing at an ever increasing rate of destruction of course but hey ho, somehow you've decided you're clever enough to not worry about all of that and 'know' it will be fine) well good for you but I just see a man burying his head in the sand of his own ego.

I don’t see what you are doing to facilitate that utopia, other than moaning that you are just too clever to function. I suppose the lesser minions of the world will have to turn this world around for you instead then while you sit cross legged on a cloud somewhere appreciating your self proclaimed martyrdom to your own genius.

Christ man, get your head out of the sand or whatever dark place you've buried it and contribute something meaningful to this world rather than wasting your life deciding you're some enlightened being who is just above it all.

Why are you so smart? Because your therapist told you? That guy you're paying $$$$$ an hour to listen to your ramblings? You can have my advice for free; you're deluding yourself; drop the God complex and change your therapist.

 

[Superman]

Rest assured, I try every day to contribute something meaningful to the world but am painfully aware that I haven't succeeded yet. I don't have a God complex, the knowledge I have obtained has proven most useless in practical situations... If I was God, I'd change something. I have not yet given up though that one day I will find a project where I can throw myself into completely, and end up with a result that improves the world.

P.S. I enjoyed the way your last post was written... especially the mental picture I got from this sentence made me smile: "I don’t see what you are doing to facilitate that utopia, other than moaning that you are just too clever to function. I suppose the lesser minions of the world will have to turn this world around for you instead then while you sit cross legged on a cloud somewhere appreciating your self proclaimed martyrdom to your own genius." Ha, ha, ha

 

[Lippy_Kid]

Rest assured, I try every day to contribute something meaningful to the world but am painfully aware that I haven't succeeded yet. I don't have a God complex, the knowledge I have obtained has proven most useless in practical situations... If I was God, I'd change something. I have not yet given up though that one day I will find a project where I can throw myself into completely, and end up with a result that improves the world.

P.S. I enjoyed the way your last post was written... especially the mental picture I got from this sentence made me smile: "I don’t see what you are doing to facilitate that utopia, other than moaning that you are just too clever to function. I suppose the lesser minions of the world will have to turn this world around for you instead then while you sit cross legged on a cloud somewhere appreciating your self proclaimed martyrdom to your own genius." Ha, ha, ha

Well my post was a constructive rant, sometimes that has more of an effect, often it just winds people up but credit due for not letting it

So what’s your background? Age, marrital status, I'm assuming you're single from what you've said but don’t wish to presume. Can you not see the beauty in the normality of life? Just to fall in love and commit and have a child and love them and bring them up to be a benefit to society. Some were born to greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them as the saying goes but I think personally many find greatness through pure chance. There are many exceptional people leading ordinary lives, just doing the 2.4 children thing trying to make it work. Don’t waste your life away frustrated by lofty ideals, find love, deal with matters of the heart and see how that changes you. You might find it gives you a basis and inspiration to go on and achieve something great or it might just mean you bring another good soul or two into the world so that through your guidance and probably their good fortune they can achieve something that you never had the chance to. The world needs good people born to people who care because rest assured theres plenty being born into ****** and ignorant life’s who are doomed from the start.

Just don’t waste your life away dreaming and tying yourself up in knots you know? Lead a normal life, think a little less, don’t try to change someone, ask nothing in return than she understands you and hope that the more inspired elements that you long for, happen as you go along. Step off your pedestal, its getting you nowhere and by your own admission its a lonely place to be.

I'm done anyway. Good luck.

 

[Alienated]

Did you ever consider studying know methods of reaching conclusions that have been proven to work, before thinking you have put them all to shame with your Evolved superiority . You left out some Necessary facts about life....

*********************************************************************************************
You said in your OP : I honestly would like to contribute something truly meaningful to the world, but I have not found it yet. But first things first: In order to be able to fulfill my potential and create something extraordinary, I must first live. ALSO

I can help them, take care of them, listen to them, understand them... yet none of them can return the favor. Everyone stuck in his or her own life, unable to see the big picture. I *can* see this big picture, and it looks a bit like this: <3


Here's just a thought from a inferior less evolved humanoid :

Besides paying Pseudo psychologist : Witch ( And I meant to use that spelling)..can be thought of as unsupported information or even superstition, which is passed off as being scientific fact.
The prefix pseudo- (from Greek "lying, false") is used to mark something as false, fraudulent, or pretending to be something it is not.1. not actually but having the appearance of; pretended; false or spurious; sham.

With the Synonyms: quasi, would-be, virtual, wannabe, to all intents and purposes, self-styled, mockery.


Isn't that what a prostitute does ? You pay them money to make you feel good, by pretending to care about you ??

One of the BASIC abilities of a human, is the ability to communicate. I could walk into a tribe of people that has NEVER seen a white man, or anyone else. And can communicate that I have much to offer. Just by pulling out a cigarette and lighting it with a lighter. Or even Alka-Seltzer And blow their minds !! With Plop Polp fizz fizz Oh what a relief it is !!

So we are waiting partner..... Blow our minds........So Superman Flick your Bic !!

 

[Superman]

Yeah, I'm afraid you lost me there. I feel like saying some things, but I would just be repeating myself. I HATE repeating myself. Thanks for all the replies, but I think it's time to wrap this up. Perhaps I'll start a new thread in the near future, but likely not about my intelligence