IQ and loneliness

[Qui]

I'm stupid and lonely. I always seem to say the wrong thing.

How does saying the wrong thing tie into stupidity?

I haven't read anything hinting at your lack of intellect.

those two statements weren't directly related.
I'm stupid, and I often say the wrong thing.
I suppose the reason I don't seem so stupid here is that I have time to think things over. I mean, I'm dumb as a post but worse than that I'm really really slow in the head.
Which is why I'm basically a conversational failure.

 

[Bluey]

I'm stupid and lonely. I always seem to say the wrong thing.

How does saying the wrong thing tie into stupidity?

I haven't read anything hinting at your lack of intellect.

those two statements weren't directly related.
I'm stupid, and I often say the wrong thing.
I suppose the reason I don't seem so stupid here is that I have time to think things over. I mean, I'm dumb as a post but worse than that I'm really really slow in the head.
Which is why I'm basically a conversational failure.

Poppycock!

I have told you be for, You are about as far away from stupid as anyone could get.

OK on here you have time to think about it, Me too, this why I like the forums. But at lest when you do think about it you then end up with something that's worth reading huh

Your writing and grammar is very much advanced for your years. I wish I was as stupid as you. maybe then I would not have to use spell check be for I posted every time?

Stupid Qui!! :club:

 

[Chris 2]

It seems that high IQ and loneliness go together.
I have been really impressed as I read through some of the threads here. Most of the members here think and act above their peers.
Why intelligent people are unhappy
It is no secret that Einstein used to be a loner himself.
Your thoughts on this?

I'm not smart, but I am extremely lonely, why???

 

[Ghost]

I have noticed a connection between depression and intelligence. Being depressed doesn't mean that you are intelligent, but I think intelligent people are likely to become lonely and depressed because they usually have a very difficult time meeting people who they can relate to and their awareness of the state of the world can drag them down too. I have also found that intelligent people often have personalities that render them emotionally vulnerable even if they are not depressed.

I think some of the people who posted on this thread are more intelligent than they think they are. Having low self-esteem can completely distort how you perceive yourself.

 

[Porman]

It seems that high IQ and loneliness go together.
I have been really impressed as I read through some of the threads here. Most of the members here think and act above their peers.
Why intelligent people are unhappy
It is no secret that Einstein used to be a loner himself.
Your thoughts on this?

Wrong. einstein had a wife and family, he was famous ffs, he was not lonely.

 

[Porman]

bah wasnt thinking straight when i wrote this :S

 

[Skorian]

bah wasnt thinking straight when i wrote this :S

I believe this is untrue. As I recall he had a wife for a while and lost her.

He also couldn't even drive a car.



Some of what Closet's saying is true.

When you’re interested in things that others can't even understand, then it becomes hard to hang out with people. When you can't see eye to eye with those who are more interested in just goofing off. Where I find it extremely lame. It is like watching someone twiddle their thumbs for hours on end or watching grass grow.

It doesn’t help that the average IQ in the US is dropping due to several factors.

When you go to college and get nearly perfect scores without even studying and others are failing, they don't like you much, especially when it is on a curve. I never studied and while it did get me in trouble at times, when I gave a darn I was dangerous. I would always just remember lectures from weeks past and use that to answer tests. Never really understood why others struggle so much.

It can also irritate the hell out of people when they struggle to do something for an hour and you can simply walk up, look at a problem and solve it in less than 20 seconds.

In high school I read over 100 books. I didn't even bother trying to talk to folks.

And it also gets annoying being told you’re a genius by people, when no matter how smart you are it doesn't solve all your problems. They are trying to compliment you and all you see is "what good is it”, and "I am a damn idiot"? It sucks to be smart enough to see the faults of human awareness. To see limitations that it isn't even possible to overcome because they are defined by the very nature of human biology. Or in other words contemplate what is perfection and see flat out it is impossible to reach. That everything solution also comes with a problem. To constantly see things that are wrong, but there isn't a useful thing you can say or really do about it.

The oddest thing about intelligence though is that the smarter people are the dumber they are in some things. Some people can build a computer, but not tie their own shoes. Or simple grammar can elude them.

*head explodes*

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm not sure if intelligents has anything to do with my lonliness.

I mean...I was having dinner the other night with a couple of doctors.
They were discussing white cells blood counts on a patience and all the other medical terms
of how in the hell they were to care for this particular patience.
I'm no expert in that field...but hey, I'm a good listener and I had a general idea what they were
talking about. The converstations also shifted to other subjects, jokes or life experinces.
Not once did I felt out of place nor I didn't belong.

I also have other millionair friends. Heck...I even lived in his massion for a year.
Not once did I felt out of place or made to feel i was less than.
He was an expert in his fields. We work together. I can read and comprehend contructions
symbals...etc. However there's many things that I don't fulley comprehend; regulations...etc
I listen, pay attention and learn from him. Lots of machincal aptitude,comprehension, mathematic calulations
Lmao..I actually taught him how to read electronic blue print/sechmatics or electronics theories.
****..I took algebra in elementary school. My IQ score was pretty damn high from my SAT test from HS.
The usaf used my sat score from my junior year in HS..lol

See.. the thing about it is..I used to go home every night and rip on my guitar or play my music.
My doctor and millioniar friends are totally fucken clueless if I want to discuss music theory or
music comprehension. They all seen me play my guitar with thier jaw drop..lmao
I can discuss or talk about music to other musicians all day, all night and never get bored of it.

I used to belong to an R/C flying club. We can discuss about aviation...the history of aviation,
The thousands of aircraft designs, aerodynamic, machaincal principles, electronics, wood work..etc.
All kinds of theories of the aviations that an average person would fine not perticular interesting.
Lots and lots of smart guys out at the flight line

See...I'm totally fucken clueless of what colure lipstick matches better with what colure fucken shoes
For the longest time I was totally fucken clueless about how women FEEL...
I had to learn how to get in touch with my emotions inorder to help better understand women.
I'm no expert at it..but I'm not as clueless as I used to be about human's emotions.


Some people might know the english language, use that as sheild, and get egotistic about it...
but have no fucken common sence...such as not steping on dog **** when walking in a striaght line.
Most if not all the women I've been involved with are walking and talking dictionaries...but i kid you
not..none of them knows how to check the fucken oil dip stick in our automobiles...
They actaully find my lack of perfection of the english language smexy
It brings a sort of balance into the relationship...
Such as..."hey honey...what the **** is this son of bitch writing to me about,.... using all of these multy syllabal
words and how the hell do I spell "**** you" in fucken Russian ? "...lmao

I don't belive I'm that bad.
English is not my first language....it's all fucken backwards from my native language.
If I slow down,..take my sweet ass time and go back to make corrections, it's not bad.
I can start using fucken magical enlighten words but most of the people I inneract with in real life arn't like that.lmao
They'll probably think I was on fucken dope and speaking in fucken tongues if I try to impressed them.
Hell, I even tried to learn Spanish for a little while recently.
It's actaully cool...most if not all the latina babes find it smexy when I asked them to help me.

Here's the thing...I read a lot. I can comprehend everything I read. If I come across words that
I don't undertand, I have plenty of dictionaries or I can simply google.
Some of it retains and some of it dosn't.

I don't have dyslexia...becuase I can read and comprehend.
It's my fucken writing. It's either becuase my damn keyboard fucken sticks and I type with my fucken kuckles.lol
I also have a mild form of LOGLEXIA.
I don't see the mistakes when I write it.
However I do see it after I read my fucken post...lmao
It dosn't have anything to do with my IQ.

What's cool about it is...I comprehend proper english or not so proper english.
It's just through simple associations...
I understand exactly what Pie writes and what he means.
I think he writes like that on purpose to express his personalities. It has nothing to do with his IQ.

It's the same as all the texting codes...I don't understand all of it..It's a different language in itself.

I belive it has to do with me respecting another person and accepting them as who they are when
it comes to communications. I had to learned that the hard way when I was rasing my duaghters
when they were only 3-5. Nope...that talking down to them and treating them less than a human being
didn't last too damn long. Those little kids thought me a thing or two about life.
I had to wise up...

As a very well education woman said:
"you won't understand a person unless you love/care/cherish/repect them."
Love and undersranding takes time, patient and tolerance.
It's not all about me, yet it is. I can't give what I don't have.
If I don't love and repect myself ...I can't give that love and repect to others.

If i can't tolerate others...bacailly...there's something inside of me that I don't like about myself
that I see in the other person.

In other words...how I treat other people or view other people..dosn't really have anything to do with the other person.
It's just a reflection of what's going on inside of me...Bascailly I project myself onto others. It's just my perception.

 

[Arnaert]

I'm not very intelligent & I'm lonely. I wish I could be intelligent so I could at least have that as a positive but I don't so I have nothing.

 

[wiahwib]

Agrees with the article about education. That's why I hate school
I wished I could learn whatever I want and not worry about grades and whether I'd be able to get a job that makes me lots of money even if I hate it.

 

[Paradiddle]

The article makes some good points, but why would adults assume intellectually smart students wouldn't have social problems. Whether my child was smart or dumb, I'd still be concerned with there social life and wouldn't make a judgment based on their report card. I also think times change, when I was in high school less than 4 years ago, some of the most respected popular kids were intelligent, I think general school policy kind of enforces the concept that doing well in class is important to success and being able to do what you want when you grow up and kids get that and not that its "uncool". Then again, there will always be the really nerdy kids . I would agree that within smaller ranges of intelligent levels, the higher levels being the most sparse, the less people available to relate to on that level of thinking and thus less friends and more loneliness.

 

[PoisonFlowers]

I'm not sure if intelligents has anything to do with my lonliness.

...

If i can't tolerate others...bacailly...there's something inside of me that I don't like about myself
that I see in the other person.

In other words...how I treat other people or view other people..dosn't really have anything to do with the other person.
It's just a reflection of what's going on inside of me...Bascailly I project myself onto others. It's just my perception.

Bloody heck. It's as if I just had a mini epiphany. Thank you for that. If I were to go on that to judge your character, I'd say that you're a very cool person. You are indeed very intelligent

Why do you think you're lonely then?

Hmm..going back to the original topic, I think that there have been some great points given already. I just can't help thinking about how lots of very intelligent people are admired by their peers and thus become liked and popular. Or is that just the people on top; the select few who have a certain personality combination?

 

[kjanine]

You realize at a young age, that you don't think like everyone else...that your thinking is so much different, you enjoy some of the same physical activities...but mentally you are on a different plane. What really interests you is deep thinking or understanding of some particular subject. So you hide the fact you know all this stuff, if you accidentally let on you know something - then you get teased so you do stuff to fit in. Like getting bad grades purposefully or trying to help someone with a test (cause they ask) by giving them all the answers because you know all the answers and you are hoping that - THEN you will fit in. Trying to fit in to a world, that in a mainstream sense - is nothing like you. And so you find idle chit-chat simply exhausting...trying to think of the right things to say or things that will interest "them" instead of what you are really thinking about...like how you're gonna rewire all that electrical stuff and you're trying to make some decisions about that or you're working on a solution in the back of your mind to a problem and it will pop up in your mind at any time.

What I should have done is to go on to advanced degrees in biology or the sciences...and then maybe I could have been around my own kind. Instead I do technical computer work and am self taught...I find it easy, sometimes too easy, I do have a great job...but I feel frustrated because I don't see how this stuff doesn't make sense to people...AND I feel so ALONE in my head. As I told my mom...I feel like an orangutan in a room full of monkeys...
Someone said "Intelligent people are admired by their peers and thus become liked and popular..." the problem is more like you become needed, then necessary, then critically necessary - and all the while...you just wanted to fit in...

 

[A Desolate Soul]

here's a post from someone else in a different forum when i was looking up Intelligence and loneliness and it is very insightful.

"Intelligence is not scalable across all areas of life. A person who is a brilliant writer is not necessarily smarter or less smart than a brilliant mathematician. Usually what people attribute to as the 'Intelligent' people, especially when self attributing, is the ability to calculate, predict, and pattern match. These skills are used because they are generally fundamentally easy to measure. The answers are generally binary, right or wrong, with little area left for opinion, taste, or interpretation.

People who are good at calculating, predicting, and pattern matching generally are left brain dominant, which, while having some advantages, lacks the some of the core skills of true empathy, emotional expression, and ability to be influenced by suggestion. Empathy, emotional expression, and suggestibility, are very important in the early stages of a relationship. They help form a bond between two people and allow them to interrelate on a more visceral level. Without these components, the early relationship is awkward, somewhat sterile, and generally lacks that 'magic' we've been trained to look for. As one gets older, the abilities deteriorate further, while the experience of calculating, predicting, and pattern matching get keener. This adds even more difficulty.

The reason chicks dig musicians is not because they are rock stars, but because most successful musicians are right brain dominant, so they might appear dumb because they can't subtract 32 from 87 in their head, but they can very easily understand and empathize with the people they are with."

interesting stuff. I've took about 5 different quizzes to determine if I'm right brain or left brain dominant. the results were about the same. I'm left brain dominant but not by a whole lot. definitely going to research more into it

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^It's called the Theory of Multiple Intelligences.

This refers to nine distinct regions of intelligence that exist and each of us is more intelligent in 2-3 of those regions than we are in the others... so you can have a person who is musically a genius and yet can't add and subtract. Or you can have an athlete who knows calorie-conversion rates and how to make a perfect high-jump and yet can't spell worth ****.

These are the nine regions of intelligence:

* Spatial
* Linguistic
* Logical-mathematical
* Bodily-kinesthetic
* Musical
* Interpersonal
* Intrapersonal
* Naturalistic
* Existential

Like I said... take a minute to think about it and you'll see that you are mostly intelligent in 2-3 of these regions, or even fewer. So don't ever let anyone tell you you're a complete moron unless you think that NONE of these nine areas describes your interest (or what you're good at).

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
That's very interesting, BadJediDude, I like it. I would also add "common sense" or "street smarts" to the list

Teresa

 

[Jessica1]

I def think IQ and loneliness go together. For example I grew up with engineers and I was the "artist" one. I just don't feel interested in the topics most people discuss or women such as makeup, shopping, etc. Sometimes I attempt to "fit in" and join these conversations but I feel intense boredom. However, I love to read deep books, think about life after death, and philosophical artistic type subjects, so emmm, it's not so easy to find people interested in these things, even in church! lol! My last bf was an episcopal priest, we had some cool converstations which I didn't find boring. I real the original works of Martin Luther, Immanual Kant, etc. for fun, so you can see, most would not be interested in these things, and I am not interesting in the new nail color by Revlon. I find some of my greatest companions in books. I enjoy long hours of solitude. I recently got married to someone very opposite and I am adjusting to having my solitude interrupted but we are learning how to live together and spend time alone. It's a balance. The most important thing is understanding and accepting your introverted self in an extro world. I'm sure if we all lived in asia we might not be so "different" enjoying all this solitude Just a thought.

 

[kjanine]

I def think IQ and loneliness go together. For example I grew up with engineers and I was the "artist" one. I just don't feel interested in the topics most people discuss or women such as makeup, shopping, etc. Sometimes I attempt to "fit in" and join these conversations but I feel intense boredom. However, I love to read deep books, think about life after death, and philosophical artistic type subjects, so emmm, it's not so easy to find people interested in these things, even in church! lol! My last bf was an episcopal priest, we had some cool converstations which I didn't find boring. I real the original works of Martin Luther, Immanual Kant, etc. for fun, so you can see, most would not be interested in these things, and I am not interesting in the new nail color by Revlon. I find some of my greatest companions in books. I enjoy long hours of solitude. I recently got married to someone very opposite and I am adjusting to having my solitude interrupted but we are learning how to live together and spend time alone. It's a balance. The most important thing is understanding and accepting your introverted self in an extro world. I'm sure if we all lived in asia we might not be so "different" enjoying all this solitude Just a thought.

HI Jessica - I just wanted to say that I found your message very (welcoming), is the best way I could put it. Most people think I am a total left brain but truly it is the other way around. I "see" things in my head such as electrical circuits or how engines work - it just makes total sense and looks easy. Being a woman, I am like a fish-out-of-water in this regard. I think one IQ test said I was a visual mathematician - I am more right brained, and that is where I understand technical stuff without the training. I wanted you to know I could really relate to your post - I found it fascinating that your last bf was a priest! How ironic and interesting to say the least. Typically and I don't mean this as a slant to anyone, but the people I have met who are very religious have always been so hypocritical and closed minded that I couldn't relate to the 6 days a week you can be a total *** and then on the 7th, well you're forgiven and then start the same all over again. To have a priest who was interesting and it sounds open minded and generally 'engaged' with the world...must have been enlightening! anyway I DO appreciate the other posts as well - just wanted to say It's nice to know you are all out there!!! :shy:

 

[jackdone]

Being depressed does not mean you're smart, but I think that intelligent people tend to be lonely and depressed because they usually know people very difficult for them to identify themselves and their knowledge of the state of the world can turn drag. They also found that intelligent people tend to have personalities that make them vulnerable emotionally, even when they are depressed.

 

[ShybutHi]

Yes well in a way it is kind of logical that alot of lonely/introverted people are intelligent and ofcourse alot of it stems from the childhood school days.

I think one of the reasons is because introverted people often involve themselves in more intellectual type activities partially because they dont have many people to identify with so thats where their time goes. I think i could safely say im quite an intelligent person and quite introverted, the people i used to hang around with in school were the more geeky types we used to always talk and do computery type things, mentally stimulating games or things like Dungeons and Dragons or Magic the Gathering card game at around 11-12 years old.
Alot of my friends were top students, one was rediculously good at maths, perhaps a mathmatical genius but very introverted types we used to hide in a free classroom during lunchtime's instead of playing football or chasing girls like alot of the other kids. For me personally, although i never really excelled in school, i was always very very good with computers and also music.