is not wanting kids really that weird?

[edgecrusher]

whenever i tell this to someone they either laugh it off like i am joking or they act like something is wrong with me. or they tell me i will when i get older. ill be 30 in less than 3 months, i dont think that applies anymore. i have never really been a kid person. and ill admit that a large part of it is for a selfish reason. i want to be able to do what i want to do and i dont want to take care of someone for like 20 years of my life. does anyone else understand where i am coming from? and how am i ever supposed to find a woman that doesnt want kids?

 

[Sprint]

whenever i tell this to someone they either laugh it off like i am joking or they act like something is wrong with me. or they tell me i will when i get older. ill be 30 in less than 3 months, i dont think that applies anymore. i have never really been a kid person. and ill admit that a large part of it is for a selfish reason. i dont want tio take care of someone for like 20 years of my life. does anyone else understand where i am coming from? and how am i ever supposed to find a woman that doesnt want kids?

I know several women who don't want kids. If this is really that important to you then I would make it one of the first questions asked before things get too "serious" with a woman.

Also, I understand where you're coming from. I don't want kids either. A lot of people (both male and female) feel this way for various reasons.

 

[JamaisVu]

It's not weird but it is a cultural thing. In my home state everyone wanted to get married and have children, people were very traditional. In my current state there are plenty of people in their 30s and 40s who are happy without children. It's more rare to see families. Nontraditional relationships and lifestyles are much more accepted here. You just have to find the right people.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Far as I know, most guy friends I have possess a rather ardent fear of children. I would like children someday, but not yet now.

 

[WishingWell]

I always thought I wanted children, but then decided that I wasn't the kind of person who could deal with the responsiblities of bringing up kids. I am 54 now and have no regrets that I never had any. I totally agree with Sprint...make sure one of the first things you discuss with a woman is the fact that you don't want to be a Father.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I rtasied kids...and I dont believe being a father will ever stop until the day I die....If anything its alot harder now that my duaghters are in thier early adulthood. They have bigger problems..

No..I dont believe its a selffish thing of you to not wanting children. Theres lots of people in this world without children or wanna raise children. Some people arnt family centered. Some people arent

 

[SofiasMami]

i want to be able to do what i want to do and i dont want to take care of someone for like 20 years of my life.

Not just 20 years, my friend, once you're a parent, you're a parent forever. I don't think it's weird to not want kids. I think it's more of a personal choice and it's really none of anyone's (except a significant other) business whether or not you want kids.
I have friends who are married but no kids after a length of time. I never ask "so when are you having kids?" I used to get this question when I was married. It just seems like a nosy question.

Teresa

 

[Limlim]

I think I'd be total **** around kids. Not gonna lie.

 

[LoneKiller]

Children really stick in my craw.

 

[Badjedidude]

I don't want kids right now.

I think I might want a daughter eventually. But... ****, I want to spend some years being wild with a wifey first. Before kids come in and ruin sex for the rest of my life.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

It's nothing unusual. For some people kids aren't their thing.

 

[Vagrant Legacy]

I really, really don't want any of those screaming harpies around. Ever. Damn things suck you dry of money, happiness (if anyone even has any of that..), time, and effort. And what do you get in return?
Exactly.

But it's not just that. I also just loathe this world too much - I couldn't bear the thought of a son/daughter of mine to have to suffer through this life, especially not with the direction this society is headed in.

 

[WishingWell]

SofiasMami said to never ask someone why they don't have kids. It IS a nosey question, and what if the answer is like someone very dear to me, that she can't have any. She couldn't wait until her childbearing years were over and now they ask Why did you never have kids? It's sad.

I love kids, babysitting during my life was fun! I used to get in the blow up kiddy pool with my nephew when he was 2 and crawl around with him and my niece on the floor when they were toddlers. It earned me some spending money babysitting (juggling them) a neighbor's three kids every weekend when I was in high shcool too.

Like I said earlier in an earlier post, I don't have kids and am sure I made the right choice. I just wasn't mean to be a parent.

 

[freedom]

yeah, people will laugh at you for saying such things. they laugh at me every time i mention it, or look at me like i'm the reincarnation of hitler. i totally agree with what you're saying. as for finding a woman that also doesn't want to have kids, that's the tough part. the only one's i know that don't want any kids are the one's that don't want any MORE because they already have like five or six.

there are bound to be some out there.

 

[Equinox]

Indeed there are. I'm a woman, and I do not want kids. Like someone else mentioned, I can't stand the thought of not being able to do what I want, when I want. I'm already too tied down by my job, and the remaining five-six hours of the afternoon/evening before bedtime must be free for me to do something fun or relaxing, or I'll go completely nuts.

Never say never, though. Just because I can't picture myself ever having kids, doesn't mean it can't change. But for now, just the thought of a screaming, drooling baby (and diapers!) makes me want to cringe. Also, I have a friend who has two kids (currently aged 2 and 4 or something), and after visiting them for just a couple of hours, I get a splitting headache and can't wait to get back home to my clean, empty, quiet flat. Don't get me wrong; I like kids - as long as I can give them away the second the go from cute and fun to loud and annoying.

I rarely mention this to people I don't know very well, e.g. co-workers. It's like the OP says - I just get the weird "what is WRONG with you?" looks or the overbearing "that'll change when you get older". I do know a few people who agrees with me, though (some are even women), so at least I know I'm not completely alone on this.

 

[SofiasMami]

Indeed there are. I'm a woman, and I do not want kids. Like someone else mentioned, I can't stand the thought of not being able to do what I want, when I want. I'm already too tied down by my job, and the remaining five-six hours of the afternoon/evening before bedtime must be free for me to do something fun or relaxing, or I'll go completely nuts.

Never say never, though. Just because I can't picture myself ever having kids, doesn't mean it can't change. But for now, just the thought of a screaming, drooling baby (and diapers!) makes me want to cringe. Also, I have a friend who has two kids (currently aged 2 and 4 or something), and after visiting them for just a couple of hours, I get a splitting headache and can't wait to get back home to my clean, empty, quiet flat. Don't get me wrong; I like kids - as long as I can give them away the second the go from cute and fun to loud and annoying.

I rarely mention this to people I don't know very well, e.g. co-workers. It's like the OP says - I just get the weird "what is WRONG with you?" looks or the overbearing "that'll change when you get older". I do know a few people who agrees with me, though (some are even women), so at least I know I'm not completely alone on this.

I'm lucky that my kiddo inherited my introverted personality. She's five now and I can sometimes tell her that I need some space when I need a little down time and she'll give me my space.
I always liked kids but never realized how much until I had one of my own. She's just a joy to have around.
But I'll say again that I don't think it's weird at all to not want kids. Thank god we, especially women (in developed countries), can make a choice on whether or not to have kids. So if someone tells you it's weird to not want kids, just ignore them-

Teresa

 

[fightclub]

I was open to the idea of kids but when it came to the crunch I was not in a stable job or where I wanted to be in life IE settled, I told this to my partner and then she was pregnant.

My kids are the best thing that has happened to me they are my only true freinds in the world they are the only people who really care about me they are all I have. I wanted to have kids later but the thing was I probably would have never got that perfect job or training. Also I realised about having kids older is you will be really old when they are in their late teens which I dont think is the best situation.

A total contradiction is when you split up your kids are all you have to keep going I had some real evil stuff go on when I split including games with the kids. That said if I didnt have kids that break up would have been so much easier. I still have to deal with alkind of unpleasant stuff I wish I could just leave behing leave the country infact.

As for kids being a chore I think there is a bit of a selfish kind of subject here they are not that much hard work they eat next to nothing and are easily pleased with the most simple things such as a garden hose and some water. I am very pleased with my unplanned kids I think I was wrong when I said I didnt want to have any due to not having a great job you can raise kids on nothing and be happy. I think I would really regret not having kids now I am single old and unwanted.

I hope this doesnt seem like I am disagreeing or making anyone feel wrong its just my experience everyone is different.

 

[Tristeza]

As someone stated before me, it's not weird - it's your personal choice and a choice that you shouldn't feel the need to explain to anyone. Just like it's rude to ask a newly married couple when they are going to start having kids, it's rude to ask a child-free couple why they don't want kids.

 

[Arcane]

I don't think its weird. I think its nothing but SELFISH to procreate in todays world

 

[edgecrusher]

thanks for the replies everyone