Is something wrong with me?

[Veruca]

Hello,

I used to be on this forum sometime back. Back when it didn't have 7000+ members! Wow!

Well, since then, I've come to deal with my loneliness. I've had a pretty eventful life in the sense that I've had a lot of opportunities to grow and find myself. So thankfully, with a lot of soul searching, what used to be loneliness, is now mostly solitude.

But that said, these days, the old lonely feeling is creeping back in again.

I never imagined I would be so unwanted and rejected at this point in my life. And the worst part is, I don't know why I am single. I am an intelligent, fun, educated and attractive woman. And people tell me that I am a good person, a good friend. I am not the clingy, emotional type either. And just for the record, I am no psycho lol. So for the life of me I don't know why no one wants me.

The guys I get set on dates with don't want anything other than friendship, and everytime I go out with my girlfriends, guys approach them and never me. So I don't get it. I know its not because of my looks, but what else could it be? Its almost as if I have a neon sigh on my head that says, stay away....

I needed to vent. Thanks for reading =)

 

[Jonah]

Hello,

I used to be on this forum sometime back. Back when it didn't have 7000+ members! Wow!

Well, since then, I've come to deal with my loneliness. I've had a pretty eventful life in the sense that I've had a lot of opportunities to grow and find myself. So thankfully, with a lot of soul searching, what used to be loneliness, is now mostly solitude.

But that said, these days, the old lonely feeling is creeping back in again.

I never imagined I would be so unwanted and rejected at this point in my life. And the worst part is, I don't know why I am single. I am an intelligent, fun, educated and attractive woman. And people tell me that I am a good person, a good friend. I am not the clingy, emotional type either. And just for the record, I am no psycho lol. So for the life of me I don't know why no one wants me.

The guys I get set on dates with don't want anything other than friendship, and everytime I go out with my girlfriends, guys approach them and never me. So I don't get it. I know its not because of my looks, but what else could it be? Its almost as if I have a neon sigh on my head that says, stay away....

I needed to vent. Thanks for reading =)

Hi Veruca

I read you post and find you interesting as a person who very much reminds me of myself. I have no problems in life veruca because I was in pain with lonliness thousands of miles away from home. I had a very bad relationship but I learnt from it. I have been single ever since but thats my strength of never needing to much from life. I have myself.

I am intelligent, a good height and I think I'm attractive but not vein. You know veruca I know the reason for us been not able to find a partner or become unable to get a partner. It's not out fault, it's other people that distract the ones we like away from us. We could perhaps talk about this in pm some time if you wish.

I'm a nice guy but I would never with words, the mind or any form of communication try to take someones wishes away frrom them example someone we fancy, love or desire to be with. I live a good life and have some interesting friends but they are in a realtionship.

Veruca there is one thing that i would like to mention to you. If you would like to be friends as I truelly believe that your not unwanted. you don't have to be lonley and me either we can talk and be friends. I'm new on here but have lot's of experience with people, ive travelled around the world for the last ten years. This is why i believe i ve been alone, i have far to much to share but only with the right people. hope you can join me in conversation on here.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Hello,

I used to be on this forum sometime back. Back when it didn't have 7000+ members! Wow!

Well, since then, I've come to deal with my loneliness. I've had a pretty eventful life in the sense that I've had a lot of opportunities to grow and find myself. So thankfully, with a lot of soul searching, what used to be loneliness, is now mostly solitude.

But that said, these days, the old lonely feeling is creeping back in again.

I never imagined I would be so unwanted and rejected at this point in my life. And the worst part is, I don't know why I am single. I am an intelligent, fun, educated and attractive woman. And people tell me that I am a good person, a good friend. I am not the clingy, emotional type either. And just for the record, I am no psycho lol. So for the life of me I don't know why no one wants me.

The guys I get set on dates with don't want anything other than friendship, and everytime I go out with my girlfriends, guys approach them and never me. So I don't get it. I know its not because of my looks, but what else could it be? Its almost as if I have a neon sigh on my head that says, stay away....

I needed to vent. Thanks for reading =)

It may be that you are such an ideal partner that it scares guys off.

Sounds stupid, but it's harder to ask out or talk to a really nice, attractive woman, even if we really want to. I find I only get shy and useless vocally around pretty, intelligent and friendly girls. So that might be part of your problem

Although I'm male, I feel like I'm in the parallel situation. I won't bang on about that though, I rehash it in enough threads. I think it's a pretty common feeling - "Why not me?"

The simple answer is luck and probability. I think it's just a case of the right person at the right time, right place to some extent.

Otherwise, perhaps look at your friends and see if they have any behaviour patterns that give off different signals to you. I'd say a big tip is to smile at guys you like.

Something as simple as a smile really helps us understand that you might be interested in us, which in turn boosts our confidence and increases likelihood that we'll do something about it.

As for the "friendship on dates" thing, I'm afraid I have no idea. I kind of get the same thing, though I haven't even got to proper "date" level :\

Best of luck, keep sending out positive body language and acting yourself and hopefully you'll find someone who will appreciate you.

Feel free drop me a PM if you want to talk about this in more depth at all.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I've had plenty of women asked me out...So maybe you might try
that route and just take control over your own destiny rather
them wait for guys to ask you out.

It's probably not going to be easy becuase of the customs we
had gotten used to..but a lot of men actaully like a woman to
approch them more than you think.

It's just the begining or dating stages anyways. Relationships
takes time to grow or develope...so don't get too hung up if you
do have to approach men...beside it would be men of your chosing.

So rather then go through the song and dance of flirting with men,
giving them hints...( a lot of times it's not you..becuz men are retarted...don't get a clue or hints . Women actaully scars the living
**** out of some of them)..you'll save yourself time and these
mental crap wondering if there's something wrong with ya. You might
be more attractive than you think. Cuz guys are afraid of good looking
women or think they don't deserve to be with a beautiful loving women cuz the have issues or think they're not good enough. So it's not always you if guys don't approch you. Just read some of the posts..posted by dudes that's afraid of women or have no clue about women on this site...you'll get a general idea.

You might have to go through rejections or getting turned down
from time to time...but just take a bussiness approch to it...as the
same as you would put out resumes...dozens upon dozens before
to get an interview or a job. This way you won't take it too personally
or internalize in a negative way towards yourself.

Maybe have a make over or change of woredrob.
My GF has tons of clothe and stuff like that. She changes her looks
constantly..even when we're together. She' been pretty happy for the most part lately..she's glowing. I think she's pretty anyways...but
when she's feeling down or depress you can tell the differences

 

[Intranetusa]

If a woman is too attractive, then it becomes extremely intimidating for regular guys to ask her out.

Usually it's the players or really good looking & confident guys who have the courage to ask out the extremely attractive women.


As for attractiveness, why don't you post a picture and we'll judge if this is the case?

 

[Bluescreendeath]

Awww, I feel for you. Keep trying and you'll find someone good. Good luck and be careful!

 

[Veruca]

If a woman is too attractive, then it becomes extremely intimidating for regular guys to ask her out.

Usually it's the players or really good looking & confident guys who have the courage to ask out the extremely attractive women.


As for attractiveness, why don't you post a picture and we'll judge if this is the case?

Haha, I don't think I'm too attractive. And I'm too paranoid to put up a picture of myself here! =D

---

Thank you for your comments and support guys! I really appreciate it.

I am in no way super gorgeous or anything. In fact, I used to be quite unattractive I think (glasses/unflattering clothes), and it affected my self esteem a lot. But I worked hard to change my appearance when I went to college and although I still don't consider myself very attractive, I know I can't be so bad given that guys check me out and pay me compliments. But I think after having such low self esteem for so long, I am still not used to getting male attention, and I think I don't have the confidence to attract them. In fact, I get very self conscious if a guy even looks at me, I feel like I am imagining it. Without my realizing it, I am probably just closing myself off to the world.

So I guess i'll take your advice and try to be more approachable. Smile and be open.

Thank you! =)

 

[Jonah]

If a woman is too attractive, then it becomes extremely intimidating for regular guys to ask her out.

Usually it's the players or really good looking & confident guys who have the courage to ask out the extremely attractive women.


As for attractiveness, why don't you post a picture and we'll judge if this is the case?

A good lady likes a man that can protect her, talk with her through troublesome times and also a woman needs to know she will be taken care of in the home, even with money but in my town this really doesn't exist, there isnt much work so i believe that true love, going back on what i've said should be able to be with been together whatever the downfall, through thick and thin. it's really more about supporting each other. If i found a rich girl would i be happy? sure i would take care of the kids, take them to school, pick them up and feed them. basically it's about the children also needing love too. I have been through enough to realise that love comes before anything although for me I have enough love to provide myself and the knowledge that I have is for the future of my own family. The children , poor parenthood and poor education has meant that children will come out of school without a job because my country needs to learn to live together and learn from each other. I'm a teacher and understand how to teach the children in a controlled manor. So is there something wrong with you. No you can find something in this life in the form of togetherness to support the country until the reccession is over in the way of understanding what is needed to move forward as a country. Feeling held back? I care about that and perhaps your feeling you should be above the rest, thats natural when you have worked hard to get where you are. England is not the place to be for the near future, experts mention that the country will be in debt until 2014. Do I believe that will stop me from moving forward. NEVER. I'll move forward with words of wisdom and help the people I love, friends or family.

 

[[email protected]]

My lady there is nothing wrong with you,you just have to be more outgoing as in be yourself the one that fancies you will come.Yes you are old enough and time might be running out but you just have to be patient and not despirate.Will love to be your friend not a pity friend or pity party,but a real one.Am Cyril and my email is [email protected],for further familiarities.Take care.[/font]

 

[hijodeganas]

Hello,

I used to be on this forum sometime back. Back when it didn't have 7000+ members! Wow!

Well, since then, I've come to deal with my loneliness. I've had a pretty eventful life in the sense that I've had a lot of opportunities to grow and find myself. So thankfully, with a lot of soul searching, what used to be loneliness, is now mostly solitude.

But that said, these days, the old lonely feeling is creeping back in again.

I never imagined I would be so unwanted and rejected at this point in my life. And the worst part is, I don't know why I am single. I am an intelligent, fun, educated and attractive woman. And people tell me that I am a good person, a good friend. I am not the clingy, emotional type either. And just for the record, I am no psycho lol. So for the life of me I don't know why no one wants me.

The guys I get set on dates with don't want anything other than friendship, and everytime I go out with my girlfriends, guys approach them and never me. So I don't get it. I know its not because of my looks, but what else could it be? Its almost as if I have a neon sigh on my head that says, stay away....

I needed to vent. Thanks for reading =)

Hi Veruca

I read you post and find you interesting as a person who very much reminds me of myself. I have no problems in life veruca because I was in pain with lonliness thousands of miles away from home. I had a very bad relationship but I learnt from it. I have been single ever since but thats my strength of never needing to much from life. I have myself.

I am intelligent, a good height and I think I'm attractive but not vein. You know veruca I know the reason for us been not able to find a partner or become unable to get a partner. It's not out fault, it's other people that distract the ones we like away from us. We could perhaps talk about this in pm some time if you wish.

It's other people's fault for "distracting" them away from you? That's one of the most unique descriptions of attraction or seduction I've ever heard.

If you sincerely believe that, why not learn how to "distract" them back? After all, you're obviously craving their attention, it may be a wortwhile skill. Just a thought.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm male....ex-military. I had a little bit of trainning about body posture.
Head up, back straight, chest out, And course my uniform had to be neat.

While I don't wear uniform anymore and dress more like a badboy...
My clothe are clean, belt line centered, clean shoe.
Little things I'm doing before I join the military.

I also take walks...I notice when I'm feeling down, I'll look down and stair at my shoes.
I'll sit down with my back huntch. Then I'll catch myself and discipline myself to
have better body posture. It might seem corny but I'll force myself to keep my head high
as I take a simple 2 miles walk.

I also had to work in the front office for a little while...dealing with custommers.
I had to keep a smile on my face all day and be socialable...making small talkes with
customers and stuff like that..

I was talking to my gf...even though she's not miitary or had anytype of formal trainning,
she said he also had to keep her head up high, cheast out,lol, and a smile on her face wheather she
felt like it or not.

Anyways, when my GF N I go out , we pretty much carry ourselves
like we own the place. Guys are alway looking at her or trying to hit up on her...at the sametime, I'm smexy too, I catch women looking
at me all the time.

The thing of it is...I'm average looking. I get looks from guys with envy all the time wondering how in the heck did I manage to end up with a beautiful babe like my gf.
Another thing is...I'm asian and my gf is white. We live in a very heavy cucasian populated area. There's still some hatred going around. I'm not suppost to be with the cream of the crop...and
even if I get women...they would be the left overs.
My selfesteem and self confidence plays a very very big part.

I've read on here and witness a lot of stereo typing about asian men
not being able to get women in america. Some would also go to the extreem of adivicing asian men would be better off going home or
back where they belong....it's total ********.

What I'm saying is...wheather you're male or female, sometimes
you have to go against the grain to get what you want from your
life. The definition of self esteem is SELF WORTH, not other people's
worth.
I'm worth everything and more than anything in the world to me.

 

[Intranetusa]

Haha, I don't think I'm too attractive. And I'm too paranoid to put up a picture of myself here! =D

---

Thank you for your comments and support guys! I really appreciate it.
I am in no way super gorgeous or anything. In fact, I used to be quite unattractive I think (glasses/unflattering clothes), and it affected my self esteem a lot. But I worked hard to change my appearance when I went to college and although I still don't consider myself very attractive, I know I can't be so bad given that guys check me out and pay me compliments. But I think after having such low self esteem for so long, I am still not used to getting male attention, and I think I don't have the confidence to attract them. In fact, I get very self conscious if a guy even looks at me, I feel like I am imagining it. Without my realizing it, I am probably just closing myself off to the world.

So I guess i'll take your advice and try to be more approachable. Smile and be open.

Thank you! =)

---

Aye. Hey I'm in the same boat, but if guys check you out and give you compliments, then even if you don't feel attractive yourself - there are guys that DO consider you attractive.

I think I'm an average looking dude so I've had some physical-self esteem issues as well. Nor am I all that confident either, so I have basically had no luck for the most part with females.

But girls have asked me out or complimented me before, so whenever I feel down with self-esteem issues, I remind myself that for a little confidence boost.