Is this crazy?

[Among the Sleep]

I'm wondering if anyone here can relate to this. It's probably not the type of thing I would want to say out loud.

I have a lot of trouble sleeping most nights, and in the wee hours of the morning when it starts to get light again, my imagination goes to some pretty bizarre places. It starts with a problem in my head - usually a problem that I have with another person, or that someone has with me. Whether it's real, perceived, or just a slight problem where I kind of know or think I've pissed somebody off but it's not even enough of an issue for them to even bring it up to me.

When it's late at night, I stew over these little problems, these weird scenarious that I make up in my head, but then an hour later I've gotten myself so worked up over it that I'm literally creating conversations in my head between me and that other person. As in, I'm having heated, two-sided, totally imagined arguments in my own head. I run through these arguments and these strange scenarios in my head, and I get SO mad at the **** that I just made up that I literally can't sleep. It's like I'm digging through my subconscious just looking for stuff to piss myself off with, and then I make myself so mad over these made up things that I lose sleep over it.

I've never really heard anyone say this kinda stuff. But like I said, it's not really the type of thing most people would say out loud anyway. I mean...please tell me I'm not the only one?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

You're not the only one. Billions of people do it.lol
It's actaully normal...especailly if you're having relationship issues.
No...you're not crazy. Thats why some people take sleep pills or drink
themselves silly to past out.

Depending on how angery Im at with the person or situation...
I want to resolve it...

So basically that's what happening...you simply just want whatever
that's bothering to get resolved. When dealing with things that's broken
you can take whatever actions to resolve it....

When dealing with people...well, if they're not there...they not there.
Even if they were there...it can be WWIII to get things resolved.lmao

So there's many coping skills...healthy coping skills.
Or wasy to resolve the unresolved.

Such as acceptence....Kind da like..OH fucken will. it is what it is..fuckit.
You'll let go of the situations and anger just the same.

Another way is to not figure it out anymore...
Whcih is almost the samething becuase you know the **** will
just give you a headache. Gets your head in a knott...triggers
ugly feelings. So might as will say **** it anywho...no pont
figuring the **** out. You accept and let go just the same.
Just going about it in a different way.

Some people journal..So it's basically like talking to yourself
but it's on paper...it release pinned anger. Sometimes I'll
actually stab my journal with my pin.
But after writting a page or two...you're like..**** this ****
I aint writting no more. You accept and let go just the same.

Dont freak out on what i wrote...becuase I got all of these
coping skills from books.
So there's **** loads of people that have these challenges.

Meditations will also help you.
Becuase you'll bacically learn how to just observe your mind
ot thoughts without making any judgments or attachments to them.
Just watach your thoughts as a passing parade.
Eventually your mind will burn itself out...kind of like a fire burning
itself out. it'll come to a rest on it's own.

Other times...you'll simple just have to make an assertive command
to yourself...bascailly tell your mind to fucken STOP!!!!!
It mingt take serval attempts or you might have to tell it to stop many
times...It's kind of like telling an undesciplined child to stop doing something.
Eventaully your mind will listen and stop...Just takes practice.

Sometimes..I'll just work my 10th (12 step program)
Forgive, forget, let go , let god...ect
It's like taking a shower to washs off the daily grime of mental and emotions baggages.

Sometimes..I listen to soft music

Sometimes i listen solfferggio tones. It helps heal my brain. Stimulate and synchronize my left and right brain.
Plus it also drowns out whatever the hell that's in my head or give my mind something esle to focus on.
It actually puts me to sleep...puts me in an estacy state or feeling. Im actaully very peaceful and mellow.
the next day....

I learned so many copping skills or have box full of tools. One it not better than the other.
As long as I get a good night sleep it's all good.

Sometimes I dont even fight....which is another copping skill.
I'll just stay up and just let it take it's course. Stop figthing myself.
It's the same as acceptence

 

[Among the Sleep]

Thanks for the response, it makes sense. I guess it is more normal than I think. It just doesn't feel very normal while it's happening, haha. Especially when I literally go as far as just inventing scenarios in my head that have no basis in reality, and then getting furious at those things. I think when you spend as much time awake and alone as I do, you can't help but overthink things to a crazy degree. I usually don't fall asleep til like 7 AM, so if I'm out with friends I'm usually home by like 1 AM. So it gives me way too much time to think. Me being alone with my thoughts is never good. But maybe it's not so weird or crazy. Just seems insane while it's happening.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Lmao...Yeah, if you can laugh about it..it's healing.
You're not judging or condemning yourself. releases tensions all the same.
Self acceptence. Aint gotta be perfect or fucken nornal all the time.lmao

I had it really bad 3 years ago. Really really pissed off at my exgf.
Wanted to have anger sex, make up or break up sexwith her.lmao
But she finally broke it off after a year of that insanity
She dose things that pissed my off though.
Thought I was going outta my freaken mind.lmao

 

[Tiina63]

I do this almost all the time. Whenyou are trying to go to sleep, there is nothing else to distract you from your thoughts, so you get sucked into them so easily.

 

[wolf359]

That is so true, sleep is your good friend, it's getting there that can be very difficult. It's the one time when you are really alone with your thoughts, so they overwhelm you.
Often I read before I go to bed, sometimes that works. It gives your brain something to keep occupied until you get sleepy.

 

[rollingtrouble]

Awww hell, I get into heated arguments with myself all the time. And then between the other guys, me and myself can get to an impass to where all three of us are screaming at each other. I have learned to just tune the other two out and myself and me will finally quit talking to themselves altogether and I finally get some peace. I think...

 

[jean-vic]

I do this as well. Don't sleep without my TV on now, otherwise I have to think, and I don't want to think. I do enough thinking throughout the day. Night time, I just want to sleep, so any distraction or escapism tactic I can use, I use. It's normal, dude, so don't worry about it, unless the voices start telling you to kill

 

[Ak5]

All the time. And I'm not crazy.

Therefore, you're not crazy.