EveWasFramed
Well-known member
I had to tell someone this today and it made me think of some of the threads/posts I've seen here in the years I've been coming here.
I have a young female friend at work. She's a decent girl and a good friend, but sometimes has the personality of an angry wet cat and is bitter due to past failed relationships.
Nearly every day, she visits my cubical and tells me how unfortunate she has been in the last couple of years when it comes to getting dates. For four months Ive listened to how crappy guys are because they don't return her interest or ask her out. Today, instead of nodding and making the appropriate noises, I asked her to come outside with me.
Feeling like a total ****, I told her that it wasn't them, it was HER. I said that common sense should tell her that it can't be everyone BUT her.
She's a very intelligent young lady, well educated. She's also a runner. I asked what she thought of people who'd either never won a marathon or never even finished one.
She said either they werent capable of it (physically, for whatever reason) or they werent trying hard enough - practicing, building stamina, etc.
I asked if runners could increase their chances by changing their lifestyle, behaviors, etc. She said if they were physically able to, of course.
By now she knew where this was heading. I told her, in the kindest way I could manage, that it was HER who was sabatoging herself. I told her what others had said about her and what I thought about her. I asked if she thought it was possible to change herself. She responded that she wasn't sure.
I said, well, it's you, not everyone else. Change or don't, it's still all on you.
I told her that I was sorry, but that I cared enough to tell her because I didn't want her to think that people were required to want to be around her and that not many would make a point to look past the surface at what lied beneath.
She didn't seem terribly upset and said she think about what I said.
Later in the day, she messaged me and thanked me for being honest with her. She said she knew she had issues but didn't know how to overcome them. I told her we'd talk more tomorrow if she wanted to eat lunch together.
I hope she comes by. Id hate to see her a decade or two from now in the same horrible mindset.
I have a young female friend at work. She's a decent girl and a good friend, but sometimes has the personality of an angry wet cat and is bitter due to past failed relationships.
Nearly every day, she visits my cubical and tells me how unfortunate she has been in the last couple of years when it comes to getting dates. For four months Ive listened to how crappy guys are because they don't return her interest or ask her out. Today, instead of nodding and making the appropriate noises, I asked her to come outside with me.
Feeling like a total ****, I told her that it wasn't them, it was HER. I said that common sense should tell her that it can't be everyone BUT her.
She's a very intelligent young lady, well educated. She's also a runner. I asked what she thought of people who'd either never won a marathon or never even finished one.
She said either they werent capable of it (physically, for whatever reason) or they werent trying hard enough - practicing, building stamina, etc.
I asked if runners could increase their chances by changing their lifestyle, behaviors, etc. She said if they were physically able to, of course.
By now she knew where this was heading. I told her, in the kindest way I could manage, that it was HER who was sabatoging herself. I told her what others had said about her and what I thought about her. I asked if she thought it was possible to change herself. She responded that she wasn't sure.
I said, well, it's you, not everyone else. Change or don't, it's still all on you.
I told her that I was sorry, but that I cared enough to tell her because I didn't want her to think that people were required to want to be around her and that not many would make a point to look past the surface at what lied beneath.
She didn't seem terribly upset and said she think about what I said.
Later in the day, she messaged me and thanked me for being honest with her. She said she knew she had issues but didn't know how to overcome them. I told her we'd talk more tomorrow if she wanted to eat lunch together.
I hope she comes by. Id hate to see her a decade or two from now in the same horrible mindset.
