Just an odd observation :\

[R2349]

There was this open diary site I kept up with for a while, and one guy I followed always spoke about dropping his Vcard as if it were the be all and end all of life. I was a little disgusted about how he talked about women, being that I am one, and the idea that a guy would just want me for my who-ha and literally not give a rat's ass about what I had to say floored me. It's easy to judge sometimes, y'know, so think about that what you will. Anyway, I realized a short time ago that I was basically doing the exact same thing. Instead of sex, every time I had the opportunity to talk to a guy, I'd start daydreaming about the day when we could finally be more than acquaintances, just so I'd have someone's arm to hold, or someone to cuddle with. Weird, hm.. I'd never thought about it before.

So I'm wondering if anyone here has caught themselves thinking this way about someone? That moment where you realize you're just focused on 'being with someone', more than knowing the actual person? Either way, for either gender, btw. I think that's probably part of the reason I'm perpetually single. A very small part in a long list of other reasons BUT that's an unwanted tangent right there lol

 

[perfanoff]

Very interesting.

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There's definitely a risk for a guy's sex addiction and a woman's puppy love addiction, I can imagine how they can prevent that person have healthy relationships. But don't all relationships start with that? Mutual attraction and flirting? I'm yet to have a woman who's already known me for a while, show any romantic interest in me.

I guess I'm also confused on this...

 

[ladyforsaken]

I think we all do go there at some point in our lives where we fantasise or daydream about being with someone just for the sake of having someone - not even knowing who they are in person. But that's only dreams and fantasies.

I think in real life though... one would tend to want to find out more about the other person before actually getting together. I think. I don't know, I'm not an expert in this area lol.

 

[R2349]

I think we all do go there at some point in our lives where we fantasise or daydream about being with someone just for the sake of having someone - not even knowing who they are in person. But that's only dreams and fantasies.

I think in real life though... one would tend to want to find out more about the other person before actually getting together. I think. I don't know, I'm not an expert in this area lol.

I think it's possible to get stuck in the daydreaming mode, especially if you've never actually been with anyone, and that's when it interferes with real life.

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Very interesting.

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There's definitely a risk for a guy's sex addiction and a woman's puppy love addiction, I can imagine how they can prevent that person have healthy relationships. But don't all relationships start with that? Mutual attraction and flirting? I'm yet to have a woman who's already known me for a while, show any romantic interest in me.

I guess I'm also confused on this...

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I once heard someone say that love is always unwanted, unless you want it, heh. That is to say, I find it confusing as well. sigh

 

[ladyforsaken]

I think in real life though... one would tend to want to find out more about the other person before actually getting together. I think. I don't know, I'm not an expert in this area lol.

That's interesting really, I've never known for it to happen but I can see the possibilities.

 

[[CoLL.Cc] John Smith]

The old noggin' and I have spent many a night fantasising. So much to the point where I have envisioned my dream partner's every detail. Probably not what was asked, but I tried.

 

[R2349]

The old noggin' and I have spent many a night fantasising. So much to the point where I have envisioned my dream partner's every detail. Probably not what was asked, but I tried.

It does tie in with what I was saying. The real people we meet never live up to that kind of dream person.. and thinking about them so much ends up making you ultimately nervous, to the point that if you actually meet someone comparable to him/her, you've built them up so high that you can hardly think straight. Kinda silly, really, when you remember we're all only human, but that doesnt help much anyway...

 

[Badjedidude]

I try to avoid that sort of thinking. It's nice to fantasize, but living that way isn't very smart.

It's not healthy to want to have a bf/gf just to have a bf/gf.

 

[R2349]

I try to avoid that sort of thinking. It's nice to fantasize, but living that way isn't very smart.

It's not healthy to want to have a bf/gf just to have a bf/gf.

It's unfortunate how the thin the line between just fantasizing once in a while and getting stuck thinking that way gets over time. Definitely not healthy, and not even really an issue of being smart or stupid. I think on some level, everyone desires companionship. It's just something you fall into, but, you have to kick yourself in the butt to get out of it.

 

[9006]

Yes, I have done this, in moderation.

I don't think there's anything wrong with this, although like everyone else says; as long as it doesn't get obsessive to the point that you live in fantasy land. La la la la...

 

[aspalas]

I sometimes fantasize about having a companion, and I want it too, but I don't just want a girlfriend to have a girlfriend, never did. It's absolutely neccesary for me to actually be in love with this person, otherwise I wouldn't be a good boyfriend I think.