Just saw my ex came away feeling like ****

[Everydaystruggle33]

I saw my ex in hopes that maybe there would be some change. But I just came away like ****. I felt like I was begging for scraps any little bit of attention from her. I've been single most of my adult like and I don't what it feels like to have someone that actually loves you and wants to be apart of your life. I feel like my heart just has this big gaping wound. I just feel engulfed in loneliness and its like this feeling is a feeling I carry with me everyday and it's all I've ever known.

 

[Tiina63]

Although this is very difficult to do, it might be best in the long term if you can avoid your ex until you have started to heal or have healed from the breakup. Seeing her opens your wound. I share your feeling of engulfing loneliness and of being single all my adult life, so I can understand how hard it is for you to give up hope of your being together again with her. Accept your feelings and don't put pressure on yourself to 'get over it.' Losing someone you care for and love is one of the hardest things in life and I hope that eventually you find some inner peace.

 

[Zook]

You need to cut her from your life, bro. Like completely. Move on and pretend she doesn't exist. This involves changing your lifestyle and trying to meet new people.

I was stuck on an ex for around 8 YEARS. It's not healthy.

Try online dating or something.

 

[Everydaystruggle33]

Although this is very difficult to do, it might be best in the long term if you can avoid your ex until you have started to heal or have healed from the breakup. Seeing her opens your wound. I share your feeling of engulfing loneliness and of being single all my adult life, so I can understand how hard it is for you to give up hope of your being together again with her. Accept your feelings and don't put pressure on yourself to 'get over it.' Losing someone you care for and love is one of the hardest things in life and I hope that eventually you find some inner peace.

I thought at least I had closure I've accepted that a loving relationship, marriage, having a family of my own just isn't in the cards for me. I struggle to even establish any type of connections let alone romantic ones. Even though I've accepted this reality it still doesn't stop from the heartache I feel every time I'm reminded of my life's reality.

 

[ladyforsaken]

It's not easy moving on from something that meant so much to you in your life. I guess it's easier said than done, but perhaps getting out there, meeting more people and just doing things to occupy your time might just help. Good luck.

 

[ABrokenMan]

I never see mine because I know it will make me feel far, far worse than I already feel.
I unplugged from all social media as well so that temptation and feeling sorry cannot sway me into going to look for her.

 

[Tiina63]

Although this is very difficult to do, it might be best in the long term if you can avoid your ex until you have started to heal or have healed from the breakup. Seeing her opens your wound. I share your feeling of engulfing loneliness and of being single all my adult life, so I can understand how hard it is for you to give up hope of your being together again with her. Accept your feelings and don't put pressure on yourself to 'get over it.' Losing someone you care for and love is one of the hardest things in life and I hope that eventually you find some inner peace.

I thought at least I had closure I've accepted that a loving relationship, marriage, having a family of my own just isn't in the cards for me. I struggle to even establish any type of connections let alone romantic ones. Even though I've accepted this reality it still doesn't stop from the heartache I feel every time I'm reminded of my life's reality.

It is highly possible that a loving relationship is on the cards for you so don't give up hope yet. I also struggle to connect with others, especially romantically, but I haven't stopped hoping that there is someone out there for me. Some people may say that hope causes pain, but for me if I gave up hoping, I would die inside. I do hope that one day you find the love you need.

 

[Everydaystruggle33]

Although this is very difficult to do, it might be best in the long term if you can avoid your ex until you have started to heal or have healed from the breakup. Seeing her opens your wound. I share your feeling of engulfing loneliness and of being single all my adult life, so I can understand how hard it is for you to give up hope of your being together again with her. Accept your feelings and don't put pressure on yourself to 'get over it.' Losing someone you care for and love is one of the hardest things in life and I hope that eventually you find some inner peace.

I thought at least I had closure I've accepted that a loving relationship, marriage, having a family of my own just isn't in the cards for me. I struggle to even establish any type of connections let alone romantic ones. Even though I've accepted this reality it still doesn't stop from the heartache I feel every time I'm reminded of my life's reality.

It is highly possible that a loving relationship is on the cards for you so don't give up hope yet. I also struggle to connect with others, especially romantically, but I haven't stopped hoping that there is someone out there for me. Some people may say that hope causes pain, but for me if I gave up hoping, I would die inside. I do hope that one day you find the love you need.

I'm hoping for love after all this time and trying for a long-time to find someone it's hard to believe that one day I'll ever find that loving relationship.

 

[MentatsGhoul]

I'm a firm believer that you can remain friends with an ex. But if you've broken up with someone, you should accept that. Clinging on to the hope that they might give you another shot or whatever is pointless, and will only hurt you more. If anything, you might be closing doors for yourself by focusing on a relationship that came and went, rather than focusing on finding someone new.

 

[Siku]

I can relate, Everydaystruggle33. I also find myself going back far more often than I'd like too. As well as having a crush that left me feeling very similar to what you've stated. She just loves using me for attention and when it's best for her convenience. It is entirely unhealthy and borderline addicting and you only walk away seeing these when you aren't infatuated or at peace of mind because they aren't around anymore. You did or said things that you later regret because your reality did not match how you thought/wanted it too. (The movie 500 days of summer comes to mind haha)

These emotions cloud our actions and judgement.

It's something you genuinely loved suddenly gone, missing, and you're longing for it again. Especially when it was something that changed your life and views completely. You just simply want someone to do the same for you. Sorry, I'm rambling cliche **** now lol.

I suppose it's different for everyone, and "logically speaking" moving on is the best route. However.....

In my opinion, there's are a few understandable exceptions to this and as to why it happens, and while it might sound as being self-justifised... What if you weren't given proper closure? The ex selflishly blames the other for everything? Naturally, you'd keep pushing and trying to prove that isn't the case. That's when you loved some one so much that you see them in the most non-cynical way possible that they are speaking the truth when they aren't.

Some people want to take the selfish coward way out of a relationship without the guilt, some take the honest route of saying they found someone else or fell out of love. The former will make the 2nd party a hell of a lot more likely to not be able to move on with ease and is entirely ****** up. But once you realize it, it should make it you realize how of much of an ******* or ***** that person was and truly gave no ***** about ya. Sorry for the language lol.

How someone "clings" or "stalks" onto a ex after the break up has other factors that should be considered. Who is anyone to pass judge on someone without knowing the story. There are very human responses to what people say or do. But that would require an already open minded person whom would realize that before even being selfishly coward or manipulative. Empathy shouldn't be selective, folks. But sadly, it is.

 

[handheart]

I think that time will heal your wounds and try to avoid ex for a whyle because seing it it may hurt a lot

 

[Guy_In_The_Corner_]

Keeping in touch with your ex is probably one of the hardest things you can do post relationship. I don't really have much experience with relationships either but after one of the few that I did have me and my ex decided to stay friends because we thought it'd be too hard not to see each other anymore. Needless to say we had numerous problems after that. We had several on and off things again and we both were hurt a lot over that period. We nearly hated each other by the end of it so we took a couple months away from each other and came back. Now that we've come back after the break we have a stable friendship and we're both actively seeking other people. I still have some feeling for her and I think that's unavoidable with someone you loved, but I also love her as a friend and just having her around is enough to keep me happy.

Overall though I'd say it's not a good idea to stay in touch with your ex after a break up, especially if you don't get the time you need to recover, because you need to get the self-love in there before you can see them again, otherwise you'll just end up trying to get the love back from your ex that you lost when they broke up with you. And also you have to value and accept them as a friend.

Buuut if you can make it work as friends it's very rewarding. You might just have to wade through a metaphorical pile if s*** to get there.

 

[HybridWarrior93]

An ex is an ex for a reason rather it was because of you or because of her. For the most part exes should be just that exes. When you see her again (which you might) either say hello and a quick goodbye or dont say nothing at all. Nothing bothers a woman more than to know you dont care for her even in the slightest. To find a good partner it may take a while. I know its not what you want to hear but its true. Nothing good really ever happens over night. Before you expect someone to love you you have to love yourself first. Look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself you matter. That you will find someone maybe not today or tomorrow but soon.

 

[Menorahman]

You should have deleted her out of your life the moment she broke up with you. Women move on very quickly due to their endless sea of options. Seeing this will only make the pain worse.