lonely with a family

[nothing much]

I am a mother and a wife with quite a tight working schedule. Even though I have my family around, I feel so lonely most of the times. I take care of my child, my husband, do my duties, and still weeks pass by before I can speak anyhting to anybody. My husband is very busy in the office, so cannot find time even for emergencies. After he comes home, he spends three hours with his son, an hour chatting with his relatives and rest watching news. In the mean time I keep looking at him to get 10 mins of his attention..............too busy!!!!!!!! At night when I try to talk........well, he's too sleepy.
I feel his attitude is forcing me to step outside my moral rights, as many a times I want to go out, find a friend who could respect me as a person and I could talk to, even if its just few times a week. I love my husband and do not want to do anyhting that will affect my children's future. I used to be a very happy, always smiling person, and now even if I want to say something, I keep my mouth shut, 'coz I know its crazy to speak to walls. I feel I'm slowly dying inside.
Am I the only one feeling like this? Is there any solution?

 

[bjarne]

Have you tried explaining to him how you feel?

 

[nothing much]

[No message]

 

[nothing much]

Yes, many times in the past three years but all in vain (not vein, sorry!!!!!).

 

[ss7]

I am a mother and a wife with quite a tight working schedule. Even though I have my family around, I feel so lonely most of the times. I take care of my child, my husband, do my duties, and still weeks pass by before I can speak anyhting to anybody. My husband is very busy in the office, so cannot find time even for emergencies. After he comes home, he spends three hours with his son, an hour chatting with his relatives and rest watching news. In the mean time I keep looking at him to get 10 mins of his attention..............too busy!!!!!!!! At night when I try to talk........well, he's too sleepy.

I wish you well and hope things get better.

I feel his attitude is forcing me to step outside my moral rights, as many a times I want to go out, find a friend who could respect me as a person and I could talk to, even if its just few times a week. I love my husband and do not want to do anyhting that will affect my children's future.

I am curious about something. What is immoral about talking to a friend?

I used to be a very happy, always smiling person, and now even if I want to say something, I keep my mouth shut, 'coz I know its crazy to speak to walls. I feel I'm slowly dying inside.
Am I the only one feeling like this? Is there any solution?

No, you are certainly not the only one who feels like this. I know more than a few people who are living lonely lives surrounded by their families. Some people's lives are elaborate acts, complete with all the props. The weird thing is that you can often never tell from the outside.

Is there a solution? I don't know. As Bjarne said, talking to your husband is a good first step.

Cheers,
--ss7.

 

[nothing much]

[No message]

 

[ss7]

There is nothing immoral about having a good friend. In fact I wish I had one in my husband. I have read, heard and felt too, that in the mental state that I am in, people tend to be emotionally vulnerable. And in that state they might take decisions or actions they otherwise would not. So when I wrote about not wanting to cross my moral line, all I meant was I don't want to slip through the cracks of my marriage without realising. I might start leaning on the friend just way too much or cling way too tight even without realising it. I still want to give my marriage a chance and hope it will work, for the sake of my children especially.

I understand your concern now. It seems to be a valid one. As I said, all the best for the future.

--ss7

 

[Vector]

nothing much, i have read your thread, and to be honest i do sympathy with u. it made me sad myself!

tell us what happend!? are things better!? did u talk to him!?
to be honest with you `nothing much` i really really hope you dont cross that line, and i u want to then tell ur husband the whole truth and that it getting now where. if he's not able to walk the %50 the way then fair enough.
i'm sorry, i'm not giving advises cause i learnt from life that people normally give **** advises.
but let's us know please.
take care and i wish u heartly things be ok.

 

[Carlos5800]

Hi lonely with a family.  I think i understand how you feel as i am in a similar position. I have a busy, demanding and enjoyable job and a wife with whom I get on well except for one thing, she does not want to get close emotionally. She is very anxious about life (& everything else) and needs constantly reassuring. She certainly doesn't have the wish or spare emotional energy to really understand my needs.  I will tell you more if you are interested.
Like you I value the relationship & don't want to be unfaithful but just need someone who understands the emotional isolation and wants to share some feelings & ideas every so often.

I would happily be your e pen-pal.

Carlos

I am a mother and a wife with quite a tight working schedule. Even though I have my family around, I feel so lonely most of the times. I take care of my child, my husband, do my duties, and still weeks pass by before I can speak anyhting to anybody. My husband is very busy in the office, so cannot find time even for emergencies. After he comes home, he spends three hours with his son, an hour chatting with his relatives and rest watching news. In the mean time I keep looking at him to get 10 mins of his attention..............too busy!!!!!!!! At night when I try to talk........well, he's too sleepy.

I wish you well and hope things get better.

I feel his attitude is forcing me to step outside my moral rights, as many a times I want to go out, find a friend who could respect me as a person and I could talk to, even if its just few times a week. I love my husband and do not want to do anyhting that will affect my children's future.

I am curious about something. What is immoral about talking to a friend?

I used to be a very happy, always smiling person, and now even if I want to say something, I keep my mouth shut, 'coz I know its crazy to speak to walls. I feel I'm slowly dying inside.
Am I the only one feeling like this? Is there any solution?

No, you are certainly not the only one who feels like this. I know more than a few people who are living lonely lives surrounded by their families. Some people's lives are elaborate acts, complete with all the props. The weird thing is that you can often never tell from the outside.

Is there a solution? I don't know. As Bjarne said, talking to your husband is a good first step.

Cheers,
--ss7.

 

[realandtruelove]

Hi "nothing much", I think there is nothing more to be said; I think lot of people are facing the same boring life, it's the lousy life we are all living these days, as if we are running in a fast track. Did you think of a vacation even a short one, it could help, it could be a chance to fix your relation with your husband, and don't give up for the sake of your marriage and your children.

 

[lonelygirl]

I have a family, too. I have one child and a husband and I am very, very lonely. Even when with my husband and son, I still feel loneliness creeping in. Life is so boring, dull, routine, everything stays the same, messy house, disorganized house, I have to cook and I hate it, and generally I find it to suck the big one!

My husband is great but doesn't really understand. He can't really help me but he tries to be nice and help me out by giving back rubs, etc.

I am luck to have him, and my son but my son has major behavioral issues. He's so demanding it's really tough on my marriage. The other mothers around here are snobs and ******* who leave me out of everything. ******* *******!