lonliness

[Guest]

I feel lonely, but I feel guilty about it. I feel guilty because I'm married and yet I feel isolated. We never go out anywhere and I don't think we have common interests. I sit at the computer in the evening, wishing I could go out to a movie or something, but I think this would seem insulting to my husband. We've never had much money, so I've never gone off on a holiday alone, but that is what I'd like to do. I guess I need to join some kind of club or group, to get the fellowship I seek.

 

[Guest]

I'm in a similar boat, I'm in a relationship with a girl I love but feel really lonely at the same time, but in my case, it's more the fact that she's pushing me away, anyways you can always tell your husband that you need to do something away from the house, whether with hiim or alone, no shame in that

 

[Guesticles]

The best way to solve this problem isn't by hiding it, but by being vocal about it. Just because you're low on entertainment funds doesn't mean you and your husband can't do other enjoyable things. Tell him how you feel, and don't feel guilty about it!

 

[Guest]

Dude going to a movie will just make you more lonely in the long run. The key thing is to go with someone. Do you own a pet dog or anything ?

 

[epileptic]

Its funny how the stresses of this so called life can cause such a damper on what might have been a very fullfilling relationship. Everyone feels a need to be connected. Perhaps thats why things like TV, and radio, and telephone, and the internet were created. We need all out constant emotional stimulation, while achieving a false sense of connectedness. Even with such technological wonders that we are able to achieve, we still feel alone.

why is that?

why are so many people dissatisfied with their situation?

Because, they know deep down, that there has got to be more to life then this. The depressed, the lonely, the freaks of society. All tired of their envolvement with this artificial environment. Tired of the headache, the drama, and the psycho babble. Tired of the, "do this" and the, "do that"'s. Tired!

Don't you people want more to life then what is currently being offered?? I know I do.

So, where do we go from here?

 

[Estreen]

Its funny how the stresses of this so called life can cause such a damper on what might have been a very fullfilling relationship. Everyone feels a need to be connected. Perhaps thats why things like TV, and radio, and telephone, and the internet were created. We need all out constant emotional stimulation, while achieving a false sense of connectedness. Even with such technological wonders that we are able to achieve, we still feel alone.

why is that?

why are so many people dissatisfied with their situation?

Because, they know deep down, that there has got to be more to life then this. The depressed, the lonely, the freaks of society. All tired of their envolvement with this artificial environment. Tired of the headache, the drama, and the psycho babble. Tired of the, "do this" and the, "do that"'s. Tired!

Don't you people want more to life then what is currently being offered?? I know I do.

So, where do we go from here?

Good question.

I sure as hell would like to know the answer.

 

[Span]

The best way to solve this problem isn't by hiding it, but by being vocal about it. Just because you're low on entertainment funds doesn't mean you and your husband can't do other enjoyable things. Tell him how you feel, and don't feel guilty about it!

That's all very well for an outsider to say but if her husband is anything like mine, he would take that as a personal affront against him, his way of life, ability as a provider or whatever!
After 19yrs married to mine, I still have to work out in advance how to phrase things so as not to upset his ego! And he's not mellowing in his old age, but getting worse............
It is actually possible to be lonelier when with a person that when you're actually alone!!

 

[cheaptrickfan]

It is actually possible to be lonelier when with a person that when you're actually alone!!

I hear ya there.

I'm sorry.

 

[Get Down!]

This seems a bit similar to my parents situation.
My dad is a grumpy man with clear visions of life; what he likes, dislikes, whats wrong or right etc. so it's very hard to have an argument with him cos he just doesnt listen to other's opinion. He has this place in our basement next to the stove that he enjoys very much. He would just sit there and watch the flames burn and that's his kind of entertainment. If we went on vacations to the sea, he wouldnt leave the house for 10 days lol.
My mom is quite the contrary. She loves hiking, swimming, travelling, discovering new places etc. So she just does it without him. We (mom, sister and me) started to going on vacations alone. Luckily my dead doesn't seem to mind it.

Span, this is the sort of thing we're doing with our father here. It's sad how seems to be better for me to keep my mouth shut and nod to everything just to prevent the possibility of another family fight. It's so annoying having someone like that in family, i can tell. =/

 

[cheaptrickfan]

It's sad how seems to be better for me to keep my mouth shut and nod to everything just to prevent the possibility of another family fight. It's so annoying having someone like that in family, i can tell. =/

That's an awful way to live. It's like a form of emotional blackmail on you, your sister and your mom, and it's not fair to you. Being considerate of a person's feelings is one thing, but feeling as though you have to watch everything you say or do lest it starts a fight has got to wear you down.

 

[Naval_Fluff]

It's sad how seems to be better for me to keep my mouth shut and nod to everything just to prevent the possibility of another family fight. It's so annoying having someone like that in family, i can tell. =/

That's an awful way to live. It's like a form of emotional blackmail on you, your sister and your mom, and it's not fair to you. Being considerate of a person's feelings is one thing, but feeling as though you have to watch everything you say or do lest it starts a fight has got to wear you down.

I agree with that. There's a point where people get way too passive, just letting people march all over them just to keep the peace. You don't have to be an ******* about anything but you need to stand up for your rights as a person in this relationship. I think there's like a word for it...Um...I don't remember but they told us it a lot in the psych ward. (Yes, I was there, please don't ask) They told us that we can't go around demaning everything but we need to stand up for the most necessary things....

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I think there's like a word for it...Um...I don't remember but they told us it a lot in the psych ward. (Yes, I was there, please don't ask) They told us that we can't go around demaning everything but we need to stand up for the most necessary things....

Advocate for yourself? Be assertive?

Yes, it is important to stand up for yourself, although I understand the desire to keep the peace to a degree, especially if the blowups and meltdowns are colossal.

 

[Get Down!]

yup, 5 years ago it was exactly like it. I thought he had something against me. Never picked that much on mom or sis (she's younger and more daddy girl than me). I tried really hard to avoid arguments but there were too many chances like that and eventually i lost it cos i couldnt just accept his way of thinking over mine.
My mom said that was one of the reasons she let me go away to more distant school in our capital city so i was living in dormitory for 4 years

Things are better now. Maybe cos i don't see him that often but there are still days when he would just walk into my room, looking for a fight. Litterally, he does that lol.
I still don't think he's a bad man or something. Just doesnt know how to treat people sometimes.

And it's kind of funny how he's become known for those traits of his. Even relatives like to make innocent jokes on his account. And sometimes, when they gather in my uncle's vacation house which is..say..2hours of walking away from home, he would get mad at everyone and disappear. And he'd walk home. You better not be there when the monster arrives

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Things are better now. Maybe cos i don't see him that often...

I'm glad to hear that.

Sometimes distance helps family relationships. I know I've gotten along better with my parents since I moved a few states away from them.

 

[Vanessa]

I feel lonely, but I feel guilty about it. I feel guilty because I'm married and yet I feel isolated. We never go out anywhere and I don't think we have common interests. I sit at the computer in the evening, wishing I could go out to a movie or something, but I think this would seem insulting to my husband. We've never had much money, so I've never gone off on a holiday alone, but that is what I'd like to do. I guess I need to join some kind of club or group, to get the fellowship I seek.

---

I hear you, I have been in a relationship for almost 12 years, I feel sometimes like I have been holding my own in this relationship for the past 3 years, I love the guy alot, but im tired of being the one who has to iniciate sex, saying I love you. I feel that Im the one who wants to be here with him but his interests seems to be nothing but playing on the comp or watching stupid space channel.

 

[Haz]

The best way to solve this problem isn't by hiding it, but by being vocal about it. Just because you're low on entertainment funds doesn't mean you and your husband can't do other enjoyable things. Tell him how you feel, and don't feel guilty about it!

That's all very well for an outsider to say but if her husband is anything like mine, he would take that as a personal affront against him, his way of life, ability as a provider or whatever!
After 19yrs married to mine, I still have to work out in advance how to phrase things so as not to upset his ego! And he's not mellowing in his old age, but getting worse............
It is actually possible to be lonelier when with a person that when you're actually alone!!

this isn't right

maybe you should bring these things into question.... because being passive about it sure as hell doesn't seem to be working for you

 

[Ak5]

Good thing these people aren't here today.