Making an effort

[freedom]

i feel the same way...

i've learned that people do that out of sheer custom. i'm talking about the things you mentioned about your lady friend wanting to play golf and then shooting you down when you asked her to. it's happened to me plenty of times before, and i've learned that people just do it on an impulse, like they have no other answer to give other than yes.

so the thing about not making an effort to reply to you is probably not your fault. you mentioned that this woman was new on FB and you befriended her, right? ... not sure what to say about that...

it's just the way that it is, bro. i type so many replies on here, hoping that someone will comment or follow up on what i say, but it never really happens. i'm sure everyone else feels the same.

 

[putter65]

i feel the same way...

i've learned that people do that out of sheer custom. i'm talking about the things you mentioned about your lady friend wanting to play golf and then shooting you down when you asked her to. it's happened to me plenty of times before, and i've learned that people just do it on an impulse, like they have no other answer to give other than yes.

so the thing about not making an effort to reply to you is probably not your fault. you mentioned that this woman was new on FB and you befriended her, right? ... not sure what to say about that...

it's just the way that it is, bro. i type so many replies on here, hoping that someone will comment or follow up on what i say, but it never really happens. i'm sure everyone else feels the same.

I'm sure the golf woman will want to play sometime. It wasn't an excuse she came up with. That's what I thought initially but she is genuinely ill. (Her friend told me, a kidney infection) - I don't think I will ask her again though, maybe wait for her to say something. But since she is mentioning golf in her texts, I might do the same - maybe say something like 'let me know when you want to play golf again' - I can't see what harm that will do.

I was friends with her (the other one) anyway. We've worked together for about 9 years. She joined facebook and I sent her a long message that she didn't reply to. This week however she has mentioned a few things I put in my message so she obviously read it and found it funny. I was talking to her today and she said she was going on holiday soon. I told her I would send her a message a few days before she goes. Again I don't think it will do any harm.

 

[putter65]

i feel the same way...

i've learned that people do that out of sheer custom. i'm talking about the things you mentioned about your lady friend wanting to play golf and then shooting you down when you asked her to. it's happened to me plenty of times before, and i've learned that people just do it on an impulse, like they have no other answer to give other than yes.

so the thing about not making an effort to reply to you is probably not your fault. you mentioned that this woman was new on FB and you befriended her, right? ... not sure what to say about that...

it's just the way that it is, bro. i type so many replies on here, hoping that someone will comment or follow up on what i say, but it never really happens. i'm sure everyone else feels the same.

I'm sure the golf woman will want to play sometime. It wasn't an excuse she came up with. That's what I thought initially but she is genuinely ill. (Her friend told me, a kidney infection) - I don't think I will ask her again though, maybe wait for her to say something. But since she is mentioning golf in her texts, I might do the same - maybe say something like 'let me know when you want to play golf again' - I can't see what harm that will do.

I was friends with her (the other one) anyway. We've worked together for about 9 years. She joined facebook and I sent her a long message that she didn't reply to. This week however she has mentioned a few things I put in my message so she obviously read it and found it funny. I was talking to her today and she said she was going on holiday soon. I told her I would send her a message a few days before she goes. Again I don't think it will do any harm.

The new facebook one is actually warming up a bit, leaving me messages about my golf game.

 

[I.O.]

I had a party tonight. Camping out near the lake in a site I rented. The whole thing cost me like 200 bucks.

No one showed up. Seriously. I feel like I'm in a movie or something.

 

[putter65]

I had a party tonight. Camping out near the lake in a site I rented. The whole thing cost me like 200 bucks.

No one showed up. Seriously. I feel like I'm in a movie or something.

I presuming you invited people ?

If you did then I'm sorry. What a crap thing to happen to you !

I would never do anything like that. Have parties or anything similar.

 

[beans]

I had a party tonight. Camping out near the lake in a site I rented. The whole thing cost me like 200 bucks.

No one showed up. Seriously. I feel like I'm in a movie or something.

It's okay. It's an experience. Out of 10 things you do in life, there may be one or two that sucks. But this is what makes life interesting. Kudos to you for trying and taking risks. Move on to your next one!

 

[allanh]

that's why I rarely throw parties.... because it would be terribly embarrassing / self-confidence-destroying if no one turns up

 

[beans]

that's why I rarely throw parties.... because it would be terribly embarrassing / self-confidence-destroying if no one turns up

It's not important that nobody turned up. I mean, I understand that it would be disappointing that nobody did. But I admire his effort and his courage. That itself tells me that he tried instead of discouraging people on here to not try at all and focusing on the negative outcome.

So nobody turned up. But he tried. It has nothing to do with his confidence. The only failure I consider valid is to not try. Or having a "I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't do this" attitude.

Once again, I'd like to commend I.O for his courage and efforts. I would have come if you invited. I'd invite some friends too.

 

[putter65]

that's why I rarely throw parties.... because it would be terribly embarrassing / self-confidence-destroying if no one turns up

It's not important that nobody turned up. I mean, I understand that it would be disappointing that nobody did. But I admire his effort and his courage. That itself tells me that he tried instead of discouraging people on here to not try at all and focusing on the negative outcome.

So nobody turned up. But he tried. It has nothing to do with his confidence. The only failure I consider valid is to not try. Or having a "I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't do this" attitude.

Once again, I'd like to commend I.O for his courage and efforts. I would have come if you invited. I'd invite some friends too.

I remember this unpopular kid at school had a 18th birthday party. He told everybody at school only for nobody to show up apart from me and my friend.

 

[beans]

that's why I rarely throw parties.... because it would be terribly embarrassing / self-confidence-destroying if no one turns up

It's not important that nobody turned up. I mean, I understand that it would be disappointing that nobody did. But I admire his effort and his courage. That itself tells me that he tried instead of discouraging people on here to not try at all and focusing on the negative outcome.

So nobody turned up. But he tried. It has nothing to do with his confidence. The only failure I consider valid is to not try. Or having a "I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't do this" attitude.

Once again, I'd like to commend I.O for his courage and efforts. I would have come if you invited. I'd invite some friends too.

I remember this unpopular kid at school had a 18th birthday party. He told everybody at school only for nobody to show up apart from me and my friend.

Yes, it happens. When I was in school, I invited a few friends to my house for my little birthday celebration. Only three came. And one of the girls said "Huh? Only two of us came?" and she was kinda whiny about it.

 

[allanh]

I know it's the effort that count. However, to me, it is still humiliating the next day someone asks you :"So who went to the party?"

 

[beans]

I know it's the effort that count. However, to me, it is still humiliating the next day someone asks you :"So who went to the party?"

Yes but humiliation is only temporary. When you experience happier events (and that happens when you keep trying and trying at things), soon it is forgotten.

And you'd even relate the story as a joke to your friends.

 

[AJR]

This thread was an interesting start but I only made it through 4 pages. The constant box quotes often overshadow the real posts, got tired of it. *Lurker Status Reengaged*

 

[putter65]

This thread was an interesting start but I only made it through 4 pages. The constant box quotes often overshadow the real posts, got tired of it. *Lurker Status Reengaged*

I wasn't doing the box quotes on purpose.

 

[jean-vic]

Ah, making an effort. One of those things that can go either way. In my experience, 85% of the time your effort will get you nowhere but more feelings of loneliness and rejection, but you keep making the effort despite it for that 15% chance of happiness.

No matter how it goes, just keep trying I say.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Ah, making an effort. One of those things that can go either way. In my experience, 85% of the time your effort will get you nowhere but more feelings of loneliness and rejection, but you keep making the effort despite it for that 15% chance of happiness.

No matter how it goes, just keep trying I say.

You either succeed or learn from it. Either way, you are always successful.

 

[putter65]

Ah, making an effort. One of those things that can go either way. In my experience, 85% of the time your effort will get you nowhere but more feelings of loneliness and rejection, but you keep making the effort despite it for that 15% chance of happiness.

No matter how it goes, just keep trying I say.

You either succeed or learn from it. Either way, you are always successful.

You could 'learn' that women don't really like you. That's what I tend to do. You try something, ask a woman out, they say 'no' and you think 'I won't do that again' - you do that process until you stop asking women all together because nothing works !

---

I ran into an old post of yours about this woman a few pages back while clicking around.
You're in love with her (but she's with someone else now)...I guess this explains things.
All the information that I have to go by is what you share here...but still, it seems you're very attached to her even if you say otherwise.
I don't think it's only because she's the only one that pays attention to you but also because you have feelings for her.
I could be wrong, but I hope that you try to meet new people.
I would enjoy reading new threads/ posts from you with success on finding a new friend etc.
I would think it to be a tad disappointing to see this thread (or many new ones) all focused on the golf woman...

Hi there !

A few weeks ago I did make an effort with this rather flirty woman at work. I asked her if she wanted to do something out of work. I suggested the cinema. She didn't really answer and as not mentioned it since. (even though she continues to flirt with me)

And there is this other woman who I've liked for years. She's single too. She's just joined facebook so I have sent her a few messages. She was talking today about always wanting to goto London but not having anybody to go with. I suggested one of her girlfriends. Couldn't force myself to say I would go with her. It's obvious she likes me but also obvious she doesn't want to see out of work. (if that makes any sense !)

So I have tried to divert my attention away from the golf woman a bit. I still think about her alot of the time but I've got my golf to concentrate on and my books and football season is starting soon so everything is cool.

Not heard a thing from the golf woman.

The facebook woman is alot more chatty. She's just sent me a nice message on facebook !

 

[putter65]

Got a text from the golf woman. She is still poorly !

 

[allanh]

I don't get what you mean by "She is still poorly"?

 

[putter65]

I don't get what you mean by "She is still poorly"?

It means 'ill', 'sick' or not very well.