Marriage is not a cure from loneliness - just realized

[Augusto]

Few minutes ago I was talking to my good friend, who I always thought to be very successfully married. I tend to know his wife for a long time, and I must admit that I was envious to him for having a wife with such a great personality.

But now he told me that for last years they spend free time separately from each other, as they have different interests and different friends, and rarely go out together

I always though that married people generally feel less lonely than single ones, especially if they are in their 30's or later, but now I realized that it is very possible to be lonely even being "successfully" married.

 

[Tiina63]

Did your friend mention he was lonely though? A lot of married couples have different interests and different friends from each other without their being lonely in their marriage. If I ever get married, I would like some space for my own interests and friends rather than doing everything together. If your friend does feel lonely and unhappy in his marriage though, this is a different matter and I feel really sad on his behalf.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

I don't believe relationships in general to be a cure. And having been in a very lonely marriage, I wouldn't go into one with the expectations that it will magically make everything better.

 

[TheRealCallie]

If you need a relationship to be happy and not lonely, then you don't need a relationship at all. As Amy said, marriage (and relationships) are not a cure for anyone. And just because one is married, doesn't mean they are happy, regardless of how it appears to the outside world.

 

[Restless soul]

After x number of years of someone not experiencing companionship. Then yes. A relationship will improve the quality.
And state of lonliness. To a degree. Cure? Idk unless you are a monk who lives alone in a cave there is no cure

The 6 million dollar question we keep running into here.

Do you need a relationship to be happy?
Well, to answer that best as I can. Some people do.
I don't even feel like giving an in depth answer on this again

 

[TheRealCallie]

After x number of years of someone not experiencing companionship. Then yes. A relationship will improve the quality.
And state of lonliness. To a degree. Cure? Idk unless you are a monk who lives alone in a cave there is no cure

The 6 million dollar question we keep running into here.

Do you need a relationship to be happy?
Well, to answer that best as I can. Some people do.
I don't even feel like giving an in depth answer on this again

lol, no

 

[Restless soul]

If you meet someone who says they don't care about being in a relationship. Never meeting anyone. And are perfectly happy. They are lying. And keep them far away from me

 

[TheRealCallie]

If you meet someone who says they don't care about being in a relationship. Never meeting anyone. And are perfectly happy.  They are lying. And keep them far away from me

lol, no

 

[Restless soul]

???

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

If you meet someone who says they don't care about being in a relationship. Never meeting anyone. And are perfectly happy.  They are lying. And keep them far away from me

Well, there goes our chance of ever shaking hands.

 

[Restless soul]

If you meet someone who says they don't care about being in a relationship. Never meeting anyone. And are perfectly happy.  They are lying. And keep them far away from me

Well, there goes our chance of ever shaking hands.

No problem. Suit yourself

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

No, you just said I have to keep myself far away from you.

 

[TheRealCallie]

No, you just said I have to keep myself far away from you.

No no, you go shake his hand, maybe you'll pass off some of your happy alone germs.  :club:

 

[Restless soul]

No, you just said I have to keep myself far away from you.

I have? I said " any please stay away from me?

Maybe if you are going to be tempermental. But don't recall

 

[Restless soul]

Amy*

 

[Restless soul]

The truth is I don't get along offline with many loners, offbeat type
People. I don't get along with people with friends either. What am I saying here?

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

You don't get along with many people?

 

[Restless soul]

You don't get along with many people?

Its funny. I was just thinking.  I don't really
 But I have the ability to get along with many people if I can tweak my sick thinking,

 

[Restless soul]

My sick thinking is what's damaging, as if you did not already get that feel

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

That's why it's better to focus on you first.