Marrying below your station

[TheRealCallie]

"In theory" you just said it. Think about it though. If you had no family to take you in on either side, no one to turn to. Would you be happy being with someone, maybe even have a family with someone, if you had to live on the street? Or would you rather attract someone with a job and a home?

I am not suggesting to be a gold digger, just that your partner having at least a job would be a requirement before you decide to be with them right?

Does love actually conquer all?

I've actually dated guys who didn't have jobs. They lose theirs due to downsizing or the like, but they were looking for another job. Like I said, as long as they are TRYING, that can be enough. It obviously wouldn't be forever. And I have no problem working retail until I get back on my feet. I would say fast food too, but for me personally, I couldn't stand the smell of meat to work fast food. lol

 

[Unsigned]

I once told my ex that I would live on the street with him as long as we were happy, because I loved him.

You are certainly entitled to feel that way, as we live in a free country.
But, I have to say, this is the reason our once great society is collapsing.
Traditions become so over hundreds, no THOUSANDS, of years because they work.
A male's PRIMARY JOB is to be able to support a female.
And females should choose males accordingly.
"Love" is garbage.
Practicality is what matters.

And yes, the world seems to not agree with me.
And yes, I am a quite miserable person...

 

[TheRealCallie]

You are certainly entitled to feel that way, as we live in a free country.
But, I have to say, this is the reason our once great society is collapsing.
Traditions become so over hundreds, no THOUSANDS, of years because they work.
A male's PRIMARY JOB is to be able to support a female.
And females should choose males accordingly.
"Love" is garbage.
Practicality is what matters.

And yes, the world seems to not agree with me.
And yes, I am a quite miserable person...

Why is it such a big deal, though? Money is money, regardless of who makes more. There are more ways to support than financially.

I am aware than you want to go back to the days of June and Ward Cleaver, but it's a different world now and I don't think that's why our "great" society is collapsing.

 

[Sunless Sky]

Why is it such a big deal, though? Money is money, regardless of who makes more. There are more ways to support than financially.

I am aware than you want to go back to the days of June and Ward Cleaver, but it's a different world now and I don't think that's why our "great" society is collapsing.

Most women like to feel taken care of, supported, and protected. Not because they can't do that for themselves, it's just something they expect from their romantic partners. So, a partner not providing that will cause issues down the line.

Do you agree or disagree?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Most women like to feel taken care of, supported, and protected. Not because they can't do that for themselves, it's just something they expect from their romantic partners. So, a partner not providing that will cause issues down the line.

Do you agree or disagree?

For me personally? I disagree. For a lot of other women in this world? I agree.

I'm not like most women though. I get it, men want to feel wanted and I certainly wouldn't be opposed to opening doors and all that ****, I neither need nor want to be taken care of. Perhaps it's because of how I grew up and how it was in my marriage. I never had that. I HAD to take care of myself and well, at this point, it's not something that could be easily changed. Not saying I wouldn't try, though, and I did with my last boyfriend, but I think ultimately I was just too independent for him. I think he was intimidated by me because I wouldn't/couldn't be a damsel in distress for him to save.

 

[Sunless Sky]

For me personally? I disagree. For a lot of other women in this world? I agree.

I'm not like most women though. I get it, men want to feel wanted and I certainly wouldn't be opposed to opening doors and all that ****, I neither need nor want to be taken care of. Perhaps it's because of how I grew up and how it was in my marriage. I never had that. I HAD to take care of myself and well, at this point, it's not something that could be easily changed. Not saying I wouldn't try, though, and I did with my last boyfriend, but I think ultimately I was just too independent for him. I think he was intimidated by me because I wouldn't/couldn't be a damsel in distress for him to save.

I get what you mean. My mother had a similar experience where she had to learn to take care of herself. Even in her marriage, she did a PhD, lectured, raised three boys, and took care of her invalid parents all by herself.

But, when I discussed this with her, she told me that men should be there for their women. They need to be that pillar of support that they know they can turn to when life gets too hard. That it is the duty of any good husband to make his wife feel protected and supported.

At this point in your life, should you choose to be with someone. What would you look for? (You don't have to answer if this is too personal a question)

 

[TheRealCallie]

At this point in your life, should you choose to be with someone. What would you look for? (You don't have to answer if this is too personal a question)

Honestly, I don't really know, but honesty and communication would be very high on the list as a requirement.
I know I can be a hard person to deal with and I try to be as honest as I can in relationships about why I am the way I am. I always ask if I do anything that annoys them or angera them, but like with my last boyfriend, he would never say anything except minor stuff that I already knew, which is, in part, what lead to our downfall. I would listen to him lie to his son and everyone else and I'm sorry but if you can't be honest with the people who are the closest to you, how can you expect me to believe you aren't also lying to me.

I don't have any set preferences on looks or wage or status or anything like that, but open and honest communication is a must. And the actions to back up that communication, of course.

 

[Sunless Sky]

Honestly, I don't really know, but honesty and communication would be very high on the list as a requirement.
I know I can be a hard person to deal with and I try to be as honest as I can in relationships about why I am the way I am. I always ask if I do anything that annoys them or angera them, but like with my last boyfriend, he would never say anything except minor stuff that I already knew, which is, in part, what lead to our downfall. I would listen to him lie to his son and everyone else and I'm sorry but if you can't be honest with the people who are the closest to you, how can you expect me to believe you aren't also lying to me.

I don't have any set preferences on looks or wage or status or anything like that, but open and honest communication is a must. And the actions to back up that communication, of course.

Now that you mention lying. Is all lying a problem for you? Or it is lies that hurt others the problem?

For example, one lie can be about finances or infedility (lie that hurts others) or a lie about how that person is doing because they'd rather deal with their own problems than make loved ones worry.

I am asking since I tend to do the latter.