Mediocrity.

[AnonymousMe]

So… I was having this conversation with my mom about the kind of lifestyle I could live with, and also because I think it’s the most appropriate for me, since I don’t think I’ll get very far in life.
 
I’m a 29-year-old male and despite still trying to improve my life to, at least, a mediocre level, I have little hope for my future, like, I don’t expect anything from myself anymore, I don’t know any good talents that I have, I don’t have a social life, due to willfully alienating myself from others for not being a successful or accomplished man, I just don’t have anything to offer as an individual.  I’m attending a university now, but whether I earn my Bachelor’s Degree or not, I don’t think it’ll make a big difference and will probably end up in a menial, low-wage job; I’d be 31 or 32-years-old at that point.  I definitely don’t want to be poor; I simply hope to have a lifestyle that covers my basic needs and, to be honest, it doesn’t sound too unappealing, in my opinion.
 
I am, what you would consider, a minimalist, I see things for their use and not for their luxury, meaning that if I see two related, functional things that I would want, I would go for the cheaper option and live happily with it.  I still live with my parents, but if I ever get to live on my own, I wouldn’t mind living in a micro apartment or a tiny house, I don’t have many needs anyway, I am a picky eater, I don’t think I belong anywhere, I don’t think I can get a Master’s Degree, I am lonely, so my mental wellbeing and physical health don’t matter that much.  My biggest dreams are not something special either: just to get a girlfriend or two and write a book.
 
Also, some things that I really appreciate in life are free time and money.  I don’t see much of a point in working all day, every day for someone else when I could be enjoying myself in things I like, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t work though, I don’t know if it would be possible to do, but I think balancing the two activities is the key.  When it comes to money, I am without a doubt a hoarder, I have an unhealthy obsession of saving it for no reason, I don’t like lending it and I even sacrifice my own happiness by not buying things I want.
 
I know everything I said makes me look unappealing, like a total loser, but I really can’t do anything about it, I’m aware of my limits and appreciate the little things, so I wonder, is it bad that I have to live this way?  Am I wrong for thinking in this way?  If I do manage to get the best case scenario and live my fulfilled life, would I still be considered a failure?  I would really appreciate a girl’s perspective, especially from those around my age.  Even my mom had a hard time in responding, she just didn’t knew what to say.

 

[Sir Joseph]

A girl your age isn't necessariliy going to give you wise counsel, and it appears to me that you need it.  So, disregard my response if you like, but I feel compelled to give some feedback. 

Your own words suggest a lack of self worth, direction, and purpose in life.  And while this may be common among people of all ages today, I don't think that accepting mediocrity with yourself and your life is a good path to pursue. Your thread here is in fact a good sign that you question your own current attitude and path trajectory.

I can't understand or explain your lack of interest or passion for any kind of work or career.  But, I do agree that your success or failure won't be dictated by whether you get that BS degree or not.  A degree does open up more opportunities, but today's low unemployment situation allows any industrious, capable person with a good attitude to pursue a number of good career paths.  May I suggest though that you continue with school and pursue that piece of paper.  It will help you down the road and buy you some time now to figure things out.

I read that one third of Americans struggle with directionless career paths, and I've known some that never find it. Even I, with a srong outdoor environmental drive, pursued 3 entirely different careers.  And, it was answering a summer job posting my college junior year that landed me my first real career path job. I had no idea that a cruddy, low paying intern position would lead to such a fantastic opportunity as soon as I graduated.  But, it often happens that way.  We pursue several opportunities, and the one that opens up is the direction taken.

Still, one needs to have an idea what opportunities to pursue.  This is where you need guidance.  Your school should have people and resources to help you with this.  And, there's career questionnaires on-line to be found for your own research efforts.  This takes time and effort, but it's a worthwhile process.  You need to be working on this now though, before you get out of school.  And I expect it's hard to get motivated to do this when your whole attitude about yourself and your life is disconcerting.

My suggestion as a Christian may seem off point to you, but I'd propose that addressing your self identity, worth, and purpose in life would improve your personal life, lift your attitude, and likely improve your career interests. To that end, I suggest the following video for you.  It's a 75 minute sermon you may or may not like, but one you seem to need.  I think it's worth your time, because accepting a mediocre life at your age would be a trajic and unnecessary waste of your life.

 

 

[Yeti1980]

Anonymous Me,

There's nothing wrong with being minimalist in many ways, but what I would recommend is that you adopt that minimalism to your thinking. Basically what I'm saying is that you appear to be overthinking things and imagining all sorts of doom and gloom for yourself, there's a lot to be said for a positive attitude bringing positive outcomes. Being at College/Uni is good, keep at it. You never know what is around the corner. There are people changing careers aged forty and beyond, you don't need to worry about being thirty.

I don't intend to sound mean or harsh, but the bottom line in this is that you're assuming some kind of lesser-ness about yourself and therefore not seeing things positively enough to understand your achievements. You're alive and well, studying, looking ahead. You seem to have a stash of cash behind you. What's supposed to be wrong with these things??

Do your thing, think less. Be happy.

 

[Diagnosed]

Have you read any book written by Robert Kiyusaki?

"Poor Dad, Rich Dad" may serve you and it's free PDF online.

It's seems you're aware of the (un) social DETERMINISM...

You'll be all you want to be!