mental frustration

[Living_in_solitude]

Hum indeed interresting post and it's funny the coincidence because prior to this post I was unable to describe it so I am glad that someone has brought it up. Thank you thread starter.

My mental frustration has two sides.

1)When I am in a social gathering and being unable to join the "Gang" conversation and feeling like I am being tossed aside because I have no friggin clue what the hell they are talking about
2)When I feel like I am a human pinata and being unable to defend myself because I don't seem to have the "required" status to be heard.

For the first The small talks are indeed cumbersome. I mean there they are talking about X-Box and video games, trips to places, food they ate etc etc etc. and you feel like gosh i got nothing to contribute. Euh ok! I wait carefully for an opportunity to jump in, any window which will allow me to just send a small signal to tell everybody like "Hello, I'm over here guys/girls. I am with you please addresse one word to me, make me feel like I am not just a ghost". What's so amazing about this is that they all seem to be very knowlegeable right to the smallest detail. Like the history of an actor, what she dresses what she reads how many times she goes to the bathroom a day and I'm there wondering like where the hell did they find time to know all of this? Of course come to the deep stuff like social issues, political. they know squat and they are not interrested because no body listens.

The latter is mainly because of my background. I come from a very violent place and I must admit violence is part of my culture, sorry but it is not my mistake i was raised in it. Back home if two people do not agree with each other they simply fight, which is not neccessary good, but at least the frustration is settled for at least a small period of time or untill the next argument. However coming to canada changed to formula. Over here violence is not an option so I had to learn to debate instead. But when debating leads me nowhere and i find myself trying too hard to convince people but the only two things I get either rejection or disrepect. The frustration cycle continues.

These were my 2 cents.

 

[mink]

What's so amazing about this is that they all seem to be very knowlegeable right to the smallest detail. Like the history of an actor, what she dresses what she reads how many times she goes to the bathroom a day and I'm there wondering like where the hell did they find time to know all of this?

I had the same problem, I used to wonder how they could click so well or how they could know all that to talk about and I don't. Like as if they were reading each other's minds. But now, if that happens, lol, I just ignore and do my thing. Life's too short to worry too much about why I can't click with certain people. But when I just do my thing, sometimes they come to me. That was how i dealt with it though..

 

[jales]

so okay i suppose the idea of this thread is 2 either talk about stuff that matters..or the vent about not being able to talk about those stuff..

Stuff that matters..I have a topic; Happiness!

There is this movie 'American Beauty' and in it the boy says something like; there is so much beauty in the world it's often too much to take in.

I thought that was so interesting ..because there really is (once you believe there is..or once you slow down and are able to take it all in)
Like that next movie..Elisabethtown (think that was the name). It was about slowing things down. Observing life and all that...

Okay granted happiness is more than just that...they say in order to be happy we should be social, and a bit creative and do things that we believe matters, keep active, exercise..

Don't know what else ..they also have quotes and stuff..I remember one says we should want less and increase your ability to get more..lol ..in order to be content.

Okay so I choose this topic happiness (and hopefully someone may reply) because...and important question to most people would be why the heck are we here in any case

I have no clue why we are here..but when I was younger (for a little while) I used to think that we were here to eat, sleep, have sex stay healthy and alive and have kids. Lol in my mind our biology was the map of our purpose...
then of course somewhere in my then philosophy of life there was, through the biology of pain/pleasure, ..pain= bad, pleasure= good...

Point being what ever our purpose is...on a very basic level pain is bad, pleasure is good..so we all in addition to food, sleep and sex..we want happiness.

For some of us physical health may mean happiness but for others nah..besides life gets complicated ..it's not as black and white as I'm painting it right?

Back to happiness though. There may not be any one formula to getting it but ...
Someone on this site said that there is a chemical which leads to happiness ...and then AAgassi (on this site asked) ...is it that the chemical (endorphins) makes us happy or that being happy produces the chemical..

This is sort of an important question because...although the endorphins may be responsible for the feeling of well being..our minds have to tell our bodies to release this chemical and our minds can only do this if we recognized that this is a time to be happy..

It sort of makes you question ..or think of just how much (besides physical pleasures like taking drugs and stuff) does happiness simply rely on perception.

I mean if we were able to recognize beauty in everything around us wouldn't we be happier. Thing is though belief is not that simple, things have to happen to change a person's belief.

But on the flip-side it is that simple cause all that has to happen is 'the snap of a finger'. Like at alter calls and stuff when people get converted simply by the words 'you can have salvation now if you just accept it'

You can. Okay so anyone has anything to say about happiness..what do you think we all need to be happier? Are you happy? What makes you happy..or what do you think would make you happy?

 

[Josh]

I feel this one all the time. My few so called friends are pretty much idoits so anything that has to deal with school or something other then beer or women is way above their heads.

I really wish I had people to talk to about things like stephen hawking therioes or genetic research pretty much any of those "wierd science things"

I tend to stay away from discussions about politics or religion any subject where it is more opinions more then facts and logic.

 

[Krossknife]

you know, I really do not know what catagory i would fall under in this area, sometimes I am really interested in a certain area of something, and I can talk about it in my own way and other times I understand the depth to what you might be talking about and want to reply with opinions, interests, etc, but what my brain might know and forming it into words to come out of my mouth lol are two very different things. For me tho I really do wish I was zapped with a ray of stupidy, because in this life it seems to me the deeper I try to go into something it usually leads into some realization or depression or some type of anger that other people do not see this and I do...Might seem wierd but I would rather enjoy life as an idiot lol than to ponder things and in the position my life has been in...I would long to just be reality proof.

Hmm maybe if I go bang my head into a pipe and so one I could become that way lol J/K.

Anyways if I shared my deepest thoughts and ideas about the world, the wars, poverty, theories, and so on. I would be worse off than I am even now..

 

[mink]

so okay i suppose the idea of this thread is 2 either talk about stuff that matters..or the vent about not being able to talk about those stuff..

Stuff that matters..I have a topic; Happiness!

There is this movie 'American Beauty' and in it the boy says something like; there is so much beauty in the world it's often too much to take in.

I thought that was so interesting ..because there really is (once you believe there is..or once you slow down and are able to take it all in)
Like that next movie..Elisabethtown (think that was the name). It was about slowing things down. Observing life and all that...

Okay granted happiness is more than just that...they say in order to be happy we should be social, and a bit creative and do things that we believe matters, keep active, exercise..

Don't know what else ..they also have quotes and stuff..I remember one says we should want less and increase your ability to get more..lol ..in order to be content.

Okay so I choose this topic happiness (and hopefully someone may reply) because...and important question to most people would be why the heck are we here in any case

I have no clue why we are here..but when I was younger (for a little while) I used to think that we were here to eat, sleep, have sex stay healthy and alive and have kids. Lol in my mind our biology was the map of our purpose...
then of course somewhere in my then philosophy of life there was, through the biology of pain/pleasure, ..pain= bad, pleasure= good...

Point being what ever our purpose is...on a very basic level pain is bad, pleasure is good..so we all in addition to food, sleep and sex..we want happiness.

For some of us physical health may mean happiness but for others nah..besides life gets complicated ..it's not as black and white as I'm painting it right?

Back to happiness though. There may not be any one formula to getting it but ...
Someone on this site said that there is a chemical which leads to happiness ...and then AAgassi (on this site asked) ...is it that the chemical (endorphins) makes us happy or that being happy produces the chemical..

This is sort of an important question because...although the endorphins may be responsible for the feeling of well being..our minds have to tell our bodies to release this chemical and our minds can only do this if we recognized that this is a time to be happy..

It sort of makes you question ..or think of just how much (besides physical pleasures like taking drugs and stuff) does happiness simply rely on perception.

I mean if we were able to recognize beauty in everything around us wouldn't we be happier. Thing is though belief is not that simple, things have to happen to change a person's belief.

But on the flip-side it is that simple cause all that has to happen is 'the snap of a finger'. Like at alter calls and stuff when people get converted simply by the words 'you can have salvation now if you just accept it'

You can. Okay so anyone has anything to say about happiness..what do you think we all need to be happier? Are you happy? What makes you happy..or what do you think would make you happy?

You could start a new thread with this one..lol, on the topic happiness itself.

I get what you're saying there. Well yes, recognising beauty around us could make us happier but also most times it just makes me feel glad that there are beauty in other things but not exactly happy. I could see beauty in something, but then I might long for it so it would just make me sadder. Lol..That's just how i see it.

I think we all need some peace and harmony to be happy. Some acceptance of other people who are unaccepted in general. Some tolerance since no one's perfect, since we all have our negatives.
I'm not happy cos there's not much peace and harmony around, nor much acceptance. But I'm thankful for the things and the people i already have in my life. Can't ask for more (but seems like i am lol ).

 

[mink]

I really wish I had people to talk to about things like stephen hawking therioes or genetic research pretty much any of those "wierd science things"

Yeah, not many people like hearing anything scientific lol. But it's interesting sometimes, if they can't enjoy that, at least we do. For our own good.

For me tho I really do wish I was zapped with a ray of stupidy, because in this life it seems to me the deeper I try to go into something it usually leads into some realization or depression or some type of anger that other people do not see this and I do...Might seem wierd but I would rather enjoy life as an idiot lol than to ponder things and in the position my life has been in...I would long to just be reality proof.

Lol..it happens to me too. The deeper I try to find out about something, the more nuts I become and obsessed for awhile which will eventually lead to some emotional reaction. Right now, I just like doing that lol

 

[jales]

lol Josh, PM LonelyCollegeStudent, he likes to talk about those stuff..

Mink, yea I see what you mean...I don't have the solution to happiness
what I proposed there was a sort of brain-washing method, tell yourself that the world is great..and really believe it, and keep believing it..find beauty in anything and let that beauty make you happy.

It is brain-washing, but it can work (if your situation is one in which you are not undergoing any sort of harm physically..or so). And yes we would still need social interaction to be happy. But if we are unhappy for other reasons ...like 'life is unfair, or i'm ugly, or i have no purpose'

Then maybe it would work to tell yourself that life is beautiful..meant to be enjoyed and observed (taken in; from the smallest movement to the most inhuman acts). And for the bad things that we take in we'd have to know that we can change them, because things can change..

Again it's all belief ..brainwash even; but if it can leave you contented mentally ...it may be worth a shot

 

[mink]

Yeah you're right too, jales
It's possible if someone takes that step towards believing and brainwashing ourselves. I know i can but i don't want to as yet, not at the moment lol. But might do me good sometime soon

 

[NewBirth]

i dont know. im nowhere near in favor of lying 2 myself. but i think it does help 2 c the good things in life

 

[Guest]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm glad I found this post. Not only have I been getting sexually frustrated (I'm the poster of that, btw), but the mental frustration is constant. I was a philosophy major in college, so I completely understand.

The other day I went to a bar with my cousin and some of his friends who I've known for a while. They are exactly how you described: always talking about what's on TV and **** like that. I can't stand it. Don't get me wrong. I like to be entertained. But this is all they care about. "Did you see that episode of South Park/Daily Show/Curb You Enthusiasm?" "Did you hear that new album?" "Yeah, that sucked. They're horrible." "That **** was funny." Laugh, laugh, laugh...

That's all there ever is. They are so god-damn proud of themselves for being culturally aware. It's amazing how cynical they are about it too. I hate having to sit there while they rip into someone's music or movie while I know full well that they don't have a creative cell in their bodies. They are in bands that play extremely mechanical music without lyrics. They are afraid of being open and creative. Being intellectual or emotional (or "emo" as they like to call it now) about anything is a social crime. Any time I try to bring up politics, philosophy, or anything remotely serious the whole mood changes. I've been known to ruin moments at the table. I love to goof off and tell stupid jokes too, but I crave that intellectual stimulation. I want to explore that human experience with others. Instead all I'm forced to listen to are people's complaints about the latest Simpsons episode. They seem to laugh and party-it-up all the time and I don't know how they manage to live with that. They live completely apathetic lives yet they are the ones with girlfriends, good jobs, and money. I'm the "deep" one who is miserable, alone, and poor. There doesn't seem to be justice in it. I often times just sit there and listen to their shallow ******** every night. I'm forced to join in or look miserable. It sucks so much.

I've never been able to find anyone who understands the way I feel about any of this.

What's hilariously tragic is that there are people who feel exactly the same about this kind of stuff, it's just because there is such a small number of them dotted round the globe (mainly in western world i assume - if you're struggling in poverty i don't think everyone is thinking quite so hard about social dynamics and being a loser etc.) that they never meet each other. I've luckily found a few others during my time at school, but now we've all moved away from each other. I also think that they'll 'grow-up' and out of this way of thinking and i'll be left being the one who is genuinely unhappy. The fact that i am actually quite unattractive as well as being socially inept probably doesn't help. But oh well, what can you do? Apart from suicide which is frankly ridiculous. Another thing that makes me really quite upset sometimes is the memories of being pre-pubescent. I was popular, happy and blissfully unaware of things. As soon as i hit puberty (at 15) i began to be withdrawn etc. I'm now 19 and I am really quite depressed. These forums are great for getting things off your chest but they don't really help with anyones situation - there is no action plan or self-help scheme. If you think in a certain way you have already lost the battle. Try and find people similarly lonely, rejected, intelligent, unattractive, thoughtful, arrogant, emotionally selfish and lazy (like me)

 

[jales]

i dont know. im nowhere near in favor of lying 2 myself. but i think it does help 2 c the good things in life

it's not really lying to yourself ....it's believing something because it brings you comfort ...and because you understand that belief has power..

i'm not sure that it's possible to ever really lie to yourself..you can lie to others..but you'd always know if you try to lie to yourself. And if you are really good..and do successfully trick yourself into believing something that was once a lie to you...once it becomes belief it is no longer a lie..

not sure if the 'think happy thoughts' would work for everyone..but a lot of the times when we are continually sad..
it seems apparent that we have to change the way in which we view the world..

You might say this is a lie believing in so much goodness...because there is bad stuff in the world as well..but it's actually only a lie if you don't really believe it..n if you don't believe it then it won't work in any case..

see it seems that it's sometimes easy to see the bad stuff in life and not give the good a second glance...

i'm not sure but things in the world often seem to tend towards balance ..and belief (in my opinion can greatly affect a person's life). Good happy beliefs can make you happy, or leave you content..bad beliefs like 'the world is a selfish yadda, yadda' can ..well they can make you happy as well

haha..bepends on the person..
point is yea..notice the good parts of life; like that 'bad' things can be changed ..and often do. And the fact that through believing something good your life can be enriched, and the fact that we aren't alone in life...i mean we are..but also we aren't..

Because there are always people around..and always people in worse situations or just similar ones...

anyway this is not really a discussion ..just my opinions

:0)

 

[Guest]

Sometimes I feel this way a lot, at least as far as intellectual conversations go, but other times I feel even worse when I can't talk with someone about weird, bizarre things, or observations of nature/humans/etc., instead of the typical pleasantries that most people are content with sharing.

 

[mink]

Very mentally frustrated..the midnight hour sucks triple times more now and a splitting headache definitely doesn't help any mentally frustrated person. Headaches can add on to mental frustrations too.

 

[NewBirth]

hope ur headache got better. they do add on 2 mental frustration

 

[mink]

Lol it's gotten worse apparently..swollen head..swollen eyes lol you can probably imagine what it looks like

 

[NewBirth]

garfield syndrome

 

[mink]

It's cute actually if you look at it in a way..but it's more ugly actually

 

[NewBirth]

hope it doesnt last 2 long

 

[mink]

Thank you NB