My enemy is myself

[ladyforsaken]

Hey BeyondShy, sorry I just saw this. I’m glad you’re keeping well there and nice to see you popping by and remembering us.

Hope things continue to look up for you there!

 

[BeyondShy]

Hey BeyondShy, sorry I just saw this. I’m glad you’re keeping well there and nice to see you popping by and remembering us.

Hope things continue to look up for you there!

That's ok! You didn't know I was back and I am glad I had a chance to say hello again to you before I head to the hills again. Stay safe, healthy and happy and have more time for yourself instead of more time when you are working. That's my plan for this year.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Same to you! I am planning the same for myself this year, more focus on myself and living better.

Wish you all the best!

 

[BeyondShy]

Same to you! I am planning the same for myself this year, more focus on myself and living better.

Wish you all the best!

Thank you. And if you can when you see Serenia please tell her to have a good year. I appreciate it if you can.

Bye all.

 

[A Hologram]

its also the vast majority of woman who only look for men taller than themselves or are more interested in having *** with their copies (lesbians)

of course belief in yourself is a major point too but even with that you will struggle with your height and unloving of smaller men woman..

its nothing to do with a few extra pounds.

lots of tall fat guys get the woman.

that group of girls you mentioned are spouting ********, they dont want mr nice guy, they want mr tall big biceps bully

woman hate harmless men'

 

[Sci-Fi]

its also the vast majority of woman who only look for men taller than themselves or are more interested in having *** with their copies (lesbians)

of course belief in yourself is a major point too but even with that you will struggle with your height and unloving of smaller men woman..

its nothing to do with a few extra pounds.

lots of tall fat guys get the woman.

that group of girls you mentioned are spouting ********, they dont want mr nice guy, they want mr tall big biceps bully

woman hate harmless men'

You've already been warned once about this kind of behaviour.  Stop.

 

[Cosmicsleeper]

**** this world

 

[BeyondShy]

Hello everyone . I hope everyone in here has been doing well and as far as for me let me just say I'm doing the best I can.

It was a quiet year for me and not really having anything to do with the terrible pandemic. I hope you all have avoided the covid virus because I don't want anyone to have it. I never got it and I thank God for that. I watched baseball a lot when it started in July and that is about it.

Again, I won't be here long.

Best wishes for a better 2021.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Hello everyone . I hope everyone in here has been doing well and as far as for me let me just say I'm doing the best I can.

It was a quiet year for me and not really having anything to do with the terrible pandemic. I hope you all have avoided the covid virus because I don't want anyone to have it. I never got it and I thank God for that. I watched baseball a lot when it started in July and that is about it.

Again, I won't be here long.

Best wishes for a better 2021.

Wait a minute.  It started before July.....

 

[BeyondShy]

Wait a minute.  It started before July.....

No, the season got delayed because of the virus. They did report back in February and played exhibition games until the middle of March and then things got shut down. The season didn't start until July 23rd or somewhere around that time.

 

[BeyondShy]

I wanted to say hi to Richard39 and I hope after all this time his real life situation has improved.

I hope Serenia is doing well and being safe where she is.

I will be checking out Rodent and Bender's thread. Lot of interesting stuff there.

Finally a big hello to TheRealCallie. In my life I have found that women, and not just her, are extremely knowledgeable about many things and all you got to do is listen. Which means I will be getting one of her famous clubs in a day or two because I didn't listen! I thank her for her friendship and I wish her nothing but happiness in life.

I will be leaving after the first of the year but I haven't set a date yet. It depends on how things progress.

Now enjoy your holiday!

 

[TheRealCallie]

Wait a minute.  It started before July.....

No, the season got delayed because of the virus. They did report back in February and played exhibition games until the middle of March and then things got shut down. The season didn't start until July 23rd or somewhere around that time.

Ohhh, you meant the baseball season, not the COVID season. lol

---

Which means I will be getting one of her famous clubs in a day or two because I didn't listen! 

Why wait.  Let's just get it out of the way :club:

 

[Just Games]

My enemy is myself. I've realized this for a long time and yet I am unable to change.

I look in the mirror and I have no trouble at all seeing the qualities that I believe are lacking when I compare them to other people. I am only five feet six inches tall and I wish I were taller. I wish I were a bit thinner. I wish I could smile as easy as I see others do. I even practice smiling in the mirror and it just never looks right to me, like I'm making a funny face or something.

I even have a hard time saying the word "shy" out loud. I don't know why I am uncomfortable saying it. Just another mystery I suppose.

Shyness has caused me to miss out on many things in my life. I never went to my junior prom or senior ball. I wanted to so much but I never had the courage to take the steps to ask a girl to go with me.

I was on a bus once coming home from school and there were a group of girls sitting near me talking and having a good time and they started talking about not ever being able to find a guy who would treat them the way they should be treated. I wanted to tell them that I am one of those guys that they were looking for but I never did. I remember this like it was yesterday.

That's one of my problems that I carry around too. I have a fantastic memory and there are times when I don't know if it is a blessing or a curse. If someone says something about me or to me that insults me or embarrasses me I won't forget it and I'll keep re-hashing it over in my head like a film strip played over and over.

I am so concerned with what people may think of me or if they'll judge me. I can't follow conversations well because I am so concerned with what I am going to say next that I don't follow what the other person is saying.

I am not asking to be the life of any party. I don't look to be the center of attention. But I desperately would like to have some and I would like to be able to talk with a girl without finding something on the floor more interesting than her eyes and smile.

I am tired of being me. I want the person that is inside of me to be seen by others. I'm tired of what I see in the mirror.

I can really emphasize with you I went through this in my teens and early twenties and it was incredibly painful,but then I read the book How to make friends and influence people,and for a couple of years changed my life and gave me the courage to ask girls out.But then I relapsed right through to my late forties only now am I trying to beat it again pushing myself to do stuff and talk to people .It is really enjoyable now.Good luck to you Beyond Shy.

 

[BeyondShy]

---

Which means I will be getting one of her famous clubs in a day or two because I didn't listen! 

Why wait.  Let's just get it out of the way :club:

---

Thank you so much. I feel much better!

I can really emphasize with you I went through this in my teens and early twenties and it was incredibly painful,but then I read the book How to make friends and influence people,and for a couple of years changed my life and gave me the courage to ask girls out.But then I relapsed right through to my late forties only now am I trying to beat it again pushing myself to do stuff and talk to people .It is really enjoyable now.Good luck to you Beyond Shy.

You quoted a post I made in here over 5 1/2 years ago and things are a bit different for me now. At the time I wrote that I was really committed to reaching out to try to make friends both in here and in my life away from here. I felt both were equally important and I still do.

Now I feel if I don’t make a friend with a new co-worker I don’t analyze why it didn’t happen. When I realize that I did nothing to cause it I say the hell with it and I move on. Or if I am not invited to go here or there. Hey, ok.

Same for in here. You see, I used to be an active member here year-round but now I only come back for the holiday season. When I was here consistently I was shunned to the point of it affecting me away from the forum. A lot of the people that have done it are either gone from here or have not been here for a long time either.

My point is this. I do miss quite a few of the people here and that’s a fact. The ones that will get a perverse pleasure out of ignoring me these next few weeks or so can do so gladly. I’m not here for them and I will try to stay out of their way.

Thank you for posting in this thread. I appreciate it.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Same for in here. You see, I used to be an active member here year-round but now I only come back for the holiday season. When I was here consistently I was shunned to the point of it affecting me away from the forum. A lot of the people that have done it are either gone from here or have not been here for a long time either.

Now wait a minute.  With several people (and I know this for a fact because I know some of those people well and talk to them often), you shunned yourself.  You didn't give them a chance.  You perceived them as out to get you and no one could talk you down from it.  That is where you ran into most of your troubles here. 
Stop blaming others when you are just as much (if not more) at fault in some of the situations. :club:

 

[BeyondShy]

Now wait a minute.  With several people (and I know this for a fact because I know some of those people well and talk to them often), you shunned yourself.  You didn't give them a chance.  You perceived them as out to get you and no one could talk you down from it.  That is where you ran into most of your troubles here. 

Propaganda started by the anti-BeyondShy establishment.

 

[BeyondShy]

Propaganda started by the anti-BeyondShy establishment.

I am not in the habit of quoting myself but I should explain that this was an attempt at humor but I should have realized that none of you know me well enough to know I am joking and that is on me.



..........................................................................................................................................................................

A funny thing happened to me yesterday. There was a package at my front door and as I was walking up I immediately wondered who sent it. When I was about to bring it inside I noticed that the package was not for me but rather for someone not too far away. So before I got comfortable after my walk I brought it over to its rightful over. The address on the box had a woman’s name on it so with my bad luck I knew she had to be home. But do you know how some people can put you at ease rather quickly? I believe this is how this person was because she was on the lookout for this package and was hoping to get it before Christmas.

The next thing I knew she had me come in and I had a cup of coffee that was offered to me. I don’t know how many questions I answered but there were a lot and I even thought of some to ask back. I think that was what surprised me the most about this whole thing.

After awhile I left because she was going to pick up some last minute shopping items and I was happy to help out. It took until the twenty-second of December but I was able to spread some Christmas cheer.

 

[TheRealCallie]

..........................................................................................................................................................................

A funny thing happened to me yesterday. There was a package at my front door and as I was walking up I immediately wondered who sent it. When I was about to bring it inside I noticed that the package was not for me but rather for someone not too far away. So before I got comfortable after my walk I brought it over to its rightful over. The address on the box had a woman’s name on it so with my bad luck I knew she had to be home. But do you know how some people can put you at ease rather quickly? I believe this is how this person was because she was on the lookout for this package and was hoping to get it before Christmas.

The next thing I knew she had me come in and I had a cup of coffee that was offered to me. I don’t know how many questions I answered but there were a lot and I even thought of some to ask back. I think that was what surprised me the most about this whole thing.

After awhile I left because she was going to pick up some last minute shopping items and I was happy to help out. It took until the twenty-second of December but I was able to spread some Christmas cheer.

Aww, that's great.  I hope you spread some Christmas cheer to yourself, as well.

 

[BeyondShy]

Aww, that's great.  I hope you spread some Christmas cheer to yourself, as well.

Yes I did, I helped someone out. That was good enough.

 

[BeyondShy]

I hope all of you here are having a very nice Christmas. It seems to come by fast every year, doesn’t it? When I was a kid December would drag on and it would also seem that the 25th of December would never arrive. Now it just flies by.

Christmas is an important holiday and it will always be that way for me but it isn’t the same anymore. You see, I lost my mother in 2018 and I just look at it differently now. It’s almost a relief when the day actually does arrive so I can put it out of my mind for another year.

I had fun yesterday afternoon calling relatives to wish them a happy holiday and to let them know I was still thinking of them and it was nice to know that the feeling was the same from them. There is a distinct difference between being alone and being lonely. I’m not alone because I do have a good family support system but there are times when I am lonely. I don’t know why I am going on like this but maybe because it’s Christmas. I’m happy when I hear about how other people had a nice day today and that includes all of you in here.

Merry Christmas.