My messed up life in repair

[Richard]

I'll try not to drag out my social problems I know you all must be bored of reading them so I'll keep it short, lol.

I was badly bullied at school so much so it really affected my confidence in talking to people of my own age. I used to go through the school day without saying a single word to anyone. I went through being bullied nearly every day for 3 years of my life, it was my idea of total hell or torture .

After leaving school it was like a breath of fresh air for me, I struggled to find a job and ended up being just a "spare part" in this world for about a year, again not speaking to anyone my own age. I used to run a gaming website which kept me occupied but I never left the house and when I did it was because I had to.

Lets fast forward a bit...

After about a year I joined college I struggled a bit there because there was 1 or 2 of the people who bullied me in the course which made me struggle to make friends. A new guy joined and I was asked to take him under my wing and because of that I made about 3-4 friends there. I enjoyed my time in college but as the saying goes, "all things must come to an end." I left once the course had finished and kind of lost touch with the friends I made.

Fast forwarding again...

I got a job in the profession I like, however I was kind of semi-bullied there by a co-worker more or less he'd enjoy poking fun or making do chores he didn't want to do. Thankfully he left and they employed a nice Russian guy who I got along well with, I'd call him more of a friend than a co-worker. Of course he left and went off to London.

After the Russian guy leaving and loosing the friends I made at college, to this day I've not had any friends and I'm a social outcast again.

I turned 23 this year and something made me wake up and smell the coffee. No longer can I hideaway and no longer can I blame my past for my present situation and future. I've started getting in shape, hell I even joined Facebook to try and gain some sort of social interaction and find the people who didn't bully me at school/college.

I've got to say that this year so far is a good year for me, I've broken out the shell and grown up a lot, naturally I don't have any friends still but my main focus is to find someone to love.

Nearly every day at work I go out to a supermarket and get served by the most pretty and down to earth girl I've ever seen, she smiles and looks in my eyes when serving me. This has been going on for about a year now and I really want to get to know her but I just can't bring myself to ask her out or ask her if she is spoken for. Other than the obvious of rejection, I'm more scarred to ask in her workplace for a date surrounded by customers (plus it's not a romantic location) and I'm also worried I'll make a fool of myself if she has a boyfriend, then to top it all off I'll have to see her every day if I'm unsuccessful too which would make for an uncomfortable experience to go through.

I feel I need to take a deep breath and just ask her. I'm good looking (not to be full of myself) and friendly just like her, but I'm so worried about making a fool of myself and possibly going back into a outcast shell if she declines my date invitation.

I need some reassurance or help, I need someone to talk to and somewhere to vent. I also apologise if all this doesn't make sence, this is years worth of stuff just pouring out my head.

 

[PurpleDays]

It sounds very good that you're having a good year!

I would recommend you ask the girl out for just a drink, no intention of anything, just a drink. You can ask when she finishes work, etc.

Does she wear any rings or special jewellery? That may be a sign.

I'd say go for it. The worst thing that"d happen is her turning you down, but she sounds nice, so I bet she'd do it in a nice way. Go for it! One of my biggest daydreams in my job in the summer (I work at a Costa) is that one day a customer'd whisk me away.

You have nothing to lose and perhaps a lot to gain. I'm sure she'd be flattered.

Be brave! And come back and tell us how it goes!! I believe in you!

 

[Richard]

Thank you for your reply PurpleDays.

I'll definitely try the drink line as it is much better than the lines I was thinking in my head to ask her. They were typical bloke comments!

She does wear a ring or two, but I'm sure they aren't wedding or engagement rings -- at least I hope there not!

The fact you were working at Costa and thinking like that has given me a lot of confidence to ask her so thank you! To be honest when I'm at work I hope that someone would come into the shop and ask me out, so perhaps everyone thinks like that at work, I dunno!

Again, thank you, thank you, thank you! All I need is that reassurance from someone and a place to report back too as I can't do that with my parents or my brother to be honest, so thank you.

If she is working on Thursday I will try my best to maintain my composure and ask. I guess I'll have to block out the other customers and buy lots of things so I have the chance to ask without rushing it.

By the way, I have written my mobile number on a bit of paper ready, would it be wrong to give it to her straight away if she says yes? I mean I feel it'd give her reassurance that I'm a safe person (as in not a mugger), a line of contact in case of a reason she can't turn up or a way to talk to me or get to know me more before the date.

I think the waiting is going to be the hardest part for me now. If I could just get up off this chair a go down to the shop right now and ask I would do it in a heartbeat! I tend to think about things too much and it makes it much worse, plus the waiting game is painful.

 

[PurpleDays]

Ahh, you sound like a really nice, genuine lad. I wish you the best of luck.

Yeah, writing your number down sounds good - it'll speed things along.

When does she work, in the day or night?

Either way, I'm sure she'll be flattered. And yeah, I work in a Costa, Smiths, M&S and I think the same in all my jobs, haha.

Feel free to report back - I for one am excited! I'm a massive romantic, so I hope it goes well for you

 

[Richard]

Ahh, you sound like a really nice, genuine lad. I wish you the best of luck.

Yeah, writing your number down sounds good - it'll speed things along.

When does she work, in the day or night?

Either way, I'm sure she'll be flattered. And yeah, I work in a Costa, Smiths, M&S and I think the same in all my jobs, haha.

Feel free to report back - I for one am excited! I'm a massive romantic, so I hope it goes well for you

Thank you.

She works during the days but sometimes she's not there so she could do late evenings possibly.

Again thank you very much, we'll see what happens and I'll definitely report back. My mind set is that if she is in I'll do it, if not then well it'll be the day after and so on, as she is sooo nice I can't just ignore the way I feel about her.

*Crosses everything!*

 

[PurpleDays]

Best of luck! I hope it goes well.

If it doesn't... don't kill me

 

[Richard]

Best of luck! I hope it goes well.

If it doesn't... don't kill me

You've been a big help and you'll be invited to the wedding! But really I think we'll cross one bridge at a time first, lol.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Yeah, I would risk it too. At worst, you'll make a girl's day more interesting!

 

[Stride]

Nothing has been said that hasn't already, but I wish you the best of luck!

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
Best of luck, I'm sure you'll be just fine, whatever happens. Let us know how it goes.
I know what M&S is, what's Costa? It's been awhile since I've been to the UK.

Teresa

 

[PurpleDays]

Costa is a coffee franchise. Sort of like Starbucks but a lot nicer and better quality of coffee.

 

[I'm Fine]

As everyone else has already said - good luck.

 

[Richard]

OMG I'm such a bloody *****!!!

She was there, on her own in the tobacco counter. I walked around an aisle twice planning what I was going to say, as it was my prime opportunity. Of course like a god damn coward I didn't do it! I couldn't even go up to her to pay for my things. I cowardly walked to another counter paid and left, kicking myself and calling myself all names under the sun as I walked back to my work.

Aw! I'm such an *****! I'm just ruining my life by not asking her!

 

[IgnoredOne]

Relax. We all get stressed sometimes - don't worry about it. You tried to some extent, and that's good! Now see if you can get any further.

Be proud of what you've done, don't beat yourself up.

You're letting it affect you too much. She's a nice and pretty girl, not your One Chance at Normalcy; just take courage in having the will and confidence enough to try out your luck, and be happy either way.