itsmylife
Well-known member
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2008
- Messages
- 231
- Reaction score
- 6
I honestly don't know what to do next.
I was ill in different ways for a long time, i received different types of help and support and in many ways I became better. I was happier. I'm still in that place, I'm still stable right now. But now that I've sorted so many of my main issues, i'm left looking deeper and i just don't understand what's wrong with me.
I know what I want, I know what would make me happy. I want a proper relationship, I want friends, I want people to care. I accept now that when I was ill it was kind of understandable why people kept away. Now that I'm more stable people are happier to be around me but for some reason I keep messing it up. I can't let myself get anywhere with anyone. People will contact me and I'll try to keep in touch but I lose interest so quickly and I don't know why. They will try for a while to maintain contact but eventually get so fed up of me pushing them away or keeping them at a distance that they stay away and I can't blame them for that because it's my fault. I used to blame others but I know now it is on me.
I don't know why I do it. And I don't know how to stop. What i do know is that until I figure it out I will continue to be alone.
I was ill in different ways for a long time, i received different types of help and support and in many ways I became better. I was happier. I'm still in that place, I'm still stable right now. But now that I've sorted so many of my main issues, i'm left looking deeper and i just don't understand what's wrong with me.
I know what I want, I know what would make me happy. I want a proper relationship, I want friends, I want people to care. I accept now that when I was ill it was kind of understandable why people kept away. Now that I'm more stable people are happier to be around me but for some reason I keep messing it up. I can't let myself get anywhere with anyone. People will contact me and I'll try to keep in touch but I lose interest so quickly and I don't know why. They will try for a while to maintain contact but eventually get so fed up of me pushing them away or keeping them at a distance that they stay away and I can't blame them for that because it's my fault. I used to blame others but I know now it is on me.
I don't know why I do it. And I don't know how to stop. What i do know is that until I figure it out I will continue to be alone.