That doesn't work because if you can't find someone sexually attractive first as a minimum prerequisite you're appreciation for them will only be as a friend. So it's still a necessity whether or not it takes a back seat later on.
You're asking a lot. Nobody says to two 25 year old's "you should appreciate each on other on the emotional level with the physical side a minor factor." We just accept that physical attraction is normal for people around that age. But because we're older we're meant to have evolved beyond that, meet this higher bar, seek a companion without any need of it. I can't do it, sorry. And I wouldn't expect it from a woman either. (I'd be rather insulted if she admitted she liked me exclusively for my personality.)
Not to argue, but I actually did always hear that you were supposed to value personality over looks, even when I was younger. I didn't believe it as a kid, and I thought no one else did either, I felt like it was one of those things that society said to try to make the world seem nice, but that no one actually believed in practice. But in time, I came to understand why it makes sense.
And I would be more complimented if a woman thought I was interesting, rather than if she just thought I looked good. I feel like being interesting is more permanent than looks, so I feel like it's deeper-level liking.
I'm not saying that you're supposed to evolve beyond looks, or meet a higher bar. But I am saying, I think relationships based on companionship are stronger than relationships based on ***. The more I think about it, the more I think a person you (general you) could have real feelings for and a real relationship with, and a person you find hot, aren't necessarily going to be in the same place. I kind of feel like, for the most part, the whole "hot girl" thing is a fantasy for most people, which only gets egged on by other guys and the media. And if all that is so, I'd rather have companionship than looks.
I don't think I'd get anywhere in the looks-first arena, and even if I did, if I don't really care about or like the person, it wouldn't do me any good anyway. The more I forget about the "cool kid" world, the happier I am. They were just never my kind of people.
Maybe most people don't think of it like this though. I'm in the "companionship" mode of thinking about it. I just don't think I'm one of those people who could do the looks thing, even if I had muscles and money today. I don't have that personality, and don't connect with that kind of person.
In any case, I don't mean to upset you. I'm just saying, it's difficult to take a looks-first approach, and a lot of the time it might not really be worth it.
