Odd behavior

[bleed_the_freak]

From about the age of 14 to the age of 17, my teenager also loved the "if-you-don't-catch-me-red-handed-and-can't-prove-it-with-photos-and-eye-witness-testimony-it's-not-a-lie" game. She was a prolific, determined, and compulsive liar. In fact, I COULD catch her red-handed and she would still deny. She realized that it didn't matter if she sounded logical. It didn't matter if she sounded reasonable. It didn't matter if she sounded sane. All that mattered was her parent was distracted with her game of logical argumentation rather than dealing with the real issues.

Distracting non-issue: You can't prove it. Did I take it? Did I not take it? Did I sell it? Did I give it away? Did I trade it for other drugs? Did I flush it down the toilet to piss you off?

Actual issue: Your medicine count is off. This is not the first time. You stories aren't convincing, not that they actually matter. We will be administering your medicine directly to you as if you were a toddler.

 

[BadGuy]

Might want to explain to him ... medication in any other container than they were dispensed in is illegal
Also grounds for a trafficking charge
Stats are very high on kids medicating from their parents medicine cabinet

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http://www.drugfreekidscanada.org/?gclid=CLa6pYbnntECFYi2wAodPzoNmw

 

[EveWasFramed]

Might want to explain to him ... medication in any other container than they were dispensed in is illegal
Also grounds for a trafficking charge
Stats are very high on kids medicating from their parents medicine cabinet

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http://www.drugfreekidscanada.org/?gclid=CLa6pYbnntECFYi2wAodPzoNmw

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Ugh. I'll have to hide my ambien I guess, lol. 
It's the only controlled medication in the house.  
Thanks for the info about the legalities on trafficking- maybe it will frighten him. 
:club:

 

[SofiasMami]

From about the age of 14 to the age of 17, my teenager also loved the "if-you-don't-catch-me-red-handed-and-can't-prove-it-with-photos-and-eye-witness-testimony-it's-not-a-lie" game. She was a prolific, determined, and compulsive liar. In fact, I COULD catch her red-handed and she would still deny. She realized that it didn't matter if she sounded logical. It didn't matter if she sounded reasonable. It didn't matter if she sounded sane. All that mattered was her parent was distracted with her game of logical argumentation rather than dealing with the real issues.

Distracting non-issue: You can't prove it. Did I take it? Did I not take it? Did I sell it? Did I give it away? Did I trade it for other drugs? Did I flush it down the toilet to piss you off?

Actual issue: Your medicine count is off. This is not the first time. You stories aren't convincing, not that they actually matter. We will be administering your medicine directly to you as if you were a toddler.

Yes, I agree with this. The "you can't PROVE it" line is a pile of ********. You have circumstantial evidence and that's enough.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I can certainly leave him one on the counter at night so he will have it in the morning. He leaves for school before my daughter and I get up for school/work.
Is there really anyway to make sure he actually takes it?

 

[nibbysaurus]

Other than setting up a camera to record him taking it? Or getting up early to supervise, not really.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Here's an interesting turn of events.
Backstory: hubby works out of town during the week and comes home on Thursday night. Stepson has a 9:00 curfew when I'm responsible for him during the week. On the weekends, his dad pretty much lets him come and go as he pleases, usually not knowing where he ends up at any given time. Last night before I went to bed, I asked where the kid was (about 11). He said he was at the skate park at seven but I don't know where hes at now - I'll text him.
Ok, so I go to bed and find out this morning that he never could reach the kid (after numerous calls/texts). He comes in at five this morning, claiming to have fallen asleep on a friend's couch sometime before eleven. Here's the interesting part. It's after 2:00 pm here and he's STILL asleep.
Fell asleep before eleven my ASS! His dad hasn't even woken him up yet. Says he's going to ground him.
I'd be willing to make a bet that the kid is out of the house and gone within a couple of hours of getting up.
Missing meds, failing in school, staying out til five in the AM, hanging out with older young people who drink and do drugs... WTF are his parents thinking?? The mother won't even return my texts.
Sorry for the rant. I guess they just can't see that the kid is in a downward spiral that will end badly. They are to be blamed just as much as the kid for poor choices I think. Ugh. It's sad.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

It is sad.

 

[Pathfinder]

Hi Eve

It can feel like an impossible situation as a step parent more worried about a step child than the biological parents are. I feel for you.

There are a few things that pop into my mind here, and not knowing the details I decided to send a PM.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Hi Eve

It can feel like an impossible situation as a step parent more worried about a step child than the biological parents are.  I feel for you.

There are a few things that pop into my mind here, and not knowing the details I decided to send a PM.

Thanks, Pathfinder. I've replied. <3

 

[EveWasFramed]

Ugh. I'm at a complete loss right now.
Hubby got a bottle of champagne for New Years Eve. Said he'd bring me a glass.
I rarely drink and got rid of the bottle of bourbon I had because someone (one of the teens) was getting into it.
I went downstairs and there stands my husband and my 16 yo stepson and there are three glasses on the counter. I couldn't believe my eyes as he poured his son a glass of it. Then he poured him a second glass of it! Illegal drinking, providing alcohol to a minor and said minor takes ADD meds.
I give up.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Ugh. I'm at a complete loss right now.
Hubby got a bottle of champagne for New Years Eve. Said he'd bring me a glass.
I rarely drink and got rid of the bottle of bourbon I had because someone (one of the teens) was getting into it.
I went downstairs and there stands my husband and my 16 yo stepson and there are three glasses on the counter. I couldn't believe my eyes as he poured his son a glass of it. Then he poured him a second glass of it! Illegal drinking, providing alcohol to a minor and said minor takes ADD meds.
I give up.

One glass I could see because it is new year's, but he doesn't need more than that. 
As for the illegal part, it's not.  A parent can give a minor alcohol, as long as it's not excessive...Unless, of course, the law is different there.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Ugh. I'm at a complete loss right now.
Hubby got a bottle of champagne for New Years Eve. Said he'd bring me a glass.
I rarely drink and got rid of the bottle of bourbon I had because someone (one of the teens) was getting into it.
I went downstairs and there stands my husband and my 16 yo stepson and there are three glasses on the counter. I couldn't believe my eyes as he poured his son a glass of it. Then he poured him a second glass of it! Illegal drinking, providing alcohol to a minor and said minor takes ADD meds.
I give up.

One glass I could see because it is new year's, but he doesn't need more than that. 
As for the illegal part, it's not.  A parent can give a minor alcohol, as long as it's not excessive...Unless, of course, the law is different there.

No, the law is the same (I had to look it up and was surprised). 
However, I'm sure his mother would remove him from his father if she found out about it. He took a huge risk - she's the custodial parent. And given his recent issues, I'm still surprised he'd allow him to drink.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Sounds like this "father" needs a quick kick in the ass. He seems to act more like his son's friend than his father. I don't think it's a good idea to be giving someone who is on that kind of medication alcohol. He needs to start being a parent and that means not being your child's friend all the time and laying down some rules and consequences for breaking those rules. At the most the kid should of had a half a glass of wine to ring in the New Year if his dad wanted to do so. This kid doesn't behave himself enough to be given leniency.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Sounds like this "father" needs a quick kick in the ass.  He seems to act more like his son's friend than his father.  I don't think it's a good idea to be giving someone who is on that kind of medication alcohol.  He needs to start being a parent and that means not being your child's friend all the time and laying down some rules and consequences for breaking those rules.  At the most the kid should of had a half a glass of wine to ring in the New Year if his dad wanted to do so.  This kid doesn't behave himself enough to be given leniency.

I have to agree - he doesn't want to alienate his son but can't find a balance between parent and friend.
Something else interesting...
Both boys 16 and 18) were down stairs while I was doing dishes. The young one brought up the champagne from last night. The older one launched into what kind of liquor he drinks, how much he drinks and where he drinks. When the younger one pointed out that I was standing right in front of them, the older one said, "What is she going to do - call the cops on me? I didn't say a word.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Well...yeah you could seeing as he's only 18. He's legally an adult so being out intoxicated somewhere while under legal drinking age he'll be responsible for himself and charged as an adult and won't be protected as a minor. The younger one actually seems "smarter" than his older brother.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Well...yeah you could seeing as he's only 18.  He's legally an adult so being out intoxicated somewhere while under legal drinking age he'll be responsible for himself and charged as an adult and won't be protected as a minor.  The younger one actually seems "smarter" than his older brother.

Oh boy what a can of worms that would open. He doesn't drink here, other than the occasional beer when his dad OK's it. So I'd have no way of knowing when or where he's drinking. 
I reached out to their mother and told her I wasn't sure if leaving them here alone while I'm at work this week is a good idea (the older one lives with her but I'm pretty sure she's told him to stay over here this week because she has plans for the evenings). She wanted specifics but I would only tell her that it wasn't something I could talk about via text. Her response was "gotcha."
I didn't hear anything back from her, but she contacted my husband and said she wanted to see the boys sometime next week but she'd have to get back with him because she had so much going on. 
I just can't think of too many things that would warrant her not taking my warning seriously. 
Guess she doesn't give a crap either.

 

[Okiedokes]

That's a scary situation with the medication being missing and potentially being sold around. I hope he realizes how much trouble he can get in for that if caught. That's not fair for you or his other parents because if you guys are responsible for giving him his meds, that could cause trouble for you guys too. I agree with the others that said the med could be given once a day and the bottle not in his possession if possible. I hope things get better with the situation. My son takes Ritalin and I would be freaking out if pills were missing.

 

[EveWasFramed]

That's a scary situation with the medication being missing and potentially being sold around. I hope he realizes how much trouble he can get in for that if caught. That's not fair for you or his other parents because if you guys are responsible for giving him his meds, that could cause trouble for you guys too. I agree with the others that said the med could be given once a day and the bottle not in his possession if possible. I hope things get better with the situation. My son takes Ritalin and I would be freaking out if pills were missing.

I agree with you about the missing pills. If my daughter was in this situation, I'd be handling it a lot different than my stepson's parents are. I don't feel right picking up his meds if he's not going to use them as prescribed.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

Seems like two different equally important issues are developing in the household.

I had to respect and obey my stepmother.

My dad constantly reminded me that she was his wife and acted as a parent to me while I was in the home.

He beat my ass more than once for disrespecting her.