Online chats

[Silvernight]

Online chats (like Skype, MSN messenger): do you like it? do you hate it? I must confess that I'm not much of a fan of exceedingly lengthy online chatting. This has been a problem before and I now regret that I had not stated it at the beginning of some online relationships. How do you tell to a person that you are tired of talking to them without sounding insulting? Because it has been my experience that some people have no sense of measure (can go on chatting for hours on end and increasingly often as the time goes) and if you try telling them that you want to finish the conversation in a subtle manner, they don't take a hint. You have to constantly come up with excuses, this is irritating. E.g. you say, ok, I want to go have a snack or I need to walk my dog and they are like 'oh so you're going to come back in a sec right??'. Me (mentally): oh DAMN. I can enjoy (not daily) chats for up to half-ah-hour but some people have not even 'warmed up' by that time and could sit all day if you let them. For me, personally, sitting for so much time hunched over the laptop is annoying and frustrating. Don't get me wrong, I normally enjoy communication in person but online is not the same.

Your thoughts?

 

[Gem]

I love msn,i find it a great way to get out all my extra thoughts running through my head,gets boring talking to myself after a short while lol Im probably one of those people who you would get annoyed by,talking for hours lol just personally though if i find someone interesting and easy to speak to,i could go on for as long as they want .But sometimes you can tell their getting abit bored and i think thats when you should take the hint and be quiet lol.I suppose its just up to everyone individually,i can enjoy lengthy talks both in person and online for up to half a day lol but i do have times where actually i cant be bothered to say more than 2 words,yet somehow i still manage to lol

 

[Minus]

Couldn't you just answer 'oh so you're going to come back in a sec right??' with a "No, i can't"?

Maybe not, i wouldn't know because i don't use chats. I don't use them for some of the reasons you mentioned. Hard for me to bring to a conclusion, difficulty in sitting in one spot that long, and if i even take the time to get a glass of water or answer the phone, it is commented on.

 

[Jeremi]

Yeah, I know exactly how you feel Silvernight. Everytime I use MSN I always get locked up in neverending conversations. Not that I have anything agaist that, beucase it's fun to talk to people, and it feels much more interesting than just PMing to eachother, but it just sucks away so much time, and I can never bring myself to end it. That's why I load up my MSN very rarely, because I don't have time for it. It's too bad, because I really feel like I'm missing out on a lot. MSN or other chat programs seem to be a big part of internet friendships

 

[Ekstra]

Well you at some point run out of things to talk about, which always keeps the conversations short and meaningful from that point on. Personally i love getting sucked into a long satisfying conversation, maybe because you just don't have intimate discussions like that in real life. I guess its better when you log on frequently, of course there are times when you're overwhelmed with people talking to you, but everyones in the same boat, they have people messaging them too. I like it, then again, its all i have. I even get depressed if nobody talks to me on my messengers And once you've made a personal connection, I think everyone has lots of interesting experiences to share.

Gem is right in that it works out some way, if you're slow between responses people get bored and look elsewhere. You can also make your conversations slow and drawn out so that you're going at your own pace. And if you don't want to talk to someone, its easy enough just to slow down and make them realize they're boring you.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I log into Yahoo chat about once a month. I just pick some random room, and then chat with whoever is there. I don't take private messages, so when I'm done chatting, or I'm not being amused any longer, I just change rooms, log off, or whatever. That way, I have a few laughs and don't have to worry about anyone talking my ear off when I'm not in the mood or they're boring me.

Chat = cheap, mindless entertainment.

 

[Porman]

I know the feeling. Tho doesnt really apply to me anymore, i just say "well i gtg" or "im off, cya later" lol
Maybe because i dont really talk to anyone that personally cares about me that much to become clingy

 

[Bluey]

I really do have a lot of brilliant on line contacts. Just that I am finding just lately that i do not have the time to talk to them. its like as soon as I log in am in 3 - 4 different convos all at the same time. They are all amazing contacts but it dose not leave time for anything else. if I have to go or am wanting to go and do other things I just say bye for now see you later. They do understand that I have other things am doing. If anyone don't understand and takes it personal then, well there is not a lot I can do about that. All I could do is explain that am busy and if they don't understand then well, as I say that's life and you can't keep everyone happy all of the time.

 

[zem]

It's way easier to chat with people online...none of your social anxiety shows through, and If you get bored of the person, you can make a stupid excuse

 

[capricious]

I used to have a whole list of contacts on my msn and have loads of people messenging me. I would even spend a whole day chatting to someone, that's how addictive it was. People are always like "aww, don't go." XD
Then I kinda stopped. And changed my email address about 5 times. I don't go on it anymore, I feel kinda uncomfortable using it (I don't know why...)... Although my friends keep saying come online.. I stick to e-mails, it feels a lot better and if I don't want to talk to them, I just won't reply. (mighy seem rude)

 

[Silvernight]

It's way easier to chat with people online...none of your social anxiety shows through, and If you get bored of the person, you can make a stupid excuse

Yeah it is easier, I'm certainly far more eloquent in writing than verbally. Still, never liked chatting online a lot. Well, it might be fun the first two or three times but it quickly loses its appeal to me, I prefer person-to-person communication, even though it's way tougher.

I used to have a whole list of contacts on my msn and have loads of people messenging me. I would even spend a whole day chatting to someone, that's how addictive it was. People are always like "aww, don't go." XD
Then I kinda stopped. And changed my email address about 5 times. I don't go on it anymore, I feel kinda uncomfortable using it (I don't know why...)... Although my friends keep saying come online.. I stick to e-mails, it feels a lot better and if I don't want to talk to them, I just won't reply. (mighy seem rude)

I could never spend a whole day chatting, both physically and emotionally, it's very draining for me, no matter how interesting a person might be.

I also prefer emails and frequently employed the "outright ignore" method concerning chats I just can't bring myself to do it when I'm not prepared for it and not in the mood. My online friend, a very interesting person with whom we chatted regularly and exchanged lengthy emails, recently got so pissed off at me for not replying once, he never wrote back. I was just really tired at the time, just got home and was bombarded with phone calls (concerning work) at once. And he called through skype right at the same time and I did not reply. Sigh. It's a pity, really. Suppose it's partly my fault, I guess I should have answered but I really had to do work and was tired and all. I replied later in writing but he was already pissed off big time and the ensuing conversation quickly started resembling Shakespeare drama (he did the dramatic part). But that's so childish. If I started counting all those times when I messaged my other friend and she failed to answer immediately.. gee we'd have been enemies already if I took it personally