Online Dating?

[pad79]

Yay! One month today on tinder and not a single hit. WTF?

Don't bother with that vile sespit of an app. I've had sinc good matched. Offers to date and made some long term lady friends.

Then. I had even some superlikes which i was surprised by.... Who then unmatched me lol. If that doesn't tell you how fcked up people are on there. I dont know what will.

And every time after using it for a few weeks. I will never ever get another match ever again unless i delete my account and start again. Stay away from it period. The app has more bugs in it than starship troopers!!

 

[Madbadteacher]

Well seeing as I never seem to meet new people socially I guess I’m screwed

 

[Ug2018]

I personally know of at least five success stories from online dating.  So it can work.  I think people go into online dating thinking it will be easier than doing it the old fashioned way.  It's not, it's really no different.  The only thing it does is give you a little more access to people who are single.  You still have to go through the effort of finding someone that you mesh well with and is willing to give you a chance.

As for me, I prefer doing it the old fashioned way.  Although, I have no desire to date, so I don't really look.  I have been asked out (both online and off) but everyone gets turned down.  Not because of who they are or what they look like, but because I do not want to date...at all.

I totally agree with you on this one.

 

[pad79]

Well seeing as I never seem to meet new people socially I guess I’m screwed

You're not screwed. Just find another app or dating site that is actually programmed by someone who knows how to actually make one work.

I seriously wouldn't be disheartened by that tinder bug filled crap. It would not surprise in the slightest if you actually already have a handful of matches. But dont actually know about them and the App hasn't told you.

 

[ardour]

I personally know of at least five success stories from online dating.  So it can work.  I think people go into online dating thinking it will be easier than doing it the old fashioned way.  It's not, it's really no different.  The only thing it does is give you a little more access to people who are single.  You still have to go through the effort of finding someone that you mesh well with and is willing to give you a chance.

As for me, I prefer doing it the old fashioned way.  Although, I have no desire to date, so I don't really look.  I have been asked out (both online and off) but everyone gets turned down.  Not because of who they are or what they look like, but because I do not want to date...at all.

I totally agree with you on this one.

"I personally know five girlfriends who  took their pick from dozens of men messaging them. See - it can work!"

 

[VanillaCreme]

"I personally know five girlfriends who  took their pick from dozens of men messaging them. See - it can work!"

The point was probably that it happened. Damn, man. No wonder.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I personally know of at least five success stories from online dating.  So it can work.  I think people go into online dating thinking it will be easier than doing it the old fashioned way.  It's not, it's really no different.  The only thing it does is give you a little more access to people who are single.  You still have to go through the effort of finding someone that you mesh well with and is willing to give you a chance.

As for me, I prefer doing it the old fashioned way.  Although, I have no desire to date, so I don't really look.  I have been asked out (both online and off) but everyone gets turned down.  Not because of who they are or what they look like, but because I do not want to date...at all.

I totally agree with you on this one.

"I personally know five girlfriends who  took their pick from dozens of men messaging them. See - it can work!"

Where did I say they were all women?

 

[Limlim]

I had a message here but the quote feature didn't work for some reason. It was pretty good though!

 

[user 139760]

I still receive Zoosk messages. Funny considering I havent been on it for 10 years. I don't imagine, as moneymaking scams go, that Tinder is that much different, else it wouldnt exist.

 

[ThisModernLove]

I’ve only used tinder once, and I eventually dated a wonderful woman for a year. Unfortunately we ended the relationship (life happens) but I regret nothing about it. Experience will vary between people, so I understand if people have negative opinions about online dating.

 

[ladyforsaken]

My best friend is still trying to get me on dating apps cos she found the guy she is currently seeing on one. I guess if you're patient and you keep trying (she's tried for awhile), you may actually find a compatible one.

I'm not sure what it is or if anyone gets me, I just don't go looking for dates or romance. I kinda prefer things happening naturally? I'd rather make friends or interactions first unless I'm lucky enough to meet someone and have that "love/chemistry at first sight" feeling lol. But my bestie always debates me on this... she says I have to make the effort. *shrugs*

I’ve only used tinder once, and I eventually dated a wonderful woman for a year.  Unfortunately we ended the relationship (life happens) but I regret nothing about it.  Experience will vary between people, so I understand if people have negative opinions about online dating.

Do you still use Tinder now?

 

[ThisModernLove]

My best friend is still trying to get me on dating apps cos she found the guy she is currently seeing on one. I guess if you're patient and you keep trying (she's tried for awhile), you may actually find a compatible one.

I'm not sure what it is or if anyone gets me, I just don't go looking for dates or romance. I kinda prefer things happening naturally? I'd rather make friends or interactions first unless I'm lucky enough to meet someone and have that "love/chemistry at first sight" feeling lol. But my bestie always debates me on this... she says I have to make the effort. *shrugs*

I’ve only used tinder once, and I eventually dated a wonderful woman for a year.  Unfortunately we ended the relationship (life happens) but I regret nothing about it.  Experience will vary between people, so I understand if people have negative opinions about online dating.

Do you still use Tinder now?

Not at the moment.  I do prefer things to happen naturally from random encounters.  I’m not opposed to it and I may use it again in the future.  I guess that would highly depend on several things.  *shrug*

 

[Xpendable]

Where can I buy this 'random encounters'?

 

[ThisModernLove]

Where can I buy this 'random encounters'?

You don’t.  They just happen.  At Starbucks, at the market, on the train.  Anywhere.  

 

[Xpendable]

Not to me.

 

[sometimesthewolf]

I've tried OkCupid off and on, with no luck. The only person I've ever met off of there was a transguy, who was even more shy and awkward than I was. There were a few girls off of there I really liked from viewing their profile, so I typically take the leap to initiating conversation. One or two responses and it ends.

I had one girl message me passionately, and as soon as I sent her an old picture of me that she didn't like, she rejected me and acted as though I was the one who had propositioned her. Turns out she was a liar, trying to use me as her first lesbian experience when in reality she wasn't openly "out" and had been presenting herself as a straight woman getting propositioned by men.

 

[Dead_Man_Walking]

Not to me.

probably did, but people are to stiff to do something about it

---

I've tried OkCupid off and on, with no luck. The only person I've ever met off of there was a transguy, who was even more shy and awkward than I was. There were a few girls off of there I really liked from viewing their profile, so I typically take the leap to initiating conversation. One or two responses and it ends.

I had one girl message me passionately, and as soon as I sent her an old picture of me that she didn't like, she rejected me and acted as though I was the one who had propositioned her. Turns out she was a liar, trying to use me as her first lesbian experience when in reality she wasn't openly "out" and had been presenting herself as a straight woman getting propositioned by men.

tried OkCupid and Tinder for short period of time. Nothing really happened beside some messeges and answering a few girls about my financial status. When they discovered I don't have apartmans by the sea or private jet they become uninterested...XD...about other girl it seems they were boring to me as I was boring to them. So no luck there. Have two friends who also tried tinder but without anything happening. Also this dating sites/apps are not in favour of man, because 70%-80% are man...

 

[Red_Wedding_Casualty]

I've completely lost my interest in the online dating scene. Nevermind that I wasn't getting any real hits on anything. But there was a video I watched that mentioned online dating as a sub-topic that forced me to truly see the futility of it.

In bar/club environments, you might encounter someone you might not be initially attracted to, but there's an off chance in conversation, you might really hit it off with that person, and decide that he/she is great company. But in the world of online dating-especially app based sites, all you have are faces to swipe. So our judgement is almost exclusively based on appearance. Since we're behind a screen, who's going to call us out on being shallow?

This was even more apparent when I tried Bumble. Sure, the idea of making the female message first is to give them more agency in who they talk to, and relieve guys of anxiety. Thing is, the few times I ever matched, it was always with women whom I didn't find appealing at all. Most often in appearance. Their written profiles didn't help their case either. If this opinion makes me shallow, then so be it. End of the day, I was playing the game just like everyone else. Difference was that I wasn't any good at it.

I've since deleted both Tinder and Bumble, and have no motivation to take it back up again. Thing is, I've never been good at bars and clubs. I've gone about the past several years with conflicting influences, and came to the conclusion that the best way to do them is to save face, and avoid females I don't know altogether. I'm there to enjoy the company of friends, and that hookup stuff is none of my business. But now I'm at a point where my social groups have either stopped going out, or they're no longer inviting me.

I know how the rest of this plays out for me. And I know I'm well past the point of no return now. I'm at the point where I barely have the motivation to talk about this anymore.

 

[ardour]

The very appearance of having to 'look' is stigmatized to the point where you're likely to be considered a creep or a loser no matter what. Then there's all the real creeps we have to accept collective blame for. You must differentiate yourself from them, while still being articulate, funny, and knowing when to push things, flirt and skirt the boundaries of what's socially acceptable behaviour without being seen as creepy or too predictable. Being "unphotogenic" might be not be such as curse, I guess, since I haven't had the opportunity to go through that grinder of validation seeking and disappointment.

Also I'm not sure if profile data is indexed by google or various other third parties but I'd be really worried about someone I knew coming across it.

 

[Red_Wedding_Casualty]

The very appearance of having to 'look' is stigmatized to the point where you're likely to be considered a creep or a loser no matter what. Then there's all the real creeps we have to accept collective blame for. You must differentiate yourself from them, while still being articulate, funny, and knowing when to push things, flirt and skirt the boundaries of what's socially acceptable behaviour without being seen as creepy or too predictable. Being "unphotogenic" might be not be such as curse, I guess, since I haven't had the opportunity to go through that grinder of validation seeking and disappointment.

Also I'm not sure if profile data is indexed by google or various other third parties but I'd be really worried about someone I knew coming across it.

It's a razor thin, and blurry line one must walk. And like you said: We have to do this while footing the social bill for the actual creeps that do the wrong thing. Is it really any wonder that more and more of us are checking out of the system then?

You mentioned profile data though. I'm not sure where in the world you are, but Adelaide, South Australia is a very...... 'local' scene for such a thriving metropolis. It's entirely possible to encounter the same profile on multiple dating apps on here. And I'm sure enough people have seen my attempt at a profile for me to be placed on an unofficial blacklist.