Online Dating?

[TheRealCallie]

I think y'all are nuts.

In the meantime, I'm starving. Bring me some tacos.

OH OH OH, can I be a COCOnut? :O

Get your own damn tacos :club:

 

[VanillaCreme]

I think it's more a lack of empathy and "choosing" to not understand =p You forgot that reason.

I don't lack empathy. I just don't pat people on the back for constantly having a pity party for themselves. Sorry, but I choose to not constantly be miserable over things I couldn't control.

 

[Xpendable]

The power of the things you can't control is greater than how you react to them.

 

[TheRealCallie]

So are the excuses, apparently.

 

[Xpendable]

get hit by a car and can't walk again, being positive is the same as using your legs like before.

 

[TheRealCallie]

get hit by a car and can't walk again, being positive is the same as using your legs like before.

I know someone who was blown up in war.  He lost a leg.  It hasn't stopped him from doing anything he wants to do.  And now he helps others who are hurt in the armed forces.  Yes his entire life changed, but he made and is still making the most of it. 
IT IS A CHOICE.

 

[M_also_lonely]

Waste of time and energy.

 

[kaetic]

The power of the things you can't control is greater than how you react to them.

I don't know your life. It probably does feel this way to you. But this statement kind of makes me worried for you. Not about dating... Bc who knows anything for sure about that? But if you feel like your efforts are all wasted, like hitting up against a brick wall... Then you probably don't just feel that way about dating. I hope you have someone irl you can talk to about this.

 

[M_also_lonely]

The power of the things you can't control is greater than how you react to them.

Completely agree.

 

[DarkSelene]

There's definitely something to be said about using anything as a crutch. That still doesn't invalidate the feeling or the root of the issue, it just portrays a difference in the reaction to it.

Things here are incredibly one dimensional so I don't think anyone's efforts will be worth anything... But I'd still advocate for some level of understanding. Having an emotional reaction to something forced upon you is quite human afterall, I doubt anyone can choose when to feel.

Is trying to portray yourself as something you want to be (but that you're not) better than being yourself? Because it seems like a lot of the advice I'm reading touches that not-so-fine line.

 

[Xpendable]

The power of the things you can't control is greater than how you react to them.

I don't know your life. It probably does feel this way to you. But this statement kind of makes me worried for you. Not about dating... Bc who knows anything for sure about that? But if you feel like your efforts are all wasted, like hitting up against a brick wall... Then you probably don't just feel that way about dating. I hope you have someone irl you can talk to about this.

You're  not supposed to put "but" after a period.

---

get hit by a car and can't walk again, being positive is the same as using your legs like before.

I know someone who was blown up in war.  He lost a leg.  It hasn't stopped him from doing anything he wants to do.  And now he helps others who are hurt in the armed forces.  Yes, his entire life changed, but he made and is still making the most of it. 
IT IS A CHOICE.

But can he choose to do this?

 

[TheRealCallie]

And people say I  have no tact.  Wow, that's ****** up.

Also, if you're going to call people out for grammar, you might want to make sure your grammar isn't ****** up first.

 

[Xpendable]

I recently got Grammarly. I totally recommend it.

 

[VanillaCreme]

You're  not supposed to put "but" after a period.

Yes, you can. And you can put "and" after a period for the beginning of the next sentence. It's perfectly fine to use conjunctions to start a sentence.

 

[kaetic]

The power of the things you can't control is greater than how you react to them.

I don't know your life. It probably does feel this way to you. But this statement kind of makes me worried for you. Not about dating... Bc who knows anything for sure about that? But if you feel like your efforts are all wasted, like hitting up against a brick wall... Then you probably don't just feel that way about dating. I hope you have someone irl you can talk to about this.

You're  not supposed to put "but" after a period.

---

get hit by a car and can't walk again, being positive is the same as using your legs like before.

I know someone who was blown up in war.  He lost a leg.  It hasn't stopped him from doing anything he wants to do.  And now he helps others who are hurt in the armed forces.  Yes, his entire life changed, but he made and is still making the most of it. 
IT IS A CHOICE.

But can he choose to do this?

---

How about after a question mark? But. But. But. I think I get why you're single. I tried to look past the arguing for the sake of arguing to see your side. BUT your side is just that you enjoy being miserable and screw anyone that tries to help. Best of luck with your trolling.

 

[Xpendable]

'How about after a question mark? But. But. But. I think I get why you're single. I tried to look past the arguing for the sake of arguing to see your side. BUT your side is just that you enjoy being miserable and screw anyone that tries to help. Best of luck with your trolling."

Hey, i had a bad day. The world is a terrible place and you will always be wrong about me until the universe gets cold.

 

[Red_Wedding_Casualty]

Who said it can be switched off that easily?  WHY do you (generalized you) always jump to "oh they said that, they think it's easy, they're ******* morons"?  NO ONE said it was easy.  NO ONE said anything was easy.  It's not.  But it is a choice.  You can always choose how you let your emotions take hold of you.  You don't have to be bitter, you could remain at least a little bit positive or if that's too far for you, just not negative. 
It's on YOU how your life turns out.  It's on YOU if you let bad **** stop you or hold you down/back.  Sure, wallow it in for a while, if you feel you must, but let it the **** go and move on from it.  Stop letting life hold you back just because you didn't get what you wanted.  You will NEVER get what you want if you let yourself become and stay bitter and negative.  I don't care who wants to dispute this or call me ignorant or even a dumbfuck, people CAN see that ****, it turns people off. 
So yes, it is a choice, everything is a choice.  Not all choices are good, not all choices want to be made, not all choices are going to make your life better. 
If you are mugged, it's your choice to be scared and paranoid or not.  You could take self defense classes and learn how to protect yourself, you can go to therapy or whatever to get over the paranoia or fear. 
If you are rejected (even if it's a million times), it's your CHOICE to let that make you bitter.  You could simply accept that maybe you're asking the wrong people out or maybe your standards are too high or maybe your coming off in a way you don't mean to. You could regroup, find out what you're doing wrong and keep trying.

Almost everything in life is a choice, even if it doesn't seem like a choice at all.

A whole paragraph when you could have just said, 'harden the **** up'. (now, watch me become a hypocrite and type my own paragraph)

As to why myself, or someone else might assume that you think it's easy, is because you talk down to people from this place of emotional superiority. And, I see it all the time on here. Often, a dude will air out his soul on this forum. Sometimes, it's from a nasty break up. Sometimes, a rejection. Sometimes, the fear of rejection. They post here, hoping for a sympathetic ear from someone who's been in their shoes. Or still in their shoes. Instead, they find you, with your one size fits all message of 'harden the **** up'. At best, it comes across as a lack of patience and care for their situation. And at worst, actively antagonizing the poor *******s for choosing to be weak and seeking a pity party. I'm not sure if you consider your approach to be tough love, or if you've just got no patience for male tears, or maybe you're actually getting a kick out of this somehow. But maybe you can see how the 'harden the **** up' approach may not be the most helpful for one's self esteem when they're feeling alittle vulnerable. 

Maybe one day, I'll also learn to force my state of mind to shift through sheer willpower alone. Maybe then I'll understand why you respond to us the way you do. Until then, my present state of mind is very much subject to past experiences and observations. Much like many of us here. 

Peace.

 

[TheRealCallie]

or if you've just got no patience for male tears

I know what it's like to be a slave to your emotions, so maybe you should stop assuming. Maybe I haven't lived a life of rejection and only rejection, but I have been rejected. Hell, my husband left me on Christmas night, so yeah, I know rejection pretty damn well. I know feeling like your nothing pretty damn well.

Lol, yeah, it's cute how you think I'm sexist and only do it to men. I don't discriminate. I've told JUST AS MANY women to suck it the **** up too.

In the end, it's on YOU whether you take my advice/opinion, I'm merely providing my take on it.

 

[ardour]

Yup, it's the way you've dealt with things, so it has to be shouted at everyone else.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yup, it's the way you've dealt with things, so it has to be shouted at everyone else.

Yes, the same as you shout YOUR opinion and experience at everyone else....That's typically how advice works.