Our Own Worst Enemy

[okidoke]

do you believe in this @okidoke?

In what, the OP? I’m not sure what you’re asking.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

In what, the OP? I’m not sure what you’re asking.

Do you believe in the post that you posted from the guy on YouTube?

 

[okidoke]

Do you believe in the post that you posted from the guy on YouTube?

You’ve lost me sorry. Which one?

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

You’ve lost me sorry. Which one?

Your original post. Do you agree with what you posted?

 

[okidoke]

Your original post. Do you agree with what you posted?

What are you getting at? I wrote the OP. Why would I say all that if I didn’t believe what I wrote? And what guy on YouTube are you referring to?

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

What are you getting at? I wrote the OP. Why would I say all that if I didn’t believe what I wrote? And what guy on YouTube are you referring to?

Nm. You're lost.

 

[okidoke]

Nm. You're lost.

Yes indeed. It sounds like you’re insinuating something but I’m not sure what. I read the OP again and am not sure why you’re asking.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

What I'm about to say applies to me as much as it does for anyone else on this site. It was a little hard for me to write as I had to face my own demons and I'm sure there's plenty I could've added or outlined better.

We each have our situations to endure, issues to cope with and challenges to overcome. Often we feel hopeless, useless, despondent and even in utter despair where it feels like we can only take the final alternative. We can't see a way out. We think that other people don't understand OUR complex situation, because, you know, they're not living OUR life.

"Yes, yes, you have it difficult too and blah blah blah, but MY situation is just so, so, ARRRRGH, you just don't get it."

Or so it may feel to us. But the truth is, (barring of course serious mental illness where we can't even function effectively enough to even communication coherently with a fellow human being, and I assume those who are writing up their situations on here have at least that much cognitive function and so can appreciate what I'm saying) often we are causing our own problems. We are making things difficult for ourselves. Sure we have all this STUFF that makes our lives so horrid, but if we take an honest close look at ourselves, at what we're doing or not doing, we'll start to realise that we're doing so much to our own selves that we're going to be stuck in our situation until we either change our current habits or take that final alternative, which you really shouldn't take because you have a right to your life. Nothing should force you to take that option.

"So what am I doing to myself? How am I to blame? Why is it my fault? Tell me what to DO!"

We ask people for advice, help, ideas, thoughts, perspectives, and people often provide, but we read, hear, understand what they provide, and then, then nothing. We don't do anything different. We continue to wallow in our self pity, we continue to do what we've been doing for so long, we dismiss and argue and mock and be condescending to all those that have provided an answer to what we sought. And why do we do that? We're lazy. We're in a comfort zone. We're too angry. We're too weak. We're too cynical. We're too obnoxious. We're too proud. We're too scared. And a whole bunch of other things that we could put forth.

But nobody else can do it for you. Nobody can grant you that wish that will make it all better. Nobody can provide you friends or a partner or the job or house you want. Only you can make that change in yourself. There are enough tools already available on the internet and IRL for you to learn skills in communication, or assertiveness, or confidence, or whatever, but you have to be willing to take the chance to try. Get moving. Get out there. Interact with other people in various social circles. Make connections. If you have no friends, well you can't make less friends, so there's only gains to be make if you put in the effort. Start small and grow. Give yourself the chance to try. It doesn't matter how many times you try. You just have to try more.

"It's not worth the effort."

Yes it is. You know it is because of the situation you don't want to be in right now. Make your life meaningful. Give yourself a chance. Maybe you'll make someone else's life meaningful in the meantime. As I said at the start; this applies to me as it does for anyone else. I needed to hear myself say it. I can lay plenty of blame on others for my situation, but in the end, I have to be the one that is responsible for the rest of my life.

Take responsibility. Take chances.

Oh btw, @Bam111 has some very interesting links to videos here, some of which relate to how we think and use our brains.

Do you believe your own post from this guy, who also has a You Tube channel? You can always post information even if you disagree. I'm asking if you agree with what you posted?!

 

[okidoke]

Do you believe your own post from this guy, who also has a You Tube channel? You can always post information even if you disagree. I'm asking if you agree with what you posted?!

“This guy”? That guy is me. I’ve already told you I wrote that OP.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

“This guy”? That guy is me. I’ve already told you I wrote that OP.

That's not what I'm asking, just forget it, you're totally, totally lost, and I'm done explaining. No point. Just moving on.

 

[okidoke]

That's not what I'm asking, just forget it, you're totally, totally lost, and I'm done explaining. No point. Just moving on.

I think YOU’RE lost.

I wrote the OP. I believe in what I wrote. I don’t see what you’re getting at. You’re being too vague if you’re trying to tell me something.

Why don’t you complete the sentence you asked with “because…….” so I can understand what you’re really asking.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

I think YOU’RE lost.

I wrote the OP. I believe in what I wrote. I don’t see what you’re getting at. You’re being too vague if you’re trying to tell me something.

Why don’t you complete the sentence you asked with “because…….” so I can understand what you’re really asking.

Not lost at all. I'm done trying to explain myself to you, I've tried several times and you're just not understanding. Okay, you agree, that's all I wanted to know. Ty.

 

[okidoke]

……..I'm done trying to explain myself to you,……

But you didn’t explain yourself at all. You just kept asking me the same question, whether I believed in the post I posted and I kept saying yes. You didn’t say why you were asking. Maybe you’re too tired. I’m too awake now!

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

But you didn’t explain yourself at all. You just kept asking me the same question, whether I believed in the post I posted and I kept saying yes. You didn’t say why you were asking. Maybe you’re too tired. I’m too awake now!

No, not tired yet, I'll be going to sleep at some point. All I simply asked was if you agreed with what was posted, is all. I did tell you why. This is what I said "you can always post information even if you disagree". Meaning, you can post a post even if you don't agree on it, for others may.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

I'm going to have to disagree with you a bad situation is a bad situation regardless of if it's worse or not than someone else's situation. Thinking And Feeling Help At Times But For Some People At Sometimes It Really Is Hopeless And There Is Just Nothing To Do Now I Know Most People Hate To Hear That But That's Life Sometimes.

No, that's just your negative thought process. You can change your thought process, feelings, emotions, perspectives, etc. You just choose not to. That's why you only see the world in black & white vision.

 

[okidoke]

No, not tired yet, I'll be going to sleep at some point. All I simply asked was if you agreed with what was posted, is all. I did tell you why. This is what I said "you can always post information even if you disagree". Meaning, you can post a post even if you don't agree on it, for others may.

lol okay, but don’t I say in the very opening that it applies to me as much as anyone else? I believe what I wrote, but also struggle with adhering to it.

You also mentioned a guy in YouTube. Not sure what you’re referring to there though.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

Totally agree that in my ADULT LIFE I have been my own worst enemy. I allowed having a very bad childhood to completely rule my adult life. Having no mentors certainly played into it. Perhaps if I had grown up in the internet era some old guy like me would have given teenage me some good advice and the wisdom of his years.

Too old to change now though. Settling down with some divorced middle aged woman with kids is not an option. I'll just try to keep working out and control the drinking, as that is the source of most of my problems and bouts with depression.

You can change at any point. Don't let others negative views effect yours.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

lol okay, but don’t I say in the very opening that it applies to me as much as anyone else? I believe what I wrote, but also struggle with adhering to it.

You also mentioned a guy in YouTube. Not sure what you’re referring to there though.

The guy Bam whatever his name is, has YT videos from your link, that's where I got it from. Yes, I did see that some applies to you. But, I was wondering how much of it does. But, wherever you got this information, if you wrote it or someone else did, it's very accurate and good information.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

I don't know if I'd call myself "my own worst enemy," but I AM indeed the source of all of my unhappiness and sense of failure. It's just who I am. I cannot comprehend interpersonal relationships and communicate with people about things that are of any interest to them. I mean, on top of having relatability issues, I'm also not imaginative or talented in areas that do interest me greatly. I'm not even mediocre. I had such hopes for myself, but they're all gone. I'm 61 years old, I have no legacy whatsoever, and I cannot conceptualize ever gaining anything meaningful in my life. I don't want to be a failure, but it's unavoidable. I simply do not have the means to pull myself out of the abyss.

And that's simply your choice.

 

[okidoke]

The guy Bam whatever his name is, has YT videos from your link, that's where I got it from. Yes, I did see that some applies to you. But, I was wondering how much of it does. But, wherever you got this information, if you wrote it or someone else did, it's very accurate and good information.

Well it all applies to me at different levels at different times in my life. The post is two years old and at times since then some applied more than at other times. I’m nowhere near perfect yet.

As for Bam’s videos, that was just a link to some which some people might find interesting and helpful.

Up to that point where I mentioned Bam, that all came from within my own thoughts.