Oversupply of men = good ?

[EveWasFramed]

Also, there are those that choose to discuss it in the chat room, as opposed to the forum

Yup - that's a very good point actually.

Im like Peaches though...I wanna know where that oversupply of men are hiding.

 

[ardour]

Not following your logic, and going to just stop and say: How does men not keeping the children after divorce remove them from the "supply"? Single dads date and remarry.

His logic:

Single parents are less likely to want to date because they have child rearing responsibilities.

Since there are more solo mothers than solo fathers, and since solo mothers form quite a significant portion of the family types now, that means there are fewer women 'in circulation', hence an oversupply of men.

 

[kamya]

where are all these men? In years I have met maybe… 5 single guys?

They are all on the internet wondering where all the good women are!

 

[Brightshadow]

His logic:

Single parents are less likely to want to date because they have child rearing responsibilities.

Since there are more solo mothers than solo fathers, and since solo mothers form quite a significant portion of the family types now, that means there are fewer women 'in circulation', hence an oversupply of men.

While this is one of the reasons, IMO it’s not even the most important one.

People (on average) need love and need to be loved.
Perhaps some people are so devoted to god, parents, friends, art, music, etc., that they can find happiness and inner peace while staying childless and without being ever in a relationship, but this not true for the most people.
IMHO, on average, staying childless [1] and not in a (good, loving) relationship (or never having such a relationship) [2] tends to leave the greatest gap in one’s heart.
My hypothesis is that [1] is even more important (again, on average!) than [2] due to the powerful instinct of procreation and the desire to pass a part of your heart, experience and knowledge to your child.
I think (yes, I have no numbers, it’s just my opinion and intuition), on average, a single mother and a single father doesn’t feel as lonely, as they* would feel if they were single AND childless.
(*Note, that I don’t compare an average single parent to an average childless single person! I compare only for the former group the inner peace, the feeling of one’s life being fulfilled and making sense at all to how THEY would likely to feel, if they stayed childless or their child would stay with the other partner upon divorce/separation etc.)

__
Also, I’ve been thinking more about men/women’s readiness to search for a partner, and I’m still convinced that natural/cultural differences, being less/more shy on average etc. can’t be the sole or even the main factor. If you are in great pain, you do whatever it takes to mend this pain. If you have a big wound, you want it to be bandaged by whoever has the ability. If the pain doesn’t stop and becomes just greater over time, you do ask for a medicine, even if it’s embarrassing. Btw. I feel uneasy too when posting an ad.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I will admit, that because I have a child, I'm probably not as lonely as some women my age. However, I had my child later in life (I was 37) so I'm not really the best example, as the majority of women my age have grown children. My daughter is just nine.

In response to the single parents not wanting to date....
Most probably do. I certainly do, but I seem unable to find anyone. On line dating was a disaster. I won't bother with the reasons why, as there are several threads about it already. I wouldn't have bothered with it but I have a VERY limited social circle.
I do know several single moms that don't want to date as well. Their reasons all seem to be different.

 

[SofiasMami]

People (on average) need love and need to be loved.
Perhaps some people are so devoted to god, parents, friends, art, music, etc., that they can find happiness and inner peace while staying childless and without being ever in a relationship, but this not true for the most people.
IMHO, on average, staying childless [1] and not in a (good, loving) relationship (or never having such a relationship) [2] tends to leave the greatest gap in one’s heart.
My hypothesis is that [1] is even more important (again, on average!) than [2] due to the powerful instinct of procreation and the desire to pass a part of your heart, experience and knowledge to your child.
I think (yes, I have no numbers, it’s just my opinion and intuition), on average, a single mother and a single father doesn’t feel as lonely, as they* would feel if they were single AND childless.

I think this is true in my case. If I didn't have my daughter, I would have adopted or become a foster parent. My kid is young and she will inevitably grow up and eventually move out. So then what? Maybe I will get another pet or adopt or become a foster parent at that time. If I have love to offer, why not do something tangible to offer it instead of going down the rabbit hole to "the dating world"?

-Teresa