People like us are held to higher standards

[Finished]

^ Sorry, but I have to correct you. Fishing should be updated to Marine Engineer.

or probably better termed Aquatic Wildlife Engineer. Ha! ha!

 

[Efbee]

^ Sorry, but I have to correct you. Fishing should be updated to marine engineer.

Ooops, yes I guess. I haven't completed my studies in the field so I will make those kinds of dorky mistakes. But I did go to Sea World and started studying Cetacea Engineering, I think it can complement my Marine Engineering knowledge into sea life. 
Went fishing off the coast of California ( during Triassic period way back when, lol ) we caught 5  tuna fish. Those things are huge! We had enough fish for the whole neighborhood. There was still fish in our freezer 6 months later. 
I think I'm going to like working as a Marine Egineer 

 

[Finished]

^ Awesome. That was before tuna became radio active and part plastic. I bet that was yummy.

 

[Efbee]

^ Awesome. That was before tuna became radio active and part plastic. I bet that was yummy.

Oh don't remind me about how the traitors to Humanity are at this very moment destroying our planet, that pisses me off. Not only are THEY destroying the earth with THEIR chemicals and plastics and oil and radioactive agents...but they are asking US  to make "efforts" and foot the bill for them to pretend to recycle things. They got some nerves.

And the tuna tasted awesome! I think we cooked it 5 different ways, lol

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I am curious. If, say, a professor who was a woman showed interest in you, would you date her? What about a doctor? A lawyer? Any woman with an advanced career who makes significantly more money than you, or is in a more socially advantageous position than you? How would it make you feel?

My fragile masculinity couldn't handle it  

I'm fine with it in theory but I wouldn't waste time showing interest in such people because women don't date down.

Dude, women will date down; they might expect you to improve yourself a bit tho, which is fine, and actually works out great, so long as their image of your better self can coexist with the one you are working on...

Some women, HAVE to date down, because they done ****** up, lol.  You take what you can get, sometimes.

 

[ardour]

I am curious. If, say, a professor who was a woman showed interest in you, would you date her? What about a doctor? A lawyer? Any woman with an advanced career who makes significantly more money than you, or is in a more socially advantageous position than you? How would it make you feel?

My fragile masculinity couldn't handle it  

I'm fine with it in theory but I wouldn't waste time showing interest in such people because women don't date down.

Dude, women will date down; they might expect you to improve yourself a bit tho, which is fine, and actually works out great, so long as their image of your better self can coexist with the one you are working on...

Some women, HAVE to date down, because they done ****** up, lol.  You take what you can get, sometimes.

And yet every piece of data available on this points to them not. It's not unusual for women to work corporate jobs through their 20s, treat dating like an entertaining distraction, then get to 35 with no options (they can stomach) and little time left to start a family. Aardra wanted to prove I'm an insecure chauvinist, which is kind of amusing really - where are these high achieving ladies lol?

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I am curious. If, say, a professor who was a woman showed interest in you, would you date her? What about a doctor? A lawyer? Any woman with an advanced career who makes significantly more money than you, or is in a more socially advantageous position than you? How would it make you feel?

My fragile masculinity couldn't handle it  

I'm fine with it in theory but I wouldn't waste time showing interest in such people because women don't date down.

Dude, women will date down; they might expect you to improve yourself a bit tho, which is fine, and actually works out great, so long as their image of your better self can coexist with the one you are working on...

Some women, HAVE to date down, because they done ****** up, lol.  You take what you can get, sometimes.

And yet every piece of data available on this points to them not. It's not unusual for women to work corporate jobs through their 20s, treat dating like an entertaining distraction, then get to 35 with no options (they can stomach) and little time left to start a family. Aardra wanted to prove  I'm a insecure chauvinist, which is kind of amusing really - where are these high achieving ladies lol?

I'm done beating a dead horse man.  I'll tell you a story or two.  I used to work at a Walmart, okay?  There was this dude and his wife that would come in.  Dude was a real nice guy, and his wife was even nicer.  Dude had a weight on his shoulders, though.  I don't know what it was, I didn't know him that well.  He was NOT a winner.  His wife, though, was.  The only time he was ever unkind to me, was when he came through my aisle, tripping on shrooms; and the dynamic was a bit more transparent.  This dude was insecure as **** in that moment, and for the first time, was cruel to me; and for the first time, I looked at his wife, not as his wife; but, as some one beautiful, radiant, understanding, forgiving, and suffering.  I wouldn't say either of those things happened one before the other, it just happened.  For the first time, I felt like I saw his wife in one of those moments where she was questioning who she was with; because this dude was clearly, tripping on mushrooms, walking around in a Walmart, sort of half put together, while his wife baby sat him.  I've no problem with people doing drugs; but, if you are a couple, you have to be into the same things, at least enough to a degree that you can share experiences; either that, or you both have to have your own thing, and have a respectful understanding AND appreciation of those things.  Obviously, tripping on shrooms in Walmart, didn't seem to be her idea of a good time; and for him it was.

Now, my point with that was, this dude, was beneath his wife, at least in that moment; he was embarrassing her.  And judging by what he was doing with his life at that moment, and what she was; most likely she was higher in professional ranking/status than he was.  So I've seen it with my own eyes.

Another example, is one of the houses we used to live in, when I was in my late teens.  The previous couple, was composed of house husband, married to a professional woman; she was the primary bread winner.  Clearly, he was not a high power/high status worker.  He cooked breakfast, cleaned house, and raised children, while his wife worked.

So, that's another example.  I'm not going to waste too much more time here, as it's starting to offend my intelligence.

I'll simply say, people in this forum may not be treating you kindly, as you've expressed in the previous post.  That happens.  Did you bring it upon yourself?  I don't know, I don't care (at this point(not because you aren't necessarily a genuine person capable of great love, deep thought, and campassion) because I'm tired(I apologize for that)).  Maybe, maybe not.

Lastly, I want you to recall a time when you've seen a very attractive woman, decry how she thinks she's not attractive.  Maybe you haven't seen or witnessed a woman say that; but, maybe you have.  Have you ever then, seen mobs of people come to shower her with compliments, and give her praise as to how beautiful she is?  It happens.  Some times we think low of ourselves, and people will be kind enough to show us otherwise.  Sometimes they are just being nice, some times they are being genuine, and other times, more likely for many women, it's because people want something from them.  That's not important.  What I'm talking about, is that particular woman, who after receiving a bunch of compliments, again, goes on to say she isn't beautiful, only to be told again how beautiful she is.  Then she repeats, gets more compliments.  Again, and again, she'll say over and over, no, I'm not, you're just saying that.  And eventually, if you are standing on the sidelines, to some degree at least, you begin to wonder, "is she just fishing for compliments?"  "She must be aware on some level, she's just fishing for compliments."  As you look at this woman who is at worst a 7 and at best a solid 8, maybe even a 9, over and over, saying she's ugly.  It gets old.

This thread is old dude.  I'm done.  Go ask a gay man living under taliban rule how he feels about his prospects of finding love one day.  So, I'm taking the risk on offending you here, and perhaps you'll offend me back, which will be painful; but, I'm done with this thread.  You literally live in one of the only countries on the ******* planet, where *** work is legal; and even that's, 'not an option,' for reasons XYZ...  You should go visit a brothel and buy one of the ladies a drink, if you can, and just pay her to play chess with you for ***** sake; you can actually do that, you don't have to have ***.   Win win, probably cheaper than a therapist too (probably money better spent too).  Do something about it, if you can, or learn to enjoy your own company a little better.

 

[ardour]

No I appreciate the honesty. It's the paying aspect that's the problem. I'll give you example of mine. I go a university gym where the staff are very sociable and have a habit of acting like your friend. One woman in particular tries to speak with me, help me out with form, general chat (she's partnered, nothing like that). Now I have no idea whether this person is genuine or not. She may well be, but there's a chance she's just trying to get another client for paid private consult... that small suspicion ruins it to the point where I can't really relax around her. So yeah paying for company when I *know* they would rather be somewhere else definitely isn't going to work. And frankly why should it get to that point? This is just how I am, neurotic and prone to negative feelings. Of course there's plenty of people worse off and yea I've considered doing some kind of charity work that could jolt me into appreciating what there is.

 

[TheRealCallie]

It's the paying aspect that's the problem. I'll give you example of mine. I go a university gym where the staff are very sociable and have a habit of acting like your friend. One woman in particular tries to speak with me, help me out with form, general chat (she's partnered, nothing like that). Now I have no idea whether this person is genuine or not. She may well be, but there's a chance she's just trying to get another client for paid private consult... that small suspicion  ruins it to the point  where I can't really relax around her. So yeah paying for company when I *know* they would rather be somewhere else definitely isn't going to work. And frankly why should it get to that point? This is just how I am, neurotic and prone to negative feelings. Of course there's plenty of people worse off and yea I've considered doing some kind of charity work that could jolt me into appreciating what there is.

Why does it have to be about suspicion at all.  Even if she is trying to get more clients, that's her JOB, it's how she makes a living.  It's your choice whether you choose to pay her for workout help.  You don't have to.  So regardless of why she is talking to you, she IS talking to you, so take it at that and ignore the rest.

A lot of people have ulterior motives for initially talking to others, that doesn't mean **** can't change and you couldn't become friends, which could eventually lead to potential dates later down the road with their friends/family.  Seriously, stop focusing on the negative aspect of ******* EVERYTHING, it's a big part of the reason your life is the way it is.

 

[Finished]

^Ard: It's totally up to you how you interrupt everything. A super confident guy would think that she wants his junk. Which in turn makes him feel even more confident. You, being more of a realist and more accurate, thinks she only sees dollar signs when she shows interest in you. BTW, I would think the same thing. So, that makes you and I feel less confident and/or aggravated. I don't like my attraction senses being used against me like that. IMO, most people are somewhere in between the two or probably don't give a **** one way or the other.

Many times waitresses seemed super nice to me. I thought, wow, she seems really nice, she likes me, and we seem to have the same sense of humor. I used to ask them out when they brought over the check. I watched others do it with success. However, I always received a disgusted look with an, oh..... thank you. You are so nice. But.......... Then when I went back to the restaurant I would always get served by a different waitress.

So, it's better just to think that she wants your junk and you could have her if you want too. But, she has something wrong with her so don't ask her out no matter what. You don't want to confirm the truth.

When someone is nice to you and there is no way they can gain anything from it except happy feelings, your friendship, or more then you can be fairly sure it's genuine.

 

[ardour]

When someone is nice to you and there is no way they can gain anything from it except happy feelings, your friendship, or more then you can be fairly sure it's genuine.

There's so few instances and most are so long ago there's nothing recent to  draw confidence from. Another example similar to yours, I saw some guy ahead in the queue get called a creep by the girl serving at a cafe (whispered it to a coworker a fraction of a second after he turned away, she was a lot younger than him but he was just making friendly chat, not hitting on her... seemed unnecessary). Now I'm sounding neurotic but it's hard to put this sort of thing out of mind and relax.

I get TropicalStarfish's point. I behave like an anchor dragging people down just to feel temporarily better. I'm worse than Karl Pilkington.

 

[LostintheBardo]

I am curious. If, say, a professor who was a woman showed interest in you, would you date her? What about a doctor? A lawyer? Any woman with an advanced career who makes significantly more money than you, or is in a more socially advantageous position than you? How would it make you feel?

My fragile masculinity couldn't handle it  

I'm fine with it in theory but I wouldn't waste time showing interest in such people because women don't date down.

Dude, women will date down; they might expect you to improve yourself a bit tho, which is fine, and actually works out great, so long as their image of your better self can coexist with the one you are working on...

Some women, HAVE to date down, because they done ****** up, lol.  You take what you can get, sometimes.

And yet every piece of data available on this points to them not. It's not unusual for women to work corporate jobs through their 20s, treat dating like an entertaining distraction, then get to 35 with no options (they can stomach) and little time left to start a family. Aardra wanted to prove  I'm a insecure chauvinist, which is kind of amusing really - where are these high achieving ladies lol?

I'm done beating a dead horse man.  

If anything I think Ardour is the one having to beat a deadhorse. The majority of women won't date down and the most unhappy demographic in the U.S is unmarried, childless career women. I think a lot of the people disagreeing with him are just choosing to look at the western dating scene as they'd prefer to see it and not as it actually is.

 

[LostintheBardo]

People just won't look at the facts, take a look at tinder swipe rates for instance: https://thebolditalic.com/the-two-worlds-of-tinder-f1c34e800db4

Funny thing is some people tell me I'm not bad looking but Tinder is still **** for me. I know I swipe right on a reasonable number of girls that are less attractive than me and the majority of those ones I still don't matches with. It just tells me that even they expect someone at the top end of the looks category. Think I have about 41 matches after months and months of being on there but a lot of them don't reply, lose interest etc, etc. Most of them aren't what I want agewise either and it's not uncommon for the best ones to unmatch right away.

I know some people will try and pull out the "blaming women for all your problems" fallacy but I don't think acknowledging a reality in the dating market is doing that.

 

[ardour]

The majority of women won't date down and the most unhappy demographic in the U.S is unmarried, childless career women. .

The few I've come across have seemed cold bordering on hostile.

 

[TheSkaFish]

^ Well I think all you have to do is add engineer to the end of whatever your title is. As in, domestic engineer, sanitation engineer, retail engineer, document engineer. I keep hearing people doing that. Give it a try. Ha! ha!

I would do this, but I feel like if I started calling myself an "engineer", I'd have to back it up by growing a mustache, taking up cigarettes, and maintaining a strict quota where at least 50% of the words I use, consist of foul language.