Pimple faced making me depressed

[Ak5]

I think worrying too much about it makes others more susceptible to view you differently.

Just because you have acne doesn't mean you can't make friends or have a relationship.

I too wake up every day and look at myself in the mirror: "Oh ****, a new one, just when the old ones were clearing up". I recently was getting better, but just a few days ago 3 new ones sprang up, not big ones but they got me pissed off. But hey, I don't leave the house so I'm lucky lol.

Worst part is that I'll run out of antibiotics in about a week and my special gel will run out during the beginning of December, and I'm starting High School in January. So, I just hope new ones don't spring up after I leave the meds. Best "mental" medicine is optimism and confidence.

 

[floffyschneeman]

spots are bothering me these days. While growing up, I rarely get them but when I do, they'd come as super huge monsters and would hurt a lot. It affects how I deal with people too cos I've gotten really nasty comments (out of concern) about my spots. sometimes, they're not just spot but 2 or 3 in one spot (d) the hell!

But anyway, now, they've been breaking out a lot and I am currently going through a tough time about my insecurities. Since I have a lot already and to top it all, here comes monster spots.

Where there are spots that can be mended my simple home remedies, or over the counter meds, sometimes the problem is hormonal, like what Callie had said. My friend told me about this girl who went to dermatologist for her spots and everything was cured by the med prescribed by her doctor except her breakouts on her chin, so the doc referred her to a gynecologist. But meh, I can't afford going to a doctor right now ^^

Also, another cause is stress. So I've read so many advice about how to avoid spots is to keep a positive and happy outlook in life. I could see where it could help, but yes I know it's hard to do.

Still at the end of the day, the most genuine people in the world are those who can see pass through our flaws, which all people are not lacking. But who can ever see your good sides if you cant see it yourself. Sometimes, it's not the people who can't see pass through our insecurities, but ourselves.

gotta keep a positive mind. good luck and let's support the anti-ance brigade.

 

[annik]

Thanks for hearing me out, Annik. This has caused deep pains in my life and it varies through culture and the people too and the worse to hear is that its my attitude when people have no idea what a person I am in real life. Of course on the Internet, I express my deepest feelings about the subject but dooesn't mean I go around walking about in my life with it.

About the boy/girl thing, it is really double standards.

I have seen men with terrible and deep acne scars and yet they have beautiful model like girlfriends. Let's be real, for guys, having acne isn't such a big problem for them and I've heard it said that acne scars may even suit their type of face and make them look 'cute'.

For example, take a look at Tommy Lee Jones and one other Spaniard actor (I forgot his name). Both of these men have deep acne scars, bad skin, but they are celebrities.

I've not met a single actress who was like that though.

Because it is not accepted for a woman to have bad skin. Period. I'm not saying it's accepted for guys, but it's easier on them and people don't think much about it.

When my friends asked a guy about what he thought of me after meeting me, she told me he said "Oh, Beans? The pimpled girl?" Those were his exact words and its like as if that's the only thing he saw of me.

Its funny because I've tried to start a few threads about how my skin makes me feel and I've always given up and just ended up in tears. Because no one here knows what I look I never really wanted to admit my imperfections. I really admire that you did.

A lot of people are gonna say its about having a certain outlook which is all very well and good. Some people can think like that, my mum and sister both do (all the women in my family suffer with their complexion). I however can't. I'll think sod it this is stupid it doesn't make you inhuman but it lasts about 5 minutes and to be honest I don't believe it.

Of course there's the double edged sword of that because upset and crying worsens my condition a lot.

Plus when you get to our age you kind of hope this issues have been consigned to the past.

As for celebrities, you kind of have a point. I do think there's more of a bombardment of images aimed at women which scream perfection and nothing less. I guess with cosmetic too. Its all about appearing "air brushed".

I mean I can't afford make up and even if I could I have little idea of how to use it and my skins far to sensitive anyway...great.

I feel the need to add too that my condition though treatable is incurable so thats it now for life. Its bloody depressing when I think about it.

 

[Sprint]

So what do those of you who have bad complexions want?

Is it about people changing their viewpoints or about just wanting the complexion to improve?

Just trying to understand here

 

[beans]

It really isn't about shallowness. It's about learning to overcome instincts... in relation to being with a girl with acne .. or anything else that could be visually perceived as an "illness".

Sorry didn't quite get you there. Instincts? Could you elaborate?

---

But the next solution to those problems is to go after guys that aren't shallow ********.

That is the problem. Don't meet many of them.

---

So what do those of you who have bad complexions want?

Is it about people changing their viewpoints or about just wanting the complexion to improve?

Just trying to understand here

I don't expect everyone to love my pimples but maybe just one guy who would see past it and not rule out girls who have acne just cause it looks so hideous.

I found that I cannot just want my complexion to improve. I drink lots of water, stay away from chilly, deep fried food, no chocolates, exercise regularly, used all kinds of face washes, seen a ton of skin specialists and still up till today, I have it. So.....

And no, I can't change people's viewpoints. This post is more of a deep cry about my struggle with acne and how to be not too bothered about it which is hard when you see other girls having flawless skin and having the time of their life.

---

I feel the need to add too that my condition though treatable is incurable so thats it now for life. Its bloody depressing when I think about it.[/font]

I know how that feels.

 

[IgnoredOne]

It really isn't about shallowness. It's about learning to overcome instincts... in relation to being with a girl with acne .. or anything else that could be visually perceived as an "illness".

Sorry didn't quite get you there. Instincts? Could you elaborate?

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His argument is that instinctually, our minds associate acne with illness, and thus the fundamental lack of attraction.

 

[21acceptedbeingalone]

Hey Beans I know how you feel. I am a guy and still have acne and I am 22. Have had it since I was like 12. I'd say mine is moderate but constant and it bothers me a lot too. Tried just about everything to get rid of it and nothing has worked. You might want to check out the acne.org forums. Has helped me feel better sometimes when I am feeling down about my acne.

 

[annik]

His argument is that instinctually, our minds associate acne with illness, and thus the fundamental lack of attraction.

My mind has never associated acne with illness. Plus why does it follow that illness is fundamentally unattractive? It doesn't. I think this is veiled "I don't wanna have to look at it"

 

[Peter Lorre]

I don't mind acne on a girl's face, it doesn't make her any less beautiful.

I'm sorry that people are so superficial in general and that it's causing you so much trouble. Things shouldn't be that way, especially as you try so hard to get rid of the acne.

It's the same with overweight people really. Some of them try so hard to get rid of their weight, yet most people just look down upon them and judge them without knowing the whole story. I wish people wouldn't be so judgmental, the world would be a much better place.

 

[beans]

His argument is that instinctually, our minds associate acne with illness, and thus the fundamental lack of attraction.

My mind has never associated acne with illness. Plus why does it follow that illness is fundamentally unattractive? It doesn't. I think this is veiled "I don't wanna have to look at it"

I agree. Its not a good reasoning at all. Some girls have other illnesses which are not physical but I guess that's okay huh?

---

I don't mind acne on a girl's face, it doesn't make her any less beautiful.

I'm sorry that people are so superficial in general and that it's causing you so much trouble. Things shouldn't be that way, especially as you try so hard to get rid of the acne.

It's the same with overweight people really. Some of them try so hard to get rid of their weight, yet most people just look down upon them and judge them without knowing the whole story. I wish people wouldn't be so judgmental, the world would be a much better place.

Yeah that's right. But somehow being overweight is not so bad as having acne. I see a lot of overweight girls in America finding a partner, getting married and having kids, etc.

 

[Ak5]

I personally prefer acne to being overweight. But that's just me, I've learned to act normal even though I have acne. I think the main issue is the confidence that drives people off; not the acne itself.

 

[annik]

His argument is that instinctually, our minds associate acne with illness, and thus the fundamental lack of attraction.

My mind has never associated acne with illness. Plus why does it follow that illness is fundamentally unattractive? It doesn't. I think this is veiled "I don't wanna have to look at it"

I agree. Its not a good reasoning at all. Some girls have other illnesses which are not physical but I guess that's okay huh?

Yeah it kind of plays to my paranoia that people see me as filthy or diseased because of my skin. Perversely I've often thought I could cope better if the redness on my face was a birthmark rather than a skin condition. People wouldn't see that as my fault or my doing. I mean maybe I'm talking bull but I once saw a documentary that featured a girl who had a birthmark over half her face and she was very confident and had a partner and a little baby and was very pretty. Trouble is I doubt I could ever find her strength.

 

[beans]

I personally prefer acne to being overweight. But that's just me, I've learned to act normal even though I have acne. I think the main issue is the confidence that drives people off; not the acne itself.

Confidence is subjective and overrated to me. For example, when you think of someone who lacks confidence or self esteem, you think of someone shy, quiet, standing in the corner, looking self conscious right?

Do you know that I've met people who are loud, boisterous, life of the party, extroverted but from their actions, they tell me they have no self esteem? For example, I know a girl who'd come to gatherings just to look for a rich and good looking guy. She would not talk to any of the other girls or guys who don't look like what she's looking for. She'd latch on to the rich and good looking ones and act like a total bimbo to get what she wants. As soon as she got one, she disappeared from the scene. If she had some self worth, she didn't need to do that.

Low self esteem come in many shades and forms.

Despite my acne, I go out and have been going out a lot, meeting new people - I have organized parties, events, go to clubs, attended single parties, so I know what I'm talking about. I have my real experience to back my claims and that's why I don't like to preach about what's not true or say things just because it sounds 'right'. I don't sit at home and write about what I think is true about the world.

And from my experience, I can tell you this much. Having acne turn most guys off despite all the confidence and charisma you can have as a girl. My good friend, she has acne problems too but she is really a very fun, outgoing and confident girl. She doesn't act like she's bothered about it but deep inside her, it does. Once, she did text me to say "OMG another big zit under my eye!"

She liked this guy one time but this guy didn't care about her personality and went for a very pretty girl instead who had a bimbo personality and treat others like crap.


I think you know what I'm trying to get. There ARE some guys who don't mind acne - yes, but this is VERY very rare.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I have to admit that I only noticed acne on a girl once and it didn't impact my feelings about her at all. I did riff her a bit about the makeup not hiding it very well. It didn't make me feel that she was ill, especially as I was also a teenager at the time and struggling with my own acne issues.

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

But the next solution to those problems is to go after guys that aren't shallow ********.

That is the problem. Don't meet many of them.

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---

Or is it that you don't meet them, because maybe, they're too pimple faced for you to give them the time of day? Or maybe they're too fat, or "ugly" for some other reason that's only on the surface. I bet you've met a nice guy before, and didn't even consider him for some silly reason. They're out there, and they want love just like you do, but you may have to see through something on the surface to see the nice guy underneath.

 

[beans]

But the next solution to those problems is to go after guys that aren't shallow ********.

That is the problem. Don't meet many of them.

---

---

Or is it that you don't meet them, because maybe, they're too pimple faced for you to give them the time of day? Or maybe they're too fat, or "ugly" for some other reason that's only on the surface. I bet you've met a nice guy before, and didn't even consider him for some silly reason. They're out there, and they want love just like you do, but you may have to see through something on the surface to see the nice guy underneath.

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Again you are judging me. The first guy that I really liked was short and overweight. But I liked him because I felt we got along really well. He had a big waistline, big butt, big legs, and was short and had no neck. I was smaller than him yet he asked me to 'slim' down.


Another guy I liked was also short and quiet, seems like all the girls wasn't interested in him and thought he was boring. I thought he was nice but again, he wasn't interested in me either.

I've also liked a guy with severe acne but he was already taken.

You seem to think that just cause a guy is overweight and has acne he would accept a girl who is also overweight with acne? LOL.....if it was that simple. LOL

Guys like those can have model gfs as long as they have the charm or money.

 

[Callie]

Confidence is subjective and overrated to me. For example, when you think of someone who lacks confidence or self esteem, you think of someone shy, quiet, standing in the corner, looking self conscious right?

Do you know that I've met people who are loud, boisterous, life of the party, extroverted but from their actions, they tell me they have no self esteem? For example, I know a girl who'd come to gatherings just to look for a rich and good looking guy. She would not talk to any of the other girls or guys who don't look like what she's looking for. She'd latch on to the rich and good looking ones and act like a total bimbo to get what she wants. As soon as she got one, she disappeared from the scene. If she had some self worth, she didn't need to do that.

Low self esteem come in many shades and forms.

Despite my acne, I go out and have been going out a lot, meeting new people - I have organized parties, events, go to clubs, attended single parties, so I know what I'm talking about. I have my real experience to back my claims and that's why I don't like to preach about what's not true or say things just because it sounds 'right'. I don't sit at home and write about what I think is true about the world.

And from my experience, I can tell you this much. Having acne turn most guys off despite all the confidence and charisma you can have as a girl. My good friend, she has acne problems too but she is really a very fun, outgoing and confident girl. She doesn't act like she's bothered about it but deep inside her, it does. Once, she did text me to say "OMG another big zit under my eye!"

She liked this guy one time but this guy didn't care about her personality and went for a very pretty girl instead who had a bimbo personality and treat others like crap.


I think you know what I'm trying to get. There ARE some guys who don't mind acne - yes, but this is VERY very rare.

I find it funny that you're telling Skuzzie not to judge you, yet that's all you seem to do is judge people. Perhaps it's not the acne that puts guys off, but your personality. Yeah, that may be mean and bitchy, but I've seen you write in this thread and others that you seem to know what people think and why they do what they do. You CANNOT know this, because you aren't them.
And no, those guys are NOT "VERY very rare."

 

[beans]

Yeah, that may be mean and bitchy,

Because you are like her.

but I've seen you write in this thread and others that you seem to know what people think and why they do what they do.

Speak for yourself. I've seen how you respond to others and the best part of it is you think you know what everyone thinks. You always need to force your opinions on others by being a bitch and boss others around. Even with that girl who was overweight and and couldn't get a guy, you said the meanest things to her. Sure she had issues but the way you treated her was uncalled for. This is a forum for people who have problems. If you do not have the patience for that, then I suggest you question your motives here. Just because you think you know that shallow guys are vast, piling up and not rare doesn't warrant you to be a bitch.

Do you always have to prove a point by being snarky?

Don't bother replying because I'm unsubscribing and outta here. You can be all the bitch you want. Bye Annik. Chin up. Many hugs to you.

 

[Callie]

Yeah, that may be mean and bitchy,

Because you are like her.

but I've seen you write in this thread and others that you seem to know what people think and why they do what they do.

Speak for yourself. I've seen how you respond to others and the best part of it is you think you know what everyone thinks. You always need to force your opinions on others by being a bitch and boss others around. Even with that girl who was overweight and and couldn't get a guy, you said the meanest things to her. Sure she had issues but the way you treated her was uncalled for. This is a forum for people who have problems. If you do not have the patience for that, then I suggest you question your motives here. Just because you think you know that shallow guys are vast, piling up and not rare doesn't warrant you to be a bitch.

Don't bother replying because I'm unsubscribing and outta here. You can be all the bitch you want. Bye Annik. Chin up. Many hugs to you.

Excuse me while I go die laughing because everything you just said to me and about me is ********.
And honey, I'd rather people think I'm a bitch for being honest than... yeah, I'll stop there.
And WHICH "girl that is overweight" are you referring to exactly? At least I have the courtesy to USE PEOPLE'S NAMES, instead of what YOU just did! Shall I now refer to you as "the girl with pimples," because I can't be bothered to give you the courtesy of using your name and have to use what you don't like about yourself?

You don't ******* know me, you don't ******* know what PROBLEMS I have, so how bout you back the **** off instead of spouting that ******* ********.

LOOK SKUZZ!!!!! I LIKE YOU NOW!!!! SHE SAID I DO SO IT MUST BE TRUE!!!! :d

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

Yeah, that may be mean and bitchy,

Because you are like her.

but I've seen you write in this thread and others that you seem to know what people think and why they do what they do.

Speak for yourself. I've seen how you respond to others and the best part of it is you think you know what everyone thinks. You always need to force your opinions on others by being a bitch and boss others around. Even with that girl who was overweight and and couldn't get a guy, you said the meanest things to her. Sure she had issues but the way you treated her was uncalled for. This is a forum for people who have problems. If you do not have the patience for that, then I suggest you question your motives here. Just because you think you know that shallow guys are vast, piling up and not rare doesn't warrant you to be a bitch.

Don't bother replying because I'm unsubscribing and outta here. You can be all the bitch you want. Bye Annik. Chin up. Many hugs to you.

Excuse me while I go die laughing because everything you just said to me and about me is ********.
And honey, I'd rather people think I'm a bitch for being honest than... yeah, I'll stop there.
And WHICH "girl that is overweight" are you referring to exactly? At least I have the courtesy to USE PEOPLE'S NAMES, instead of what YOU just did! Shall I now refer to you as "the girl with pimples," because I can't be bothered to give you the courtesy of using your name and have to use what you don't like about yourself?

You don't ******* know me, you don't ******* know what PROBLEMS I have, so how bout you back the **** off instead of spouting that ******* ********.

LOOK SKUZZ!!!!! I LIKE YOU NOW!!!! SHE SAID I DO SO IT MUST BE TRUE!!!! :d

LOL! too bad you scared her off before I could reply, but you said what I wanted to say anyway.
"NUH UH! I totally tried to date this fat guy, and this pimply guy, but they don't waaaaaant meeeee! D;"
I tried to tell her in the beginning that her attitude wasn't all so hot, and her attitude is what ended this whole thing.
But, if somehow she does see this, forget your pimples honey. Take a chill pill, do some yoga and some meditation, and find the nice girl that is hopefully inside.