questions about ****

[SlimShady]

Hi everyone, im a bit younger than most ppl on this forum and i guess lately i've been feeling a little guilty about the amount of **** i've been watching. Sometimes i wonder if watching it is even worth what it might do to my brain and how it might effect my future relationships. I watch 30-60 min aday and i feel like its severly desensitizing me. Pls don't try to scare me withfake myths just looking for honest real life experiences.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Well, I suppose the questions become how old are you, why are you watching it and why do you feel guilty about it?

Honestly, I feel it can be a learning experience for when you do have a relationship, but that ultimately depends on the answers to the questions I asked.

 

[Azariah]

**** is ok every once in a while. I had a problem with **** addiction before. I looked at so much **** that eventually I got tired of it.

 

[ardour]

"Sometimes i wonder if watching it is even worth what it might do to my brain and how it might effect my future relationships"

Men who spend their adolescence watching **** often end up with erectile dysfunction. You're conditioning your brain to respond to something that has very little to do with reality.

 

[ringwood]

I think **** can certainly give you a very unrealistic view of relationships and *** - some of it can be disturbing too. I've come across some pretty violent stuff in my time. You say it's 'severely desensitizing' you - how do you mean? Physically? Mentally? Both maybe?

 

[Finished]

The truth is men are designed to be with as many women as possible to keep the species going. So, we think about other women all the time. We want what we don't have. Woman want what other women have. Some, guys will lie about that and some gullible women will believe them.

My experiences as described below are similar to other guys that I have talked to. To begin with **** totally desensitizes you, as you already are starting to believe. In my early relationships it was awesome to look at the woman I was having *** with. It multiplied the experience especially when she looked back at me.

Then in between long stretches of girlfriends I would use ****. It was wonderful! I mean there are so many way more beautiful women then I can possible end up with. I can enjoy looking at them or reject them, as I often was, and move on to the next one. There's an endless supply. This one is slightly too fat, or her hair isn't right, or her hands are too big, etc, etc, etc. It is so easy to become very picky. It's difficult to stop doing that in real life. **** spoils your view of reality. The best part of **** to me is that they are at their best with all the make up, clothes, etc, etc, etc. They aren't tired from working all day, looking disheveled, and needing something. **** is all about me.

Then after a long dry spell, I got a girlfriend and it was a big disappointment. It didn't compare at all. **** was WAY better. So, I explained the situation to her and I totally stopped using ****. I asked her to be patient with me. She was and things got better. But I found myself needing to imagine being with many other women while having *** with her. I had to play **** in my head. It sort of worked out. She didn't no the difference. But, man, I really had to concentrate on other women.

Then she said we should try watching **** together. Her friends all did it and thought it would be fun. I told her my first reaction was hell yes! Awesome! But, then I said I didn't think it was a wise decision. But, she insisted. She said we should try it any way. So, we did. And, OMG! It was fantastic. I basically used her like a collection bag. Sure, I tried to push her buttons. But, it was like I was actually with the women in the videos. It was like I was having *** with a ton of really hot women. It was the best *** I ever had. She liked the improvement too.

Then she noticed how intensely I was watching the TV and ignoring her. She started getting jealous. She would turn it off in the middle, that *****! Ha! ha! Then she would start saying, lets skip the **** tonight. So, we would. What a huge let down. My performance was lack lust. It was like I was at a job. Then she said she didn't want to watch **** at all. So, I tried to work in a TV show with a pretty women or hope for a great commercial. It got me by. But, if it was just the two of us it was a HUGE mental struggle for me. *** with her was no longer enjoyable.

Then I found a woman, after another long pass of time, that liked to be in control during *** like me. It didn't seem like it was going to work out because we were battling each other. So, I suggested that she do whatever she needed to do with me and then I would do the same in return. We basically just used each other. I basically ignored her needs and she basically ignore my needs. It worked for me. But, I was shocked that she was okay with that. She actually said she liked it that way. But, I still had to concentrate on the **** images in my mind. I would have to completely leave reality, other then the physical senses, and enter into fantasy land in my mind. Sometimes when I stopped I was wigged out because I totally forgot where I was. Unfortunately she refused to watch **** no matter what. So, things got boring again.

So.....either

1. Stop watching **** because you are killing your future relationships especially for yourself.
2. Enjoy **** because you aren't going to be able to have a normal sexual relationship ever again.
3. Enjoy **** on a regular basis and be lucky enough to find a woman that does too. That's the best option! But it's very difficult to achieve.

 

[jjhemmy]

I just want to encourage you to LISTEN to YOU...and how you are feeling. If this is taking too much space in your life...then it is up to you to make it stop. It is hard once you get pulled into watching. Scientifically it DOES do things to our brain...it creates seratonin and if you have an addiction personalit...this can get worse. I found that **** totally affected my marriage and my relationship in an unhealty way! I would turn to it...for a quick fix instead of my hubby. NOT good. If you are using it to self soothe...find something better. Also..educate yourself on WHAT you are watching. These people are human in these videos and most of them are NOT there by a real choice. They are being used and objectified and for the short little pleasure of others. These are people that are daughers, mothers and sisters. We pervert what is supposed to be a lovely thing. I highly reccoment you think about that end of things and if you want to contrivute to that. I have teenage girls and most of their friends are all watching. Many will find that later they can't even get turned on by a regulatr girl. This is just not good for us. Years ago...it wasn't easily accessible for a reason. You had to be over 21 for a reason! It changes your brain. I will be the rare person that shares this side of things...so if you want to chat some more...please reach out. I am quite passionate about people seeing the harm that this does to us! There are so many more things you could be doing with your time that add value to your life or even someone elses!! So glad you reached out...you are listening to your gut telling you that there is better for your life!!

 

[Xpendable]

I think addiction is obviously bad, but I don't believe this "unrealistic" expectations. Specially in this day on age, people can tell the difference between reality and fiction. And it takes a little common sense to realize that's not how the world works. No one has been purposedly trying to push a narrative about sexuality and **** as if they were the same thing, so I don't get where this idea came from.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I had a problem with **** addiction before. I looked at so much **** that eventually I got tired of it.

I think this could work. The curiosity and the anticipation could be greater than the "high". Once you get tired of it, it's not a battle of willpower anymore. You won't feel like you have to resist, because it will have become boring.

 

[Finished]

I had a problem with **** addiction before. I looked at so much **** that eventually I got tired of it.

I think this could work.  The curiosity and the anticipation could be greater than the "high".  Once you get tired of it, it's not a battle of willpower anymore.  You won't feel like you have to resist, because it will have become boring.

Ummmm........ Really? What **** are you guys looking at? When it gets boring you switch to a different type.

 

[WanderingInTheWoods]

I can understand when people are looking at **** and feeling excited about it, but I wouldn't continue to watch it if I were to feel guilty about it. That's just me though. I rarely watch it at all and this is me being honest. I'm an intellectual, I love connecting with people by speaking to them openly and deeply about things. When it gets to an addiction it certainly can change your views on the world.

Than again I'm just a nerd. =P

 

[murthag]

I have kinda the similar problem, since last year I watch **** at least once day (today I have already gapped mineself 2 times), I don't feel guilty but I do it when I'm bored (today I was home alone, mine parents went out for the day)

 

[JJW]

I'm not really a **** person. I don't really even care for love scenes in movies. I guess I'd rather read it than watch it...not that I read ****, but erotica on occasion. A mental movie from a good prose is so much more rewarding.

Sexual stimulation is a necessity. Not for the *** of it, but for the mental chemicals released. It's a stress reliever and an antidepressant.

Maybe the guilt is about how you are getting your endorphins. Try reading a book. And remember, it's the climb to excitement that stimulates mental health. If you race to a conclusion you might start looking into *** addiction and and how it fits you.

 

[Finished]

Yeah, **** isn't really used much any more. That's why the Internet is full of it.

 

[morrowrd]

Hi everyone, im a bit younger than most ppl on this forum and i guess lately i've been feeling a little guilty about the amount of **** i've been watching. Sometimes i wonder if watching it is even worth what it might do to my brain and how it might effect my future relationships. I watch 30-60 min  aday and i feel like its severly desensitizing me. Pls don't try to scare me withfake myths just looking for honest real life experiences.

**** contaminates your thought life.  Everything you put in, comes out somehow - behaviorwise.  I know you're young, I was young too once.  In my early twenties I was in the army - my buddies tried to get me to contribute towards their **** collection because after being in the field for awhile, "I was going to want some."  I assured them I wasn't interested, and I wasn't.  I wouldn't even go to movies or watch on TV programs that had romance - because I was avoiding that. Not because I didn't want it, but because I didn't want to hurt myself by getting into a relationship I couldn't maintain because I didn't have enough control over my life right then.  I was super jealous of married couples and fellow soldiers with girlfriends, but I stayed out of it, biding my time for later.  I did slip - story in itself, and dated someone but regretted it.

Moral of the story - stay out of ****.  Do your best to control your thought life, you won't regret it.  If you're lucky enough to get a girlfriend, allow her the opportunity to take care of those needs. That's the proper place to take care of sexual needs and desires.... Take the energy you'd freely donate to ****, and work on yourself instead.

 

[morrowrd]

Just wanted to clarify, add to what I wrote - after re reading it I thought the message might be misinterpreted.  There is a saying that goes something along the lines of "it doesn't matter what we think about, it's what we do that matters."  The problem with this saying, is that there are consequences for thoughts if we aren't careful.  Thoughts can easily turn into obsessions, which can evolved into behaviors that are unhealthy.

The story about not dating, I was relating back to the idea of not feeding my mind with material that would undermine my goals, such as watching movies or tv programs that had any kind of romance involved.  In like manner, **** will give your mind "reading material" that will clutter it up with sexual things that could undermine a person who is struggling with a sexual obsession.

 

[JJW]

Just wanted to clarify, add to what I wrote - after re reading it I thought the message might be misinterpreted.  There is a saying that goes something along the lines of "it doesn't matter what we think about, it's what we do that matters."  The problem with this saying, is that there are consequences for thoughts if we aren't careful.  Thoughts can easily turn into obsessions, which can evolved into behaviors that are unhealthy.

The story about not dating, I was relating back to the idea of not feeding my mind with material that would undermine my goals, such as watching movies or tv programs that had any kind of romance involved.  In like manner, **** will give your mind "reading material" that will clutter it up with sexual things that could undermine a person who is struggling with a sexual obsession.

While you are not wrong, it isn't healthy to blanket *** with that much negativity.  I subscribe to a natural order, thus marriage isn't an institution that I hold very high.  That's not to say a commitment between partners isn't sacred. But that's the thing, why do two people need a contract between them when contracts are by their nature designed for purposes of mistrust.  Not to make this about marriage.  It's *** in general that is my point, in or out of marriage.

I'm am not condemning personal choice.  Should someone care to save themselves for marriage, or clarity of thought, that's their business and I'll respect that.  But the lack of sexual activity can be as harmful as too much.  We are sexual creatures by nature.  We have three overriding instincts that control us, survival (fight or flight), propagation (***), and sustenance (food collection and consumption).  To demonstrate their hierarchy;  If you are having *** and a man walks in with a gun chances are you're going to focus on survival.  But not so much if he walks in with a hamburger.

*** is our second strongest instinct.  It serves more purpose than propagation.  A satisfying sexual encounter leaves us stress free and content.  Those are remarkably important for positive mental health.  Alternative relief methods are drugs and alcohol.  From my own point of view, they are far more dangerous than a little whoopee.

That's not to say everyone needs ***, drugs or booze.  Most need some form of them.  These are things we crave to fight depression, stress, and trauma.  In moderation there really isn't much concern about any of them.  To clarify, *** is a drug.  So is adrenaline, someones drug might be danger.  We use these things to balance the troubles that plague our minds.  These internal turmoils can rage for decades.  If we don't find some manner of occasional relief they can drive us to insanity.  These relievers don't fix anything.  They simply give us time to deal subconsciously with our issues.  The bigger the issue, the more intense is a need to relieve it.

It's not surprising that someone might shy from a certain reliever.  Me, I hate a drunk.  I have good reason to.  I don't drink.  I'd much rather learn someone was excessive with **** than alcohol.  I don't have much patience with a junkie, either.  Among these, **** is the least damaging to those around us.  When the troubles are so intense sometimes moderation doesn't help.  Like drugs and alcohol, in excess **** can be personally destructive.  But among these, it isn't the habit that needs to be addressed as much as the underlying reason for the habit.

We don't really know why the original poster has an issue with ****.  It's my assumption that he is escaping something.  **** is his way to feel good for an hour.  It is my suggestion that he examine what it might be that drives his need to feel good.  I'd also suggest he divide his relievers with other activities that he can enjoy.

**** is also a very broad entity.  The type of **** could be what disturbs him and can be an indicator of coming problems, for instance, if someones thing is women being subdued, ***** and beaten then there is certainly cause for alarm.  However, if someone just likes to watch what amounts to a mutual love exchange, what's the harm.


If **** causes you guilt and concern then find another drug.  On the other hand I don't think having a healthy interest in *** is a problem.  Like Calli said, the experience of watching others can be an advantage in future relationships.  You could look at it as learning how to be a partner that satisfies, but you have to look at that side of the videos.

 

[August Campbell]

Some sexual practices can be pretty bizarre. For example, a woman smearing her ****** with honey and allowing flies and other insects to tickle the area.

 

[Finished]

^ Ha! ha! I think we just found a new **** Director.

---

However, if someone just likes to watch what amounts to a mutual love exchange, what's the harm.

For the reasons I pointed out earlier on the sixth post.

 

[JJW]

For the reasons I pointed out earlier on the sixth post.

One point that has been missing from this thread is personality type. Nothing that anyone says is pertinent to all. I would disagree with your sixth post as it pertains to me, but it might apply completely to the OP. Only he knows.