Questions for both Men and Women.

[user 135671]

My missus just spent 30 minutes doing her make up, she normally wears very little and takes less than 5 minutes to apply it, she has an interview at work today for a promotion and it got me thinking.

So here's my question(s), can a woman be successful without wearing make up?.

Can the way someone looks actually indicate if someone is good for the job?

 

[Unsigned]

Hmm Do you think its fair to say picky people are lonely by choice?

Here's the thing and I hope I don't sound like a jerk ( I know...too late! ) for saying the following.

There are different levels of satisfaction.
Here is a very broad generalization.
1) Happy
2) Unhappy
3) Freaking Miserable

I was at (3) as a boy and teen.
As an adult, I have always been at (2).
If I had to "settle" for a woman I found physically unattractive, I'd be back at (3) again.
So yes, I suppose it is my choice to be lonely, but the alternative, IMO, is worse.
Again, these are only my thoughts and my own idiosyncrasies due to the circumstances of my life.
I think other people who find someone and accept each other unconditionally are much happier.
"The tree grows as the sapling is bent"...

 

[Unsigned]

Can the way someone looks actually indicate if someone is good for the job?

I worked in a division with a female managing director many years ago who was 6 foot tall and easily 250 lbs.
Face like a truck driver.
She was well known in the industry and later became co-head of one of the largest and well known hedge funds in the world.
So I have to say no, it does not indicate how good they are for the job.

But it would also be naive to think it does not help or matter.
The beautiful people get opportunities that the rest of us either never get or have to work our @$$es off for.
I've see it happen too many times to discount it.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

My missus just spent 30 minutes doing her make up, she normally wears very little and takes less than 5 minutes to apply it, she has an interview at work today for a promotion and it got me thinking.

So here's my question(s), can a woman be successful without wearing make up?.

Can the way someone looks actually indicate if someone is good for the job?

Sometimes I think it is more of a confidence boost. However, my brother came to one of my auditions once and he said a woman was so beautiful she was getting the job hands down and she did so maybe theres some truth to how good you look may grant you pretty privileges

 

[TheSkaFish]

Hmmm opinions… Can someone be truly lonely and still picky and fussy and have standards? Or is their pickiness proof they are not lonely at all?

I think a person can be lonely, and still have standards - but it's not that they're fussy or proof that they're not lonely.

I think about it from my own point of view. I've always been lonely romantically, I've never even been on a date. But, I still need to be with someone I find mentally stimulating/interesting and fun to talk to - someone that I actually want to talk to and hear from. And it has to be someone that makes me feel good being around them and talking to them, and it has to be someone that I care about, have feelings for.

The physical side can happen after I have those initial things, instead of the other way around like it is for a lot of people - I've had it happen before where I like someone as a person, and then realize that I could like them as a woman as well, and that I missed something when we first met. My first impression of them changed. But the first part, liking them as a person, is a must.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I think a person can be lonely, and still have standards - but it's not that they're fussy or proof that they're not lonely.

I think about it from my own point of view. I've always been lonely romantically, I've never even been on a date. But, I still need to be with someone I find mentally stimulating/interesting and fun to talk to - someone that I actually want to talk to and hear from. And it has to be someone that makes me feel good being around them and talking to them, and it has to be someone that I care about, have feelings for.

The physical side can happen after I have those initial things, instead of the other way around like it is for a lot of people - I've had it happen before where I like someone as a person, and then realize that I could like them as a woman as well, and that I missed something when we first met. My first impression of them changed. But the first part, liking them as a person, is a must.

Interesting, I agree Ska, I have this family member who was single for a very long time everyone told her she’d never attract anyone shes into because shes not attractive enough, she was painfully lonely but she found some guy who is amazing in looks and he wants a baby with her asap its like insane but I think sticking to her standards wasnt proof she wasnt lonely

 

[user 139760]

My missus just spent 30 minutes doing her make up, she normally wears very little and takes less than 5 minutes to apply it, she has an interview at work today for a promotion and it got me thinking.

So here's my question(s), can a woman be successful without wearing make up?.

Can the way someone looks actually indicate if someone is good for the job?

Interesting. I've hired my fair share of people when I was in my mid 20's. In my case, it wasn't about what they looked like, be it men or women, but about how proffessionnal they looked, if they took the interview seriously or not. If somes comes in with hair undone, a drink stain still on their shirt, torn clothing and mismatched shoes (yes, I've seen that), PLUS, they look like they are still under the effects of the bender they woke up from a half hour ago, I'll likely not hire them. But if they made an effort of dressing cleanly and professionally, if they made an effort to be on time and answer clearly and concisely the questions asked, they'll get a job.
So make up for an interview? I don't think I've really ever noticed it, even when I hired cosmeticians. It's about if they looked like a company employee and carried themselves in a good reflection of the brand image (this was a chain named Jean Coutu in Quebec).

You don't really know if they are good or not. But let's be honest; work, as a general rule, isn't complicated; you don't necessarily need someone "good" as much as you need someone who's a good fit for a company. In our case back then, two main issues we faced with our employees was having them show up on time and having them not call in sick without any kind of advance notice. That was what I was mostly trying to determine during an interview.

 

[TheRealCallie]

That in its own is debatable. NB4 Callie, there is already a whole thread on that, use the search function.

HEY! That's my job!!!!

 

[TheRealCallie]

My missus just spent 30 minutes doing her make up, she normally wears very little and takes less than 5 minutes to apply it, she has an interview at work today for a promotion and it got me thinking.

So here's my question(s), can a woman be successful without wearing make up?.

Can the way someone looks actually indicate if someone is good for the job?

I would say it depends on the job. I mean, if it's the fashion industry...Um, FRESIA YES!
Or say you are going to be the "face" of the company and/or recruiting people or whatever, where you will often be seen in public and people know who you work for, then again, yes, it probably helps to look nice.
But, if it's like a factory or somewhere no one is really going to see, not really.

 

[user 148069]

My missus just spent 30 minutes doing her make up, she normally wears very little and takes less than 5 minutes to apply it, she has an interview at work today for a promotion and it got me thinking.

So here's my question(s), can a woman be successful without wearing make up?.

Can the way someone looks actually indicate if someone is good for the job?

I hope it's okay for me to reply to your post.

Just chiming in on what Callie said, depends on the industry. If I may share my own experience, I worked in the animation industry so makeup and looks didn't matter. Even when I went for interviews with makeup on, in the end the interviewer just wants to see my portfolio and they would give me a test and ask me to draw something on the spot or test my skills with a software. I could have sworn they didn't even take a look at my face!

I wish your missus all the best and I hope she gets that promotion.

 

[4No1]

So here's my question(s), can a woman be successful without wearing make up?.

Can the way someone looks actually indicate if someone is good for the job?

Depends on a job.
But, I think, it's a true, that deep inside people tend to think(or better to say to feel) that more good-looking people are more clever as well, so it can influence a little bit
I'm not sure about being successful, but women can definetely get a good job without make up. All my intervewies except the first one(omg, I still work there) were online. I think looks would only matter if they had someone with the same skills and had to choose. And I also suppose they would choose a man first, so if they had another woman woth the same skills. Anyway, I'm sure my failures were not because of my looks or gender, but because of my skills.

 

[user 135671]

I wish your missus all the best and I hope she gets that promotion.

Thank you

 

[user 135671]

Interesting replies, thanks guys n gals. In my late teens I worked in a well known record store. I found it really bizarre that girls were asked to cover any visible tattoos and remove facial piercings and guys never were.

 

[user 139760]

Interesting replies, thanks guys n gals. In my late teens I worked in a well known record store. I found it really bizarre that girls were asked to cover any visible tattoos and remove facial piercings and guys never were.

We had that too were I used to work at. Ironically it was the opposite, because my boss had a thing for tattooed girls younger than him and was a lecherous arse who cheated on his wife. I applied it to everyone, starting with myself (my ear used to be pierced).

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Is it fair to demand your partner takes off revealing pictures on their social media, because it makes you uncomfortable ?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Is it fair to demand your partner takes off revealing pictures on their social media, because it makes you uncomfortable ?

I'm not sure it's fair to DEMAND anything in a relationship.
That said, I don't think it's necessarily wrong to ask if it makes you uncomfortable. And depending on the reasons for having those pictures up, I think the person should seriously consider taking them down, or at least hiding them.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I'm not sure it's fair to DEMAND anything in a relationship.
That said, I don't think it's necessarily wrong to ask if it makes you uncomfortable. And depending on the reasons for having those pictures up, I think the person should seriously consider taking them down, or at least hiding them.

Ooh I like this view point no demands at all but requests but if you’d break up over it… isnt it a demand? I have a lost of demand lol might rename it to list of commands mandatory requests? Prerequisites?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Ooh I like this view point no demands at all but requests but if you’d break up over it… isnt it a demand? I have a lost of demand lol might rename it to list of commands mandatory requests? Prerequisites?

Well, if a breakup happens over one thing, that would make it essentially an ultimatum. Those have no place in a relationship, IMO. But, that said, there are things people can accept and things people can't accept. If it's over some pictures, I suppose you have to look at it like which one is more important to you. The relationship or the pictures. Are those pictures really worth losing the relationship over? Now, if you're a model, that would be a little different. That's literally your job and other person would have to decide if that's something the can handle. Not all people will be able to handle that. But if they are just recreational pictures, I don't really see the big deal, just take them down or hide them.

But on the other hand, depending on the nature of the photos and exactly how revealing they are, is the person being asked to remove them comfortable with being told how they can and cannot dress?

It's really a fine line for both sides and completely depends on the context.

 

[TheRealCallie]

To add to that, a relationship has to be about give and take, but it also has to be about boundaries. Decide where yours are, find out what his are and see if it will work. If you aren't okay with his set lines or he isn't okay with yours, you need to sit down and decide where it can really go. See if any compromises can be made. You should NEVER lose yourself in a relationship and neither should the other person. You are two people coming together, you have to work together to make it work.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

To add to that, a relationship has to be about give and take, but it also has to be about boundaries. Decide where yours are, find out what his are and see if it will work. If you aren't okay with his set lines or he isn't okay with yours, you need to sit down and decide where it can really go. See if any compromises can be made. You should NEVER lose yourself in a relationship and neither should the other person. You are two people coming together, you have to work together to make it work.

I like this ! Boundaries are my new power word. It’s strange, I am easily ridged when it comes to my list of ultimatums but when its like grey area stuff I never know where to draw the line. So I like clear rules, but most adults like blurred lines in relationships