Questions for the Men

[Adamridge79]

this has been jovial and enlightening

 

[Adamridge79]

When you find the wiley and reclusive physchophant in their natural environ..it's wondrous

 

[Colster]

You know, I love a protector, but theres just something weak about picking on the weak... You know? I deffo find it gross and would never condone anything like that. I remember one guy...he made this boy sit and get make up put on him by the girls.. I cant imagine the humiliation he felt, and it was like if he didn't let them that guy was gonna really... hurt him.


Do you think your height was the main cause for bullying? Do you think they wanted you to be insecure because of your height?

Bullies looks for anything different. If I had been tall, fat, thin, anything, there's always something. It isn't about me, it's about their insecurities. Although, being young and 5'5", some 5'6" **** is still going to comment about me being small, if he's looking for an easy target.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Because the guy created a comparison where he looked stronger. Also, I think some people like these comparisons because it makes them feel better about themselves and their own insecurities - "at least I'm not that person/kind of person, etc". It makes them feel like "insiders", whether they really are, or not.



Yep. I was in elementary at the time but I remember this as well. I hated it. Even as a kid, I knew it was wrong, and just stupid. The thing was, in addition to being bullies, these people also had a knack for twisting things and presenting themselves as the victim instead of the aggressor they really were. And if you stood up for yourself, nobody was interested in hearing your side of the story, it was just that you were fighting, and that was it. So all the zero-tolerance policy accomplished, was essentially protecting and condoning bullies, while making sure no one could stick up for themselves. I don't know how anyone thought that forcing people to just take it, was somehow the answer. I think it was because they didn't really care. "Zero tolerance" means less work.



I guarantee they don't. It's their personality, or mindset. They're pro-"survival of the fittest", because they see themselves on the side of the "fittest", even if they're really not. They've believed, probably from an early age, that they're stronger/richer/better at something/whatever else than most people, and therefore it means they're superior, and have the right to treat anyone who they think isn't as strong as them, any way they see fit. And it's likely their whole lives since then, and the people around them, have only confirmed their beliefs. They don't think about this stuff because they don't care to. That's why I have such strong feelings about it. They know right from wrong, choose wrong anyway, and don't care because in their mind they're never wrong, because might makes right and they think they're mighty. They're sociopaths and egotists, so reconsidering, apologizing, or admitting fault or guilt is just not something that kind of person does.

Ugh SkaFish, I cant take this... this is so insightful, like Jesus... thissss this is what I loveee. Let's get married? Just don't tell Finished... eh..he knows I cant be trusted lol

But jokes aside... this was so picked and detailed. The "insiders" is a real thing, you know it's like psychological, I watched this military film, and one guy was picked on the whole time, made an example of, it kept everyone else in line, no one wanted to be him... they easily had the numbers to over power all the guards, but that fear... was binding.

Whats your view on bullies are ... victims and most have a very hard home life? Would you feel sympathy for a hardcore bully if you found out he had a hard home life?

 

[Adamridge79]

>has to do basic< lol

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Bullies looks for anything different. If I had been tall, fat, thin, anything, there's always something. It isn't about me, it's about their insecurities. Although, being young and 5'5", some 5'6" **** is still going to comment about me being small, if he's looking for an easy target.

Sometimes, I feel like people wanna force others to be insecure about something, like they cant accept a confident short man, or a confident larger lady...

 

[Adamridge79]

Never, ever, face actual discourse

 

[Adamridge79]

Oh....and never evolve

 

[TheSkaFish]

like they cant accept...a confident larger lady...

I can accept a confident larger lady. More than accept. I am all in for curvy girls. "Pleasantly plump" is my preferred body type. Sorry if that's TMI but it's true!

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I can accept a confident larger lady. More than accept. I am all in for curvy girls. "Pleasantly plump" is my preferred body type. Sorry if that's TMI but it's true!

Pleasantly plump lool never ever heard that before, but I respect it soooo much

 

[TheSkaFish]

Pleasantly plump lool never ever heard that before, but I respect it soooo much

To be clear "pleasantly plump" isn't the same as "morbidly obese". It's definitely chubby and fluffy, but not "this person clearly has a problem". I wouldn't want to fetishize a condition.

It's more like - and I've heard it described this way - "an hourglass, with more sand in it".

 

[CenotaphGirl]

To be clear "pleasantly plump" isn't the same as "morbidly obese".

It's more like - and I've heard it described this way - "an hourglass, with more sand in it".

Hmmm... would morbidly obese be a no?

 

[TheSkaFish]

Hmmm... would morbidly obese be a no?

Not necessarily in an "eww" sense, but in a "you have to get healthy for your own good" sense.

You're from the UK, maybe you know who I'm talking about. Think Lucy Collett, at her biggest size (for pleasantly plump, not obese). People online made fun of her saying she was fat, but I thought she was super attractive.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Not necessarily in an "eww" sense, but in a "you have to get healthy for your own good" sense.

You're from the UK, maybe you know who I'm talking about. Think Lucy Collett, at her biggest size. People online made fun of her saying she was fat, but I thought she was super attractive.

could you stay, love and support someone through that?

 

[TheSkaFish]

could you stay, love and support someone through that?

I'd like to think I would. Especially if we are talking about after real feelings have already developed. It would be pretty cold to abandon someone when they could really use all the help they can get.

And I'd like to think someone would do the same for me. Not so much with weight because I don't have a huge issue with that. But just with life and other things.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Ugh SkaFish, I cant take this... this is so insightful, like Jesus... thissss this is what I loveee. Let's get married? Just don't tell Finished... eh..he knows I cant be trusted lol

But jokes aside... this was so picked and detailed. The "insiders" is a real thing, you know it's like psychological, I watched this military film, and one guy was picked on the whole time, made an example of, it kept everyone else in line, no one wanted to be him... they easily had the numbers to over power all the guards, but that fear... was binding.

Pssh - it's Finished, or me! I will be no one's side piece!

Thanks though. If I know something I try to explain. I wish I could go back in time and explain a lot of things to myself, that I just didn't get at the time. Would have made things a LOT better.

The only trouble is, I only seem to be insightful about unhappy things. Shows what's on my mind I guess.

And yeah I think the insider thing is psychological. People can be reassured if there's someone below them in the pecking order, no one wants to be on the bottom. I just wish we could throw out pecking orders altogether, I think it would make life happier. I guess the best we can do for now is just to try not to think about them too much.

Whats your view on bullies are ... victims and most have a very hard home life? Would you feel sympathy for a hardcore bully if you found out he had a hard home life?

Hmm. Well, in my experience, most aren't like this. Most are from lives of ease, and it goes to their heads. That's why they think they're better. And that's why I don't like them, it's like, they already have it good, so what, they need to pick on people too?

But even if I found out they had a hard home life...no, I'm afraid I won't have any sympathy. I have lines, and once someone says and does too much to disrespect me and cross my lines, that's it. I can forgive small stuff, one-off stuff. But once something becomes consistent or deep it's like, that's not an accident, that's who the person really is inside, that's their character. And that's what they really think of me. They know right from wrong, they know what they're doing. It's no excuse.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Pssh - it's Finished, or me! I will be no one's side piece!

Thanks though. If I know something I try to explain. I wish I could go back in time and explain a lot of things to myself, that I just didn't get at the time. Would have made things a LOT better.

The only trouble is, I only seem to be insightful about unhappy things. Shows what's on my mind I guess.

And yeah I think the insider thing is psychological. People can be reassured if there's someone below them in the pecking order, no one wants to be on the bottom. I just wish we could throw out pecking orders altogether, I think it would make life happier. I guess the best we can do for now is just to try not to think about them too much.



Hmm. Well, in my experience, most aren't like this. Most are from lives of ease, and it goes to their heads. That's why they think they're better. And that's why I don't like them, it's like, they already have it good, so what, they need to pick on people too?

But even if I found out they had a hard home life...no, I'm afraid I won't have any sympathy. I have lines, and once someone says and does too much to disrespect me and cross my lines, that's it. I can forgive small stuff, one-off stuff. But once something becomes consistent or deep it's like, that's not an accident, that's who the person really is inside, that's their character. They know right from wrong, they know what they're doing. It's no excuse.

Lool I just dont know... how is a girl supposed to choose, you must have a duel, the winner will take my hand as his fair (orange) maiden lol Finished will probably say, have her... im not leaving the house for that

You know what im so good at seeing everyones point of view that im super deep on controversial issues. It can be a double edge sword though... sometimes it can make people think I only care about ruffling feathers so to speak. Which isn't me at all lol I just like saying... have you ever seen this perspective, what would your life experiences make of this? It just excites me to learn more. So I dont particularly think it's a bad thing that you explain unhappy things well, makes you a deep thinker in Princess Cen's book.

I think and no offence to anyone, sometimes people see the big houses and the luxury lifestyle and think ugh they have everything. But one show I watched said it best, "it's not about the size of the house, it's about what goes on in it" Omg. hearing that opened my bloody eyes. I thought that is so true. Even police are guilty of just turning a blind eye... because how bad could it be, or they're just spoilt.. you know? So a lot of issues can go over looked.

I do agree with you that they have no right, and that they made their choice.

 

[ardour]

Most women aren't consciously picking winners in some cruel heartless manner, but it seems to pan out that way because the men who come out of adolescence unscathed have confidence, aren't ruled by their insecurities and can actually hold decent conversations with women without being intimidated or constantly apologizing for themselves.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Most women aren't consciously picking winners in some cruel heartless manner, but it seems to pan out that way because the men who come out of adolescence unscathed have confidence, aren't ruled by their insecurities and can actually hold decent conversations with women without being intimidated or constantly apologizing for themselves.

This is very trueeee.... I feel its the same with guys in some respects though, a lot of films show the "nerd" wanting "the girl" or should I say... "that girl" but what about all the other nerdy girls? Why are they always over looked?

 

[ardour]

This is very trueeee.... I feel its the same with guys in some respects though, a lot of films show the "nerd" wanting "the girl" or should I say... "that girl" but what about all the other nerdy girls? Why are they always over looked?

Nerdiness is neither here nor there for most guys. An attractive nerdy girl would be many a man's dream. The women who are overlooked aren't nerds, they're those who aren't blessed with their appearance, as in very below average looking, morbidly obese, etc. Maybe those with a serious mental illnesses, severe introversion or physical disabilities as well (*all this has to be quite severe for it be a problem)