LonelyDragon
Well-known member
Looks like I have some catching up to do. Sunweb and Logos (as well as others) gave some good answers. Unacceptance in his own humorous way has given some good answers too.
“Why do men ask what a woman is doing this weekend without any intentions of asking her out?”
Well, in some cases it may just be small talk. In a lot of them (and this is where I fall in) we’re trying to build up the courage to ask you out but can’t go through with it. I have been able to a few times and even after she said she didn’t have any plans, as soon as I asked her suddenly she can’t go out. Very crushing.
For your translations from that book. Well, yes there are a lot of guys out there who think that way. They drive me nuts. Guys like that are the biggest reason so many of us have a hard time getting women to trust our intentions. Yes, we’re all guys. We all have the voice in our heads that comes from our sex drive. But many of us are able to – maybe not silence it, but at least pay less attention to it than the ones who inspire books like that.
Yes, we do go to bars and clubs. We’re usually with a small group of friends or alone at the bar. Look for the guy in the dark corner trying not to be seen, or the one at the bar not turning around or spending his time watching the tv. Like was said, we have a hard time approaching women there. Especially if they are in a group. A group of women is bad enough, but if you’re there with guys……well we have no way of knowing if you’re with one of them.
Even eye contact is hard for me. In some cases if she sees me I’ll turn away embarrassed. If I see her smile my way then a lot of times I am afraid to ruin that by opening my mouth and having her find out what an idiot I am.
Calling at a specific time? Well, my word is about all I really have. If I say I’m going to do something I do it. Now, having said that there is another thing to take into account. If I say I’ll call at 10:00 and the phone rings right at 10, does that seem desperate? Would making it seem like I wasn’t sitting there with my thumb on the send button while I count down the seconds be better? Not necessarily 45 minutes, but maybe 5?
And you should wear anything that you feel comfortable in, but also something that gives the message you want it to.
The one time I did have to break up with a woman it was quick and in person. But necessary. We were driving along and she was smacking me for something stupid. I pulled over and got out of the car right there on the highway and walked home. Had to have a friend take me to pick my car up at her house the next day. But even if it was one of those slow to happen things I would do it in person out of respect. If it’s the other way around – well I don’t know. I would hope they’d have the same respect for me, but then again I wouldn’t want them to see me break down. So either way is bad. But via text? No way!
It sounds like you did the right thing breaking up with “GMW”. He just sounds too immature to know what’s important, thus taking you for granted. And now that you’ve broken up with him his ego won’t accept that and he’s trying to turn it around so he’ll look like a “big man” to his buddies. I’m afraid that he’s probably not the type you could remain friends with as he’ll see it as your attempt to get back together at some later time. (crawling back)
I’ve never had any “F***buddies”. I’m not the type who can sleep with someone I’m not romantically interested in.
If a guy is flirting with my g/f? I’d probably do something like give her a kiss or put my arm around her to let him know we’re together. Hopefully he’ll get the message. While I have never been afraid of getting into a guys face, there’s always the “what will she think of me if I do this” aspect I have a hard time wrestling with. Basically it’s my fear of what she thinks of me that would save him from a fight.
And her flirting with another guy is ok up to a point. Trust is a big part of a relationship, right? As long as she still leaves with me everything’s good. Unfortunately in my personal life that end result is questionable right now.
As far as letting a woman know I’m interested…….well I still have a hard time with that myself.
Were you at my house a few months ago? That sounds very familiar.
I’d give my left arm to have someone chase me all over town.
“Why do men ask what a woman is doing this weekend without any intentions of asking her out?”
Well, in some cases it may just be small talk. In a lot of them (and this is where I fall in) we’re trying to build up the courage to ask you out but can’t go through with it. I have been able to a few times and even after she said she didn’t have any plans, as soon as I asked her suddenly she can’t go out. Very crushing.
For your translations from that book. Well, yes there are a lot of guys out there who think that way. They drive me nuts. Guys like that are the biggest reason so many of us have a hard time getting women to trust our intentions. Yes, we’re all guys. We all have the voice in our heads that comes from our sex drive. But many of us are able to – maybe not silence it, but at least pay less attention to it than the ones who inspire books like that.
Yes, we do go to bars and clubs. We’re usually with a small group of friends or alone at the bar. Look for the guy in the dark corner trying not to be seen, or the one at the bar not turning around or spending his time watching the tv. Like was said, we have a hard time approaching women there. Especially if they are in a group. A group of women is bad enough, but if you’re there with guys……well we have no way of knowing if you’re with one of them.
Even eye contact is hard for me. In some cases if she sees me I’ll turn away embarrassed. If I see her smile my way then a lot of times I am afraid to ruin that by opening my mouth and having her find out what an idiot I am.
Calling at a specific time? Well, my word is about all I really have. If I say I’m going to do something I do it. Now, having said that there is another thing to take into account. If I say I’ll call at 10:00 and the phone rings right at 10, does that seem desperate? Would making it seem like I wasn’t sitting there with my thumb on the send button while I count down the seconds be better? Not necessarily 45 minutes, but maybe 5?
And you should wear anything that you feel comfortable in, but also something that gives the message you want it to.
The one time I did have to break up with a woman it was quick and in person. But necessary. We were driving along and she was smacking me for something stupid. I pulled over and got out of the car right there on the highway and walked home. Had to have a friend take me to pick my car up at her house the next day. But even if it was one of those slow to happen things I would do it in person out of respect. If it’s the other way around – well I don’t know. I would hope they’d have the same respect for me, but then again I wouldn’t want them to see me break down. So either way is bad. But via text? No way!
It sounds like you did the right thing breaking up with “GMW”. He just sounds too immature to know what’s important, thus taking you for granted. And now that you’ve broken up with him his ego won’t accept that and he’s trying to turn it around so he’ll look like a “big man” to his buddies. I’m afraid that he’s probably not the type you could remain friends with as he’ll see it as your attempt to get back together at some later time. (crawling back)
I’ve never had any “F***buddies”. I’m not the type who can sleep with someone I’m not romantically interested in.
If a guy is flirting with my g/f? I’d probably do something like give her a kiss or put my arm around her to let him know we’re together. Hopefully he’ll get the message. While I have never been afraid of getting into a guys face, there’s always the “what will she think of me if I do this” aspect I have a hard time wrestling with. Basically it’s my fear of what she thinks of me that would save him from a fight.
And her flirting with another guy is ok up to a point. Trust is a big part of a relationship, right? As long as she still leaves with me everything’s good. Unfortunately in my personal life that end result is questionable right now.
As far as letting a woman know I’m interested…….well I still have a hard time with that myself.
pkg_inc said:
Were you at my house a few months ago? That sounds very familiar.
Lonesome Crow said:
I’d give my left arm to have someone chase me all over town.
