Questions for the Men

[Rosebolt]

You reap what you sow.

 

[PenDragon]

I think that being in the friendship zone with an interesting and brainy lady is pretty cool.

+1.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Question for the men:

Basically the same question, only turned towards ourselves:

How do you express confidence outwardly, but without coming off as cocky? What are some examples?

 

[user 115627]

How do you express confidence outwardly, but without coming off as cocky?

Hmm...I'd say by not giving a rat's ass how my outward image appeals to others as long as I feel comfortable in my own skin. Confidence as a matter of authenticity, not hubris or extra-ordinarily outgoing attitude. In addition, forgiving your own mistakes and accepting when things don't go along smoothly. Being able to get a grip on yourself and move on ahead - even when reality bounces you around.

I'm just making this honeysuckle up as I type...

 

[Xpendable]

I'm just making this honeysuckle up as I type...

We need that honesty.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Question specifically for you, Xpendable:

Is your avatar some sort of version of Squidward?

 

[Xpendable]

Question specifically for you, Xpendable:

Is your avatar some sort of version of Squidward?

People said to me that I looked like Squidward because I have a big nose. I rather think I'm a more handsome version of him.

[video=youtube]

 

[BeyondShy]

Question for the men:

Basically the same question, only turned towards ourselves:

How do you express confidence outwardly, but without coming off as cocky? What are some examples?

I think this is a good question and it is one that I have given some thought in.

I am not a cocky person. That is one thing I have never been told about myself. Now, there are and were some things that I knew I could do and that I KNEW the final result was going to be in my favor. Examples:

1. When I was in school I knew I was going to pass. And I did. I passed everything because I knew how to study and taking exams never made me nervous. I didn't brag about it, I just did it. People noticed eventually and admired me for it. But I never bragged.

2. Computer problems. I do my own computer repair, installation, etc, etc. I know how to do it because I learned how. I did help relatives but no longer since they don't live near me.

But how do you express confidence outwardly? My God I wish I knew. And if any of you do know please respond in here.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Wish I knew too, never been able to. Seen people who are though without coming off cocky or too cocky. They are just comfortable with themselves, within their own skin and know who they are and don't care what other people think. Knowing your faults and not being afraid of them, embracing them, admitting to them. Being kind to others and not afraid to strike up a conversation with people. Not being a show off. That's my observations anyway.

 

[user 115627]

I've given it some more thought and while most people (including myself) claim it's a matter of being comfortable with yourself and knowing what you're capable of, I think different folks have varying perceptions of confidence. Especially when I read this part of Sci-Fi's post:

Being kind to others and not afraid to strike up a conversation with people.

I don't do that. I can do it, but most of the time I don't. If that would be crucial part of outward confidence, I'm afraid extroverts are in advantage here. I mean, how do you even know if somebody perceives you as confident? It's not like people approach you on the street and tell you "Good man, you look like a confident fella" - especially not if they are as introverted as you are. They might just respect you from far away. And of course I'm not inclined to ask them.

 

[PenDragon]

Question for the men:

Basically the same question, only turned towards ourselves:

How do you express confidence outwardly, but without coming off as cocky? What are some examples?

Don't know myself either. Most of the time I sound cocky as I have heard so many times. I guess being cocky is part of my personality.

 

[h3donist]

Walk tall and straight, be kind and smile, help people and pay them genuine compliments. That's a long way from cocky in my opinion. The irony of it all of course is that the cocky people are most likely more scared than we are - they've just developed a better social camouflage

 

[Oldyoung]

Express confidence?

Back straight, head held high, without overdoing it. (Just proper posture really)
Don't show any negative feelings. Hide fear, jealousy, etc.
Speak loud and clear.
Find the balance between being reserved and forward. Basically approach people with whatever is on your mind, straight to the point, but with minimal negative impact to that person. This needs an example I think. It's "excuse me. I am looking for a nearby hotel. Do you know any?" versus "Hi. Nice to meet you. Erm. I am looking for something, I hope you have time to help. Do you? Sure? Ok. Hotel. I mean, hotel. I'm looking for a hotel. Here. Or not too far. Far away"
Step up when you get the chance. Do not hide in the background behind others. Take initiative, but do not make it a competition with others.

This advice work just as well for women really. Confident women are more approachable, for awkward and "cool" guys alike!

 

[Xpendable]

There's a difference between expressing something and doing it naturally. Confidence is not a conscious act.

 

[BeyondShy]

There's a difference between expressing something and doing it naturally. Confidence is not a conscious act.

That's right. The right way to show confidence is to do it just as easy and without thinking as you would when you are checking the time on your wristwatch. That's the best analogy I can think of.

 

[PenDragon]

There's a difference between expressing something and doing it naturally. Confidence is not a conscious act.

That's right. The right way to show confidence is to do it just as easy and without thinking as you would when you are checking the time on your wristwatch. That's the best analogy I can think of.

Or looking sideways.

 

[BeyondShy]

There's a difference between expressing something and doing it naturally. Confidence is not a conscious act.

That's right. The right way to show confidence is to do it just as easy and without thinking as you would when you are checking the time on your wristwatch. That's the best analogy I can think of.

Or looking sideways.

What are you talking about?

 

[PenDragon]

There's a difference between expressing something and doing it naturally. Confidence is not a conscious act.

That's right. The right way to show confidence is to do it just as easy and without thinking as you would when you are checking the time on your wristwatch. That's the best analogy I can think of.

Or looking sideways.

What are you talking about?

Nevermind.

 

[BeyondShy]

Nevermind.

With a well thought out answer like that it's too bad you can't get one of your cronies to add to your reputation.

 

[PenDragon]

Nevermind.

With a well thought out answer like that it's too bad you can't get one of your cronies to add to your reputation.

Whoa!

Where did that come from?