Questions for the Men

[Sci-Fi]

I want kids, I love kids, it wouldn't matter to me if they weren't "mine" even though I would like to have some of my own. I kind of got involved into a ready made family with an old friend and got attached to her kids. Fortunately she showed how terrible of a person she was before things went too far. Broke my heart when everything went sideways. Still that experience doesn't sway me from someone with kids as long as she's a decent mother and doesn't put herself or me above her kids. To me when you decide to have children your "life" is pretty much over and starts anew, you are responsible for someone else now and their needs have to come before yours. If she is more concerned with herself and considers her children a burden on her having a life that's not the person for me.

 

[Siku]

I want kids, I love kids, it wouldn't matter to me if they weren't "mine" even though I would like to have some of my own. I kind of got involved into a ready made family with an old friend and got attached to her kids. Fortunately she showed how terrible of a person she was before things went too far. Broke my heart when everything went sideways. Still that experience doesn't sway me from someone with kids as long as she's a decent mother and doesn't put herself or me above her kids. To me when you decide to have children your "life" is pretty much over and starts anew, you are responsible for someone else now and their needs have to come before yours. If she is more concerned with herself and considers her children a burden on her having a life that's not the person for me.

+1
I'm pretty much on the same page as you.

That sucks man... especially after you started to bond with the little ones Her loss right? At least it happened early on, fortunately.

I know of a few people who seemingly put themselves and their needs above their children.

I'm a kid at heart so I often get a long with kids famously, nor do I care about genetics. A previous partner, We even considered adopting at one point since she was unable to conceive. In my opinion, You have to treat kids with respect, in justifiable moderation of course. You still have to be stern when needed. You'd be surprised how much a kid will look up to you if you treat them right. Hell, you might actually get through the rebellious phase unscathed. Haha.

My Neice who I practically raised, Now 19. Has more respect for me then she does her own parents. They often ask me to talk to her when she won't let up. I usually end up siding with her anyways since she's my mini-me.

(Slighty off-topic, related to your signature. Love Galaxy Quest. Haha! Alan Rickman /sadpanda)

 

[SofiasMami]

Guys - Do you prefer to be in relationships with dominant women? Not in the fetish sense but personality-wise. I also don't mean "assertive", I mean women who take charge and manage things and make most of the decisions, big or small.

-Teresa

 

[Oldyoung]

Guys - Do you prefer to be in relationships with dominant women? Not in the fetish sense but personality-wise. I also don't mean "assertive", I mean women who take charge and manage things and make most of the decisions, big or small.

-Teresa

I wouldn't like a dominating woman, cause I hate fighting, and there are times when something is important to me and I would want a word in or at least a compromise. Without having to make drama out of it.

And I wouldn't like a"submissive" woman either, who would ask me what curtains to buy or how many glasses we really need. Sometimes I'd rather just leave everything to her.

Basically, I would let a partner do whatever she wants in the living room, but she better stay out of my man cave (when it comes to furnishing)

There are some benefits to dominant women though. They pay the bills, make sure everything is insured and take care of other paperwork while you don't have to bat an eyelid as long as you take out the trash now and then. As long as the dominant woman respects me fully, and will compromise with me whenever I want to involve myself in any matter, I wouldn't mind at all. When it comes to it I'm more of a lazy person than a controlling person.

 

[Oldyoung]

Since I mentioned it, how do you guys feel about kids or "ready made families"?

Depends on my situation.

If I was in a position where I do NOT want to settle down, I would not be happy in a relationship where my partner had kids. Having to take her kids into consideration for everything would limit my freedom too much, and there's always the risk of the relationship ending. I'd feel too invested in the relationship AGAINST my own wishes, while for her she's not missing out on anything. She's just getting support to raise her kids. In case there's a breakup that's the resulting score. 1-0 to her.

If I wanted to settle down though, I think I could make it work. Since kids wouldn't change the way I would live my life too much from how I'd want to live otherwise. Then I'd see it as a fair trade off if she's really great.

So, ladies with kids. I think you'll have the best luck with somewhat older men.

 

[Veronika]

To me when you decide to have children your "life" is pretty much over and starts anew, you are responsible for someone else now and their needs have to come before yours.

+ 1

I wish more people thought this way. Im so sorry things didnt work out with the ex.

 

[kamya]

Guys - Do you prefer to be in relationships with dominant women? Not in the fetish sense but personality-wise. I also don't mean "assertive", I mean women who take charge and manage things and make most of the decisions, big or small.

-Teresa

It can be annoying. They will be very particular about everything and try to be super efficient. Usually they will get upset at you over little things that don't really matter. I prefer someone more laid back, yet still productive.

I **** you not I've had a conversation about why I'm not efficient enough when baking a frozen pizza. Could I do everything in a super efficient way? Sure if I bothered. But its ******* frozen pizza. It's not rocket science. Who cares if my way takes an extra 20 seconds.

And she would really have to prove herself before I let her have her way managing the big things. Or be very good at making a convincing argument on why her way is the best path to take.

I don't need a second mom.

 

[SofiasMami]

Maybe it's just the people I hang out with but I know a number of couples where the female partner is in charge and the guy is ok with taking a back seat.

I had a light bulb moment and figured out that men who like dominating women don't go for (passive) me. Not saying that's good or bad, just what I've noticed. It got me to wondering if a dominating personality is a common preference among men.
I fully admit I'm quite passive and avoid any hint of conflict, I just don't like it. But I feel like that is sometimes viewed as being boring and uninteresting. I'm fine with my personality but I wonder if it gets in the way of meeting someone. Who knows?

My two long term relationships were with guys who are from other countries and cultures that are often perceived as macho and male-dominated. But those relationships didn't last so there's that.

-Teresa

 

[MentatsGhoul]

Guys - Do you prefer to be in relationships with dominant women? Not in the fetish sense but personality-wise. I also don't mean "assertive", I mean women who take charge and manage things and make most of the decisions, big or small.

-Teresa

No. I know this is a generic answer, but a good middle ground is best. I don't want someone who is controlling or makes my decisions for me in any way (considering how laid back I am), nor do I want someone who is so submissive that they barely contribute to the relationship and aren't able to handle any potential issues that might arise. I guess I just want someone who's, idk, a person, rather than just someone who wants to lead me or wants me to lead them

 

[Sci-Fi]

Guys - Do you prefer to be in relationships with dominant women? Not in the fetish sense but personality-wise. I also don't mean "assertive", I mean women who take charge and manage things and make most of the decisions, big or small.

-Teresa

I don't want someone who is going to make decisions for me. I don't mind having their input and help but you can just be like, this is how it is and that's it. Both people have to have equal input in decision making. If she wants to take the lead that's fine but if you make them without me or asking me that's not cool.

 

[ardour]

Guys - Do you prefer to be in relationships with dominant women? Not in the fetish sense but personality-wise. I also don't mean "assertive", I mean women who take charge and manage things and make most of the decisions, big or small.

-Teresa

No, but not necessarily because it would bother me, (although it might). I would consider such relationships doomed, because a desire to control everything often originates from insecurity. It also implies a lack of interest in the other person, what makes them happy. If you respected someone then you might not want to be in charge.

 

[Xpendable]

I guess a dominant side is Ok; even sexy. But all the time can be unbearable.

 

[VanillaCreme]

What do some of you think about ladies who are not materialistic?

 

[ladyforsaken]

Would you want to be with a woman you're potentially interested in, who is terminally ill, or is bound to have a lot of health issues, on top of all her other internal issues she may have? Consider the challenging days ahead of her, the financial responsibilities, family planning difficulties etc.

Frankly speaking and morally correct answers aside. Not everyone would be totally okay with this, I'm pretty sure.

 

[Sci-Fi]

What do some of you think about ladies who are not materialistic?

Like heaven must have sent down and angel.

Would you want to be with a woman you're potentially interested in, who is terminally ill, or is bound to have a lot of health issues, on top of all her other internal issues she may have? Consider the challenging days ahead of her, the financial responsibilities, family planning difficulties etc.

Frankly speaking and morally correct answers aside. Not everyone would be totally okay with this, I'm pretty sure.

Honestly, I wonder about this a lot since my friend passed away. Her boyfriend was at her side everyday near the end. I frequent his business every week and have been a loyal customer for many, many years. He's doing pretty good now but I often wonder if I was him how would I have handled it. Of course I knew my friend since we were little kids so there's decades of memories there.

I don't know, I guess it would all depend on the connect I had with the person. Sometimes love can be stronger than anything and bring two people together even if it will be challenging at times.

 

[Xpendable]

What do some of you think about ladies who are not materialistic?

I think there's an inner materialism set in all of us, or at least in the occidental world. I myself have a little sense of materialism, but as I've said before, I've never had the chance to be materialistic. And surely we have spoiled women with rewards and expensive rings and weddings, big houses and travel. Of course not all men can provide that sort of thing but we soon realize what type of woman we're dealing with when they show interest in us even when we can't provide all this. As Sci-fi said, it would be a fresh breeze for me. Since at this point it's impossible not to generalize.

 

[Xpendable]

Would you want to be with a woman you're potentially interested in, who is terminally ill, or is bound to have a lot of health issues, on top of all her other internal issues she may have? Consider the challenging days ahead of her, the financial responsibilities, family planning difficulties etc.

Frankly speaking and morally correct answers aside. Not everyone would be totally okay with this, I'm pretty sure.

This may sound wrong but I'll do it in part for me. Because I know many men won't be willing to put themselves through that. But I also know that women will receive me with open arms; doesn't matter how I look or what I lack. Knowing her last days could easily end with no one, she would be willing to accept me in an stance in which I could probably get overlooked and dismissed. I Know it sounds bad but I feel so rejected that this would be my deduction.

 

[user 130057]

Would you want to be with a woman you're potentially interested in, who is terminally ill, or is bound to have a lot of health issues, on top of all her other internal issues she may have? Consider the challenging days ahead of her, the financial responsibilities, family planning difficulties etc.

Frankly speaking and morally correct answers aside. Not everyone would be totally okay with this, I'm pretty sure.

I'd be fine with it. I wouldn't say that I would relish the prospect, but the heart wants what the heart wants. I managed to make 4000 miles and a boyfriend seem like nothing when I wanted someone, so I'd just do whatever I had to do to make this work too.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Would you want to be with a woman you're potentially interested in, who is terminally ill, or is bound to have a lot of health issues, on top of all her other internal issues she may have? Consider the challenging days ahead of her, the financial responsibilities, family planning difficulties etc.

Frankly speaking and morally correct answers aside. Not everyone would be totally okay with this, I'm pretty sure.

This may sound wrong bu I'll do it in part for me. Because I know many men won't be willing to put themselves through that. But I also know that women will receive me with open arms; doesn't matter how I look or what I lack. Knowing her last days could easily end with no one, she would be willing to accept me in an stance in which I could probably get overlooked and dismissed. I Know it sounds bad but I feel so rejected that this would be my deduction.

Because dying people are so desperate they lose all sense of standards?

 

[Xpendable]

Because dying people are so desperate they lose all sense of standards?

No. Because maybe in such perspective about life they can have a second look on things they never considered before, and that probably didn't knew they needed.